Plain Pursuit (32 page)

Jenna nodded.

“Good night, Lillian,” Carley said as Lillian headed toward the stairs. Again she thought about what a natural mommy Lillian was.

And how that possibility was lost for Carley herself.

“Where’s Jenna?” Noah asked Dana when she walked into the room.

“She wanted to spend the night with Carley.” She sat down in the chair by the bed.

“Really?” He wasn’t all that surprised. Jenna seemed to like Carley.
He
liked Carley. Which led him into a conversation he’d been dreading. He’d suspected for a long time that Dana had a crush on him, but he’d had no idea she’d go so far as to try to keep Carley away from him by creating a make-believe girlfriend.

“You must like Carley, if you let Jenna go stay with her,” Noah said.

Dana shrugged. “She’s okay, I guess.”

Noah knew he needed to tread lightly. Dana had been through a lot. But he also wanted things to be clear in her mind. “Carley and I have become good friends.” He paused. “Possibly more.”

Dana turned away from him.

“Dana, look at me.”

But she only shook her head.

“I love you and your sister—like I love my own sisters or even like I hope to love my daughters someday.”

“I know where you’re going with this!” She rose from the chair, hung her head for a moment, then looked back at him. A tear rolled down her cheek. “And I’m sorry for what I did. I just . . .”

Noah reached for her hand. “You and Jenna will always be in my life in some capacity. You know
that, right?” He squeezed her hand. “There’s all kinds of love, Dana.”

“But things wouldn’t be the same if you had a girlfriend or got married or something.”

“Do you think I would abandon you and Jenna?” He gave her an incredulous look.

She pulled her hand away, covered her face, and wept. “I don’t know.”

“Well, it’s not going to happen.” He waited while she gathered herself. “I know you want me to be happy.”

She nodded.

“It would make me happy to get to know Carley better.” He paused. “And, Dana, it would make me happy if you and Jenna got to know Carley better too.”

She nodded again. “Okay.”

After helping Jenna with a bath and getting bathed herself, Carley lit lanterns on each side of the bed and pulled back the covers for Jenna to crawl underneath.

“These sheets smell good.” Jenna buried her head in the pillow.

“It’s because they hang them outside to dry.” Carley reached for the pile of books Lillian had left on the bedside table. “Let’s see. Which book should we read?”

Carley offered Jenna four books to choose from while she tucked the quilt up around their waists—the quilt Noah had bought her at the mud sale. Running her hand across the fabric, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking about her too. But every time she tried to imagine them as more than friends, a roadblock slammed down in front of her. He would ultimately regret a life with her.

So why was she allowing things to move forward so naturally with him?

“This one, Carley. Read this one!”

Carley accepted the book.
My Family
. “Are you sure?” She wondered if a book about family would upset Jenna, given her circumstances.

Jenna’s head bobbed up and down with excitement, so Carley read the book—three times. Then Jenna rested her head in the nook of Carley’s shoulder. It didn’t take long for her to fall fast asleep.

Carley brought the book about family to her chest. While it seemed to give Jenna comfort, it was Carley who was upset after reading it. She missed her mother more than ever, and her regret rose to the surface at not being able to have her own children. As an onslaught of self-pity threatened to drown her, she closed her eyes, knowing she needed a new approach. There had to be some way to feel peace again, some way to move forward.

She’d prayed for David, for Noah, for Lillian and her family. Why was it so hard to ask God to guide
her
?

Samuel could hear Lillian bustling around in the kitchen and knew she’d be upstairs soon. She’d already caught him looking for the letter once and didn’t seem to understand how important it was. With his son on the mend, nothing seemed more crucial than finding the missive from Noah.

Did God know he’d need this letter someday? Is that why he’d felt so strongly about opening it . . . and then kept it? He’d felt such despair after Rachel died, like he’d never stop hurting. He remembered wanting to go to the shanty to call Noah after he received the letter. But he hadn’t.

He thanked God repeatedly that Noah was able to give his boy a kidney, but he knew things couldn’t change. Samuel’s heart might have softened, but the ways of the community and Bishop Ebersol had not.

Still. He needed that letter.

After checking every drawer in the chest a second time, he sat down on the bed. Where could he have put it?

As Carley tried to push past her feelings of unworthiness and talk to God on her own behalf, Jenna groaned. Carley could see her neck was twisted awkwardly against Carley’s shoulder. She gently nudged Jenna down onto her own pillow and reached for the bedside table. As she set down the book they had read, something fell from the back of it.

A small envelope addressed to Samuel—from Noah. Turning it over, she could see it had been opened. She recalled Noah saying that all his letters to Samuel had been returned unopened or gone unanswered. Evidently, this one Samuel had kept—and read.

She stared at the envelope, then pulled out the wrinkled piece of paper. It looked as if it had been read a hundred times. Knowing full well what she was doing was as wrong as anything she’d ever done, she unfolded the lined piece of white paper. And she read.

When she was done, she cried. She cried for Noah. She cried for Samuel. Now she knew exactly what she needed to do.

18

AFTER THEY CAUGHT A RIDE WITH BARBIE TO THE HOSPITAL the next morning, Lillian carefully broached the subject of Noah with Samuel. While they waited for the elevator, she said, “I think it’s nice what Carley’s doing for Noah.”

“Ya,”
Samuel responded. Lillian could have sworn he smiled for a split second. “They are
in lieb
,” he added, shaking his head, his expression reflective of his disapproval.

“Samuel, no one has said anything about love. But what if it were to happen?” she said enthusiastically, threading her arm through his as they entered the elevator. “Don’t you remember how
wunderbaar
it is when you are first
in lieb
?” Glad the elevator was empty, she added jokingly, “It hasn’t been that long for us, Samuel. Surely you haven’t forgotten.”

“No. And I love you even more now.”

She released her hold on Samuel’s arm since he wasn’t fond of public affection. “I feel the same way.”

The elevator doors opened. They exited and headed toward David’s room. By now, Lillian was immune to the curious stares they received. She could tell they bothered Samuel, but he never said anything.

“Where’s David?” Samuel asked the nurse in David’s room when he saw that the bed was empty.

The woman retrieved the urine jug from the floor next to the bed and scribbled the measurement on a chart. “He went for a walk with one of the aides,” she said, heading to the bathroom to pour out the contents that had been saved to evaluate David’s kidney output. “We try to get the patients up and walking as much as possible.”

“Thank you,” Lillian said as they headed toward the hall to find David.

“He said he was going to go see his uncle,” the nurse added before they were out the door.

Lillian nodded at the nurse and turned quickly to Samuel, catching a frown on his face. She decided not to comment one way or the other and quietly walked alongside Samuel to Noah’s room.

Lillian was surprised to find Rebecca sitting in a chair by Noah’s bed. David was standing nearby, clutching a walker, with an aide by his side steadying his portable IV. Rebecca jumped up, as if she had seen a ghost.

“Samuel, you’re here so early.” She smoothed the wrinkles in her apron.

“How are our patients doing this morning?” Lillian glanced back and forth between David and Noah.

“Gut,”
David said. “I came to see if
Onkel
Noah wanted to go for a walk with me down the hall.”

Lillian clutched Samuel’s arm, hoping her touch would remind him of his surroundings. His son was in the room.

“I told David maybe later,” Noah spoke up. “I have lab people on their way to draw more blood.”
He winked at David. “But it is amazing how well your boy is doing.”

“And we probably need to get him back in a prone position,” the aide added. “David has been on his feet long enough.”

Samuel and Lillian backed up and made room for David to turn the walker around. “I’ll see you soon,
Onkel
Noah.”

Noah saw Samuel’s scowl then replied, “I’ll look forward to it, David.”

Samuel nodded in Noah’s direction, as if to bid him farewell, and followed David and the aide out of the room.

“Where’s Carley?” Noah asked Lillian as Rebecca continued to look like a child who had been caught doing something naughty.

“She’s not coming until this afternoon,” Lillian said. There was no mistaking the disappointment that registered on Noah’s face.

“I should go,” Rebecca said. She edged toward the door. “Good-bye, Noah.”

Noah smiled at her. “Thank you for coming, Rebecca.”

Lillian felt bad about leaving Noah abruptly, but the doctors made rounds between six and seven o’clock, and she wanted to be in David’s room when they arrived.

“Noah, I’m going to go, too, so that I don’t miss the doctors making their rounds,” she said. “But I will be back later to check on you.”

Noah nodded and forced a smile, but Lillian could still see the sadness in his eyes.

When Lillian left the room, Rebecca was standing in the hallway waiting for her.

“
Mamm
was here earlier,” she said. “And Mary Ellen and Sadie got a ride from Paul Shank last night. I don’t think Samuel knows, but Ivan was here yesterday, too, and—”

“Rebecca,” Lillian interrupted. It was clear how distraught Rebecca was. “It’s all right.”