Passion and Pain (Dancers and Divas) (38 page)

“Right.”
A brief silence followed. “Um, you know the end of year parties are coming up soon.”

“Oh yeah, of course.”

“And I was hoping that you would still take me to my sophomore party.”

“Of course I would if I’m back. What’s the date?”

“The showcases are between May twent
ieth
and twenty-seven
th
. Sophomore celebration night is on the twenty-eighth and Senior Prom night is on the thirty-first.”

“Hmmm.
Just hang on a second.” He put the phone on mute and left for a good five minutes.

Elena changed positions on her bed several times, playing with the thread on her duvet cover and clinging to the phone.
The silence on the other end was deafening.

“Sorry Elena, I had to check some dates.”

“Sure.”

“I’m really sorry, but I can’t make it. I
’
m definitely going to be here
’
til the thirty-first. Letitia is coming over
in the
beginning of May. We won’t even be there for the showcases!” She could hear his breath, inhale,
exhale
. “I am so sorry. Lucky you called! I’m not even
going to make it to my own prom!
”

“Is there any way those dates could change? I mean you don’t have the deal yet…”  She could feel the tears building up but she refused to cry.

“This is my career! Aren’t you listening? I’m working on a deal with Sony. High school parties are the least of my concerns.” Elena knew he was right and she was wrong. She knew she didn’t matter to him but she so desperately wanted it to be different.
I thought you loved me once,
seemed pitiful.

“I know
Jay,
I was just hoping we could have a real goodbye. We didn’t leave it in a good place,” Elena said quietly.

“I know
,
honey,” he said gently. “How about when I get back to New York, we spend some time together, just you and me
?
You’ll have finished school for the year, I’ll be having a break and we can be us again.”

Just the two of them.
It sounded heavenly.

“Really?
You mean that? 
Us again?”

“Absolutely.
It’s
one more month. I’ll call you as soon as I get back.”

“Okay. I’ll wait.”

“Bye
,
honey.”

Bye, beautiful gorgeous man. Elena hugged her phone to her chest. He was coming back to her. He promised. In a month it was going to be Elena and Jay again. Forget the sophomore party, this was bigger. When they were together again, she’d see him all the time. She knew it would all work out.

Forty-eight

Elena arrived
at
her
Jane Eyre
rehearsal
with renewed energy.

“You’re in a good mood,” Sebastien said.

“I had good news last night, that’s all.”

He raised his eyebrow questioningly but she didn’t elaborate.

“Whatever,” Sebastien said under his breath.

Elena stood on stage and breathed to gain her focus. Jane Eyre.
Troubled woman with a broken heart.
Got it.

“Ready
,
everyone?”
Mr. Harding called out. “Let’s go.”

Elena entered the stage where Sebastien was sitting, playing the blind and handicapped Rochester. As Jane Eyre, she took his damaged hand and placed it on her face. She imagined her reunion with Jay.

“After all this time, do you think I would cease to love you?” Jane Eyre said.

“Jane, is that you?”

“I have returned.”

He pulled his hand away. “I am but a skeleton of the man you knew. I am not worthy of your love.”

Elena came in closer and turned Sebastien’s face to her. Elena was touched by the sadness and anguish in his face. He was good!

“And yet here I am. If I am not with you, I will never be happy,” she said staring into Sebastien’s eyes. He was supposed to be blind, but Sebastien was staring at her intently. She kissed him tenderly, his eyes closed. As his eyes opened, Elena sensed a change. And that was it. He pulled her to him and kissed her like he had never kissed her before. She didn’t know why but she returned his passion, unable to stop. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, she could hear their teacher calling “
C
ut, curtains are down,” but it sounded
like
part of another world.

Finally Elena pulled away. “Wow,” she said catching her breath, “I could really feel that. You’ve been working on that scene.” She looked away, confused by her own response. It was acting after all, right? She was in love with Jay, wasn’t she?

“Okay kids, time for a break,” she heard the teacher yell out. “Sebastien, I think we need to make some minor adjustments there, as it didn’t quite fit in. Rochester is still blind, remember, so you can’t gaze into her eyes like that.” Sebastien nodded abstractly while Elena sat down, trying to process that amazing kiss.

“Elena,” he began. “I wasn’t acting.”

“Huh? I really need to stop doing these romantic plays. There is too much kissing involved.” She stood and exited the theatre.

“Elena!”

“I need some fresh air. This is too much.”

“Damn it!”

Elena’s head was spinning. She didn’t expect kissing Sebastien would feel this way. It was Sebastien, her best friend. Actually, it was just acting she reminded herself. He ha
d
a girlfriend right?
Simone or Sharon or something.
  Of course, it was all in her head.

“Elena.” Sebastien came out after her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s okay really, Seb. You’re a brilliant actor and you just got carried away in the scene. It’s fine. I understand.”

“No, it’s not that.”

“We should get back. The teacher’s probably wondering what’s happened to us.” She turned to move towards the
theatre
, still confused.

He grabbed her by the shoulders. “Elena, listen to me. It wasn’t the play!” He held her face and looked ready to kiss her again. “I know you felt it too. It’s us. I love you Elena! I always have.”

Elena pulled away, crying. “That wasn’t the reaction I was looking for,” he said as he
drew her into his arms and stroked her hair
.

“Sebastien, I love you more than life itself but not like that. I can’t. I still love Jay. I know it’s ridiculous
,
but I promised I would wait ’til he got back. Last night, he said we would be together when he came back.”

“He doesn’t deserve you!”

“Oh Seb, I need to let him go
,
but I can’t. I keep having this feeling that Jay and I don’t have much time. This horrible feeling in my gut that I’m never going to see him again once we catch up. I want that one last chance.”

He held her in his arms as she sobbed. “
Shhh
,” he whispered as she sobbed into his chest.

“Seb, I am so sorry. I would never hurt you and I would never want to lose you. You have a girlfriend. Maybe it’s not what you think between us?”

“You’re probably right. Forget I said anything. I was getting caught up in the play. We better get back to rehearsal before Mr. Harding sends out a search party.”

Elena nodded while wiping her eyes.

“Yeah, let’s go back and pretend to be lovers,” Sebastien said as he followed her in.

Forty-
nine

It was finally showcase time again. All the rehearsals led to this final week of performances.
There were no second chan
c
es.
Jane Eyre
was up first.

Sebastien looked at himself in the mirror as he adjusted his cravat.
He
continued to treat Elena like the friends they
’d always been,
but
he
couldn’t kid himself
-
he was crushed. She
’d
picked Jay again!  Jay. Jay. Jay. Jay. How he hated that name. The loser! Jay was just leading her
on,
he knew it in his heart. Why couldn’t she see that? Damn if he wasn’t going to enjoy every time he kissed her in that scene.

In the adjoining dressing room, Elena finished getting ready for the performance. As she applied her mascara, she thought about Sebastien again and that incredible kiss. She didn’t understand it. It felt amazing and yet she felt she was betraying Jay. She shook her head to dismiss her confusing thoughts. Jay was coming in a week. Once she saw him she was sure it would all be clear.

Sebastien knocked and came into the dressing room looking serious. “Ready?”

“Seb, I really hope this goes well.”

“W
e’ve practiced it to death. You know your lines inside out and we’re both brilliant,” he said as he
bent down before her and
held her hands. “Plus, if you forget anything and I’m on stage, don’t worry, we’ll start improvising. Maybe we can even turn
it
into a comedy. That will be a treat for everyone.”

“What would I do without you
,
Seb?” she said as she gave him a light hug.

“Well, actually…” he began.

“Places
,
everyone!”

“Okay, here it goes,” Elena said. They looked at each other briefly before taking their places.

On stage, Elena felt incredible. She was Jane Eyre, in love, alone and finally happy.  When they arrived at the final scene, that kiss was as intimate and passionate as it would have been between any two reunited lovers.
It tugged at her heart, but she knew it was the emotion of the play.

Applause and cheers could be heard as Elena and Sebastien turned to take their bow.

Offstage they embraced each other, relieved and happy.

“Great job!” they said to each other and their fellow cast members.

They changed into their regular clothes and went into the
theatre
to meet with their friends and family.

“Mom!”
Elena called out.

“Elena, why is it that every play you
’
re in requires kissing? Schools these days,” she said shaking her head. Elena rolled her eyes.

“It’s part of the play. No big deal.”

“Well, that last scene was very authentic, though I’m pretty sure in those days that sort of kissing didn’t really happen
’
til after marriage.”

“What do you mean?”

“Only that you and Sebastien seemed to have that real connection.”

“We’re best friends and he’s a brilliant actor.”

“I don’t think he was acting
,
honey,” her mother said and then added after a pause, “Why didn’t you two ever get together?”

“What?
Me and Seb?
He’s too busy dating seniors. Anyway, I’m in love with Jay, remember?” She heard herself say it but did she mean it?

“Jay. I haven’t seen him around for a while. I thought that was long over. I’m just saying that you and Sebastien looked good together, that’s all.” Her mother fiddled with her
purse
and told her she would wait for her outside.

Elena was confused by her mother’s comments. First, it was not like her mom to be so opinionated about her acting or about Sebastien. Where did that come from? Secondly, she couldn’t possibly be in love with Sebastien. She had shared songs with Jay, and moments of passion. She would almost faint any
time Jay was in the room. She never felt like that about Sebastien. Yes, the kiss
had been
amazing
,
but it was part of a play, an acting
moment. It was still Sebastien -
witty, supportive, caring and honest.
One more week till she saw Jay.
She couldn’t screw up now.

Next on the program was Leon’s
Macbeth
performance.

“Elena, I’m dreading this!” he said as she helped him put the final touches to his costume. “Frankie’s been kicked out of school for being caught with drugs. Then Letitia, Lady Macbeth herself, pulled out three weeks ago to tour with Jay. So we’ve been working with understudies for the last couple of weeks.”

Sebastien ambled in, sitting down and putting his feet up on the dressing table.
“Ready to go?”

“You’re looking cheerful,” Elena commented.