Please Forgive Me (17 page)

‘Of course there is,’ he declared, feigning insult. ‘Why – are you jealous?’

‘Give me a break.’ She’d very nearly forgotten how damned infuriating he could be; almost like a five-year old kid trying to get out of trouble, she mused, taking a sip of what was left of her beer. ‘You are really incredible sometimes, you know that?’

There was another flash of those blindingly white teeth. ‘Why thank you darlin’,’ he said exaggerating his Texan drawl, before nodding at her empty bottle. ‘Another?’

He was already out of his seat before Alex could reply, and in his absence she sat alone at the table, trying to work out how she should be feeling.

A whole year …

And yet it still felt like it was only yesterday … no, she corrected herself quickly, Seth was
making
it feel like it was only yesterday, as if everything that had happened in the meantime was insignificant. But that was him all over, wasn’t it?

Seth eventually returned to the table with another two Coronas.

‘So do you still live at Green St? Hey, only making conversation,’ he added innocently, when Alex gave him a look that suggested this was absolutely none of his business. ‘I do know you’re still with the station though. I caught a couple of your shows lately. They’re good.’

 
‘Thanks.’ She felt weird, almost exposed, at the idea of him keeping an eye on her work. Again, her gaze met his, but this time she didn’t look away.

‘Alex I…’

‘Leonie, over here!’ Suddenly spotting her friend across the street, Alex stood up and waved at her. Just in the nick of time too, she thought. Things were getting way too uncomfortable (or was it comfortable?) for her liking and she didn’t want to be alone with him for any longer than she needed to be.

Leonie approached the table, smiling. ‘Oh great, I was afraid I might miss you or get lost, or something. It’s lovely here but everything looks a bit samey and my sense of direction is just brutal and …well I’ve found you now.’ She looked from Alex to Seth as if trying to determine whether the coast was now clear.

‘Can I get you something to drink?’ Seth stood up and held out a seat for her, all polite and solicitous now, apparently forgetting that he’d been flirting shamelessly with the same girl not an hour earlier.

‘I’d love a beer too, thanks.’ Leonie on the other hand,
hadn’t
forgotten this Alex noticed with some amusement, her friend beaming again in his presence.

‘Coming right up.’ Seth headed again towards the bar.

‘Buy anything nice?’ Alex asked, eyeing Leonie’s shopping bags.

‘Just a couple of fiddly little things I thought might be nice for the apartment.’ Sitting down, she leaned forward conspiratorially and cocked a sideways glance at Seth. ‘I hope you don’t mind me just abandoning you like that, but I got the impression you needed some privacy.’

Alex waved her away. ‘Not a problem, it’s fine.’

‘I got a bit of a fright when the two of you just started sniping at each other; I mean, I had no idea you actually
knew
him. He seems nice though. While I was waiting for you he just came up and starting talking to me – right out of the blue! I couldn’t believe it.’

‘Yep, that would be Seth,’ Alex said wryly.

‘I have to admit I didn’t exactly mind though, I mean, it’s not every day that this gorgeous hunk comes up and starts talking to you, is it? And wow, he just has this way, I don’t know… this
incredibly
sexy way of looking at you – it sort of like, turns your legs to jelly?’

‘
Definitely
Seth.’ Alex took another sip of her beer, trying to keep from smiling.

‘Well, he had that effect on me, anyway – still does a bit actually,’ Leonie giggled, throwing another glance in the direction of the bar, where Seth stood waiting to be served. ‘So who is he?’ she asked casually. ‘Some old boyfriend or something?’

Alex looked at her, deciding she’d better come clean. ‘Actually,’ she said, with a weary sigh, ‘he’s my husband.’

Leonie’s mouth was still wide open when Seth returned; she was so floored by what she’d heard. Alex felt kind of bad, her poor friend was probably embarrassed at admitting the effect he’d had on her, but what else was new? The guy had that effect on everyone.

The questions began when the girls left Seth and headed back into Monterey to find a place for the night.

‘But you never said anything about being
married
!’ Leonie was so taken aback, it was like she’d forgotten the real reason they were here at all. When Alex explained that Helena wasn’t at the studio when she called, and wouldn’t be until the following day, it almost didn’t register with Leonie – she seemed much more interested in finding out the story with her and Seth.

Although it was the last thing Alex wanted, he’d somehow coerced them into meeting up again for dinner that evening.

‘I know this great Mexican place, it’s got the best margaritas in the state,’ he’d assured them, and while she was reluctant to indulge him, there was no avoiding the fact that the two of them had issues to sort out. Issues Alex was determined to bring to a resolution, especially while she could pin down where Seth actually was at the moment, which couldn’t be said for the last year.

Now, back at the motel they’d found for the night, Leonie was still full of questions. ‘How come you never said anything? Especially with Jon and everything ... I presume he knows?’ She shook her head, incredulous. ‘I still can’t believe you never told me you were
-
’

‘Well that’s because I’m not as far as I’m concerned,’ Alex shrugged. ‘Yes, we’re married, but just on paper, and of course Jon knows. I haven’t seen Seth since he took off about a year ago.’

‘Oh.’ It no longer sounded quite so dramatic to Leonie. ‘So you’re separated then,’ she said, sounding faintly crestfallen.

‘Well, if I had my way, we’d be divorced by now, but because Seth refused to tell me where he was, I could never have him served.’

And it wasn’t for the lack of trying.
 
In the early days, once she realised he was in fact gone, Alex had searched high and low for Seth’s whereabouts, an address, a place of work, even a beach – anywhere he could be served the damn divorce papers. But until today, her errant husband had remained as slippery as the conger eels he regularly swam alongside on his ocean dives.

‘Now I understand why you were so angry when we bumped into him earlier,’ Leonie said. ‘But what happened? Did he disappear after you two split up or…’

‘Leonie, you’ve seen him. That roguish smile and the hangdog expression? Not to mention all the flirting he was doing with you beforehand. Do you
really
need to ask me what happened?’

She looked uncomfortable. ‘Right. He wasn’t exactly the faithful type then.’

Alex snorted. ‘I’ll say! Ever heard of the seven-year-itch? Well, with Seth it only took seven months.’

‘God, Alex, I’m sorry for bringing it up, I have no right to ask and it’s really none of business…’

‘Hey, it’s not a problem, I’m way over it,’ she assured her. ‘I think I knew deep down from the very beginning that he wasn’t the marrying kind. But I was besotted and very stupid and I took the chance.’

Not to mention that she’d been completely bowled over by Seth. It had been a whirlwind romance in every sense of the word.

They’d met in this new club down by the Marina district and sparks had flown almost on sight. Alex was ordering drinks at the bar when he’d started hitting on her, and while she was instantly attracted by his rugged good looks and Southern charm (any woman with a pulse would be) it was an obvious he was a bit of a player. But Alex relished the challenge of keeping his interest, and for the best part of the ensuing year, she did. The sex was as explosive as their never-ending arguments, but Seth’s boundless energy and lust for life was like nothing she’d ever experienced.

‘The guy was born and bred in North Texas, about as far away as you can get from the ocean, and he ends up a scuba diving instructor – which just about sums him up, I guess’ she told Leonie, emphasising Seth’s avant-garde and contradictory nature. ‘A few months into the relationship, he took me down there to meet his family. I didn’t think too much about it; he’d been driving me crazy talking about his horses and how much he missed them, and so on. His family are cattle-breeders and the loveliest people you could meet,’ she said with a wistful smile, thinking of his mother with her gentle Southern mannerisms and his dad – a greyer and more rugged version of his son, but who shared the same devilish twinkle in the eye.

‘The same weekend we went to a local rodeo a few miles outside Dallas. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to one of those things, probably not, but it’s like nothing you’ll get anywhere else in America. Maybe it’s just the Southern thing but there’s this great community spirit, you know?’ Alex was seriously reminiscing now, but she couldn’t help it.

It had been an amazing evening. Seth had bought her a cowboy hat so she blended in nicely with the locals, who all strutted around in full rodeo garb. Everyone – young and old – wore cowboy boots beneath jeans or skirts, and even the kids looked like miniature cowboys in their little checked shirts and hats. Alex could easily imagine Seth at that age, racing around like crazy beneath the bleachers while waiting for the show to begin.

‘He’d told me he was taking part that night, but I figured he’d just be parading around on his horse. I mean, I had no idea …’

The rodeo officially kicked off with everyone singing along to ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ and while the crowd was still standing in the bleachers, Alex amongst them (with Seth’s Mom, Sally) Seth suddenly appeared in the middle of the ring.

‘You should have seen him Leonie,’ she laughed shaking her head. ‘You think he looked good today – well in those cowboy boots, denims, and that hat…’ she smiled again at the memory. ‘He took the microphone and bantered a little bit with the announcer, a guy he knew well – Seth knew
everybody
well. Anyway, like I said, there he was in the middle of a dusty rodeo ring, microphone in hand, when he dropped to one knee and …’ she shook her head, now almost sorry she’d started this story. ‘And he turned to where I was sitting in the bleachers and in front of half the state of Texas, asked me to marry him.’

‘Oh wow,’ Leonie swooned.
 

‘I know.’ And even though she’d had her doubts (mostly about the short length of their relationship) how could she have said no? Besides the fact that the crowd had turned its gaze on her, waiting for her answer, Alex had been completely blown away by the grandeur of it all and caught up in the excitement of the whole event. Stuff like that only happened in the movies, didn’t it?

‘Then, when the whooping and hollering had died down, and I’d given him his answer, which of course was yes, guess what he did next?’ she asked Leonie.

‘Raced over and gathered you in his arms?’ the other girl said dreamily.

‘Nope.’ This was kind of what Alex had expected too, but instead Seth had grinned, winked, and against a background of thunderous applause, said ‘Wish me luck darlin’.

‘And with that, he disappeared back in the direction of the holding pens. I was so dumbstruck by what had happened I didn’t have a clue what was going on. Then, two minutes later, there was a burst of loud country music, and my future husband,’ Alex said shaking her head in renewed bewilderment, ‘reappeared in the ring – bucking around like a rag doll on the top of a freaking
bull
!’

‘You’re kidding!’ Leonie’s eyes were wide.

‘Nope. He asks me to marry him and then proceeds to almost get himself killed.
That’s
the kind of guy we’re dealing with here,’ she said finally. ‘I should have known there and then that it was never going to last.’

They married shortly afterwards, and while it had been a crazy, impulsive time Alex couldn’t resist being carried along on the ride. Unfortunately, what attracted her to Seth – his wild energy and boundless passion was the same thing that ultimately rang the death knell for their relationship. He craved novelty and excitement, and the ring on his finger quickly put an end to that. They hadn’t even reached their first anniversary when Alex caught him out on the town with some bimbo, when he’d told her he going out with the crew on a night dive.

She and Jen had gone to a popular place in North Beach for a few drinks when they came across Alex’s new husband wrapped around this blonde lollipop in a manner that was far from innocent. Seth’s face was still buried in the girl’s neck when Alex walked right up and asked him what kind of ‘night dive’ he’d actually meant.

‘You
didn’t
!’ Leonie gasped, gobsmacked.

‘You bet I did.’

Despite Seth’s pleas afterwards that nothing was going to happen, that he was just ‘fooling around and being stupid’ it was more than enough for Alex, and within a few weeks of kicking him out, she contacted a lawyer about filing for divorce.

Maybe he did love her, but a guy like Seth, one who possessed such an undeniably sexual magnetism and was incredibly flirtatious by nature, could never be restricted to just one woman.

She might have been stupid enough to marry him but Alex wasn’t stupid enough to realise this, nor could she even consider asking him to change. Seth was Seth and he would never be any different, despite his protests.

He’d tried to reason with her, tried to convince her that of course he’d stay faithful, but Alex wouldn’t hear any of it. So he moved out and a few weeks later, she contacted her lawyer and told Seth to expect the papers.

‘You’re serious about divorcing me?’ he’d said, flabbergasted that she’d made good on her word.

‘Of course. What’s the point in wasting any more of each other’s time?’

‘But this is crazy! You’re crazy! This isn’t what marriage is supposed to be about, you can’t just give up on me after one stupid
-
’

‘It’s
supposed
to be about love and respect and most of all, trust! And I just don’t trust you Seth, in fact, I’m not sure I ever have.’