Perfection #3 (5 page)

“So truth… Here is a question for you. Who was the
first girl you ever kissed? And it can’t be a relative.”

“That’s easy. Bailey Parker — we were in the third
grade. I kissed her right on the lips during our school’s Christmas program. I
caused quite the scandal.” The memory of Bailey in her snowflake costume
brought a smile to my face. I had not thought of her in years.
“So what about you?”
I wondered
who
Lilly’s first kiss came from. With her natural openness and sexual enthusiasm I
had no illusions that I was her first anything. I did not hold that against
her. I had never been the kind of guy that liked dating inexperienced women. Lilly
was not a floozy by any stretch of the imagination; I could tell she was
basically a good girl.

She wiggled her finger at me. “No, no doctor. No
cheating. You have to ask me, ‘Truth or Dare?”

I felt a little aggravated. Why couldn’t we just talk
instead of playing a silly game? Well, it made her happy so I guess that was
what mattered. I really hoped I would get to see her naked body a few more
times during her stay with me.
“Truth or dare?”

“Truth!”

“Who was your first?” By her facial expression I
could tell I picked the wrong question. Damn! She wanted honesty — she should
be prepared to give it too.

“My first was Evan. We dated for two years.”

I thought about that for a minute. I wanted to ask
her a few more questions about this Evan but she wanted to play this game.
“Your turn.
Ask me.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare!” The conversation was getting too heavy, too
quickly and we needed to change the subject.
Time for some
fun.

“Oh wow! I wasn’t prepared for a dare. Let me
think.” She tapped her little finger on her bottom lip to show me she was
thinking. “I dare you to tell me you love me.”

I froze.
What?
How was I supposed to respond to that?
Lilly gave me an expectant look — I
had to respond. Did I love her? Was that what she wanted to hear? Was this some
sort of test? I swore to be honest but what was I supposed to say? I wasn’t
sure myself how I felt, much less ready to declare my love for her. I had not
done that since…well. I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know. I frowned at her.
“That’s more like a truth question, not a dare. Do you really want to hear me
say, ‘I love you’ on a dare?”

Lilly turned and walked ahead of me, then spun
around with a smile.
“Just testing you.
No, I wouldn’t
want that at all. I’ve got another dare you can do…”

“Nope, I’m not an aficionado at this game but I am
pretty sure you can’t just propose another dare. It’s my turn. You forfeited
yours.” I ignored her pouty lips.
“Truth or dare.”
Please say dare.
She did! “I dare you to
show me those perfect breasts.”

She pretended to look shocked but she carefully
rolled up her shirt and gave me a nice long look. Her golden-hued skin
practically glistened in the sun. “Perfect!” I told her.

She eased her shirt down and looked at me from
lowered lashes. “You really think they are perfect?”

“Oh yes, in every way. As I told you before, they
are the perfect shape. It’s hard to find those beautiful breasts without
surgery.” Spontaneously, she kissed me and held my hand. I didn’t pull away. We
walked along in silence for a while. I was glad the game was over. That could
have been awkward. Did I love her? Well, I knew for sure I loved things about
her, like the shape of her round bottom and of course her gravity-defying
breasts, but what else? I loved to hear her laugh. I loved that she was playful
and not sexually afraid. Some women hate trying anything new. Despite her
inexperience, I mean, I assumed she was inexperienced, she was curious. I liked
that she was intelligent and that she played music. But actually loving her? The
idea seemed strange to me.

I dealt in black and white; what I could see, feel
and touch. Love was an intangible. Not a constant thing. I was not a big fan of
that. So far for me, love had been merely an idea. Not to say I hadn’t given it
a try — I did once and it didn’t work out. Why put myself through that again?
It seemed like needless punishment and I was not into pain, at least as far as
I knew.

“I was thinking that it might be fun to go camping.
You know get back to nature at least for a night before we go back to
civilization.
An open fire, maybe some fishing.
What
do you say?”

“What do I say? Are you kidding me? What if I can’t
run as fast as I did the last time? I mean I’m glad you rescued me there at the
end but it was pretty intense right until I fell over the log. I thought I was
going to die — now you want to go camping?”

“I understand your apprehension but don’t you think
you should get back out there? The animal control person checked the area and
there were no more bears. They say that one was a rogue – he shouldn’t have
been here. Besides I’m talking about camping on the other side of the lake.
It’s a popular spot and we probably would not be the only campers.” She didn’t
look convinced but she didn’t argue with me either. She crossed her arms and
walked alongside me, looking at the lake and the scenery. I had no idea what
she was thinking; Lilly played things close to the vest sometimes. Other times
I knew exactly what she was thinking. I loved the outdoors and I wanted to
share this beautiful place with her. And if we ended up having sex, that was
even better.

“Are you sure? I mean your cabin seems perfect. You
really want to go camping in the woods?”

I took her hand and kissed her softly. “Yes I really
want to go but I don’t want to force you to go. I tell you what, let’s try it
and if you don’t like it we will get back in the boat and come back to this
side of the lake. I will make you trek all the way around the lake to go to the
campsite. I’ll teach you how to fish. Haven’t you ever wanted to learn
or
do you already know how?”

“I have never fished a day in my life. I will go but
you better bring plenty of bullets—and I mean for the gun. I am pretty sure I
can only handle just one of you.”

“Now there’s a fantasy.
One of you
and many of me.
Let’s play that game again. What’s it called?
Truth or dare?”
She pretended to punch my shoulder but then
threw her arms around my neck and kissed me. Her warm lips tasted like peaches
— must have been her lip gloss. I liked it. I liked her. Then that question
popped up again in my mind.

But
do you love her?

Chapter
Seven

Lilly

Here I was and I couldn’t believe it.
Not two days after being chased by a bear I was loading gear onto a
boat with a near stranger and headed back out into the wilderness.
There
must seriously be something wrong with me. Am I so needy that I would put
myself in danger just to be close to him? Quite possibly, because here I sat
feeling mad at the world but mostly myself.

Last night had been nice. We had spent a quiet
evening at the cabin talking about our favorite books, music and movies. It was
nice just to be myself and get to know the good doctor. I had been kind of
forward with him that morning but by the time evening rolled around I was tired
and not feeling as frisky as he probably wanted. After my near-death
experience, I didn’t give a hoot about “keeping him interested” or what it
would mean if I didn’t. He had just about convinced me not to go through with
the surgery and I had mentioned that once, but still mulled it over. I stopped
hanging out around nine telling him I had to study. It was the truth but I
didn’t spend much time studying; I spent several hours texting Kate. My
dark-haired friend found herself in yet another Riley drama and wanted to call
it quits. I had to give it to her — when she went all in, she went all in.

What was really weird was the email that I received
sometime late last night. It was a short message from Evan. It was as if he
knew I had been talking about him earlier that day. And in his email, which I
almost deleted without opening, he apologized for making “the biggest mistake
of his life.” He wanted to know if there was some way he could make it up to
me.
Lilly, I miss our friendship. I let
you down in a big way. If you could think of any way, any way at all that I
could make it up to you please tell me. I am not the same man you knew.

After rummaging through the pantry and the
refrigerator Bullet and I decided that a trip into town wasn’t necessary for
our camping date so we loaded up the goods we had and walked to the boat. I
didn’t even try to be chipper. The sun had not yet made an appearance and it
was far too early to be excited about sleeping in the woods. Trying to cheer me
up, he promised me a trip into town once we returned. I look forward to it. I
was definitely a city girl, although I seriously doubted if downtown Blue Lake
was much more than a few stoplights and shops. If I felt like being honest with
myself I was probably feeling crabby because of the email. Why in the world would
this guy email me now? Everything had ended so badly yet through his major —
and I do mean major screw up — I ended up with a great friend. At least he had
good taste in women.

A few minutes into our trip, fingers of color
appeared on the distant horizon. The sun emerged quickly casting its glorious
light over the lake.
What is wrong with
you, Lily? Just look at him.
Bullet stood behind the wheel of the boat. His
dark hair fluttered in the breeze. I could not see where his eyes were focused
since he wore dark shades but he shared his brilliant white grin with me. Bullet
Steinmann was a thing of beauty; an imperfect womanizer who I wanted to save,
just like Evan. I saw how well that worked out the last time.

“Just a few minutes away now. You can see the camp
right from here. I see one other boat but that’s it.” Bullet seemed as excited
as a kid about to walk into a candy
store
. I guess he
really enjoyed camping — I hoped he could change my perspective. I liked
playing outdoors but not sleeping outdoors. Who knew that I would be camping
this weekend? I sure didn’t.

In just a few minutes we had pulled up to the dock
and secured the boat. The other campers were leaving, just weekenders who
happened to be passing through the area. The four of us chatted and we waved
goodbye to our new friends and began to unload our goods. Rather than take the
spot they had previously used, Bullet wanted to camp out in the adjoining
campsite. I saw a small restroom facility and a fire pit — both of which made
me a little happier.

“Let’s put the supplies here by the picnic table.
I’ll get the tent set up; while you wander around and gather some wood. Don’t
go off into the woods, just stick to the campsite.”
Oh don’t you worry about that!
With a halfhearted smile I set off
to gather wood for the fire; apparently we were going to need quite a bit of
it. If we stayed all night, and that was a big if, we would need a good stack
of wood to keep the fire going. Bullet moved quickly, much quicker than I did.
After a few loads, I decided it was time for some coffee. I dug into the bag
for the thermos, pouring myself a steaming cup of Java. It smelled like heaven!

“You quitting on me already?”
He stowed the sleeping bags inside the tent and stuffed the food in the
coolers.

“Nope, just taking a coffee break.
I think I’m awake now. So what is on the agenda for today?” I tried to sound
happy but I knew it just ended up flat.

“I thought we would go fishing, you said you had
never been. It’s time to learn, don’t you think? Bring your coffee and follow
me. We’ll fish from the dock. I’m pretty sure there are no bears there.”

I tossed down the last sip of my coffee and screwed
the lid back on the thermos. “What is that supposed to mean?” Was he insinuating
that I was afraid? Didn’t I have reason to be?

“Is something bothering you? I mean, you have not
been yourself since you woke up this morning. I don’t know what the problem is
but it would be nice if you were a little happier. How is that for honesty?”

“The only thing that is bothering me is being in the
woods. You said a cabin — not a tent. And if I recall correctly, you never
mentioned wildlife that might eat me.”
God,
I sounded bitchy. What was wrong with me?

Bullet stood with his hands on his hips. He looked
as pissed as I felt. “I’m going fishing. If you want to come, you know where I
will be.” I watched him walk away and I flopped down at the picnic table and
put my head in my hands. I knew what this turmoil was really all
about
. It was about me. I had to leave the past behind and
reach for the future. I could not afford to continue to grieve over what I had
with Evan. That was over. He was not who I wanted. I wanted the guy I was with
and he wasn’t much better. Man, I needed my head examined. I looked at my
watch. Bullet had been gone at least 20 minutes and wasn’t coming back
. Oh my goodness! What if he left me here? If
I want to be with him so bad, why am I here and not with him?
That was a
good question. I swallowed my pride and walked toward the pier. Bullet was
there, his back towards me. I walked as quietly as I could – I didn’t want to
scare the fish, if that was a real thing. I saw that on a movie once. About at
the halfway mark, Bullet cocked back the rod and a hook caught me. I screamed
in surprise and stared at the back of my hand — there was a hook close digging
into me. Immediately Bullet got up and ran to me. I was thankful he didn’t
snatch the fishing pole and rip the hook out of my hand.