Perfectly Imperfect (Perfectly #1) (7 page)

“Are you up to walk a little more?” Grayson asks as we reach the end of the trail. “The sandwich shop is near here and we can just walk over.”

“Sure,” I respond. I can’t help as my heart tightens when he smiles so carefree. I’m happy I told him about my parents and my fear. I know that in any other circumstance, or life, Grayson would be the perfect guy for me, but truth is I can’t hurt him. I care about him too much. It scares me at times.

We reach the sandwich shop, and I immediately understand why Grayson loves coming here. It’s less of a shop and more of a permanent food truck with a log cabin design. It is overlooking a valley with a river flowing through it. We grab our order and sit at one of the picnic tables. “This place is amazing.” I say in awe.

“Yeah, it is, but the company is better.” Grayson smiles. “Thanks for opening up today. You didn’t have to. I don’t want you to feel you had to say something because I went off about my mother.”

“Grayson, if I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t have said anything. You’re my friend. I know I can trust you. I don’t talk about it often, but I wanted to share it with you.” I smile reassuringly.

We continue to talk about our favorite hobbies, movies, and music and eat peacefully. Being with Grayson is easy and comforting, yet he brings out a whole new set of emotions that scare me and excite me. He challenges me and I take him up on his challenges. I know we can only be friends though. That’s the only way I know I won’t hurt him.

Chapter 6

After a restful and extraordinary weekend, I am back at work ready to tackle on anything Toni wants to throw my way. Ever since I began writing for
Rave
my passion towards my career has escalated. I love coming into work, and I don’t even care if I skip lunch most days because I am so wrapped up in my writing.

As I’m working on my latest project, I can’t help but think back to my weekend with Grayson. I don’t like to be taken care of, but when I saw him in my apartment Friday night with medicine and making sure I had everything I needed, it tugged at my heart a little bit. The fact that someone actually cared if I was okay or not meant so much more than he would ever know.

Then the hike we went on and him opening up about his upbringing and his mom made me realize that I also want to take care of him. I trust him. I don’t trust easily, or ever really. However, all these thoughts have me running around like a chicken without a head. I can’t grasp what it means or even how to begin processing them. He is obviously hurt by how his mom dealt with him and his brother. I know myself. I could be just as distant and hurtful, especially with everything that happened with Chase in college. It took a lot for me to recoup from that. Distancing myself is something I’ve been doing my whole life, and I don’t want to see the pain in his eyes when he spoke about his upbringing connected to something I did.

So I do what I do best; I run. Realizing that in another life Grayson would be the perfect guy for me scares the shit out of me, so I decide the best way to deal with this is ignoring him.

Throughout the week he texts and calls, but I don’t respond. Later I’ll blame it on work, wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been caught up with my job. Come Friday I decide Steph and I need to head over to
Luxe
like the good old days, and spend some girl time. She’s a bit hesitant at first knowing things with Grayson and I have begun to blur, and she knows what girls night entails. But it didn’t take much to convince her, and we make plans.

I head home to shower and get ready before heading out. I carefully do my make up, accentuating my blue eyes with the perfect
combination of eye shadow and eyeliner. I have taken the time to blow dry and straighten my hair and put on black skinny jeans and a flowing pink tank top. I put on black pumps and touch up my lip gloss.

Luxe
is beginning to get crowded when we arrive. We order drinks and make our way to the dance floor. Kyle isn’t working today, so we didn’t get a chance to say hi to our favorite bartender.

It feels so freeing being here with Steph without worrying about Grayson being here and having to spend time with him. I just want to relax and unwind with my best friend. “Thanks for coming out!” I yell at Steph over the music.

“Anytime! It’s been a while.” She says smiling, and we keep dancing.

I am on my third martini dancing rather flirtatiously with my beau for the night. He’s undeniably hot.
He has the bad boy look, with tattoos on his arms and his ears pierced. He can definitely dance; my mind wanders to the first night I danced with Grayson. They move in a similar fashion. I close my eyes and enjoy the provocative moves of his hips and his curious hands.

Hmm
, this could be an interesting night if they move the same way outside the dance floor, too. I idly wonder what Grayson’s doing tonight.

Steph is somewhere on the dance floor dancing with Kyle. Apparently he showed up on his day off. My suspicions are he knew we’d be here and he’d finally have time with Steph away from the bar, not that he couldn’t ask her out on a date.

I finally open my eyes, my arms wrapped loosely around tonight’s guy’s neck, and lock eyes with a pair of beautiful deep, ocean blue-green eyes a little ways behind my dance partner. I freeze momentarily. Wasn’t I just thinking about what Grayson was up to tonight? I look to his right, and he has his arm around some leggy blonde’s waist. She’s whispering in his ear, her hand on his chest possessively, but his eyes are on me. Those eyes I love so much and have learned to interpret without words. They’re dark like a midsummer thunderstorm. As I regain my composure, I continue to dance with…Noah? I think he said his name was Noah.

Seeing Grayson here, and with some tall blonde wrapped around him, has sparked something deep within. What is this feeling? I push it
aside and begin dancing more passionately, rubbing close to Noah’s body and wrapping my arms around him. I know I’m making this a competition and proving I don’t need him if he doesn’t need me.

Noah
moans lightly in my ear, probably thinking we are getting ready to get out of here. I lose sense of what Grayson and Ms. Too Tall Blonde are doing and lose myself to the music and this hard body moving with me.

I suddenly feel someone jerk my elbow, and I’m spun around with strong arms holding me in place. I stare into Grayson’s glare. He looks angry. I’m breathless from dancing and the emotions coursing through my body. He grabs my waist firmly and begins to move in perfect rhythm with me. Did I compare Noah’s dancing to Grayson’s a few minutes ago? Damn, I was wrong. He moves so much better. “Having fun?” He asks me, bitterness in his tone. He gives me a gorgeous southern smile, trying to hide what he’s feeling, but I know better.

“Yes,” I breathe looking sheepishly at him. “Where’s your blonde?” I ask, mirroring his bitterness. I’m not the only one enjoying myself with someone else.

“Bathroom. And she’s not
my
blonde, but you’ve been ignoring my calls and texts. I now see why.” He states pointedly.

“Well, she sure seemed to have a hold of you with her hand possessively on your chest, and I’ve been busy with work.” I can’t believe he’s just come between Noah and I to reproach what I have or have not been doing.

“Are you jealous?” He asks raising an eyebrow. I see a ghost of a smile playing on his lips, and I shake my head in disbelief. Does he really think I’d be jealous? We’re not together. We only have sex, and we aren’t exclusive.

“No!” I snap; my response harsh. He seems hurt almost by my bluntness. “Plus, you’re the one who pulled me away from my dance partner
, ruining my chances. Maybe you’re jealous.” I challenge him with raised eyebrows but they waver as my eyes tear in frustration. I take a deep breath to compose myself.

“Always. Seeing you with anyone else makes me crazy.” He grabs my ass, kisses me quickly with desire, and walks away letting me go softly. I’m left with my mouth dropped open, gaping at him with astonishment
, and wet with desire. Before I can compose myself and register his comment, he’s gone into the crowd of people. I feel like he’s laughing at me, and now I’m sure my chances of taking Noah home are shot.

I look for Steph but can’t find her. She must be dancing with Kyle still. I head for the bathroom. I need some time to get myself together.
Shit, Mia, be strong!

As I’m entering the bathroom, I run into someone. “Sorry,” I murmur. I really should watch where I’m walking. I glance up apologetically and am met with Grayson’s blonde. She’s staring at me annoyed. She looks like a bitch, but then again I might be biased.

“Watch where you’re walking,” she snarls at me and stalk outs of the bathroom. Yup, definitely a bitch. What does he see in her? Maybe it’s her long legs and slim body. Is he just going to fuck her tonight and that’s it, or will it escalate to more? I can’t see him with someone like that. I suddenly feel possessive. Even if it’s just sex, I don’t see what he sees in her. And why do I care? I was just dancing with Noah, planning on taking him home. Is Grayson right? Am I jealous?

I go into the stall and place my head in my hands. Ever since I’ve met him my emotions have spiraled. I’ve never shown emotions, never worn them on my sleeve. He bewilders me. I’m not comfortable with being so vulnerable to someone. I am independent, strong, and confident. But for some reason, he brings out other emotions I haven’t felt in a long time; emotions I’ve hidden deep in my subconscious to never rehash.

I get myself together, walk out of the bathroom and head for the bar. Sure enough, Steph and Kyle are ordering drinks. They should just hook up already. They look so comfortable together, it’s so easy for them, yet they’re both blind.

“Hey! Are you okay? I saw that hottie you were dancing with. Where did he go?” Steph asks.

“I don’t know, I lost him when I went to the bathroom.” I say trying to sound confident, but all I want to do is go home and curl into a ball.

“Oh, that’s not like you. Are you sure you’re okay?” Steph asks concern written on her face. She can read me better than anyone, so I put on a smile and wave it off.

“Yeah, just tired. Must be from being sick last week. I think I’m going to call it a night. You okay staying alone?”

“Sure. I’m here with Kyle. He’ll take me home. Is that okay, Kyle?” She asks him, knowing the answer.

“Of course!” He says excitedly. Good maybe he’ll make his move tonight.

“Perfect. Thanks, Steph. Sorry!” I give her a quick hug and see the concern in her eyes deepen. It’s not like me to just up and leave so briskly without a guy on my arm. “Bye Kyle.” Add mood swings to the list of emotions that have surfaced since I met Grayson.

I turn and leave. I have no idea where Grayson is with his blonde or if he’s left already. I grab a cab outside and head for home. I feel resigned to these emotions and tears begin to roll down my cheek. I never cry!
What the fuck!
Anger rises in me at myself for feeling this way.

Once at home
I kick off my heels, lie on the couch, and turn on the TV flipping through channels aimlessly and let the tears fall from my eyes, again. I don’t know how long I’ve been crying, but a soft knock on my door startles me and brings me back to the now. It’s probably Steph checking up on me.

I open the door in disbelief at the person standing there. “What are you doing here?” I am suddenly aware that my eyes are most probably red and swollen. Great. On top of everything he has to see that I have feelings. 

He pushes me against the wall, his eyes flicking from anger to fiery passion, from blue to deep sea green to a hint of gray. He grabs my leg wrapping it around his hip and pushes into me, feeling him through my skintight jeans. He kisses me passionately. Then he moves his mouth down my jaw to my neck, kissing, licking, breathing into me. I feel chills rise throughout my body. He continues to work his way down my neck to my collarbone. I inhale sharply and groan at his moving tongue. I feel him smile on my skin. He knows how much I enjoy this and is teasing me relentlessly.

He strips off my shirt and cups my breast pleasing me with his fingers rubbing and twirling them over my nipples. He returns his mouth to my ear, nibbling and blowing into it. He whispers, “You’re mine,” possessively and I moan into him. God, he knows how to work magic with his mouth and hands. He continues his teasing
, driving me crazy. I am more than ready for him, and from the feeling of him pushed against me he is ready, too. I strip off his shirt and run my hands over his amazingly sculpted body. He is perfectly built, like an underwear model for Calvin Klein, the muscles on his arms defined, his abs ripple over his body, solid and hard. I try to strip off his jeans and he pulls my hands back. “Hmmm, what’s the rush?”

I find his lips again and press them firmly to mine. My tongue slips into his mouth and dances effortlessly with his. He lets out a low moan, and I know he is enjoying this as much as me. I smile and continue to kiss him with more heat. Letting him know how badly I want him. I slide my arms up his body and around his neck. I lightly play with the back of his hair; pulling and tugging some lose strands of his perfectly messy hair.

He unzips my jeans; passion and lust laced together, and pulls them down along with my underwear. His hands travel down my body, finding my sweet spot and playing with it until my legs are threatening to give in. I need him now. I fumble with his belt buckle and jean button. I finally get them loose and drop his pants and boxers briefs to the floor. We are skin to skin. My lips find his again, kissing him with need.

He lifts me up and I wrap my legs around his waist, my back against the wall. He enters me slowly and begins moving possessively inside me, claiming me as his. He isn’t gentle like other times. This is rough, urgent, like if it was the last time. He takes one of my nipples in his mouth, and I arch my back into him. I lose all sense of my surrounding. All I am aware of is Grayson and the pleasure building within me. When I can’t take it anymore, I lose myself, tightening my walls around him and clenching my fists on his shoulders, screaming out his name as I have the biggest orgasm of my life. A few seconds later he groans my name in my ear, and he lets go finding his release. I keep my legs wrapped around him for a few minutes until we both calm down and he carefully eases out of me.

He leads the way to my bedroom and we lie down, my back to his chest. He pulls me in and says, “You were crying when I arrived. Why?” I stay where I am to avoid eye contact and just shrug my shoulders. “Tell me. Was it because of me? I was angry as hell seeing you dancing with some other guy that wasn’t me. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I’m sorry.”

“Yet you were with some tall blonde. It doesn’t work that way, Grayson. We fuck, that’s it. You can’t get angry when you see me with someone else. You can’t come over and claim me like some Neanderthal.” My breath grows heavy with emotions again, and I am finding it hard to keep myself in check. Tears threaten to fall, and I take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I refuse to let him see how much he affects me.