Phoenix (18 page)

When I finish playing Phoenix comes and wraps me in his arms, carrying me
upstairs to bed. We undress one another, and when we are naked we slip under
the sheets. He holds my chest to his chest, our hearts beating in time. Neither
of us ventures to initiate sex, but somehow just lying here holding one another
feels more intimate.

When I sleep it is to dream of a future that looks bright.

Over the next few
days Phoenix is busy with a big order at his shop. I get my first sighting of
Maxwell since the day he and Mum showed up at my cottage. As I’m unchaining my
bike outside the school to cycle home I spy him standing by the gates sporting
a badly bruised jaw. I take it this is the result of Phoenix’s punch.

I ride out and stop a couple of feet away from him, reminding myself of
my metamorphosis, the shedding of my exoskeleton of fear. I need to break him
down into his composite parts in order to see that he is nothing to be afraid
of. He is nothing but a sad little man who hates himself so much he feels the
need to spread that hate to others. I focus on his pudgy face, his thin,
balding hair and realise how ridiculous I was to have bowed to him for so long.

“What are you still doing here?” I ask, holding my chin high and eyeing
him coldly.

He laughs, stubbing out his smoke with the toe of his shoe. When he looks
directly at me his gaze narrows. “You think your shit doesn’t stink these days,
huh? I heard you called up Charlotte.”

“So you’ll also have heard that I know your little story about Dad was a
lie. You need to go home, Max. There’s nothing here for you and you aren’t
getting any of Harriet’s money. She’d be turning in her grave to think you’d
gotten even a penny of it.”

“You’ll give me what I want, Eve,” he seethes. “Otherwise I’ll just have
to go to the police and tell them how your boyfriend beat me up.”

There is a hint of desperation to his words and it makes me wonder why he’s
so eager for this money.

“He punched you. It’s hardly cause for prison time.”

“I’ll make sure I’m black and blue before I go to them,” he grins with
malice.

“You wouldn’t dare,” I whisper.

He raises his hands in innocence. “Hey, it’s your choice. Give me the
money I asked for and I won’t do a thing.”

The word
never
is on the tip of my tongue, but I hold it back. If
I tell Maxwell he’s not getting the money he’ll put his plan to have Phoenix
arrested in motion right away. I need to be smarter than that.

“Fine,” I grit out. “I’ll need a couple of days to get the cash. You’re
staying at the B&B in town, aren’t you?”

A pleased gleam comes into his eyes. “That’s right.”

“I’ll contact you there when I have it, then.”

Now he full-on grins, rubbing his grubby palms together. “I knew you’d
see sense, Evie.”

I wince at the name the members of my family call me. I hate it, hate
hearing it.

Without another look in his direction I hop back onto the saddle and
cycle away. My head is in a scramble, trying to figure out how I might get rid
of him. I can’t give him the money. The very thought of him getting what he
wants makes me feel like vomiting. No, there must be another way. There has to
be.

When I get home I pace back and forth in the living room, wracking my
brain for ideas. Jeffrey scratches at the window, so I let him in and give him
a bowl of milk and some leftover chicken. There’s a knock at the door and I
rush to answer it. I find Phoenix standing on the step, freshly showered after
a day of work; I can tell because his hair is still a little damp.

When we sit down at the kitchen table with some tea, I recount my meeting
with Maxwell for him. His mouth is set tight the entire time, a muscle in his
jaw constantly twitching. When I tell him about Maxwell threatening to have
himself beaten up and then pretend to the police that Phoenix did it, he looks
just about ready to explode.

“He won’t have to fake it. I am going to break every bone in his pathetic
body,” he shoves up from the table, the chair making a loud scrape against the
wooden floor.

He strides out of the room and into the hallway to the front door. I
chase after him, grabbing him by the elbow.

“Phoenix, you can’t go after him with all guns blazing. We have to take
time to consider what to do. Being impulsive will only make things worse.”

I search his eyes, a pleading look in my own. Some of the tension goes
out of him as his shoulders relax. Without warning he pulls me to him, burying
his face in my hair and breathing my scent in deep. He kisses me on either
temple and draws away.

“I need some time alone,” he says then, his voice almost inaudible.

“Why?”

“I…I have to meditate. I’m feeling too edgy and if I don’t find some calm
I won’t be able to keep away from your brother.”

“Find some calm in me,” I whisper seductively.

He gives me an agonised look that says he really wants to but can’t. I
pull away, giving him a soft kiss on the mouth and nodding in understanding.

“Alright, let me know if you need anything,” I tell him, squeezing his
hand. “I love you.”

“I love you too, my darling. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

And with that he leaves, making me feel lonely in the empty cottage.

The next morning Margaret drops by with a couple of jars of her homemade
jam. She asks me if I’d mind helping her out at the Easter festival, where she’s
going to be running a stand selling all of her homemade produce. Ever since she
retired it’s become a hobby of hers and now she does various events in the
nearby villages. I tell her I’d love to since I’d already planned on going and
we walk into town together.

When I reach the school I notice my mother’s car parked by the side of
the road opposite the gates. Both she and Maxwell are sitting in the two front
seats, their attention trained on me. I know what this is. This is a show to
say they’re watching me. They want to make sure I’m going to hand over the
money like I said I would and not do a runner again like the last time.

During my lunch break I leave the school and walk to the bank in town.
They are both still sitting in the car. My mother starts up the engine and they
follow me. Maxwell gets out of the car and walks into the bank behind me. He
sits down on a chair by a stand of financial brochures, eyeing my every
movement. I walk up to the counter and begin talking to the clerk about options
for various savings accounts. Maxwell is too far away to hear what I’m saying,
but I make it look like I’m organising to have money transferred. I fill out a
form for a savings account, chat some more with the clerk and then leave.

As I’m walking back towards the school I step inside a deli and order a
sandwich to go. I jump when my brother’s voice asks from behind me, “So it’s
all taken care of, is it?”

“Yes. Harriet’s money is tied up in bank accounts. It will take three days
for the cash to come through,” I lie. “So it should be there by Monday.”

The deli assistant hands me my sandwich and I pay her.

“I’ll be at the B&B when you have it.”

I nod and make a move to walk away. Maxwell stops me when he grabs my
arm, squeezing tight. “If you try anything, Eve, I really will put you in that
shallow grave this time,” he hisses.

“Move your hand,” I order him in a hard voice.

He laughs cruelly and lets go, then saunters back outside. I have to go
and stand in the corner of the deli for a minute to catch my breath, a panic
attack coming on. I have no clue what I’m doing, no clue what I’m going to do
in three days’ time.

But I will figure something out, even if it means not sleeping for the
next couple of nights.

When I make it back to the school I check my timetable and find with
relief that I have a free period. I definitely need some time to relax after
interacting with Maxwell. I can’t wait for this week to be over and for the
Easter break to begin. I’ll have a whole fortnight to myself. Hopefully, I will
have gotten rid of Mum and Max by then and will be able to enjoy my time off.

In the staffroom there are a couple of other teachers with free periods
hanging around, drinking coffee and reading newspapers. There’s a small kitchen
area with cupboards, a kettle and a microwave over by the corner. As I’m making
my way over to pop the kettle on I stop in my tracks, because Phoenix is
standing by one of the cupboards, using tools to take it apart.

His back is to me, so he doesn’t notice I’m here yet. The muscles in his
shoulders move beneath his tight T-shirt, his combats hugging his bottom
perfectly. I’m overtly aware of the fact that we haven’t had sex in a couple of
days and an ache spreads through my belly. If we were alone I would sneak up
behind him, slip my arms around his waist and kiss his neck. However, there are
too many teachers around, including two female ones who I know to be gossipy. I
don’t want them spreading rumours about how I molested the local carpenter
right in front of them.

Taking in a deep breath, I walk to the kettle and flick it on, trying not
to look at Phoenix because even that makes me feel like I’m drowning with need.
Having him inside of me right now would be the perfect relief to the panic
attack I had in the deli. Tendrils of anxiety still cling to me. When we make
love I forget every single worry I’ve ever had.

At the small clicking sound Phoenix’s head turns slightly and he catches
sight of me out of the corner of his eye. The sides of his mouth curl in a
smile.

“Hey,” he says, voice low, eyes soaking me up.

“Hey. What are you doing here?” I reply quietly, taking my sandwich out
of the packaging and putting it on a plate.

“The caretaker called me in to fix this door,” he answers, gesturing to
the rickety cupboard with the door half hanging off. “It’ll be a quick job. I
should be done within the hour.”

“Right,” I say, my breath leaving me in a heavy stream.

Phoenix lifts his gaze to me when he hears it; he knows what it means,
knows what I’m thinking about. He’s holding a screwdriver in his hand and his
grip on it tightens. I stand there awkwardly waiting for the kettle to finish
boiling and Phoenix returns his attention to the cupboard. Once I have my tea
made I go over to the lounge area and sit down to eat. All the while I’m having
my sandwich I can’t take my eyes off Phoenix. He’s just so bloody sexy when he
works, the way his hands move gives me tingles all over.

I think he can feel me watching him because every once in a while he’ll
pause what he’s doing, let his head drop, almost turn to look at me but then
gather himself and return to his work. I want him to look at me. I wish the
other teachers would leave so that I can have his lips on mine, even for a
moment. It will get me through the rest of the day, just that small bit of
contact.

One of the two female teachers in the room giggles and whispers in the
ear of her friend while gesturing at Phoenix. I don’t have to be a mind reader
to know what they’re whispering about. Knowing I have his heart, that he loves
me and no one else makes me feel warm inside. These women can ogle him all they
like, because I know that he belongs to me. I can feel it when our eyes meet.

The air in the room seems to get hotter and hotter, the tension between
me and Phoenix rising to an unbearable level. We have hardly made eye contact,
yet I know I am on his mind just as much as he is on mine.

I finish my lunch and go to rinse my cup and plate in the sink, before
drying and putting them away. Phoenix hammers at the cupboard, giving me just a
brief grin and a flick of his dark eyes. He returns to his work and I decide
that I’ll just have to wait until this evening to have some time alone with
him.

I pick up my handbag and leave the staffroom. Walking down the empty
corridor, I hear footsteps behind me. Before I get the chance to turn around
and see who it is, a strong arm wraps itself around my middle and pulls me into
a small storage closet. It’s dark in here and I can smell Phoenix’s soap, can
feel his hard body pressing into mine.

“What are you doing?!” I whisper in panic, fearing somebody might have
seen us.

“I need a moment with you,” is all he says before his lips crash down on
mine.

I moan into his mouth, tangling my hands in his unruly hair. He grips my
waist and presses his erection into my belly. I gasp when I feel how hard he
is, how ready.

“It’s been too long since I last had you,” he rasps, bringing his mouth
to my neck and sucking hard.

“God…I know,” I whisper back.

He lifts me by the hips then and carries me to an old desk shoved into
the corner of the closet. My bottom slams down onto it and Phoenix’s rough
hands are pulling my skirt up so that it is ruffled around my hips. He spreads
my legs wide and stands between them, his mouth returning to my neck and his
hand to my hair, fisting it tightly. His erection rubs against my core. His
hips move in and out gently, hitting me in just the right spot. I’m about to
let out a loud cry of pleasure when he muffles it with the palm of his hand.

“You need to be quiet,” he breathes heavily in my ear. “There’s a
classroom right next door.”

He’s right, I do need to be quiet but I don’t want to stop. He keeps his
hand on my mouth for a few more moments, his eyes shining in the lightless
closet. They are the only thing I can see. The absence of proper sight enhances
my other senses, makes me feel his touches ever more intensely. His cock is
still nudging at me, teasing my swollen clit. Finally, he moves his hand and
pulls on my underwear, easing them down my thighs. I fumble with his belt
buckle, undoing it and then the fly of his combats.

I don’t care that I have a class starting in fifteen minutes. I need this
now. I need to feel him in me without any barriers. It’s been a while since I
visited the local GP and began taking the contraceptive pill he prescribed. We
should be good to go, no need for protection.

I whisper as much in Phoenix’s ear and he growls in response, yanking his
trousers down to mid-thigh. My knickers have been discarded, lying somewhere on
the floor. My legs are spread wide and the air hits my throbbing sex. Holding
his cock, he rubs it tenderly over my folds and the gentle contact makes me
want to scream. But I hold it in. We can’t make noise, not here.