Authors: Claire Adams
“I’ll either be downstairs or in my room when you
wake up. Come find me, alright?” He stroked my hair. I had taken it down and
now it was a mess. He pushed it behind my shoulder, closed the blinds and left
the room. After he closed the door, it only took a few seconds to fall asleep.
Chapter
Four
Bullet
True to their word, the local animal control came
quickly and found the animal dead. The representative warned me about killing
bears but said since the carcass was found on my land, I wouldn’t face any
charges. I sneered at the guy and promised him next time I faced a bear, I
would let my friend die. I wasn’t in the mood to be censured, especially by
some pimple-faced teenager who thought more about animals than he did people.
His boss overhead the conversation and said, “We understand that
this was a dangerous animal.
No one is blaming you for defending
yourself or your friend. I took the liberty of doing some tracking.”
“Yes?” I asked the older woman, ignoring her
assistant.
“I didn’t see any other tracks and male bears, this
one was a male, don’t usually travel with other bears so you should be alright.
If you see anything else, please call us. We will be happy to help you.”
“Thanks.” I watched them load the massive animal on
the back of a truck with a wench. He was big, bigger than any I had seen around
here. The animal was a frightening sight, even dead. Rafe and Eve were packing;
I asked them to leave, making an excuse about the bear. Rafe seemed unafraid
but Eve didn’t waste any time. I apologized for cutting his vacation a little
short but I wanted Lilly to myself. I hoped we could repair whatever we might
have had. It would be better if they were gone I figured. Rafe seemed
unoffended by me asking so that was good. We weren’t really “best buds” or
anything like that. Truthfully, I barely knew the guy. We just shared some of
the same interests, or at least we had.
“You really like this one, huh?” Rafe asked as he
loaded up the trunk with their bags. Eve was already in the car.
I thought about his question for a moment. “I guess
I do.”
“I can tell. Well, have fun. Eve and I will go stay
in town and see what mischief we can get into. For what it’s worth, I really
like Eve too.” He laughed heartily and I smiled. I was pretty sure we were
talking about two different types of “likes.” Who knows? Maybe the petite,
plain Eve could keep Rafe interested. I guess only time would tell. I waved at
them as they drove away. The sun was beginning to set over the lake. Where had
the day gone? I hurriedly went back inside. I had promised Lilly that I would
be either in the living room or in my room.
I went up to her room and listened at her door. I
didn’t hear her stirring and I didn’t want to wake her up. She had been in
shock earlier, I knew that, but I suspected that there was more to that story.
I hoped she would tell me. I had called Andre that afternoon and cancelled his
services. We’d only be here one more day and I was pretty sure I could manage
the cooking. I wondered if Lilly could take off an extra couple of days.
I sat on the leather couch, staring into the fire. I
relived the past morning, regretting so many things, but thankful that I got a
shot at that bear before he killed Lilly. It was weird wanting to protect
someone so badly. I mean, I would have protected anyone facing a bear attack
but I wanted her to live, even if it meant dying
myself
.
I was not okay with that. I was not accustomed to warm and fuzzy feelings. I
was accustomed to thinking about “
numero
uno
,” just me. Lilly made me feel differently about
everything.
Don’t get me wrong, even now, right now, I would be
happy to make love to her. I thought about her body, her sweet face with those
tiny dimples around her lips. I could have lost her today. Thankfully, I had my
pistol. I didn’t always, but thankfully I did today. I tapped my lip with my
finger, thinking about what that loss would have felt like. I had lost enough,
hadn’t I?
“Bullet?
Are you okay?” It was Lilly, still wearing her black silk nightgown and her
robe.
“Hey, come on over here.” I pulled the blanket off
the back of the couch and held it out to her. “They left, I asked them to go.”
She accepted the plush, white blanket and sat at the other end of the couch,
nowhere near me.
“Oh, I hope I didn’t interrupt your plans.” She
sounded raw, hurt and angry.
I sighed.
This
wasn’t going to be easy. I could see that.
“No, you didn’t interrupt
anything. I just thought it would be nice to be alone.”
“That’s what I thought when I told you I would come,
before I knew about your ‘friends.” Lilly looked tired; her golden hair was
unbrushed
making her look even sexier. It was hard to
believe that just yesterday she and I were making love in the shower.
“Yeah, I should have told you.” What else could I
say? What did she want from me?
“Yeah, you should have.” She leaned her head against
the couch and gazed at me. “You promised me that you would take me home. Did
you mean it?”
“Do you really want to go home?
Now
that we are alone?”
I hoped she would say no.
“Yes, I want to go home. I think I have had enough
excitement for one weekend, Bullet. Is it too late to catch the ferry?”
I looked at the clock, it was almost seven. “Yes,
actually it is too late for the ferry today. Sorry about that. Tomorrow is
Sunday and it only runs once, at 3 o’clock. It looks like you are stuck with me
tonight.”
It was her turn to sigh.
“Alright.”
“Are you hungry? You haven’t eaten anything today
that I know of. I can go make us something. Do you feel like putting another
log on the fire?”
With her blanket wrapped around her, she walked to
the fireplace and pushed her hair behind her shoulder. I left her to stoke the
fire while I went in search of food. Andre had left us some gumbo and cold
shrimp salad. I heated the gumbo up and scooped us both a big bowl and placed
it on a tray. I loaded it with other goodies, including some of the salad and
walked into the living room. No sense in eating formally, the coffee table would
do.
“Soup’s on. I hope you don’t mind leftovers. We’ve
got more gumbo. Do you want something to drink?
Some wine,
water?”
“Do you have any soda?”
“Yeah, hold on a second.” I scurried into the
kitchen and grabbed two cans of soda. She was eating when I got back—that was a
good sign. I knew that much from medical school. I popped the tops and passed
her a drink.
“Thanks, this is delicious. Andre is a great cook.
Does he cook a lot for you on these…trips?”
I took a swig and dug my spoon in my bowl. “I don’t
know what kind of idea you have about me. I don’t get to take off very often. I
work sometimes sixty hours a week. Andre is my personal chef. He cooks for me a
few times a week at home. I flew him out here for this weekend.”
“Oh. Well, thanks for that.” She pushed her gumbo
around a little and nibbled on a cracker.
“Do you want to talk about it? You know, it’s normal
to feel some extreme emotions, especially when you’ve been in your situation.”
She wiped her pretty mouth with the linen napkin.
“What situation is that?”
I rubbed my forehead with my hand, trying not to
feel impatient. I was trying, why couldn’t she?
“I know what it feels like to face death. I know
what it feels like to lose someone you love.”
Lilly froze, her dark green eyes filling with tears.
“Really?
What happened?”
I threw my napkin on the coffee table.
Man, was I going to talk about this?
I
looked at Lilly’s desperate face.
Yeah, I
guess I was.
“Remember when you asked me about my family? Well, I
wasn’t completely honest.” I felt my face warm. “Yeah, I know. No surprise,
right?” I walked over to the fireplace and pulled the screen back and poked the
fire. “My brother Slate just left to college, he had gone ahead of us a few
days. He had tryouts for the athletics department that he couldn’t miss. We
drove up, just the three of us, my father, his wife and me. Dad was tired so I
offered to drive. It was rainy, the roads were slick and it just happened. The
SUV hit a puddle of water and I lost control of the wheel. We flipped a few times.
Dad was killed right away but my stepmother was okay, although she blames me
for what happened. I think my brother does too, although he’s too polite to say
it to my face. My sister, well, she loves me no matter what I do.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Lilly sat next to
me, her hand reaching for mine. I tried not to be aroused by her touch but it
was a losing battle.
“I knew some CPR and I tried to save him but I
couldn’t. He had too much trauma to his chest, bleeding internally; it wasn’t
apparent. He was tired and sleeping in the back seat.” I could see the scene
again. I shook myself. “I knew then I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to help
people. But it wasn’t until I discovered that I had a knack for surgery that I
decided to get into cosmetic surgery. You know, people think it is all breast
jobs and face lifts but there is more to it than that.”
She gave me a little smile and squeezed my hand. She
toyed with the matchbox with her other hand. I don’t think she was nervous,
merely thoughtful.
“I have been a basket case today. I apologize for
that. I know that this is not what you had in mind, but it wasn’t anything I
planned either. I try not to think about my past, I don’t like thinking about
it. After the accident, the one I was in, my doctor diagnosed me with Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder. I took medication for a few months but over time, I
learned how to deal with it. When that happened today, when the bear was on top
of me, all I could think was, ‘Now I’m going to die and I deserve it.’ I kind
of wanted to—I know that sounds crazy. I feel crazy!” She gathered her
beautiful hair in her hands and twisted it over her left shoulder. “I did not
die the first time but they did. Now it was my turn. You know, like they say, Death
comes for us all.”
“Lilly, you are young and beautiful and talented.
You have so much to live for—I know it hurts but you can’t think like that. You
have to keep on going, find a way to cope. Don’t go looking for death, Lilly.
It will come eventually.” I felt stupid offering advice knowing what a pig I
had been to her. Thankfully, she didn’t make fun of me. “I did not kill my
father, it was an accident. These things just happen.”
The flames reflected off her hair and her golden
skin. She was beautiful, even if she had been crying. Quietly, I asked her,
“What happened to you? Do you want to talk about it?”
Lilly’s green eyes softened and she gave me a
spontaneous kiss on my lips.
How do I
respond to this? What did she want me do?
I did the opposite of what I
wanted
.
I wanted to scoop her up and
smother her in kisses, ravish her again in front of the fire but I didn’t. This
moment was more important than that.
“Thank you for telling me the truth. I know that
took a lot to open up like that.” I ignored the desires of my body and smiled
at her. I was in unchartered territory but I liked it, in a weird sort of way.
Chapter
Five
Lilly
I woke up with a cramp in my shoulder but with a
happy heart. Bullet and I had talked into the night and finally passed out on
the couch together. At some point, he must’ve pulled the thick white throw over
our bodies because the fire was long gone and it was cold in the cabin.
Immediately I knew that I felt better today than I had yesterday. I could think
clearly and didn’t feel those raw emotions lingering under my skin. I sat up
carefully to avoid waking him. He was handsome, awake or asleep. I loved his
square jaw and his full lips. He was not girly pretty — Bullet was all man.
While I stared I saw him smile a little.
“Like what you see?” He teased me in a soft voice.
“Sadly, yes.” Bullet pretended to look offended and
I tapped his arm playfully. He reached for my hand and pulled me to him. There
I was, my body stretched over him, Bullet’s obvious desire between us.
“I cannot pretend that I don’t want you, Lilly.
Don’t you want me too? I mean we did spend the night together, right?”
I didn’t answer him. Instead I kissed him slowly,
showing him exactly how I felt. If we were going to make love, it was going to
be on my terms, my way. Bullet’s hands gently stroked my arms and rubbed the
satin nightgown excitedly. I did not make him wait for long. I sat up on my
knees slightly and pulled my nightgown up. Without being asked, Bullet slid
down his pants.
“Oh Lilly.
You are so beautiful.” His
hands eased my straps down so he could feel my breasts. I knew that he loved
them; I mean he told me that more than once. I felt desirable and sexy and
totally in control. I put my hands in his and leaned forward pinning him to the
couch. My hips eased up and down slowly; I enjoyed watching the pleasure on his
face. I could tell he wanted to use his hands but I whispered to him, “No! Let
me do this!”