Passion and Pain (Dancers and Divas) (34 page)

His eyes burn
ed
with lust as they roamed over her exposed breasts down to her legs. For one horrible moment, Elena thought he was going to take her right then
,
regardless of what she said.

“I can’t do this anymore, Elena. You say you love me and you trust me, and then the one chance you get to prove it, you doubt me. This is not a relationship.”

Worse.
He was going to leave her.

He turned from her and quickly put his clothes back on. “We’re done!” Without another glance, he walked out, slamming the door behind him.

Elena leaned against the door and crumbled to the floor crying. “Come back Jay! I love you.”

She lay on the floor weeping, confused. It wasn’t possible that they
’d
just broke
n
up. This was supposed to be one of the most important nights of her life and all she felt was cheap, ugly and childish. It was just sex! Why was it such a big deal? Everyone did it, right? She hated being a virgin, she hated men and she hated being Elena
.

Forty-two

Anya saw Darius waiting for her in the studio again. They hadn’t rehearsed since she’d had her melt down and as she saw him warming up, she turned in the opposite direction and ran away. She couldn’t face him just yet. At Elena’s party there
had
been
lots of people around
,
but now it would be
just
the two of them again, dancing. She felt guilty but she needed more time.

Darius stretched patiently as he waited. Maybe she was running late? Surely, the worse was over and there was nothing left for her to fear?

The clock ticked and still no Anya. He was disappointed but not surprised. Resigned, he used the time to work on choreography for the upcoming championships. It was the only thing that could take his focus off a blond ballerina.

The following week, Darius waited in the studio again, hoping against hope that she would turn up.  Fifteen minutes had passed and still there was no sign of her. He was getting ready to leave when she
arrived
, in normal black tights and a fitted top.

“Hi,” she said.

“Welcome back.”

“I’m sorry about last week, I..
.
”
She moved
her hands around, searching for words.

“Don’t worry about it. I get it.”

There was silence as she stood hesitantly near the doorway.

“So, what would you like to do today? Are you ready for partner work?”

She nodded.

“Warmed up?”

She nodded again.

“
S
hall we start with the simple assisted leaps and turns to get you used to it?”

“Okay.”

Darius was slightly perturbed by her quiet surrender. He preferred the rebellious Anya to this complacent person.

They did some turns and leaps without a problem. On one of the turns he deliberately misjudged it so that she fell over.

“What was that?” she called out.

“I wanted to check you were still alive.”

“You drop me just to get a rise out of me!”  She stood and glared at him with her hands on her hips but as
Darius grinned, she also couldn’t help but laugh.

“That’s better
,”
he said.
“
You walked in here looking like you were heading for the guillotine. Thought I would make sure you would yell at me when appropriate. It’s more fun that way
.
” She rolled her eyes.

“Well, can we get back to work now?”

“Back to normal then, I see,” Darius said. “Right
,
smarty pants,
then
how about we try some of those throws. Run and jump into my arms and I will lift you from your hips. So just keep your body straight.”

“I know what I need to do.”

Darius mimicked her response as she walked from him.

Anya turned to look at him and then ran directly into his arms as he lifted her easily.

“Now relax, Anya. Focus on looking tall up there. Am I hurting you?”

“No, it just feels weird.”

“Any
time it’s uncomfortable, you tell me. You’re in control, okay
?
Otherwise let’s stay here until it’s comfortable.” There was silence. “Or until my arms fall off.
Either way.”

She laughed and he felt her body relax.

“So, are you ready to try some moves where I support you from your inner thigh? It’s a much
more tender
spot.”

Anya hesitated but then nodded.

“Remember, whenever you want to come down, you just say so.”

The first time, Anya cried out and he put her down immediately. The second time, the same thing happened.

“I’m sorry, Darius.”

“Don’t even think about it,” he said. “I needed to do some arm work at the gym today anyway.”

“This is never going to work,” Anya said.

“Let’s try again.”

“
All right
.
You’re going to put me down whenever I say so, right?”

“Yeah.”

She turned and ran to him again. This time, she held on and he felt her relax
in his arms. She was doing it. It was going to be
okay
.

As Darius put her down, Anya sat down and took a deep breath.

“Everything
all right
?”

“Yeah, I just need a second.” She
doubled over, her hands resting on her thighs and
took two more deep breaths.

“Let’s do this!” she said.

Darius shook his head
. He was probably so confused.

“
Okay,
then.”

It took a few attempts but Anya ran to him with determination and held on despite the discomfort.

“Better?” he asked.

“Y
e
s
.”

He placed her down gently.

“Well done. Want to try something else?”

“Okay.”

He demonstrated with his hands the move he was thinking. “You are going to end up straddling my shoulders. Think you can do it?”

“Of course I can.”

It took a couple of tries but they succeeded.

“How about this?”
Darius said, explaining some of the more interesting hip hop
lifts
he was experimenting with.

He could tell that he had Anya’s focus now. She didn’t even seem to notice where he was holding her anymore and was as enthusiastic about experimenting as he was. They were twisted and wrapped around each other, attempting different shapes and connections, but she didn’t complain once.

“
Uggh
,” he groaned as she
kicked
him in the groin.

“Oh God, I’m so sorry,” she said placing her hands over her mouth.

“I need a minute.”

“I’m so sorry!” she said, blushing crimson. After a few minutes, Darius was back on his feet. “Let’s keep going.”

This time, it was him touching Anya in awkward places as they tried some more moves. He had accidentally touched her breast and her butt. She seemed to take
it
in her stride though
and never complained.
But then
he accidentally hurt
her
down there and
she cried out, pushing herself away from him.

“I am so sorry Anya. You slipped from my shoulder. Oh God, are you hurt?”

She stood back from him a moment, tense, her eyes showing fear, but he stayed back and waited, apologizing continually.

“We can stop if it’s too much,” he added when she wouldn’t move.

“No. It was an accident. I know. I want to try those moves.”

“Are you sure?”

She
bit
her lips and nodded.

“
All right
then, come here,”
he said smiling with open arms.

She flew into his arms as he lifted her in the air and let her go with a double twist into his arms.

And then again as he lifted her to straddle his shoulders and then held her
with extended arms
as she dropped down head first
into the next move
.
The
y
went through different
lifts
, again and again.
T
wo
hours later
,
they were both exhilarated and bruised.

“I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow,” Anya said as she collapsed on the floor.

“Well, at least you’ll be able to move your arms. Nice job Anya,” he said patting her on the shoulder.

“Ouch, that hurts,” she said, causing them both to laugh and groan simultaneously.

“Milkshake?” she asked.

Darius looked at her with raised eyebrows. “As long as I don’t have to carry you, we’re good.”

She winced loudly as she rose to change. “See you back here in twenty? I need the extra time to walk to the changing rooms and back.”

Darius laughed heartily. It was great to see the real Anya. He thought he would never see her again after last week but here she
was,
not only back, but also risking trusting him. He sighed. He had to remember to thank Elena for bribing him to do this
-
it was working out very well indeed.

Forty-three

Her birthday was
over
,
winter break had begun, and still not a word from Jay. She looked at her phone several times, telling herself to call him, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t bear to have him break up with her again. He needed time and he should apologize, she kept telling herself.
But Christmas came and New Years came and nothing,
n
ot
even a text.

Two days before the end of break, he called her. She saw his name on the screen and her plan to be casual flew out the window.

“Jay,” she answered. “I missed you!”

“I missed you too,” he replied.  ”Got time for coffee?”

She heartily agreed and he came to pick her up half an hour later to take her to Starbucks. Elena was ecstatic. It was all going to be okay.

“How you been? How was Christmas?” he asked as they sat down in a corner booth, facing the street.

Elena tapped her foot impatiently.
“Miserable without you.”

“I know. We didn’t part in a good way
,
which is why I thought we should catch up.” She was sure he was going to apologize now. They were the couple of the school for God’s sake. It couldn’t end like this!

“Things have changed. I have some exciting news!”

Elena stopped tapping her foot. It wasn’t supposed to start like that.

“I’ve been given an opportunity to go to Los Angeles and work with some of the leading producers at Sony!”

“That’s fantastic! You so deserve it.” She placed her hand over his and he didn’t pull away.

He brought his other hand on top of hers. “I’m leaving in six weeks, and I’m going to be away for two to three months.”

“Six weeks is a long time,” she said.
“Plenty of time to be together.”
She leaned in and kissed him with all the tenderness she could muster.

He sighed. “Elena, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I really care about you but I’m going to be gone for a while.”

Elena got up and went to sit on his lap. “I’m sure we can manage,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. “Three months is not so long to wait if you love someone.”

“Let’s go back to the car then and do this,” he whispered, drawing her close.

Elena’s mind was working fast. She was losing at her own game. She hadn’t meant for it to go that far right now.  But if she didn’t, she would lose him.

“The car will be uncomfortable,” she said, stroking his face. “There’s still time before you go.”

He lifted her up and placed her back onto the cushion
seat
.

“This is what I mean. We’re just at different places right now. Maybe when I come back, we could start again. You’ll be a bit older and I will have graduated. I might not even come back if it goes well in LA.”

“I’ll wait for you, Jay. I promise.”