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After dinner, we hit a bar across the way and Jared is being REALLY flattering. He's telling me I'm some holy trifecta of clever and sophisticated and sexy. And because I've recently become accustomed to Elliot's scraps, to noting when his texts don't say “xx” . . . I fell for it.

Suddenly my friend and her husband cut out, 'cause obviously there's been a pow wow I have not been privy to. And about six seconds later, Jared leans over and kisses me. And I kiss him back. And we are basically mugging down in the bar and it's strange and guilt-inducing so I disengage. Then he's like “do you live near here?” And that's when I pulled the plug. Still . . . that happened.

 

Subject: Re: (no subject)

From: Emily Roberts

Date: Sat, Jun 14 at 12:02 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

Whoa. Holy boy drama Batman.

You want to know what I did last night? I met my sister and nieces for dinner, and sat at the worst “pub” bar ever (your newly refined food snob might take issue with cold mozzarella sticks) while my sister could literally not complete one sentence without either answering my nieces' questions or addressing them—“Are you enjoying Mommy's cheese stick?”

Then I went home, vacuumed, read 1/4th of a Talk of the Town piece, and passed out. Meanwhile, across town . . .

Are you going to tell Elliot? Because I don't think you should? In fact, I am going to skip the judgment and ask the hard questions: You made out with a guy with a Tibetan neck scarf? It's like I don't even know you anymore.

 

Subject: Re: (no subject)

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Sat, Jun 14 at 12:08 PM

To: Emily Roberts

Would it help if I told you it was a locally sourced Tibetan scarf and all the proceeds go to clean drinking water?

 

Subject: Re: (no subject)

From: Emily Roberts

Date: Sat, Jun 14 at 12:12 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

Probably not since the reason you know that is because this dude made sure you knew it . . . right before he stuck his tongue down your throat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Subject: Re: Greetings from Vermont!

From: Elliot Rowe

Date: Sun, Jun 15 at 12:02 PM

To: Madeline Whittaker

Earrrrrth to Madeline?

Getting hungover self to car and driving hungover self back to the city and attempting not to vomit tequila all over this rental in the process. Not sure where you are, but would like to cuddle up with your (presumably less hungover) self tonight . . . Be back in like 5 hrs.

xx

 

Subject: Re: Greetings from Vermont!

From: Madeline Whittaker

Date: Sun, Jun 15 at 1:45 PM

To: Elliot Rowe

Hey!

Sorry, it's been kind of a crazy weekend. Had to go into the office (fun) but then, in an effort to squeeze the most out of my weekend, wound up going out pretty late Friday night and then deciding it was a wise choice to do the whole thing all over again on Saturday night. So that's where I'm at mental-capacity-wise.

I'll text you in a bit. Looking forward to hearing a play-by-play of this wedding spectacular . . .

M x

P.S. I'm more of a table-to-farm girl myself. Trying to think of the matching joke: Something having to do with chucking silverware into a field.

 

 

 

 

    
Madeline