Payce's Passions (16 page)

“That’s his ex, the man who made up some story and had him thrown in jail. Yeah, I know it,” Ash spouts off.

“Look at yourself right now, you still believe someone got the best of him? It was Aaron all along. He assaulted Damien, put him in the hospital damn near killing him. He had you bailing him out, and they caught him inside their house. He came home beat the hell up didn’t he? It’s because Dax kicked his ass that night.”

Ash shakes his head, trying to let it soak in. “I don’t understand.”

“Did Brax ever tell you why I left back when we were younger?” I ask Ash, since he seems to know everything.

“He said you got arrested.”

“I did, but you want to know why? I saved Aaron’s ass from having to go. We go way back with him, you just don’t get it. Answer a question for me.” I’ll offer him proof now.

“Fine.” Sparks rubs up and down his back as we talk.

“Why doesn’t anyone here know who he is? Bet that was all his doing. He always has excuses like he had something to do or wanted a night at home, whatever reasons he gave you. He would know that Brax owns the place, and that makes one more person who could identify him. Aaron just fucked up big time, and you’re going to get yourself wrapped up in it if you’re not careful.” I sit down in the chair.

“Ash, you can’t go back there, not after this. You’re coming to stay with me.” Sparky looks at Ash, and he shakes his head. “I wasn’t asking. You are not going back there, no way, not on my shift.”

Ash shrugs. “Fine.”

“Smart move. I need to know where you live,” I tell him.

“Why? What are you going to do to him?” Ash leans forward.

“Who cares, look what he did to you, Ash,” Serge jumps in.

“He has a point.” I look at Sparks. “Bet it has to do with him not getting his way, usually it’s about money for Aaron.”

Ash nods.

“I’m not going to kill him, but he’s going to the cops.”

Sparky hands him a notebook and pen, and Ash scribbles down the address handing it to me. I reach for it also, and jot down my number for him too, handing everything back to Sparky.

“Call me if he contacts you at all, Ash.”

“He will, promise,” Sparky answers for him.

“You take care of him, Serge, and I’m sorry this happened to you.” I turn to walk out, and look back over my shoulder. “Brax doesn’t know about this. He knows I’m looking for Aaron, he doesn’t know that I came here to find you in order to do that.” I step out of the office.

Sparky is hugging Ash, but waves behind his back. I laugh to myself, he really is quick as lightening.

Ash wrote down everything I need, address, phone and make and model of the car. There’s only one thing left to do. He’ll come home sooner or later, the fucker’s got to hide, and when he does I’ll be there.

Chapter Sixteen

Braxton

Two nights ago Payce left and I haven’t heard from him since. He’s definitely making sure I get time to think on this. After the girlie tantrum I threw, it’s no surprise at all. If he’ll just explain why he didn’t come to me after he got released, that would help. In fact, I’m interested in why he never came to me at any point during the last seven years, since he knew where I was. What held him back? If he can explain it to me, I might get past this.

Who am I kidding?
At this point, even sending me a text or calling would be good enough. I just need Payce to do something, hell anything, to show me I’m worth it this go around, instead of giving up on us again.

I’m glad I have a few days off from work. I explained everything that was happening to Ash. He knew about Payce a couple years ago, when I blew up in front of everyone at the grill, but he’s the only one that knew all the details and a name. God, this reminds me of how close I came to breaking down back then, and I hate the feeling.

Sleep would be nice, it might shut off some of the crazy in my head. All this thinking is draining me and I can’t get my brain to slow down. I lock the front door and walk down the hallway, stopping to remember us here the other night. I haven’t been that happy in years. Everything was perfect with Payce for a short time, then it was gone as quick as it came. Screw this, I’m going to bed now to try and forget everything.

Payce’s cologne still lingers on the comforter. I love the way he smells, so manly and sexy. It’s a hit of musk, vanilla with leather mix…pure masculinity. I yank it in close to me, curling it around my body, it’s almost like he’s here. I start drifting off.

It sounds like someone just pounded on the wall.
Ah…what is that sound?
It pounds over and over, louder and louder.
For Christ’s sake
. I sit straight up, shit it’s two o’clock in the morning. I crawl out of the bed, pissed off at whoever is beating my door down. I don’t even care that I’m only in my boxers. I walk toward the front door to see who’s trying to knock it off the damn hinges and jerk it open.
It’s Payce.

I lean against the metal door jamb looking at him. Tight leathers are glued to his legs with a black jacket to match. He pulls his helmet up over his head and tucks it under one arm, his gloved hand holding it steady. His hair is a mess and his eyes are bloodshot, he’s biting into his top lip.
What the hell is wrong with him?
He stares at me, lips quivering.

“I can’t do this with you again. I’m tired, Braxton. I’m just so fucking tired. Always running away from you, and hiding from myself.” A tear leaks down his cheek. “Tell me how to fix this.”

Every ounce of doubt I have vanishes on the spot and I reach out to him. He looks shattered, it’s bad. Payce does the whole denial thing when it’s something that stirs up any kind of emotions. He plays the mental mind fuck game with himself, the hide and seek routine. If you don’t acknowledge it, then it doesn’t exist. Now he’s a wreck and I don’t know how to handle it.

With my thumb, I stroke his tear away. He continues staring at me, looking lost, but not saying anything else. I take his helmet out of his hand and put it on the table. 

“Payce, what the hell is going on?”

He brushes me off, shaking his head. “Nothing. I shouldn’t have come.”

“Don’t you dare shut me out, not this time, Payce.” I grab his arm and pull him inside. “Talk to me.”

He steps inside and we walk into the kitchen, I fill a glass with water for him. He puts his palms down on the counter to balance, and his head drops down. “I don’t know how to do this, Brax.”

I step up behind him, nudging my hand along his back. “Do what?”

Payce turns to face me. He looks down at me and our eyes meet. “This…us.” He points from his chest to mine, then back again. “I don’t want to lose you, but I don’t want to hurt you again. How do I stop it?”

“Let me be a part of ‘us’ this time.”

He bites into his lip, looking in my eyes, then to my mouth and back up again. “Brax, are you even willing to try this again?”

I reach out sliding my arms around him. His body stays rigid to my touch, then his eyes close.

I take his hand and pull him behind me, into the bedroom. “Take your jacket off, then I need to ask you something.”

“Anything.” He pulls his jacket off, draping it over the chair in the corner. I sit on the bed and he sits down next to me.

“Why didn’t you ever come back to me? You knew where I was the whole time. I even went to the warehouse every day for a week straight when you were released, hoping you’d show up. I need to know before I can decide anything.”
I have to know why.

Payce turns sideways to face me. “I didn’t want to hurt you again like I already had, and I was scared to face you again. I didn’t know how to do it without fucking us both up, Brax.”

Damn, that was about as honest as you can get. I nod to him and smile. I like that answer, it’s simple, it’s sincere, and not full of control. In fact it shows he was scared then too.

“Is there anything else that I don’t know about, that I should? If we decide to give this a go, there can’t be anything, Payce. You told me to show you, and I’m trying, so if there’s anything now’s the time to come out with it.”

His head droops like I just busted him with his hand in the cookie jar. After a few seconds, he sits up straight again and takes a deep breath. “I knew that your manager Ash was the one living with Aaron, and I didn’t tell you. I wasn’t going to mess with him, I just need to get my hands on Aaron. I didn’t want you think I was going stalker on him, so I stretched it a little.”

“What were you going to do to Ash?” I lean back with my hands on the bed behind me.

“Follow him or ask him flat out, but I already settled that the other day.”

“What are you talking about, Payce?” This worries me.

“I went to the tavern a couple days ago, I knew you weren’t there. Sparky and I were talking and someone showed up for Ash. After a while, I went looking and found them in the back office. Ash had a bloody nose and swollen face. Aaron apparently showed up, they got into it out back for whatever reason, and he left.”

“What? Aaron showed up at my place? Are you kidding me?” I’m trying to stay calm.

“No, wish I was kidding, but he left. Ash was going to stay with Sparky for a while, but he gave me his address. I watched the place for two days, but no sign of him.”

“Payce, I don’t want you going after Aaron. Can’t you find someone else to do it?” I ask, hoping like hell he can.

“No, and I won’t, Brax. This is for a friend of mine, a friend he’s hurt in more than one way. I won’t do anything stupid though, I’m only escorting him to the nearest police station.”

“I understand, what about work?” I ask.

“What about it? I have employees and don’t need to stay on the site all day.” He plays with his goatee.

“I could go by there too, Payce, or when you’re stuck on the job site. I can have someone cover me for a while,” I offer to help. Aaron has done enough damage to everyone. Me and Payce, especially Payce, then his friend and now my manager.

Payce stands up and moves closer to me, towering over me. “No, if Aaron comes anywhere near you, I swear…”

I could get all stupid right now behind that comment, but that’s Payce. He jumps in always trying to protect someone. I don’t mind this part of him though, it’s when he makes decisions that directly involve my livelihood he’s got to learn.

“Sit down, bulldog, I understand.”
God damn he’s a scary looking fucker when he’s being protective. It’s freaking sexy as hell.
“Is there anything else or is everything out in the open now?”

He sits back down and his eyes roll up and too the right side. His mind is racing trying to make sure he’s covered everything. “Oh, I don’t bottom.”

I burst out laughing, that’s not the kind of thing I was talking about, but I’ll give him a big fat “A” for trying. “Hmm…not yet.” I raise an eyebrow.

He shakes his head side to side and grins. “Not yet? Um…what does that mean exactly?”

“That maybe one day you’ll feel comfortable enough to trust someone to go there.” I lick over my top lip.

“Someone, as in?” Payce scrunches up the side of his face.

I need to let him off the hook already, I’m just being mean now. “As in…me!” I give him a wink.

“Oh thank fuck.” He rumbles and falls back on the bed.

Chapter Seventeen

Payce

Brax leans back on the bed next to me, fuck it feels good to finally relax around him. I have nothing on my plate now that he doesn’t know about. Not even ex’s to explain about either, since this is technically my first whatever you call it, so to speak.
What do you call this?
It’s not a hook up and it’s something I want to be involved in.

Brax reaches over, putting his hand on my thigh and I moan. The feel of him touching me again brings me back to when I was nineteen years old, and I’m fucking nervous. I never have performance anxiety, so it better not even creep into this, at all.
Shit, I just need to breathe and calm down.

I put my hand on top of his, sliding back and forth between his fingers. His touch gets to me already. It’s a wonder I don’t stay in permanent boner mode when he’s around.
Damn, I fucking missed him, everything about him.
I just need to figure out if that is something I’m supposed to say to him. I’m used to jumping in and controlling the situation, words never matter much, but with Brax I don’t want that…yet.
This is creeping me out having all this emotional shit come into play.