Questing Sucks! Book II (32 page)

“Rina hears lots of noise outside,” the girl said.

“Never mind that. It doesn’t concern you, child. Now, back to our game.”

The two were playing with toys of some kind. Mayor Rumpus mimicked the sound of a bee while he waved around a toy modeled after a dragon. The girl clapped and then picked up a model solider, smashing it repeatedly against the dragon.

“You got me, human!” the mayor growled, dropping his arm and making the dragon-shaped toy spiral around as it fell out of its flight to the carpeted floor. “Now you may have my treasure. You have won.”

“Rina wins!” the girl cheered. “Now you give Rina her treasure.”

“But of course. Ah, but first, you must put this on.” The mayor hopped to his feet and ran to one of his desks. He returned an instant later and retook his seat. He handed the child a clothespin. “It’s very smelly inside the dragon’s cave, so put this on your nose.”

Rina giggled. “Okay!”

Ghell entered the room, slowly. The task laid out before him seemed simple enough: kill the mayor and take the girl. Though he knew he was invisible to their eyes, he did his best not to alert them with sound. He took his time crossing the room, moving in easy, careful steps. He balanced his weight so that the mayor wouldn’t see the carpet sinking beneath his feet.

One step at a time, Ghell closed in on the mayor, who was now entertaining the girl by listing off all the imaginary treasure she’d looted from the dragon’s cave. Ghell grew thirsty for blood as he came closer, but he knew he couldn’t rush; if the mayor became alerted to his presence and called for help, a dozen soldiers would be in the room before he could so much as blink, and while he had a few tricks up his sleeve to slow their passage, he wouldn’t be able to hold them for long. With that in mind, he controlled his desire to kill and inched ever closer to where Mayor Rumpus sat on the floor across from the human girl, Rina.

He approached from behind. He would slit the mayor’s throat and then pause a moment—but only a moment—to let the little girl stare in mute terror as her little friend’s blood soaked the carpet and the light left his eyes. Then, just before she could scream, he’d nab her, cover her mouth, and exit through the window. This would be wonderful.

Coming close enough so that he stood but a few inches behind the seated mayor, Ghell knelt down, ready to make his fantasy a reality. The mayor was still laughing and describing in detail all the various gold and diamond jewelry the girl had won. Ghell extended his arms. He positioned his right hand so that, in just one swift motion, he could grab the mayor’s chin and lift it up while he sliced open his neck for a quick, clean, and easy kill.

You’re a lucky little man
,
Ghell thought.
If I had more time
,
I’d make you suffer for being the bearer of all that I want
.

Licking his lips, Ghell went in for the kill. In one fluid motion, with a speed he’d become proud of, Ghell grabbed the mayor’s chin while, with his other hand, he prepared to run the dagger across the mayor’s throat.

Then something happened. Ghell wasn’t sure what or why, but he felt the sensation of two hands grabbing him: one on his wrist and the other on his arm near his elbow. Then, before he had time to blink, Ghell felt the world turn upside down. Something slammed into him…the floor? He was on his back, staring up at the ceiling while the mayor looked down at him as if seeing past his illusion. It took Ghell a second to realize what had happened. Somehow, he’d been tossed over the mayor’s shoulder. But how? How had the little man managed to lift Ghell up and over his shoulders?

“What’s going on?” Rina shouted. “Rina heard a noise. Is this part of the game?”

The mayor smiled, and when he spoke, Ghell knew the man’s words were for him and not the girl. “Leave, child,” he said. “There’s a rat in the room and I need to kill it: a disgusting, smelly rodent.”

Rina puckered her lips. “But Rina doesn’t want to leave.”

“Leave!” the mayor shouted.

The girl must’ve noticed the urgency in the mayor’s voice, because she turned around to flee. Ghell jumped to his feet. There was no longer any point in maintaining the illusion, because clearly the mayor knew he was there.

He must’ve smelled me
.
All that time creeping around
,
and all it took was a few whiffs
.
He only pretended not to notice me
.
Damn him
!

Ghell dispelled the illusion. He’d need to concentrate his energy on combat now. The moment the little human girl saw him, she paused a moment before shrieking and continuing her dash towards the door.

“I don’t think so,” Ghell said.

He lunged at her and grabbed her arm just as the mayor retrieved a sword from a closet across the room and charged at him. The way the tiny man held his weapon told Ghell that, despite his size, he at least had some idea of how to use it, which meant Ghell needed both his hands to defend against this little warrior.

Ghell shoved Rina in the opposite direction of the door, positioning himself so that she couldn’t run around him and escape. Things could still go as planned; he had no idea how the mayor had managed to detect him by scent alone, nor did he understand how such a small person could toss him so easily over their shoulders, but regardless, now wasn’t the time to dwell on it.

“I don’t know who you are,” the mayor said. “But if you have come to harm this child, you will die trying! For I am Mayor Rumpus Pumpus, and I will slay you where you stand.”

Ghell spat on the elegant carpets. “I’ve taken craps bigger than you, Mayor Rumpus. And don’t you recognize me? I suppose not. I’ve changed.”

“Stay behind me, Rina.” The mayor held his blade high. “I will deal with this man, whoever he is.”

Loud banging came from the door. Soldiers shouted, asking the mayor if everything was okay. Ghell chanted under his breath, once again glad that at least
some
good had come of his death. A black, cloudlike mist settled over the door. It would bar the soldiers’ entry for at least a few minutes—certainly long enough for him to dispose of the dwarf-sized human and claim the girl.

“You use shadow magic,” Mayor Rumpus said. “Nasty stuff.” He twirled his blade. “Luckily for me, I come from a line of men and women who have dealt with practitioners of such disgusting arts.”

Ghell wasn’t sure if the mayor was being serious. “If you had something even close to a functioning brain, you’d turn around and flee. Or better yet, you’d let the little girl hold the sword. Even she’s bigger than you are.”

The mayor frowned. “I don’t appreciate being insulted for my height. I’ve had to deal with such insults since I was a child.”

At this, Ghell laughed. “I can see why. You’re not even half a man—you’re less than that.”

The mayor hissed, tightened his grip on his blade, and then ran straight for Ghell. This must’ve been some kind of joke. Ghell let out a bout of deep laughter, genuinely amused by the silly, yet furious look on the mayor’s face. What good could a tiny little thing like Mayor Rumpus do against him?

His question was answered as the mayor brought his blade down on Ghell’s dagger. The force of the collision was so great that the smaller weapon flew out of Ghell’s hands and rolled along the carpet a few times before coming still. A sharp pain in Ghell’s stomach indicated he’d been kicked—hard enough to make his eyes tear up. Ghell’s laughter ended at once.

The mayor raised his blade to strike. How did things go so wrong so quickly? It had all happened so fast, and he’d had no time to react. He never should’ve underestimated this man. And now, he was likely going to die for his error in judgment.

Fear entered him as he wondered how the Hawk would react should he fail a second time. The punishment would most certainly be an eternity in hell, and all because of a single moment of carelessness.

No
!
Gods be damned
!
This isn’t fair
!

Ghell trembled while he waited for the end to come. He thought of what excuse he’d use to explain his failure. Would the Hawk believe his lies? Did it even matter?

“Pick it up,” the mayor said. His blade was still raised above him, and Ghell, shaking with wild, uncontrollable fear, wondered why he was still alive.

“Pick it up,” the mayor repeated, briefly nodding at Ghell’s dagger, which rested on the floor a few feet away.

Ghell, even realizing how foolish it was to turn his back towards an enemy, spun around and ran towards his weapon, praying the mayor didn’t put his sword through his back while he fetched it. Ghell was so shaken with fear that it made him clumsy. He fumbled with the dagger and it took him two tries to pick it up. When he finally got a grip on his dagger, he spun back around to face the mayor, who was still standing in the exact same position with his sword held ready to strike.

“Why didn’t you kill me?” Ghell asked.

Mayor Rumpus laughed. “I’d never strike an unarmed man. Mark my words: you
will
die here, you foul thing, but it will be with a weapon in your hand. It’s the honorable thing to do.”

Ghell wasn’t exactly sure who—or what—he was dealing with, but he now had the sense he dealt with a foe who, despite his size, outclassed Ghell’s skill in combat in every conceivable way.

“You call yourself honorable?” Ghell asked, shifting his eyes between the door, the little girl huddled across the room, and the mayor. Things were suddenly looking far
more dire
than they had just a few minutes earlier. “I’d hardly consider things fair, considering you wield a sword and I a dagger.”

The mayor laughed. There was genuine delight in his eyes. “Ah, is that so? But what about my size? Surely a small thing like me has no chance against a big man like yourself, don’t I? No matter.” The mayor removed his right hand from his sword then pointed to a closet to his left. “Open that cabinet and pick any weapon in there of your choosing. Judging by the sound of my men pounding against the door, I’m guessing your filthy magic has bought you a few minutes to play with me.”

Ghell smiled, sensing an opportunity to turn things around. “Indeed, it has.”

“Then pick a weapon and stop whining.”

“Very well, I accept your challenge. But how do I know you will not strike me while my back is turned?”

“Because,” the mayor said, “I could’ve killed you ten times over already if I’d wanted to.”

Ghell made his way slowly over to the closet, keeping his eyes on the mayor, who while still a tiny little man, seemed to grow twenty feet in size. He knew it was just fear playing tricks on his mind, but it did little to calm his nerves.

“Good point.” Ghell reached the closet and placed his back against it. Feeling around for the handles, he opened it without turning around. “But if you are as honorable as you say, would you mind putting away your sword while I choose my weapon?”

The mayor nodded confidently. “Very well.” With an unexpected grace, he flicked his wrist, flipping his sword in the air before catching it by the hilt with the point of the weapon facing downwards. Ghell listened with glee to the sound of the mayor’s weapon sliding into the scabbard at his side.

Ghell knew he couldn’t resist smiling. So with a dramatic yet convincing gulp, he slowly turned around and began inspecting the various weapons in the mayor’s closet. There was an impressive selection: flails, great swords, katanas, and even bamboo staffs.

“I’ll tell you what,” Ghell said, still facing away. “For showing me this honor, which I clearly do not deserve, why don’t we let the girl go? If you fail to kill me, I can always hunt her down and come back for her later.”

Ghell couldn’t see the look on the mayor’s face, but he knew the man would be nodding. He was good at sizing up simple-minded fools; it was why he had been
so
successful as a commander in the Hawk’s army—until Alan Marshall, that was.

“That is a wise idea. Release your magic on the door, and I give you my word as a man and as a mayor that I will instruct my troops to stay out of our duel. Better yet, I will order them to let you go free if you manage to kill me.”

“Very well. She may leave.”

The mayor snapped his fingers, and Ghell listened to the sound of small feet tapping against the carpet. The next few moments were critical—he needed to be quick. He pretended to continue rummaging around the weapons cabinet while he listened intently to the sound of the girl’s footsteps. Everything hinged on the next few moments.

When he was sure the girl was directly behind him, he whirled around and, with all his strength, pushed her towards the mayor. The small human child shouted in surprise, as did the mayor, who caught her with both arms.

“What are you doing? I thought we had a deal!”

“I don’t make deals!” Ghell shouted.

He ran at the mayor with his dagger held in reverse grip—killing position. The mayor tossed the child aside, as Ghell knew he would, then reached for his sheathed blade. Ghell didn’t care how fast or exceptionally well trained the mayor was; Ghell was on him by the time the girl had been pushed aside to safety.

There was a flash in the mayor’s eyes—not of fear, but of acceptance. Ghell could see in the little man’s face that he knew he had lost. The mayor’s blade was halfway out of its scabbard, and rather than at least try to remove the weapon the rest of the way to parry Ghell’s dagger, he let his arm fall limply to his side and spoke his final words.