Princess Ces'alena (48 page)

“Please…leave me be…leave me be.” She started, her voice straining with the effort. Though softly spoken, it startled Manny, breaking the trance he found himself in. Angry, he looked up at her.

“Leave you be?! I see, no inquiry’s of our son, hm!?” He asked gruff and low.

“What is there for me to know, other than…you are here…and he is not. I have lost my son-…”

“Our son damn it!
Our - son!
”

“He is gone.” She replied simply. “And he’s not coming back.” She added.

“And you do not even care enough to ask about our search?! Did you ever care Lena? Did you ever?!”

Her look was one of torture as she blinked back gathering tears. “How can you say that to me! How can you! It is you who brought someone between us! Not I! Not I – you did that!”

“I will not stand here, and argue over things that cannot change. What has happened, has happened. Despite what you say, what you accuse me of, I have always cared, I did, I-…”

He couldn’t stand to hear her reasoning, “You did! Ha! You don’t have to lie to me anymore. No need to play these games! I know you don’t love me…I don’t think you ever did – or else you would not been able to turn to another so quickly! But tell me this…why? Why’d you cling to me so long? Was it for what I could give you? It’s hard for a “Princess” to go from a life of privilege - to the status of a slave!” He argued – his intent was to hurt. “Is that why? All you need do, to stay in the living you were accustomed to, was lay on your back for the master.” He accused, feeling angry and mean.

Lena sucked in from his attack. “How can you say that to me!?” Lena shook her head, it was happening, he was trying to lead her into a fight, a fight that could possibly land her in his arms at the end, with him, it always had. Even to argue with him, was dangerous, she had to stop it. “Manny please, don’t do this to me, not now, just leave me be…I beg you.” She pleaded softly.

“Don’t do this to you? Leave you be?! Not now!? Well what about me - what you’ve done to me? Hm!? Or maybe, you meant to do it! That it? A little revenge maybe?! You - Princess Ceś alena, a sole rebel for all the enslaved women before you, and the ones that will follow - on their behalf, you carry out the revenge! Oh what a worthy one you are for the call! Hale Princess Ceś alena – rebel fighter against all the white man’s cruel taking of Negro women everywhere! That it?”

“My God, what has happened to you? Have you gone mad? Manny, don’t be ridiculous.” Lena gasped unable to believe the way he was acting with her.

“I’m being ridiculous? I see…so that wasn’t it then hmm? Maybe I thrilled you then, that it? That sound closer to it? You get a thrill Lena? Rutting with the master? I turn you on? Did it fire your blood? Was it good?” He was now climbing the steps, as if slowly stalking her. “Tell me…does he take care of you, the way I did? Does his touch do it for you – the way mine did?”

“How dare you…you make me sound…cheap!” She swallowed, her hand at her midriff growing fearful of him and his approach. He ignored the look on her face, the wide eyes, her trembling, the hurt.

“Naw…I like the revenge theory better. You were always a fighter. You couldn’t beat me physically - so you beat me the other way. All along, you meant to make me fall in love with you-…”

“Manny this is insane! You’re not making any sen-…”

“Shut up damn it!! It’s my turn now!” He barked and continued, “You know, I can see it all now…” He was on the porch backing her towards the porch rail. “…you with the master’s heart in your hands, squeezing it - crushing it for the very last drop of blood-…”

“Manny please… stop this – I don’t want to argue with you.” She whimpered frightened. He ignored her words, “Do you know what you’ve done to me? Do you know … how you’ve taken my soul… and ripped it to shreds! And oh how ripe I was for the picking…fool that I am.”

“That’s not true! Not any of it…you know it’s not! How can you say these things when you know it’s not true!” She tried reasoning with him, but he refused to hear her, so caught up in the crazy overwhelming pain and passion she evoked just by looking at him. “Well congratulate yourself…it worked…” He now stood before her, looming large and menacing, “…I fell…I fell like a mighty oak. Me, Manny - your foolish white master. On the verge of groveling at your feet! You like the thought of that Lena? How does it feel to know you've succeeded!?” He grabbed her wrist in a grip so tight, it was meant to punish. “Such a little hand, used to reach within me…and rip my heart…from my chest…such a little hand…to hold such power!!” He squeezed cutting off her circulation.

“OWWW!!” She cried trying to twist her wrist from his powerful grip, fighting not to look up into his tortured eyes. “Manny please…you’re hurting me! Ow - Manny please, God you’re going to break my wrist!” She pulled again and he released it to capture her upper arms – a grip so strong she would bruise. Manny had no realization of the tears falling from his eyes for the anger he felt, and a need to make her look at him. To see what she had done to him; he forced words past the huge tightness in his chest that threatened to push a sob up. “You want me to beg you…but I won’t…I won’t beg you…” He ground out through clenched teeth, squeezing her with the effort he exerted to control his need. Pressing her shoulders in harshly as she whimpered against the pain, she tried to struggle from his grip…but his hold was like a band of steel, and all she could do was writhe within. Her hands pushed at his chest, but her strength against his was like that of a new born babe, she was caught with no way out, until he might decide to let her out. “Don’t you see what you’re doing…” He shook her. “…I will not plead … like some lowly beggar-…”

“Manny … you’re hurting me…please, you’re hurting me.”

“Hurting you!” He sneered, “Is it even possible…with what heart have you to experience hurt…pain? Hmmm… nothing but stone lies beneath your breast!”

She kept her face averted, refusing to look up at him as her arms throbbed, the more she fought looking at him, the angrier he became, twisting her back and forth, “Look at me damn you!!” He shook her roughly, so hard her teeth clacked in her mouth, she was afraid he’d snap her neck. Scared, Lena began crying, as he lifted her higher against the railing. “I loved you! Do you hear!? I said look at me!” He bit out through pressed teeth. “Me, Maynard - damned to hell - Webster! I loved you – with every – source of my – being – I loved you! I would’ve given you anything within my power! Anything! Damn it you will look at me or I will crush you in my hands!”

“Ohhh…Manny - Manny - please…I can’t-…” Lena shook her head, sobbing, her arms numb as they hung weak and useless.

“I would have died for you, killed to protect you! But not anymore! You can’t hurt me now! Because I don’t love you anymore! I despise you! You’re nothing to me now…but a blasted thorn in my side!”

Lena collapsed completely against him, drained from struggling… she really didn’t care what he did to her. She was too tired, afraid…and sorry.

Just like that, just as quickly, all drained from him at the touch her her head against his chest…the feel of her against his body…he let go to wrap his arms around her, crushing her against him with his mouth fighting not to kiss her head. She sobbed against him…loving him so much…hurting too much for words. Manny filled his lungs with her scent, her soft body and breast pressed against his.

Lena turned her tear stained face up to him with pleading eyes, feeling the rock hard erection against her. Manny couldn’t stop himself; his mouth found hers, open - hungry and devouring…his tongue invaded and plundered.

Hope was sitting up in the center of the bed, her sleep fretful without the body of her mother beside her for comfort. A deep and angry voice intruded her sleep shaking her. She heard her mothers pleading voice, and grew frightened. She could hear the struggle outside the door and began whimpering, she heard her mother cry out afraid. In the dim light of the room, she sucked in two frightened breaths and let out a high pitched wail - screaming in fear.

The cry of the child within Lena’s cabin was like a bucket of ice water thrown on them both. Manny stiffened realizing what he’d done…grabbing her suddenly by the arms he separated their bodies…shocked at the power of her touch. With dawning realization…his anger reignited.

He thrust her away from him roughly as if she had burned him. Lena fell hard against the door frame, the pounding of her heart disturbing her breathing…as did the power of the passion between them. Right then, she wanted to admit all! Just have it done with and tell him the truth. She was so tired… so lonely…and deeper yet in love with him. But his angry bitter words made her bite her tongue, just in the nick of time.

“Go! Your child cries for you!” He turned without another word and stalked angrily off of her porch and towards the barn. In the start of this day, all Manny wanted to do, was get home and get some sleep. Yet, there were too many women in his house and outside of it for him to endure the night through there. One bad confrontation leading to the worst yet; angrily he saddled a fresh horse…he needed release. “To hell with them all! Goddamn women will destroy the world! Well not me damn them!! Not me! I don’t need’em…I can take care of what I need easily.” He told himself - striding out the barn door with reigns in hand. He would go to town and get a woman, there! His problem was he’d been without too long and it was making him crazy. Too much pent up frustration…a long night of hard sex would set him straight. He mounted his horse and rode out.

Lena stood clinging to the door frame still weak and shaken. Her body and mind screamed with emotional anguish. Her arms and fingers tingled from his punishing grip…she thought she might crumble any moment. Unable to see through her tears and the darkness around her, she rolled with her back against the door frame into her cabin and closed the door, with Hope wailing on. “Sh sh sh…mama’s here…mama’s here.” She crooned rushing blindly to the bed, grabbing her daughter to her breast and holding on…rocking her there to calm her. “Mama’s here…mama’s here.” She promised over and over. Rocking, loving and holding on tightly …once again remembering - all the pain they suffered, was for the safety of their child … nothing else mattered… nothing. She squeezed her eyes tightly as if that would drown out the sound of a horse galloping away at top speed.

Margaret LéClare had a lot on her mind. With her thoughts chasing one another, sleep didn’t come easily. In England, when nights were as this one was, she’d pour a glass of wine and stroll her gardens,
that
usually helped her get to sleep. This night, she’d felt safe doing the same …sipping a glass of wine, as she strolled the grounds surrounding Webster Fields. Coming from the front of the mansion, she was almost full circle back at the kitchen door when she drew back into the cover of the fragrant citrus bushes upon spying Manny outside Ceś alena’s cabin.

There she stood and had witnessed it all, unexpectedly stunned by the heat of their meeting. The fact that he’d gone there hadn’t shocked her, but it was the fact they had argued. She saw them standing and staring…and was held in a suspension of time as they hungrily devoured each other. Eyebrows pinched, Margaret hadn’t understood why they hadn’t entered the privacy of her cabin. One moment they were enraptured, and the next, Manny became angry…handling her roughly as if he meant to hurt her.

His voice raised, his harsh words, and his aggressive attack gripped her in fear that he would do actual harm as Lena pleaded with him until the kiss. With her hand to her throat and her heart pounding, she saw the passion and longing between them; the heat that surrounded them, burning them both until the cry of the child. Hearing it made him, storm off to the barn, and Lena entered her cabin. Margaret slowly climbed the few steps to the kitchen, her mind in more of a whirl.

‘
What? What has she done to him? What has made him so furious with her? The loss of their child would bring them closer, not apart…surely not apart? My God, is what I’ve seen, the reason Katherine feels that she can now win him? Could it have something to do with the child? The cry of the child stopped everything… sending him away? Earlier he stated that his son was the only one he had…Oh my, that’s it. Lena betrayed him…obviously she bore the child by another! That has to be it…and Katherine knows it!’

Entering her room, closing the door behind her, she continued in her line of thought. Sipping the wine slowly as she strolled to her bed; although she felt she’d figured out the puzzle to this sordid affair…there was something still not right. She’d been around the woman Lena enough to observe her. She considered herself a pretty good judge of character, and this did not match her estimation of Lena.

Margaret lay in her bed thinking things through realizing that she could be wrong. After all, she’d only been around the woman for close on a month. What length of time was that to know someone? Only thing she was sure of, was that her daughter had become the villain of Webster Fields. That hurt, she didn’t want her daughter perceived in such a way…guilty of such harsh cruelty. Her actions were born of hurt and betrayal…true, but a child had become the victim of it, and that Margaret found disturbing. Helene told her that Lena had been at Webster Fields for almost eleven years or more.

Why would a woman love a man that long, willingly giving herself to him - at least she hoped it had been willingly - then give herself to another? But then, she was a slave…and maybe felt differently. True to fact, it wasn’t as if they were married or ever could be … at least not here …not in America. Yet what still remained, was time for Manny and Lena to build a strong bond, memories, history and a love between them.

A love she was certain her daughter had no means to break…despite the supposed betrayal. “Oh child, she has too many years with him. Too much history - where your memory, your history is one linked to heartache and an unforgivable trespass. It is never going to work Katherine, not in this lifetime. My God, what have you gotten yourself into?”