Perfectly Imperfect (Perfectly #1) (8 page)

“I know I can’t claim you. I’d love to, you know that, but I’ll take you any way you let me. You still didn’t answer my question. Why were you crying? I don’t want to see you hurting. I promised I wouldn’t let you break anymore.” He says with genuine concern.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m just overwhelmed. I’m not used to this. I’m not used to hooking up with the same person over and over again. Let alone become friends with him. It’s new to me, and it brings about different emotions I don’t know how to process. I’m broken, remember.”

“You aren’t broken. You are wholly beautiful. What if we don’t sleep with anyone else while we do? Like exclusive friends with benefits?” He seems nervous asking this.

He probably thinks I’ll freak and kick him out. Normally that’s what I’d do. Instead I turn over to face him, his eyes wide with fear, but I just smile and say, “Sure. But nothing more than that, okay?” At this moment I have no idea why I agree to this. Maybe because I was jealous seeing him with someone else, or maybe because somewhere deep inside I don’t want anyone else.

“Scouts honor. I’ll take you however you let me have you.” And I know I should never agree to this, the lines are blurring to that point of no return. I know this can only end badly, probably me hurting him in an attempt to save myself, but I can’t help but want him to myself.
Call me selfish, I don’t care.

I wake up with kisses tickling the skin on my inner thighs. The sun still hasn’t risen, but I have no idea what time it is. I shift not fully aware of what’s going on. Suddenly, I feel hot breath blowing on my core. My eyes spring open
, and I see the top of Grayson’s head between my legs. His lips are on me and his tongue is licking my sweet spot passionately. He is licking, kissing, sucking all around. It doesn’t take long before I begin moving my hips with his movements.

“God, Grayson. I can’t. Please. Oh my God!” I moan incoherently. My hands move to his hair, my fingers tangling into his tousled hair, keeping him in place. He continues to move his tongue all around me. He peeks up from under his lashes catching my eyes. Seeing the passion laced in them is my undoing. I lean back on the bed, buck my hips, and lose myself in my orgasm, moaning and breathing heavily.

When I’m done, he comes up on the bed and lays down next to me, hugging me to him. I feel his hardness on my lower back, and I’m instantly ready for round two. “That’s what I call a wake-up call.” I half joke because it really was the best kind of wake-up.

“I figured you might enjoy that. Plus I’ve been awake watching you and figured it was time to bring you out of your deep sleep. I guess you aren’t as sound a sleeper as you thought.”

“Guess not.” I agree. I roll over and grab his hardness between my hands. He gasps at the contact and lies down with his eyes closed.

I move down, the sheets draping around my waist, and I take him in my mouth. Licking his tip and then going deep down, sucking and running my tongue along his length, pumping him until I know he is ready.

I stop and straddle him, pushing him inside me, and I begin to move over him. I love the feeling of control.

Grayson grips my hips moving with me perfectly. Before long, I feel my climax rising and enveloping me completely. I place my hands on his chest for support, my hair draping around my face. He moves his hand to put my hair behind my ears and pulls my head down with force bringing my lips to his.

I let go and enjoy the waves that come crashing with my orgasm. Grayson thrusts into me one last time and finds his release a few seconds later. We lie on my bed and drift back to sleep.

After we wake up and have some coffee, Grayson leaves and I text Steph to grab lunch. I’m dying to know if anything happened between her and Kyle last night, and I need to talk to her about Grayson. Today is one of those days I could use Steph, PsyD persona. We meet at Lotus Brewery, our usual lunch spot. They have great food and a wide assortment of beers that I love.

“Hey! How did the rest of your night go?” I question her.

Steph just looks at me confused. “You seem happier today. Anything happen to change that?” She raises a questioning eyebrow, and I can’t help but laugh. I’m nervous to talk to her. That’s a first. I can talk to Steph about anything, but then again I am about to confess that I might have feelings for a guy.

“Yes, but first I want to know if Kyle finally made his move!” 

Steph rolls her eyes. “If you must know, he kissed me and we have a date tonight.”

“Finally!” I exclaim. “It’s about damn time. You two have wanted this for so long and neither would dare to make a move. I’m so happy it is finally happening!” I am genuinely happy for them. “You need to tell me all about it tomorrow.”

“I will.” She says. “Now spill about last night. I know your excitement and huge ass smile aren’t just for Kyle and my date.”

I breathe in deeply and begin to retell last weekend’s adventure. “It was great, Steph. Honestly, I felt so free having someone by my side. Does that make sense? I thought it would feel just the opposite. When he began telling me about his upbringing, I knew I wanted to tell him all about me. I felt like I owed him an explanation as to why I am the way I am, and I
wanted
to tell him. I’ve wanted to since I first met him. The thought that he’d be perfect if I wasn’t so screwed up caught me a little off guard when it first popped into my head, but it’s true. I don’t know what is going on, but I am scared and excited.” I continue telling her about last night, dancing together, the tall blonde, and him showing up in my apartment, and our monogamous fucking. Steph is just quiet listening.

“I know there’s something more, you don’t have to tell me, but I don’t want to hurt him. I can’t hurt him. We both know running is what I do best, but when I got jealous last night and he proposed not hooking up with anyone else, I just said yes without thinking it over. I don’t regret it, which is even stranger. Can you please say something? I’ve been blabbing
, and you haven’t even said some smartass remark or no ‘I-told-you-so’ comments.” I let out a deep breath and release the tension off my shoulders.

“I knew you left last night for a reason. I don’t have anything to say, Mia. You know what you’re feeling. You can choose to follow it and see what happens or run again, like you always do. I know it’s what you’re used to, but it hasn’t really worked out too great for you, has it? You aren’t like your parents. You’ve learned from their mistakes in order to do things differently. Just take it day by day and see how things work. Follow
your heart a little more and listen to your head a little less.”

I nod at her and continue eating, processing her words and my emotions. We hang out a little while talking about random things before we head out. I wish her luck on her date. “I expect a call the next morning unless you’re still busy with Kyle.” I wink
, and Steph rolls her eyes.

“You’ll be the first I call.”

Chapter 7

I haven’t heard from Steph since Saturday afternoon. I really do hope their date went well, but she’s getting some major questioning at work when I arrive. I get ready and head out the door following my usual routine; jump on the Max and grab coffee before walking into my building.

I go straight into Steph’s office. “Good morning. Too busy to call your best friend and spill about your date?” I tease.

“Hey. Maybe a little busy, but not with what you’re thinking. We didn’t sleep together. We talked about where this relationship could go. We’ve been friends for a while and don’t want to screw that up. We’re taking it slow, but I think we’ll be okay.”

“Steph, who are you kidding. You guys will be more than okay. I know you’re both friends, but only because you’ve been afraid to make it more than that in case it didn’t work. I know it will.” I reassure her.

“Look at you giving dating advice. I’ll have to thank Grayson for your positive outlook.” She laughs.

I roll my eyes and shrug it off. “Whatever, Steph. I’ve always thought that. I can be positive about other people’s relationships. I gotta go though. Naomi told me Toni wants to see me.”

I continue to Toni’s office and find her sitting behind her desk typing on her laptop. “Hey Toni. Naomi said you wanted to see me?"

“Good morning, Mia. Yes. I’ve got some exciting news! Nika Svatova has granted us an interview. We are putting her on the cover of next month’s issue. I want you to interview her and write the article. This is a big one, Mia. We’re talking cover material. I know you can do this. I need you on your a-game.”

“Seriously?! Toni this is amazing! Thank you!” I am excited beyond words. Nika is a Russian actress who has made it huge in Hollywood. I’ll be interviewing her about her career change and life in the United States as a superstar.

“When is the interview?” I ask Toni.

“Wednesday morning at 9:00am. I need you here early.”

“Absolutely!” I leave her office on a high. I’m interviewing Nika Svatova for the cover of
Rave
for our summer issue.
Holy crap!
This is big.

I am so excited. I grab my phone and text Grayson with the news. I tell him about the interview and my ideas. My mind is swirling. I need to prepare right away. I write the article I have been working on and send it to the editor. Then, I emerge myself in research about the movies Nika has starred in while living in Russia leading her to Hollywood and her growing fame. She’s a favorite here. Not only is she beautiful; she’s tall, blonde with big brown eyes, and a perfect body, but from other interviews I’ve read, she’s very down to earth. She hasn’t let fame or living in the United States get to her. 

I spend the next couple of days prepping for this interview and keeping a low profile about it. The last thing I want is for people around the office to be talking about my interview skills and doubting me like they did for Alexandre Campbell’s interview. I know I’ve got to get in depth in this interview.

Wednesday morning I get to work at 7:30am, no need for a wake-up call from Steph. I am ready for this interview. Nika arrives an hour later with her entourage. By the amount of people who travel with her to these interviews and photo shoots, you’d think she’s some stuck up unsatisfied superstar. Truth is, she is humble and the sweetest girl I’ve met. She has a no bullshit attitude, but I would too in her field. She greets me with a hug and a kiss on each cheek. I am thrown off by her openness, but she’s so sweet I can’t help but hug her back. We talk before the interview, going over how it will flow.

We begin the interview, and I ask her about life in Russia and growing up as an actress in her country. What it was like to leave her home to move to a country like the United States and all the craziness that surrounds Hollywood. We also discuss the difference between acting in Russian films versus American ones. She’s charming and answers all the questions truthfully. She has a wonderful sense of humor that is relayed in her responses.

Nika explains how her first year here was a challenge, but nothing a positive mind and good sense of humor couldn’t deal with. We finish the interview with a hug, and she heads to take her photos for the cover and article.

Around lunchtime, my phone rings. It’s Grayson. “Hey, Sweet Pea. How did the interview go?”

“Awesome! Nika is such a sweetheart. We clicked, and she gave an amazing interview. The story is going to be great!” I can’t hide my enthusiasm as I tell Grayson the details of the interview.

“I’m so proud of you. Listen, there’s a music festival this weekend on the coast, Promenade Music Festival. It’s a combination of rock bands and a few country artists will be there, too. I was thinking we could go if you’d want to. We can tell Steph and Kyle, too. There are a few bands you like performing. I know you don’t like country, but I thought that the rock would pull you in.” He says nervously. I have to laugh at his attempt.

“That sounds like fun, Grayson. I’ll let Steph know, and she can ask Kyle. I love music festivals, and it will be nice to get outta here for a couple of days. You can listen to your country music while I jump around the different rock bands and find the ones I love.” I laugh.

“Sounds like a plan. Let me know what they say. We can head out early Saturday morning and spend the night out there. Call me and let me know, Sweet Pea, and congrats on the interview. I really am happy for you. I know what this means to you.”

“Thanks, Grayson. I’ll call you back as soon as I talk to Steph.” I head out of my office to find Steph.

“Hey. I just got off the phone with Grayson, and he was telling me about going to Promenade Music Festival this weekend on the coast. He asked if you and Kyle would be interested in going. I know you two are taking things slow, but it doesn’t mean we can’t all hang out like friends. It’s apparently rock bands and a few country stars coming out for it. You know Grayson and his country music. Typical southern boy.” I say shaking my head. 

Steph laughs and says, “That actually sounds like fun. I could use a weekend getaway. Would we stay the night? I would need to ask Kyle if he could get off work on Saturday.”

“Yeah, we would leave early Saturday and come back Sunday. Ask him and let me know.” I say and head back to my office to go over the interview material from this morning.

Ten minutes later Steph appears at my door with her phone to her ear. “Kyle wants to know if he could wear cowboy boots for the concert. He’s thinking of rocking a pair.”

I laugh and roll my eyes. “Whatever turns you on, Steph.”

“You’re the one dating the cowboy,” she responds teasing me.

“Not dating,” I correct her.

“Whatever, tomato, tomahto,” and she leaves. I assume that’s a yes and pick up my phone to call Grayson.

“Hey, Sweet Pea. Did you talk to Steph?”

“Yeah, they’re in. Just give us the details. Do you need help finding a hotel?”

“I got it covered. Don’t worry. Just be ready on Saturday at 7:00am to head out. We’ll meet at my place. Sound good?”

“Yeah. I’ll pass on the instructions. You must be really excited to see your fellow southerners since you’ve got it all planned out.” I tease.

“What I’m excited about is seeing you out by the ocean in tiny shorts.” I roll my eyes as he laughs, and we hang up. I need to focus on this interview, especially if I’m going to be busy on the weekend. I know it is for next month’s issue, but we’ll need to edit and go over it. This is a more important article than I’ve done before and need it to be perfect.

Between working on the interview and the enthusiastic energy surrounding our weekend getaway, the week has flown by. We’ve made plans to meet at Grayson’s house on Saturday morning to leave to the coast. It isn’t a far drive, and we want to arrive before the traffic hits. Promenade is a huge music festival
and people will be driving from all directions to get there. By Friday, Steph and I can’t contain our excitement as we leave work. We decide to head to the mall to find something to wear. I know the festival is on the coast, but not sure how close to the beach. The weather has warmed up, as summer as strolled in, and it would be nice to get a tan. We finish up at the mall and grab some dinner before heading home. I fall asleep peacefully dreaming of oceans, sunrays, and strong arms wrapped around my waist.

The drive to the coast doesn’t take long, and we spend it talking, joking, laughing and listening to music. Grayson is wearing camouflage shorts, a black tee that accentuates his muscles, sneakers, and a backwards cap that makes him look younger. I opted for torn jean shorts, a white tank with a peace sign, and my converse. I put on a teal bikini underneath my clothes.

The beach is busy with people roaming around, tailgating, and socializing with strangers. We see friends hugging, people meeting, and barbecues burning. It’s the perfect day to be outdoors. The warm air breezes around us, swirling the saltiness of the ocean and a light mist. The sun shines brightly overhead, and we’re captivated by the energy around us. We begin to hop around the festival. It’s just after 9:00am, but we grab some beers and head over to one of the stages to see the lineup. There are a few stages set up where different bands will be performing. We find the ones we’re most interested in so we don’t miss those performances and relax on the sand while we wait.

Grayson and Kyle throw a football
back and forth, and Steph and I sit back on our blanket. “You know he really likes you.” She states just as Grayson looks at me and smiles for the hundredth time today.

“Steph, I just want to relax and have fun today. I don’t want to have to think about relationships or what this means.” I say laying back on my e
lbows and looking up at the sky with my eyes closed.

“Fair enough, but have you
thought about our conversation? Just go with it and the feelings that come to you. Don’t fight it if you’re feeling something more than friendship. I know he wants to be with you, and if you do too, go for it. He’s a good guy.” I smile at her acknowledging her words as the boys sit down.

“Hey girls, want to walk around and see what else is going on around us?” Kyle asks as he places his arm around Steph’s shoulder, smiling like a little boy on his birthday. I laugh at his gesture and wink at Steph.

“Why don’t you two go check out the place and let us know if there’s anything interesting so we don’t lose our spot.” I tell them.

“Sounds good. We’ll be back soon.”

“Don’t rush.” Grayson says. I look at him confused and see that devilish smile creep into his lips. He looks so free here, dressed casually and the sun beaming down on him brightening his eyes. He leans in and kisses me, his arms traveling down my body. I give in to his touch, moaning softly against his lips, getting caught up in him.

When I realize it’s getting deeper than an innocent kiss, I say,
“Grayson, stop.” I hit his arms away slightly embarrassed that we’re out on a beach with hundreds of people around us.

“Relax, Mia. It was just a kiss. Plus, I can’t wait to see you in that bikini later. The hotel has a Jacuzzi,” he adds with a wink.

“We’ll see how you behave.” I say laughing.

The concerts begin, and we walk around hand in hand listening to the different groups. We stop at one of the stages where one of my favorite bands is playing. They sound awesome, but the atmosphere that surrounds them is greater. It’s so different seeing them in a laid back environment out in the open air. After a few songs, Grayson leads us to another stage where one of the country performers is singing. He pulls me into him, holding me in place and begins to sway to the music.

“This is Jake Newman. He’s actually from a small city near my hometown. He used to play at the local bars before he made it big in Nashville. He’s one of my favorites. I met him a couple of times back then. Cool guy.”

“He sounds good.” Country isn’t my thing, but his music is pretty good. It doesn’t sound like your typical country song, or maybe that’s just the stereotype of country music where you expect banjos playing and slapping your knee to the beat.

We begin to dance to the next song. It has a slower beat, and we just move together. Grayson’s eyes are closed and his forehead leans against mine. I take in his features; strong jaw, the light stubble I love, his straight nose, and his long lashes. He opens his eyes, and his stare is intense. We’re lost in each other’s eyes, forgetting the world around us, just dancing together and speaking magnitudes without our words. I’ve been so busy looking at him that I haven’t been paying attention to the song playing. I listen closely to the chorus.

I bumped into you,

And you helped me through.

Because of you

I have strength.

Because of you

I am free.

I believe in me.

That song couldn’t be truer for me if it was written by me. Grayson and I don’t break our eye contact until I pull him in and kiss him softly. I know I’m scared of what could happen between us, but I know he has helped me see a different side of the world and myself. He has allowed me to trust in someone again, free myself from the ghosts of my past.

Moving with him, my head on his chest and his arms holding me tightly, protecting me, I feel the walls around my heart begin to crumble, and the ice cold in my heart melt. I feel whole when I’m with him.