Perfection #3 (8 page)

She wiped a tear from her eye but the smile held in
place. “Thanks for being honest with me. That’s all I wanted to know.” She
stared into her petite hands, thinking about something, obviously.

“Now what about you?
I guess once you get back you will forget all about me or will you still go
through with your original plans?” Lilly couldn’t leave me hanging. I had to know
how she thought about us.

“My turn to be honest now?
I am not going to have the surgery. Spending this time with you was what I
needed to…well, feel sexy again. I guess although cosmetic surgery is right for
some, I don’t really need it—however, when I’m forty and things start to hang,
I might reconsider that decision. Or if I have kids someday.” I could hardly
contain myself. She was making the right decision—her body was flawless
already. “About you and I, that’s tougher. I know all about your past, well
some of it anyway. Enough to know you haven’t been living like a monk. I get
that. You are handsome, successful and goodness knows you are skilled at
lovemaking.” I grinned some more. “I guess if there were ever a Bullet and
Lilly type-relationship, I would make room for it but you would be like a
wrecking ball in my peaceful life. I’ve got my symphony friends, my sporting
club, Kate…adding a Bullet Steinmann would definitely change things. I don’t
know how I feel about that.”

“Oh, that’s pretty honest.” That was not the answer
I expected. I thought for sure she’d want to continue our association after our
time together was over. I wanted to but it sounded like she didn’t.
What the hell was that about?

“I’ve already dated someone a lot like you, Bullet.
Evan was gorgeous, smart, the top of his class and—unfortunately, he had a way
with the ladies. No one could tell him no, ever. I thought we were in a
monogamous relationship but it turns out I was wrong, completely wrong. I’m not
saying you are just like Evan but then again you might be. Do you think that
after all these years of being single you could be a one-woman man?”

I felt insulted at being compared to her punk-ass,
ex-boyfriend. I was a world-renowned surgeon with plenty of money and play
toys. How the hell could she compare me to a typical college guy who wanted to
score as much action as he could?
As far I knew, he wasn’t a
doctor.
Now I was being judged by his actions. That seemed totally
screwed up. “I don’t think we were talking about getting married, Lilly.” I
laughed angrily. I grabbed my backpack and left the tent. I felt played,
like
she played me on purpose. I offered her my honest
feelings and she spun it back on me. How was I anything like her college
sweetheart?
Well, screw her too!

“Wait! Where are you going? I thought you wanted
honesty?” She followed me out of the tent tucking her shirt into her jeans and
putting on her jacket.

“No, that was you, Lilly. I don’t give a damn about
being honest. How can you compare me to some college kid? I’m a damn doctor
with eight years of medical school and wall of awards. I’m not some horny
teenager.”

She put her hands up as if to say calm down. “Whoa!
That’s not what I said and that’s not what I meant. I just meant….” I waited
for an explanation but I got tired of her dithering.

What the hell? Let it roll off your back, Bullet.
She’s just another girl who got what she wanted. She probably did not even want
that surgery to begin with, she just wanted to use you, make a trophy out of
you. She probably gets some sick satisfaction at seeing you crawl after her. I
forced a fake grin on my face but I didn’t feel any of it. “You know what? It’s
okay. Let’s pack our stuff and head back to the cabin. I owe you a tour of the
town.” I stormed off to carry some items to the bottom, leaving her behind. I
hoped a bear ate her.

In a few minutes she showed up with a cooler and a
backpack. She was ready for a fight. “I don’t know what the hell you are mad
about. I didn’t lose it when you told me you weren’t sure you could fit me into
your ‘real’ world. So it’s okay for you to reject me but I can’t? You’ve got
one heck of an ego, Dr. Steinmann.” She threw the stuff on the boat and walked
back to the campsite. Okay, she had a point but I was still wounded. The drive
across the lake was quiet, we didn’t talk, despite the incredible sex we had.
Maybe it was only incredible for me. I tried not to think about her sweet
pinkness, her toned bottom and her golden skin.
Damn her, anyway.

We unloaded the items and both of us parted ways for
showers, packing and changing clothing. I figured we’d go to town, be back by
three and be back home by tonight. That was the plan. I couldn’t stay here
forever, despite what I might want. I was right, wasn’t I? Life had to
continue. How could I tell her that I had hookups, so much baggage to deal
with, I didn’t know how to fix it? How could I tell her that my clients expect
me to have sex with them, it’s like a perk they get when they use my services.
Yeah, that was too much honesty. She’d never understand that. I could see her
walking away in the middle of that conversation. Miss Goody Two-Shoes would
never understand that.

I blasted the hot water and tried my best to wash
away all traces of Lilly Brightwood from my body and my brain. Once I got back
home, this was going to be it. No more Lilly for me. I was cutting her off cold
turkey. Better I do it than her, right?

Chapter
Eleven

Lilly

Bullet Steinmann was a heartache waiting to happen
and I did not want it to happen to me. The problem was it was too late. Despite
all of my self-talk and pretended caution, I had a soft spot for the sexy doctor.
I had made my case to him, explaining to him how he would not fit into my world,
just
like
he tried to tell me I would not fit in his.
Boy,
did that tick him off! I was pretty sure Bullet did not
know what he wanted — me or something else, or maybe someone else. There was no
telling if Bullet was already seeing someone or several
someones
.
I got the feeling that he was confused about me and as flattering as that was,
I did not want to be with an uncertain man. I wanted whoever I hooked up with
to know they wanted to be with me.

Bullet made it sound as if he would have to change
his entire life just to accommodate my presence. That was so unflattering, so
cruel of him to say. What did he mean by that? That if his friends saw me they
would think he would be settling for something less than what he could have?
Did that mean that he thought
he
was
settling? I guess this weekend and the few extra days were really nothing more
than a sexy escape from reality for him.
Well
screw him!
I did my best to think about things while I got dressed. I
purposefully turned my thoughts to school, symphony and life after Bullet. I
did have one of those, right? I heard him tapping on my door and walked over to
answer it. I cracked it; I was still in my underwear but I did not want him to
come in. No way was I letting that sex machine in here with me right now even
though I secretly wished he would step right in.

“Almost ready?”

“Yes, I am. Give me fifteen minutes.”

“I will meet you downstairs in the kitchen. Bring
your bags with you. We will drive to the airport after we leave town.”

Was I supposed to cry about that? “I’ll be there.” I
closed the door and scrambled around for my clothing. I wore the same sheath
dress that I wore here; it made me feel pretty. Anyways, I felt like dressing
up—it was always a morale booster. I wanted him to know what he would be
missing. I slid my feet into my mules and checked the bathroom for any items I
may have left behind. True to my word, fifteen minutes later I was standing in
the kitchen with Bullet, listening to him call his housekeeper. It was official
— we were leaving. I put my game face on and pretended to be happy about it.

As Bullet stuffed the bags in the trunk, I gave one
last look at the cabin. It had been a nice getaway spot; I envied this little
place. Maybe I should look into getting a home, if my orchestra position falls
through. I still didn’t know but as I was about to graduate, I needed to figure
that out. It was nice to have so much room and be able to enjoy amenities like
a fireplace and a spacious kitchen. Those were things I would miss and I didn’t
even know it.
At least until now.

We drove the short distance to the ferry. I rolled
down my window and enjoyed the country air for a little while. Right on time,
the ferry docked, and we waited for the boat to be secured then drove onto the
deck. There was one other car; I recognized the couple from the campsite but
they didn’t attempt to socialize. They hung out in their car, windows steamy,
music playing. I felt a little jealous but the distance between Bullet and I
might as well have been a mile wide. I couldn’t believe that we had shared so
much in such a short amount of time. I also couldn’t believe we were leaving
like strangers.

“Want to stand on the deck? We can get a better view
from there. I know it’s a short trip from here to the opposite shore but I like
the open water.” He put the keys in his pocket, always so careful about the
details.

“Sounds great.”
I followed him to the railing and we watched the cabin get smaller. I had mixed
feelings about this weekend but I had to admit right now I was just plain sad.
“I hope your extended stay didn’t inconvenience your clients.”

He leaned against the railing his sunglasses in his hand.
I had a thing for crisp white shirts and he looked gorgeous in the one he was
wearing. The startling white set off his tanned skin, dark hair and playful
blue eyes.
Oh girl—stop day dreaming!
It’s over, remember?

“Not at all.
It was my pleasure. I am sure Page isn’t happy with me but as I remind her
frequently, she works for me. It’s not the other way around.”

“Oh, I see. Do you have personnel problems often?”
What I really wanted to ask was,
“Did you
sleep with her too?”
Of course, I was too much of a lady to ask that
question.

“Not really, but she likes continuity. She’s been
with me right from the beginning, well almost.” After a few minutes of not
speaking, I spotted the approaching shore. I began to feel anxious about
leaving. Would he forget all about me?
Probably but what could
I do about it?
Fall at his feet and beg him not to leave me? Hell no! I
wasn’t the begging type. We strolled back to the car and waited for the ferry
to dock. Bullet paid the toll and we drove onto the highway headed to Blue
Lake.

“Ready to see other people?”
I looked puzzled at his question. “I mean the people in the town.”

I couldn’t do anything but smile. “Sure and I want
to see these two stop lights you told me about. Do you mind if I play some
music?”

“I don’t mind at all. That’ll be nice. No classical
though.”

“Rats. How did you know?” I smiled up at him
pretending to be happy. There was no sense in arguing with him or trying to
explain what I meant. I had bruised his ego, now he needed time to repair it.
Hmm…
I guess I knew more about men than I thought.
“So, no classical.
How about classic
rock?”
I flipped through the channels searching for a classic rock
station.

“That would be great although you might have better
luck if you put it on satellite. These local stations play nothing but country.
I like the occasional country ballad, but not for more than a
few minutes.”
I tuned in to Kansas playing “Dust in the Wind.” It was a
beautiful tune and I loved the soaring violin solo in the middle. This passage
plucked at my soul. I closed my eyes, just like the song said, and listened to
the music.
When the song ended, I turn the volume down a
little and tried my best to start a conversation with Bullet.

“So I think you told me you didn’t come to town
much? Is there a reason why? Are the good people of Blue Lake unfriendly?” That
was as good of a conversation opener as I could think of.

“I have been into town probably six times, mostly to
get supplies for the cabin, a few times just to socialize. They have a
convenient pub, which serves great chicken wings. I’ve been there a couple of
times but as far as really getting to know anyone, I haven’t done that. Not
like community leaders or shop owners or anything like that, anyway.”

I could totally interpret what he was saying. He did
not go to town very much but when he did, it was to a local bar where he did
meet a few people that he did not want to tell me
about
.
I laughed to myself.

“Did I say something funny?” His bruised ego was
still bouncing up and down on his brain. I quickly offered up a little white
lie to avoid telling him what I was really thinking.
So much
for the honesty pledge.
I figured we had both already broken that. “With
just two stop lights, I guess there aren’t many people to get to know in the
first place.” That was weak but that was all I had.

Bullet agreed with me. “Yeah, compared to Des Moines
and Kansas City, Blue Lake is just a dot on the map. It is kind of wholesome
though. I think you’ll like it.”