Play It Away: A Workaholic's Cure for Anxiety (13 page)

Give yourself permission to stop working and unplug.
Don’t feel guilty for taking time off. This isn’t an escape from the real world – it’s a chance to reconnect with it. Taking a break from modern living is the perfect opportunity to turn inward, breathe, and relax in quiet stillness.

We all need to get back in nature from time-to-time. It’s our much-needed reminder that the universe is blissfully unaware of our little careers.

FREQUENCY:

One weekend per month, or as needed.

COST:

Between free and expensive, depending on your destination and accommodations

DO IT NOW:

Go on a two-hour hike at a local park. Leave your cell phone at home. Schedule a nature vacation.

RESOURCES:

AirBNB (airbnb.com)
The perfect service for finding short-term lodging. The site has more than 500,000 listings in 33,000 cities, in nearly every country on the planet. Listings include private rooms, apartments, castles, boats, manors, tree houses, tipis, igloos, and private islands.

Camp Grounded (campgrounded.org)
Weekend summer camp for adults. Trade in your computer and cell phone for a weekend of pure unadulterated fun. Activities include hiking, stargazing, swimming in the river, capture the flag, kickball, talent show, toasting marshmallows, and more.

Escape 101
(playitaway.me/escape)
If you want a longer break from work, this book will show you how to successfully take a sabbatical without losing all your money (or your mind).

Into the Wild
(playitaway.me/wild)
Wonderful film about the life of Christopher McCandless, who decided to leave the American Dream behind and vagabond his way to Alaska.

⁴⁵
Anyone can go 24 hours without using their phone or computer. There aren’t any pressing matters you’re going to miss, and you’re definitely not as important as you think. Disconnect. Life goes on.

Intentional Acts of Kindness

There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness.

—
D
ALAI
L
AMA

My friend Jeff Waldman was always creating street art for our neighborhood. He hung up swings on trees in the park, made Take-a-Book-Leave-a-Book stations out of old newsstands, and handed out pre-stamped Mother’s Day cards to his neighbors.

The purpose of Jeff’s projects was to elicit joy from the people passing by. City officials removed a lot of his work, but it was always cool to watch him make our neighbors a little happier.

Intentional Acts of Kindness are really fun. They shut your worries up and get you out of your head for a while. They’re also a great way to interact with people, make new friends, and spread good karma.

If you’re not sure where to start, here are some ideas for Intentional Acts of Kindness that you can do right now:

• Say “Hi.”
  Lock eyes with a passing stranger, smile  (very important), and say hello. Keep doing this   over and over.
  
• Call an old friend.
  Say that a fun memory of the  two of you popped into your head, and you wanted  to see how they were doing.
  
• Facebook toasts.
  Instead of using Facebook to  convince people how great your life is, post  something nice about one of your friends instead.  Write about why you’re grateful to know them.
  
• Apologize to someone you’ve wronged.
  No matter  how nice you think you are, there’s someone out  there who believes you’re a total jerk. Get in  touch, say that what you did has been weighing on  your conscience, and tell them you’re sorry.
  
• Thank someone who is rarely thanked.
  Leave  your trash man a Thank You note. Write a  compliment about your server on the receipt. Offer your bus driver a free cup of coffee.
  

• Mail a handwritten letter.
  My mom wrote one letter each day for 30 days, letting her closest friends know why she was grateful to have them in her life. And every day that month, she got phone calls from the recipients who wanted to express their gratitude for the note.
  
• Free hugs.
  Run up to a friend and lean into it.
  
• Free art.
  Spend a day creating art and giving it away. If you’re in Central Park, you might see the Roving Typist, who will write a unique short story for you, free of charge.
  
• Volunteer to help kids with reading.
  You want the next generation to be intelligent? Well, this is the most fun and effective way to ensure that happens.
  
• Host a Couchsurfer.
  Share your home with people traveling through your neighborhood. Be generous. It will make an impact on how they view the world.
  
• Be kind to another species.
  Humans are a bit monstrous to non-humans. We cage, torture, kill, and sell practically everything that isn’t us Pretty strange, considering we were all blessed with the exact same gift of existing on this planet together. Be kind, be their companions, and just let them be.
  
• Play.
  Ask your neighbors to join you.
  

You can never run out of love to give; it’s the ultimate form of renewable energy. And if you keep generously spreading love to those around you, you won’t have to worry so much about getting it in return. Somehow, it always finds its way back.

FREQUENCY:

As needed.

COST:

Free or cheap.

DO IT NOW:

Call someone you care about. Do a Facebook toast.

RESOURCES:

Couchsurfing (couchsurfing.org)
Connect with travelers all around the world. Share your home, or find local hosts to stay with in more than 100,000 cities.

Suicide Watch (reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch)
The people in this forum are really struggling. If you want to help save someone’s life, this is where you can do it. You
can
make a difference.

Exit Through the Gift Shop
(playitaway.me/banksy)
Fantastic and hilarious documentary about the wild world of street art. One of my all-time favorite films.

END OF WEEK 4 - ASSESSMENT

• Did you rearrange and clean your rooms so you can feel light and happy?
  
• Did you take a nature hike?
  
• Did you disconnect from screens for 24 hours this week?
  
• Did you commit any intentional acts of kindness?
  

ONGOING:

• Remove Your Anchors?
  
• Eating meals with healthiest friends?
  
• Guilt-free play with friends?
  
• Bed at the same time? Nap after lunch?
  
• Observing thoughts in the morning?
  

On a scale of 0 - 100%, how much did your anxiety drop this week?

OVERALL ASSESSMENT

On a scale of 0-100%, how much has your anxiety dropped since you started the 4-week plan?

For ongoing health and happiness, continue practicing the following techniques...

• Mind.
  Remove your anchors. Enjoy guilt-free play with friends. Go to bed at the same time. Take a nap after lunch. Observe your thoughts.Practice gratitude.
  
• Body.
  Eat healthy meals with healthy friends. Get fresh air and sunshine every day. Release pent-up frustration.
  
• World.
  Create the environment you want to live in. Take nature vacations. Disconnect from screens. Commit intentional acts of kindness.
  

6

How I Play Today

I looked like I’d just climbed out of a pool. A passerby stopped to ask if I knew how much I was sweating.
Yes,
I said laughing,
it’s been this way the entire time and I haven’t died yet.
It was the humidity. It never let up.

I looked up at the departure screen. In three hours, I’d be back in Krabi - the city I’d left earlier that day. I’d been traveling around Thailand for a month and I wanted to extend my trip. But American tourists were only allowed to stay for 30 days at a time. That’s why I flew into Malaysia, the country with the closest international airport. And because I’d left Thailand (albeit for two hours), I was now free to return for another month. Silly passport laws.

I knew nothing about Kuala Lumpur (the city I was in), but at the last minute, I decided to stay for a few days. Why not? I pulled out my phone, booked a room on HostelWorld, and then hopped on a bus headed for downtown.

I grabbed an open seat and looked around. Everyone was silently staring down at their cell phones. Two guys sat down next to me and we struck up a conversation. They were cricketers from Pakistan. It was their first visit to Malaysia, as well.

When I arrived at my hostel two hours later, I was greeted at the gate by Sza Sza - the owner’s 4-year old daughter - who was holding a red balloon. She looked down at my bags, looked back up at me, and asked if we could play catch.

I was tired, sore, and dirty. My workaholic self would have politely turned this kid down, headed straight for my air-conditioned room, and laid in bed staring at my phone. But I didn’t do those things. I was relaxed and well-practiced at play. I remembered what it was like.

I dropped my bags and jumped straight into a series of games. We played for three hours. I wasn’t trying to prove a point or make a show of myself. It was just the thing to do. Sza Sza and I trapped monsters in the refrigerator, sailed the ocean, and played catch with her red balloon.

The next morning, the Pakistani cricketers I met on the bus came by my hostel. They invited me to join them and a few of their teammates for a trip to the water park. My workaholic self would have politely turned them down, taken my laptop to a café, and messed around on the internet. But I didn’t do those things. I jumped in the taxi with the group and we headed out.

We had a blast the entire day. We whooped and hollered as we rode down the slides, and cracked up whenever we got drenched. We made jokes about our cultures, played games together, and became friends.

I didn’t feel guilty for not working. I didn’t chide myself for not being productive. I didn’t even really process what I was doing. I was just in the moment, living again.

I returned to the hostel that evening, where I found Sza Sza on the porch with her red balloon. She laughed as I lifted her onto my shoulders. We battled the monsters then threw a party in the jungle. When we asked the other hostel guests if they wanted to join, they politely turned us down and stared back at the soft glow of their phones.

On my final day in the hostel, Sza Sza waved to me from behind the gate as I walked down the street. As I turned the corner, I could still hear her crying out, “Bye, Charlie! Bye, big brother!”

***

I couldn’t see it for a long time, but I was the creator of my own anxious reality. I worked myself to exhaustion. I never slept. I didn’t allow myself to have fun. I consumed fear-mongering news that convinced me the end was near. People absorbed and reflected my nervousness back at me, and my anxiety perpetuated itself.

When I started viewing life through the lens of
Play
, my world changed. I got rid of all the things that made me unhappy. I went outside and had guilt-free fun with my friends. All of my interactions became a dance. My inner joy shined through the smile on my face, and people reflected my playful energy right back at me. I kept this up for weeks, and then one day, I noticed...
I was surrounded by fun-loving people, all the time.
My life became great again because I chose to play.