Passion and Pain (Dancers and Divas) (37 page)

Forty-six

Since her last session with Darius, Anya had noticed the change in herself. It was like the huge wall surrounding her had been demolished and she felt free to be herself.

“Anya, I am so glad you have taken the criticisms
to heart
,” Ms Fontaine said in her contemporary class. “Your dancing has improved remarkably. I would like to give you a special project.”

“Sure!”

“I noticed that you avoided the choreography on love. However, I feel it’s an important challenge for you to take on. So, I would like you to find a partner of your choice and create a special piece expressing love
-
any style or music you like and any sort of love you want. Can you do that for me?”

Anya gulped and nodded. It would have been the same as working on the
“
fear
”
theme. That’s what she was feeling.
So much for the free and happy Anya.
 

“Let me see it next month, okay?”

God, what was she going to do? Anya’s mind was in turmoil as the thought through the options.
Love.
What did she know about love? Should she ask Darius? No, that would be embarrassing. He might take it the wrong way. On the other hand, she felt most comfortable with him
,
and they could do some amazing lifts.

Who else could she ask? There was her ballet dance partner but he was nowhere near the same level as her and even more uptight than she was. Elena was already involved in the group choreography. She fidgeted with her hands, anxiously scanning her brain for another solution but none came. She sighed. There was no avoiding it
-
she would have to ask Darius.

A few days later, she saw him in the studio waiting for her. She reached the door and was about to step in when she immediately turned to walk back out. It was too late, he
’
d seen her. 

“Hey Anya, what’s up?”

“Darius, hi.
Great news! Ms. Fontaine was happy with my dancing. She said there’s been a marked improvement.
Thanks to you.”

“That was the point
,
wasn’t it?” he said, twisting his face towel with his hands. “So where do we go from here? I assume you don’t need my help anymore?”

“I guess not,” she said, biting her lip.

“That’s it then. You’re a new dancer.”

Anya inhaled slowly. “Well, um, actually. I might need your help with one more thing,” she said and exhaled loudly.

Darius laughed. “Tell me what you need
,
Anya
. I
t’s only me.”

“Ms. Fontaine asked me to create a new piece showing lots of emotion.”

“Right.
What did you have in mind?”

“It can be any style, it just has to entail this one emotion
-
l
ove.” Anya kept biting her lip. She waited for Darius to laugh.

“Hmm.
That could be interesting. Did you have any particular music in mind?”

He didn’t seem
phased
at all.  “Um, there is a song which I think is beautiful called ‘Show Me
,’
that
I really liked. It has a great lyrical tone
,
so it should be easy to dance to
,
and
it
allows for lots of expression,” she rambled. And it said what she couldn’t.

“Do you have it with you?” Anya nodded. “Show me what you have so far.”

“Does that mean you’re going to help me?” she asked as she went to place her iPod into the stereo system.

“I do have a lot of rehearsals on at the moment…” he said, tapping his fingers on his lips
.
“
B
ut I think it should be fine if we focus during our sessions. How long do we have?”

“Four weeks.”

“Let’s not waste any
more time
,
then!”

She showed Darius her choreography ideas to date, long and flowing. “That was beautiful, Anya. But can I suggest we change some of these steps and add
a
lift here? I mean, listen to the words
:

“
I never dreamed there would ever be

Someone who saw the real me

Who could know my darkest
secrets

And never run in fear
.
”

“
So we’re talking about giving everything of yourself hoping you’ll have that returned. That means you are feeling vulnerable.”

He looked at her reflectively.
“Hmmm.
How about you come towards me, scared, but we don’t quite meet as you are waiting for my reaction.” He suggested some moves that she expanded on.

“Yeah, that’s really good.” He replayed the song to listen to the words again.

“Then the
bridge
:

Could you really be the
one

To give me hope and hold me tight

Make love to me all through the night?
”

“
So you are still very vulnerable and extremely passionate but you are taking a risk.” He stopped for a moment and looked up at her. “This is a great song
,
Anya.
How odd that you stumbled across it.”

Anya shrugged, hoping she wouldn’t start crying. She was already anxious and with all this vulnerability and passion she was drawing on, she felt
naked
.

They practiced the moves they
’d
agreed
up
on a couple of times so that they flowed. Anya noticed how Darius’s arms tightened around her sometimes. She assumed he was making sure she was secure.

“Let’s look at the chorus where I believe the lovers unite,” he said as he went back to the music to replay the chorus:

“
Hurry up and come to me

Save me from myself

Hurry up and mould my body

Skin to skin with yours

I want to know what love feels like

Hurry up and show me love tonight
.
”

“They’re talking about making love for the first time, with intense intimacy. There’s a lot of anticipation and tension, so we want to build it up.” He gulped and stared at her intensely for the briefest moment. Anya caught her breath.

“It makes sense that the chorus is partner work, right?” he said.

“Yeah.”

“Try this,” he said explaining the ideas he had for how they would connect and intertwine. “What do you think?”

“It’s great!” What did she know about lovemaking or intimacy? She bit her lip again as she watched Darius explain the moves. All she knew was that she needed to be close to Darius but was afraid to be.

By the third week, Anya knew the moves and fought to let go of her inhibitions. But it was strange. Now, as they joined to dance, his touch sent electricity through her body. As a move required him to trace the side of her body, Anya could feel herself blush, but she couldn’t stop the dance.

By
the last chorus, they were so close together and so connected with the music that when Darius drew her up against his body for the final move, he kissed her. He instantly pulled away, looking down in shame but she pulled him forward and returned his kiss with ardor.

“Anya,” he said as he lifted her up, embraced her and kissed her with every inch of his heart and soul on her lips, her face, her neck, till she turned her head and cried gently onto his shoulder. He put her down gently. “I’m sorry, was that too much?” She shook her head in his chest.

“I love you Darius,” she said as she looked at him through tear-stained eyes.

“Oh God I love you,” he said, clasping her tightly, his eyes watering. “I thank God for bringing you to me every day.” He stroked her face and kissed her softly on the lips.

With the choreography complete and their feelings revealed, Anya was ready to present the piece to her teacher.

“Just trust me, remember?” he told her as they stepped into position.

Anya nodded. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath and forced herself to relax. “It’s just me and Darius. I love Darius and he is not going to hurt me. I am not afraid,” she said to herself.

“From the beginning?” she said gazing into his eyes. He really did have the kindest eyes in the world, she thought, as she caressed his face.

Ms Fontaine started the music while Anya looked at Darius and let her body go.
The leaped and turned, separated far from each other and then intertwined
.
When their faces were close
,
he looked at her like there was no one else in the world and she felt safe.
They finished
i
n a low dip, emulating passion, Darius’s face close to her body as she leaned back.
It was magical. There was no longer any difference between her heart and her dance
-
they were the same.

“That was beautiful, you two. Absolutely beautiful,”
Ms Fontaine
cried excitedly, tears in her eyes.

Anya blushed as she returned her attention back to her teacher. “Darius, I don’t know what you did to this girl, but she definitely found her soul.”

“I merely brought out what was always there,” he said,
gripping her shoulders tightly.

“I would love for you to perform that at the showcase and I also think you should enter the national dance competition. This piece is definitely special.”

“Thank you
,
Ms. Fontaine
. T
hank you,” Anya cried out. She was so happy. She didn’t even care if she never did another American Ballet School class again
. S
he had discovered two great loves
-
the true love of dance and the true love of a caring
guy
. It was worth all the risk in the world.

Forty-seven

Elena marked the day off her calendar
-
April 24. It had been two months since Jay had left for Los Angeles. She had spoken to him twice
,
but both times the conversations
had been
short and he
’d
always sounded like he was in a hurry. He was trying to launch his career, she reminded herself.

She lay back against her pillow and recalled their last meeting. As humiliating as it was, it proved he still wanted her. He did say they could talk again when he got back, which meant there was still a chance.

Get a life! Elena chided herself. Move on. But she couldn’t. She tossed and turned remembering his touch, the warmth of his body, his brilliant smile. It c
ouldn’
t be over! He was coming back
-
it was just a few more weeks. Screw it. It was late, but she dialed his number anyway. 

“Hey Jay,
it’s
Elena.”

“Hey Elena!”
He wasn’t mad, that was good.

“It’s been forever. Any luck on the publishing side? What’s been happening?”

“I think we may have something,” he said. “But I don’t want to jinx it. Sony Records want
s
to come back with an of
fer in the next week. I’m so nervous!
”

“
This
is huge! Any plans to come back yet?”

“Don’t know. It all depends on what happens. Letitia is about to come out as well and audition with some of my songs, so it’s really happening. Thankfully I’ve enough credits to graduate so I don’t have to worry about that.”