Read Bottom Up (15 page)

Date: Sat, May 17 at 4:24 PM

To: David Meyer

Okay, it's not like I want to go solo up there. I just don't know if the stress of bringing Madeline is worth it. She won't know anyone there, and it's still pretty new. Just doesn't feel like it'll be fun for anyone.

 

Subject: Re: (no subject}

From: David Meyer

Date: Sat, May 17 at 4:27 PM

To: Elliot Rowe

Got it.

 

Subject: Re: (no subject)

From: Elliot Rowe

Date: Sat, May 17 at 4:35 PM

To: David Meyer

Don't say “got it” like that. I can feel your judgement through my iphone screen.

 

Subject: Re: (no subject)

From: David Meyer

Date: Sat, May 17 at 4:40 PM

To: Elliot Rowe

I wasn't saying “got it” sarcastically, as if I don't believe that even on a subconscious level you have no desire to be in an intimate, rural environment with lots of alcohol with your ex-girlfriend who just said she was thinking about you. I meant “got it” in that I genuinely believe it would be stressful to have Madeline there. But I'm glad you're not defensive or anything.

 

Subject: Re: (no subject)

From: Elliot Rowe

Date: Sat, May 17 at 4:42 PM

To: David Meyer

Oh.

Got it.

I think I just need a little time to clear my head. A lot to process right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Subject: Re: Question!

From: Elliot Rowe

Date: Wed, May 21 at 5:43 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

Hey Hey,

I know we were supposed to hang tonight but mind if I just crash at my place? Still feeling a little under the weather—and like one more bad night's sleep won't help things.

Let's catch up this wknd.

 

 

 

--------Forwarded Message-------

Subject: Re: Question!

From: Elliot Rowe

Date: Wed, May 21 at 5:43 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

Hey Hey,

I know we were supposed to hang tonight but mind if I just crash at . . .

 

Subject: [Fwd: Re: Question!]

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Wed, May 21 at 5:50 PM

To: Emily Roberts

Umm. What is happening all of a sudden? Highlights include but are not limited to:

• Suddenly we need to “catch up” this weekend? What? Should we also “reconvene” while we're at it?

• We've spoken in between this but still. Feeling funky. Am I crazy to feel funky?

• End of bullet points, start of ice-cream smoking and cigarette eating.

 

Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]

From: Emily Roberts

Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:30 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

Okay. You're not crazy. This is weird. And right on the heels of Barbie's DreamHotel Sexfest™.

I don't know what to tell you. Except that boys need their space?

How are you feeling about it now?

x

 

Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:33 PM

To: Emily Roberts

Not great! I mean, do I require that he refer to our sex life as “making love”? No. But I'm a little insulted that he'd categorize it as a “bad night's sleep.” Oh, I'm sorry . . . are the blow jobs an inconvenience for you?

I have no idea how to respond to this.

 

Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]

From: Emily Roberts

Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:37 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

“Are the blow jobs an inconvenience for you?” . . . seems like a solid choice.

No, really, if you can muster up something a little less angry than that (all i know is do NOT be angry . . . you're not married . . . relationships at this juncture are volunteer positions.)

Keep it short and simple and breezy. Something you won't regret in case.

 

Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:37 PM

To: Emily Roberts

IN CASE OF WHAT?

 

Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]

From: Emily Roberts

Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:40 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

LADY:

You know in “What About Bob?” when Bill Murray has to “take a vacation from my problems”? Take some space for you while he's taking some space for him. Tell him no worries. And then . . . actually don't worry.

Baby steps out of the apartment.

E x

 

Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Wed, May 21 at 6:43 PM

To: Emily Roberts

Yeah, I know it. It's funny . . . suddenly everyone we know is getting married and able to spell “boutonniere” when they couldn't do it yesterday—and I think when Elliot and I joke about it, has this “us” vs. “them” effect. “Us” is the entity that thinks commitment is silly. “We” aren't like that! “We” are chill! “We” have icicles for hearts! “Them,” on the other hand, are the morons who think they can see forever. Who introduce people to their families too quickly. Who can't foresee the end of everything despite the fact that THERE HASN'T BEEN A CIVILIZATION ON EARTH, EVER, THAT HASN'T CRUMBLED.

Anyway I am a combination of “us” and “them.” I don't wake up seeing forever but I also acknowledge it as a real destination.

I guess it's all a roundabout way of saying that I feel like there's something here and I don't want to lose it. On the other hand, I don't want to be made the chump because I had the audacity to hope (thanks, Obama).

xo

P.S. Thanks for listening. You're good at this, you know?

 

Subject: Re: [Fwd: Re: Question!]

From: Emily Roberts

Date: Wed, May 21 at 7:15 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

I think the best thing I can do for you now is tell you to not indulge in this.

THINK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE. He sure as shit is.

x

P.S. Don't be weird. Respond to his email but be breezy and brief. You won't regret saying less right now.

P.P.S. You would be good at this too if you spent your days settling pushing fights between 7-year-olds.

 

 

 

Subject: Re: Question!

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Wed, May 21 at 7:30 PM

To: Elliot Rowe

Hey hey back—

Of course not. Totally understand. See you this weekend.