Play It Away: A Workaholic's Cure for Anxiety (10 page)

I noticed that my panic attacks were running through the same sequence each time:

1. I’d convince myself that something really bad (and highly unlikely) was going to happen.
   
2. I would obsess over all the potential ramifications of that really bad thing happening.
   
3. I’d become acutely aware of my heartbeat and its rising pace.
   
4. My mind began playing an ominous loop that told me I was going crazy, and that I was going to die.
   
5. I would freak out, hyperventilate, and lay on the ground for 20 minutes.
   

It was that first step – convincing myself that something really bad was going to happen – that set the entire sequence in motion. I wondered if I could make it impossible to take myself seriously. That, I suspected, might stop the panic attack in its tracks.

The method I came up with was simple:
I would say all of my worries out loud in the most ridiculous voice I could conjure
. I wouldn’t resist the thoughts or try to hide from them; I would bring them out in the open and dress them down in the voice of a chipmunk on helium. Or as the Swedish Chef from The Muppets. Or Kenny Powers. Or Arnold Schwarzenegger. Or Ron Burgundy.

As I mocked my worries in a goofy character’s voice, the tension in my body loosened up. I’d snap out of my seriousness as I embellished my worries into outrageous scenarios. I threw in wild hand gestures and talked even louder. It was like I was doing improv comedy with myself.

After about 30 seconds, I was so distracted by my absurd behavior that I was no longer processing my worries. I could only focus on how ridiculous I sounded. I was like a baby whose crying switched to giggling in a matter of seconds. Better yet, I was like a funeral attendee who thought of something funny, and couldn’t help but laugh.

My method was silly, juvenile, and kind of crazy, but it worked for me. It helped me loosen up and laugh at myself. My worries became impossible to take seriously and the impending panic attack faded away.

Mocking your worries might feel awkward or very difficult at first. That’s okay. It takes practice before you can start having fun with yourself. But this is a great technique to experiment with because it’s entirely possible to convert your worrying into something funny.

Try not to think
Why isn’t this working yet?
Just let go your expectations and focus on the sound of your voice. If you start hyperventilating, go drink a full glass of water. Once you feel hydrated and your breathing has leveled out, try mocking your worries again.

FREQUENCY:

As needed.

COST:

Free.

DO IT NOW:

Practice saying your worries out loud in the voice of a funny character. Do this for 60 seconds.

RESOURCES:

Tom Cat 2 (playitaway.me/tomcat)
Not comfortable speaking in a goofy voice? Use this app to have your worries repeated back to you by an animated cat. Surprisingly fun and effective.

Impressions by Isaac (playitaway.me/voices)
If you need inspiration, watch this talented kid produce every single funny voice you can imagine.

Raptor Mascot on Rollerblades (playitaway.me/mascot)
Each time I watch this video, I can’t help but crack up. If all else fails, just keep watching this on repeat until you’re no longer worried.

Bonus Points

Become Your Own Best Friend

It’s impossible to heal your anxiety if you’re constantly scolding yourself for not feeling normal. You need to be loving and supportive. The best way to do that is by quietly venting to yourself and practicing gratitude through writing.

Whenever you get really stressed out, grab a pen and a few pieces of paper.
Write down every single thing you’re currently worrying about
. Don’t filter your words or resist your feelings. Be brutally honest about what you are going through. Expose your fears and insecurities so you can see them outside of yourself.

Once you’re finished, go back and read through everything you just wrote. Then take out another few sheets of paper, and write down one reason why you’re grateful for every single thing you’re worried about. It doesn’t matter how awful or irredeemable that source of stress has been;
come up with one reason why you’re thankful to have experienced it.

This is the best method for transforming mental poison into spiritual nourishment. Writing unlocks the gates of your mental prison, which allows your brain to decompress and breathe. And practicing gratitude for each of your stressors helps you see your life in a more positive light.

I can’t overstate how critical writing was for retaining my sanity. It was one of the few activities that calmed me down and made me feel better. Even when I felt like death, I was setting aside time to write down everything that was bothering me. Writing to myself (combined with meditation) helped me recognize that all of my thoughts were acceptable. That’s how I learned to be okay with myself again. It’s how I became my own best friend.

I’m a major advocate for writing worries out by hand (rather than typing). It’s slow and kind of painful, but there’s something magical about the process. You are simultaneously venting and listening to your most private thoughts, and no one is there to interrupt or argue with you (plus, you’re not being distracted by the internet). The practice is extremely therapeutic, and for me, it’s a lot more emotionally powerful than typing.

Whether you keep or throw away your written thoughts is completely up to you. This is just a technique that can help you love yourself more.

FREQUENCY:

As needed.

COST:

Free.

DO IT NOW:

Take out a few pieces of paper. Write down everything that you’re stressed out about. Then come up with one reason you’re grateful for those sources of stress.

RESOURCES:

Moleskine Journal (playitaway.me/moleskine)
The most beloved brand in notebooks, sketchbooks, and journals. Great for travelers, writers, and note-takers.

End of Week 2 - Assessment

• Did you have at least two sessions of guilt-free play with your friends?
  
• Did you get 15 minutes of sunlight and fresh air each day?
  
• Did you optimize your room for great sleep?
  
• Did you go to bed at the same time each night?
  
• Did you take a nap each day after lunch?
  
• Did you observe your thoughts for 10 minutes each morning?
  

Ongoing:

• Did you do the Remove Your Anchors exercise?
  
• Have your simple solutions been effective?
  

On a scale of 0 - 100%, how much did your anxiety drop this week?

Week 3

Heal Your Body

Eat Healthy Meals with Healthy Friends

Release Pent Up Frustration

T.R.E. - Trauma Releasing Exercises

Eat Healthy Meals with Healthy Friends

Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.

—
J
EAN
A
NTHELME
B
RILLAT-
S
AVARIN

The old saying is true: You are what you eat. And if the food you’re consuming is foreign, toxic, and difficult to digest, you will feel sick, anxious, and constipated.
³⁰
It’s impossible to feel healthy if you’re subsisting on foods that have zero nutritional value.

When I was at the height of my anxiety, I was regularly eating foods that I knew were toxic on a daily basis — fast food, junk food, ice cream, pizza, alcohol… But I didn’t care. I was just so desperate for quick and easy forms of comfort, even though they ultimately made me feel worse. The food highs disappeared as quickly as they came, and I’d run off to find another stimulant to numb my bad feelings. Of course, I only ate like a slob when I was alone. When other people were with me, my eating habits magically cleaned themselves up.

The way I broke out of my unhealthy eating habits was by regularly eating meals with healthy friends.
³¹
I picked a few friends of mine who were in undeniably good health (clear glowing skin, bright eyes, high energy, toned muscles
³²
), and asked if they’d be willing to sit down for a few meals together during the week. Then I copied them by eating whatever they were eating. After a few weeks of regularly dining with my healthy friends, I was feeling and looking vigorous again.

I wanted to eat with my healthy friends as often as possible, so three of my buddies and I organized a weekly dinner night. We’d all bring a dish to share, or one person would cook a full meal for the group. We wouldn’t post pictures of our food on Instagram, or update Facebook to let people know we were eating dinner together. We just focused on enjoying the food and the company.

Almost every meal consisted of three ingredients: one type of protein, one type of vegetable, and one healthy side (this formula is basically a variation of the Paleo Diet). Here are the foods I was most frequently eating:

Protein

• Grass-fed beef
  
• Free range chicken
  
• Cage free pastured eggs
  
• Wild Alaskan salmon
  

Vegetable

• Kale
  
• Spinach
  
• Broccoli
  
• Zucchini
  

• Bell peppers
  
• Brussels sprouts
  
• Collard greens
  
• Bok choy
  

Side

• Avocado
  
• Blueberries
  
• Cherries
  
• Black Mission Figs
  
• Sweet potatoes
  
• Black beans
  
• Almonds
  
• Sauerkraut
  

For each meal, I consumed a good amount of protein (the portion size was roughly the size of my fist), a ton of vegetables, and a handful or two of the side. I cooked with a couple tablespoons of Kerrygold Irish Butter or coconut oil (healthy sources of fat). I never restricted myself or felt guilty for eating “too much.” I always ate until I was content.

During the week, I didn’t eat any bread, pasta, or dairy products. I never drank soda, fruit juice, or beverages that contained milk. Instead, I just had water, coconut water, or tea.

Of course, my diet wasn’t perfect. I would break my own rules on occasion. But I wouldn’t chastise myself if I had some dark chocolate or a couple glasses of wine. Nor would I feel guilty if I ate junk food on the weekend. I was just trying to get in the habit of eating with my healthy friends, and to cut most (but not all) of the toxic crap out of my diet.

My transition to a healthier diet was
gradual
and
forgiving
, rather than abrupt and perfect (which is doomed to fail). But the real key to getting my eating habits back on track was
having meals with healthy friends
. Eating is a social activity; we have a tendency to go along with whatever foods the people around us are eating. It’s super difficult to have to constantly resist unhealthy foods, so try to eat with healthy people who won’t force you into fighting temptation.

FREQUENCY:

Aim for at least 3 meals with healthy friends per week.

COST:

$5-100+ per meal. Depends on how many people are eating, along with the quality and quantity of the food.

DO IT NOW:

Schedule dinner with two of your healthiest friends this week.

RESOURCES:

Slow Carb Diet (playitaway.me/slowcarb)
Having a tough time sticking with Paleo? Check out Tim Ferriss’ Slow Carb Diet, which has helped thousands of people (including both of my parents) eat healthier AND lose more than 20+ pounds of fat. Tim’s diet calls for vegetables, meat, and legumes – six days a week.
³³
Then there’s a cheat day, where you can eat and drink anything you want for 24 hours.

³⁰
Sadly, most Americans subsist almost entirely on addictive foods that do not exist in nature — foods that have been chemically altered, processed, refined, and cooked in artery-clogging gunk. The human digestive system cannot process these foods without getting backed up and coated with mucus. And as a result of this Standard American Diet (and our collective lack of play), we have become the most diseased and obese population in the history of mankind… WE’RE NUMBER ONE! The irony, of course, is that when our bodies finally break down from decades of playing human garbage disposal, we end up spending all our money on medicine and surgery just so we can keep eating toxic junk for a few more years. Silly humans.
³¹
This also allowed me to spend more face-to-face time with people I liked, which is something that a lot of remote workers and freelancers tend to neglect.
³²
You might have friends who only eat low fat, low calories, or mostly vegetarian. Unfortunately, those dietary restrictions often lead to burn out and poor health. Don’t adopt someone else’s diet just because it
sounds
good; assess the overall health of the eater! How vigorous do they look? Is their energy naturally high? Is their demeanor lively and upbeat? Is their skin radiant?
³³
Slow Carb doesn’t allow fruit, except on cheat days. I love fruit, so I usually have some on the side at lunch.