Perfection #3 (2 page)

“Please, help me!” I heard her begging, her voice
weaker now. I didn’t yell back, I needed all my air for running. I ran into the
clearing on the path to find Lilly lying on the ground, her leg pinned awkwardly
under a log branch. Standing over her roaring like a hungry demon was a massive
brown bear with an open mouth. He rocked the log, enjoying playing with his
prey before he began his feast. Neither of them saw me. Lilly’s hands reached
around trying to grab a nearby branch. I knew that wouldn’t do her a bit of
good. One swipe from his paw and she would be dead. I held the gun up in the
air and fired a shot. The bear paused and stared at me but it didn’t give
ground. He leaned on the log with his front paws threatening to pounce on Lilly
who lay frozen on the ground. I knew we were in trouble. I fired another shot,
this time directly at the bear. Thankfully, I hit him; I saw the blood splatter
and the animal broke for an opening in the nearby woods. I shot after him once
more, just to encourage him to keep running. I didn’t know if the bear would
return but I did not plan on sticking around to find out.
 

I slid the pistol in the holster and squatted on the
ground next to Lilly. “Are you okay?” Her eyes, wide with fear, told me she
wasn’t. I unhooked her pants leg from the tree branch and helped her to her
feet. “Lilly, we have to get out of here. I can’t be sure he won’t come back.
Can you walk?”

She nodded and I helped her to her feet. I was so
relieved to see she was okay; I hugged her, forgetting all about being mad at
her. She didn’t return my hug but she didn’t me push away either. I took her
hand and led her down the path. “We have to move quickly but don’t run. If you
see something, you tell me, don’t scream. Do you hear me?” She nodded again, “He’s
injured now but I’m not sure that he’s dead. Stay close!” I whispered to her
and we walked quickly down the trail that would lead us to the cabin.

Something barreled through the trees about fifty
feet to our left but I couldn’t see anything. Lilly whimpered a cry and
squeezed my hand.
“I know, I hear it.
Keep moving,
Lilly.” We didn’t see anything else and thankfully, didn’t see hide
nor
hair of the bear after that. I could see the trailhead
just in front of us and was thankful when we finally made it back to the cabin.
Once we made it to the trailhead, I told her, “Let’s go!” We ran the rest of
the way to the cabin and barreled through the front door. I carried her to the
couch and covered her shaking body with a nearby blanket. Tears were in her
eyes and I rubbed her hands. “I want to check your ankle, just to make sure you
haven’t hurt yourself. May I do that?”

“Yes.” Lilly wiped away tears from her eyes and
pulled her pant leg up. I eased the tennis shoe off her foot. Carefully, I
turned her ankle to test her mobility. She winced a little but didn’t cry out.
“Does that hurt?”

“Just a little, I think I just sprained it.”

“You’ve got a nice bruise—I think an ice pack might
do the trick. I’ll be right back.” I went to the kitchen and filled a zippered
bag with crushed ice. Andre had left us a nice lunch in the fridge. I didn’t
know where Rafe and Eve were, probably good that they were out of sight right
now. I needed to call animal control and report the bear attack but I needed to
take care of Lilly first. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was in shock. An
eight-hundred pound bear just chased her through the woods.

I grabbed a bottle from the refrigerator and took
the ice pack to the living room. I propped Lilly’s foot up on the ottoman and
set the ice pack on her ankle. I cracked the water bottle open and handed it to
her. She shook her head. “Come on
now,
don’t give me a
hard time. Drink the water.” Obediently, Lilly took a swig from the bottle and
handed it back to me. “I’m going to call Animal Control and let them know about
the bear.
You going
to be okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine, Bullet. I just need a minute,” she
snapped. She didn’t look at me, just stared off into space. Despite what she
said, I knew she wasn’t okay but it looked like I would have to wait until she
was ready to talk to hear what was really going on in her head. I looked up the
number and called the authorities to let them know I had an injured bear on my
property. After confirming my address, they promised to come out immediately
and remove the animal.

That had been a shocking experience—kind of put
things in perspective. What would have happened if Lilly had been killed?
If I had been the reason for her death?
It was because of me
that she was in harm’s way; if I hadn’t acted like a jerk to begin with, we
would have been together and probably scared the thing away. Obviously the bear
had no qualms of attacking one person, one small,
blonde
.

I hung up the phone and watched Lilly in the living
room. She had not moved from her spot, had not fussed over the ice pack, and
didn’t say a word. She stared off into space, watching some film in her head. I
should probably take her home. I didn’t know what this girl’s past was like.
Did the bear attack trigger something? Should I be worried?

Don’t
be a selfish bastard! Think about someone besides yourself for a change.
You
know
what,
I was going to try to do that. I had
practically coerced the girl to come here and then she almost died. God knows
she deserves some kindness from me.
Okay,
you can do this, be comforting and kind. Don’t say stupid crap.

Chapter
Three

Lilly

For some reason, I kept thinking about my mother’s
funeral. She died a few weeks after Daddy and Suzanna. She’d lingered on in
that smelly hospital hooked up to that machine that did all the breathing for
her. Once the tubes and hoses were gone, she had left, slipping away quietly
into eternity with the rest of my family. At her funeral, her friend from work
had read a poem to us; it was supposed to comfort us, I suppose. It seemed like
a strange poem for the occasion. Something about the part of the poem that
went, “Soaring on the wind, above the world below…” It made me think of the
crash, how I had flown out of the open window and sailed through the air,
almost flying. My child’s body landed on the grass, feeling like I had been
smashed to the ground by an angry goblin.

You always hear people say, “It happened so fast
that I didn’t know what had happened.” Not me. It happened so slowly that I
remembered every second — the first spray of blood from my Dad’s face, the
twisting of the metal, the groaning of the car,
the
screams of my family. I remembered seeing the log truck spin in front of
us and thinking,
“Oh no!” I remembered the book I was
reading, the song my sister and I were singing.

I had walked away with skinned knees and a scrape on
my side. My family was all gone. I went to stay with Aunt Sadie when she died
too, during the first week of my college freshman year. Now there was no one.
Even Aunt Sadie’s crabby old cat was gone—I had tried to take him with me but
he died right after she did.

I don’t know why that poem came back to me now.

Bullet was sitting on the leather ottoman in front
of me, talking. What was he asking me? I couldn’t hear him because I was
reciting the poem in my head, “Soaring on the wind, above the world below, the
soul of my friend….” I hated that poem. Why would she choose that poem? I had
been only a kid but even I knew that wasn’t the thing to say at a funeral, to
the loved ones. I wanted to walk up to that podium and slap Mom’s friend and
scream at her. I wanted to say, “She not flying above the world! She’s dead and
in the cold, cold ground!” I imagined doing just that. Tears filled my eyes and
thankfully the image disappeared melting back into the painful past.

“Lilly! What the hell? Aren’t you listening to me?” Bullet
yelled at me, his chiseled face etched with concern and frustration. I yelled
back. “Yes! I hear you!” More calmly I said, “You don’t have to scream at me. I
hear you, I was just thinking about something.”

“You don’t have a scratch on you. What’s going on? I
can tell something isn’t right.”

I felt myself stare through him. I wanted to scream,
“I almost died! I should have died!” but I didn’t.

“Do you want me to take you to a hospital? Can I
call someone for you?”

“Who would you call? They’re all dead,” I heard myself
whisper. “But I’m not dead. I’m not dead again.” Guilt washed over me, and my
heart felt like it was being crushed like a beer can in my chest. On top of the
guilt was the flinching. I flinched at every pop of the fireplace, every
slamming door. Every loud noise played a crescendo on my nervous system, and
each time I caught my breath and felt my heart skip a beat. Bullet sat on the
couch next to me, holding me close. I didn’t respond at first; I wasn’t sure
what was happening. If he grabbed my breast or tried to kiss me I’d probably
scream, but he didn’t. He just held me. He smelled warm and comforting. I began
to cry. Not soft, delicate tears either—my sorrow came from the inner depths of
my heart. I wasn’t even thinking about the bear’s terrifying growl, the bear’s
stench, the stench of death. I wasn’t thinking about almost being eaten by a
wild animal. I was thinking of my sister’s cold dead hands that I grabbed when
I tried to wake her up.

When I couldn’t cry anymore, Bullet picked me up and
carried me upstairs. I sat on the edge of the bed while he undressed me and then
placed me in a tub of warm, soapy water. From a shelf he reached for a jar and
he sprinkled in a few spoons of scented bath salts, eucalyptus I think. It felt
like heaven. I began to breathe more calmly and I felt my peace return. He was
gone a few minutes but when he came back, he had two glasses of brandy. He
didn’t try to put the moves on me, thankfully. He just sat on the floor next to
the tub, sipping his drink.

“Feeling better now?” he asked, sipping his brandy.

“Yes, thank you. I’m sorry I fell apart like that.
Could you hand me a ponytail holder? There should be one on the dresser. I
don’t want to get my hair wet.” He brought me a
scrunchie
and I piled my wild blonde waves on top of my head.

“You look very fetching,” he joked with me.

“Thanks, I think.” I sipped my brandy.

“How about some more hot water?
Just a little to keep you comfortable.”
I nodded my
consent. Absently, I wondered about his other house guests. I hoped they stayed
out of the woods.

“Animal Control is coming to pick up that bear, if
they haven’t already arrived. We don’t normally have bears this close to the
cabins here. I’m sorry that happened to you and…I’m sorry I was such an ass
earlier.”

I leaned my head on my foamy knees and wrapped my
arms around them. I gazed at him. “It’s alright. I was the jerk. I should have
stayed here and left you alone.” I hoped he could hear me; I could barely
manage a whisper right now. I don’t know what happened to my voice. Did I lose
it screaming earlier?

“No, it was all me—all my fault. I am sorry.”

“Okay.”

“Lilly, are you sure that you feel okay? You don’t
seem like you do.”

“Have you ever faced death? I mean, has anyone you
ever loved died?”

Bullet winced at my question. “Um…yes I have
actually. Why do you ask?”

“Were you there when it happened? Could you have
stopped it?”

Bullet made a sort of laughing sound but it was
anything but funny. “Why would you ask me that? Is that any of your business?”

I pulled the plug on the tub. It was one of those
old fashioned kind with the bright silver chain. I liked it. So much nicer than
the tub I had in my tiny apartment. You know, maybe I should buy a house so I
could have one of these nice tubs. “I want to go home. Take me home,” I said
watching the water swirl down the tub drain.

“What about our deal? Are you reneging?” He faked
self-assurance; I could see through him now. This wasn’t about the boob job
anymore. It was about us. He liked me—he just didn’t know how to be a friend,
much less a boyfriend. I mean, mostly he didn’t know how to be a friend. The
warm bath had been a nice gesture. Still, I didn’t want to try anymore. I guess
almost getting eaten by a bear changes your perspective.

“Sure, whatever you want to call it. I’m done. I
don’t want any surgery. I just want to go home.” I
felt
tired, so tired that I could go to sleep in the bathtub — maybe it was the warm
bath and the brandy
. I drank the whole glass.

“Okay, whatever you want to do, Lilly but why don’t
you take a nap first. I’ll help you get dressed—no, I won’t try anything and
you can lie down. When you wake up, we will go wherever you want.”

“Promise?”
I didn’t trust him but I was very tired. The rawness of my emotions had calmed
down and I was exhausted.

“I do promise. Come on, let’s get you dried off.” As
he promised, he didn’t try anything, just dried off my body carefully and
searched my suitcase for some clothing. Finding the long, satin nightgown, he
slid it over my body. It felt good next to my skin. Bullet pulled back the
comforter and the sheet and stood aside so I could climb in the bed.