Past All Forgetting (26 page)

Like a ghost she flitted through the shadowed hall, less bare now with the addition of paper chains and holly, and started up the stairs. Instinct had guided her before. She let it take over again now, and it lead her to his old room, the one that Fleur now occupied.

It was dark, but she could see the faint outline of his tall figure at the window, and the glow of the cigar he was smoking.

She paused just inside the door. 'Rian,' she said, a little uncertainly.

He swung round with a muffled exclamation. The room was suddenly very still as if they had both ceased to breathe.

'What are you doing here, Janna?' he asked eventually. 'There's nothing for you here.'

'I haven't come to take,' she said steadily. 'I've come to give, if you'll let me.'

'Save your gift,' he said harshly. 'Save it for the man you're going to marry. I told you that once before. Travers still hankers after you, you know. You'd only have to lift your little finger to get him back.'

She shook her head, uncaring whether he could see her or not in the shadowy room.

'The gift is yours, Rian,' she told him. 'If you refuse me, then it will just have to remain ungiven for the rest of my life. There's no part of me that belongs to Colin—not even my little finger.'

She tried to laugh, but it ended in a sob. She heard him breathe her name, and then all darkness fled as his arms found her.

His mouth took hers with such hunger it was as if he was drinking heaven from her lips. The touch of his hands, the very pressure of his body against hers held a stark demand that she answered with totally joyous abandon.

'Oh, Janna, my sweet witch,' he murmured at last, his voice barely audible. 'I thought you'd settled for security as the lady of the manor the second time around. Your mother was so certain that it was Colin you really wanted. She told me if I had any real feeling for you that I'd get out of your life, and give you back your peace of mind. I didn't want to believe her, and then I saw how upset you were at that damned bazaar when he turned up with another girl.'

'That didn't upset me,' she protested, pressing her cheek against his chest and savouring the warmth of his skin through the thin wool sweater. 'I'd just discovered that everyone knew about that night we spent at the motel. One of the Watson girls works there and saw us. People were saying that I'd given Fleur the leading part in the school, play because I was your mistress and wanted to please you.'

'I see,' he said drily. 'I suppose I should have explained more fully what the situation was when I brought Fleur here, but really I felt it was Kim San's and Philip's business, not mine. I came to Carrisford with Fleur to finalise matters over the house, and give those two a chance to sort out their problems on their own. They've had one parting and misunderstanding after another, but I always had the feeling that if they could just get together a while without any pressures that there might be a miracle. And I was in a position to offer some practical help as well, by turning Carrisbeck into an adventure school and offering Philip the chance of funning it.'

He drew her over to the window and they sat down on the wide ledge that served as a window seat.

'You didn't want to live here yourself?' She traced the shape of his mouth with her forefinger.

'No. My memories of this house were never entirely happy. It's better that it should be used for some useful purpose. I think my uncle felt the same.' He paused. 'We made up our quarrel before he died. He didn't alter his will, but he drew up a deed of gift making over to me a sufficient sum to buy the house as soon as it came on the market. That's why I was able to act with such speed.'

'But you didn't have to do it all yourself,' she said. 'If your—memories were so unhappy, you could have appointed someone as your agent, surely?'

'I came back for you, Janna,' he said abruptly. 'I was hurt and bitter when you didn't answer my letter all those years ago, but no matter what I did—and God knows I tried—I couldn't forget you. You'd been my torment for long enough, so I decided I would make you suffer a little bit too. I guessed your conscience would still be troubling you over what happened all those years ago, and I told my you'd asked for it.' He sighed. 'But then I saw you again, and it wasn't that simple any more. I saw the shell you'd built up around yourself, and I had to find out if you—the real you—were still there inside it. As soon as I kissed you, I knew that you were, and I knew also that I had to have you, even if. I had to fight dirty to get you.' He kissed her lingeringly. 'I told myself it just wasn't possible you could love Travers and respond to me as you did. But when you broke with him, suddenly I was at a distance again.'

'I thought you were going to marry Kim San,' she told him candidly.

'Following on, I suppose, from the burning conviction in everyone's mind that I had to be Fleur's father.' He gave a slight chuckle. 'I never actually said I was, you know. But I guessed that whole numbers of people, your worthy headmistress among them, were leaping to conclusions from the few details I felt able to give.' 'But you could have told me.'

He kissed her again. 'You never asked me, my love, or I would have done. And when I thought that it was Colin you really loved after all, I told myself you hadn't asked because you didn't care.

'I cared,' she whispered against his lips. 'Oh, God, how I cared! I—I gave in my notice at school, because I couldn't bear the thought of having to live in the same town and know that you were there, married to someone else.

'My own feelings were practically identical.' He gave an unsteady laugh. 'And I blame other people for leaping to conclusions. What a pair of fools we've been!' His arms tightened around her. 'But it's over now. We don't have to suffer any more, either of us. Don't you realise, my darling, we're both free, to go anywhere we want—together.'

'Just as though the last seven years had never happened,' she whispered with a catch in her voice. 'Oh, Rian, where shall we go?'

'Wherever my work sends me,' he said simply. 'Nothing has changed. It will still be the same life in hotels, living out of suitcases, that I offered you before. But this time, I promise you, we'll make a permanent home—to bring our children up in. But not yet I'll want you all to myself for a while at least.'

He bent his head and their lips met in a passionate kiss that wiped away all the bitterness of the past, and made the future a shining reality.

As they clung to each other, in the distance a child's Voice began to sing 'Away in a Manger', a pure sound with an almost unearthly sweetness as it floated up to them through the still winter air.

Rian raised his head. 'Fleur,' he said with a laugh in his voice. 'A tactful way of telling us we're no longer alone. Shall we go down and tell them?'

He kissed her again, then hand in hand they went out of the room together.