Ready to Wed (13 page)

Authors: J. L. Berg

BOOK: Ready to Wed

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He was already at my side, holding my hand. I saw his eyes flare with panic as he looked over my shoulder. He glanced up at Trish.

"We're going to have to keep her steady. He's already started."

There was no timeout. No waiting for the contraction to pass. Nope, that doctor just kept on doing what he was doing while I was expected to hold completely still through blinding pain. The fire seared up my spine and I gritted my teeth and let my head fall. Declan held onto my right side, and Trish took my left.

I whimpered through the pain, and as it lessened, the two of them were given the green light to release me. I saw Declan's fist instantly tighten in anger towards the doctor for causing me such trauma.

"Well, you're all done," the doctor said behind me, and I would have sucker punched him right alongside my husband for making me go through that, but then something magical occurred.

The epidural kicked in and it was blissful.

Every muscle in my body that had been rigid from pain suddenly relaxed.

I felt instantly relaxed for the first time since I woke up that evening.

God bless the epidural.

I was six centimeters, almost completely effaced and I was going to take a nap. For the next hour, I dozed in and out, letting my body rest and prepare for what was to come.

I'd seen every type of birth imaginable in my career as an OB nurse, and I'd found that woman were strong and incredibly fierce creatures. Did I think any less of myself for not going through with my labor naturally--hell no. I was delivering a child. No matter how it was done, the immeasurable strength of our gender was shown in this one singular act.

Every once in a while, epidurals seem to have this funny effect on women--I've seen it before when caring for patients and after my pleasant doze in dream land, my doctor noticed it as well.

"Leah, you're almost at ten centimeters," she announced as I groggily opened my eyes and watched her finish my internal exam. This part always made Declan super uncomfortable. For being such a man whore in his former life, you'd think the sight of one woman feeling up another wouldn't bother him, but I think the hospital setting shut off anything sexual and made him flee to the other side of the room.

"What? That's too fast, I'm not ready," I said, looking up at Dr. Pace, someone I'd worked with for years and been lucky enough to call a friend. When it came time to pick a doctor for this little surprise baking in my belly, there was no question as to whom I'd trust with the health of my unborn child.

"Well, sweets...I'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter. Like most moments from here on out--your little one is making that choice for you."

Declan was already by my side, taking a firm hold of my hand as he bent down to press his my lips to mine.

"Everything is going to be okay, Leah," Declan comforted, but as I watched the words tumble out of his mouth, his face began to distort and blur.

"I don't feel so good--"

~Declan~

Leah's eyes disengaged and her words dropped off mid-sentence and at that moment, I felt my heart plummet to the floor.

"I think she's about to pass out!" I yelled. Just as I began yelling, alarm bells rang from the millions of monitors hooked up to my wife and unborn daughter.

I couldn't breathe.

I looked at the monitors and saw spikes and red warnings flashing.

Trish and Dr. Pace began methodically and quickly silencing alarms and hooking up more tubes into more machines. Seconds later Leah had a mask over her mouth and I let out a strangled gasp, knowing I could do nothing to help.

"Declan."

I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. What if something happened to her--to both of them?

"Declan," Trish called out my name once again and this time I turned.

"She's going to be fine. Her blood pressure bombed. She's breathing oxygen now, and she and the baby are fine. I'm going to keep the mask on her throughout the rest of the delivery."

"She's okay?"

She placed a soothing hand on my shoulder, as I watched Leah open her eyes and turn towards me.

"Yes, they both are. See?"

I touched her hand briefly and nodded. "Thank you."

I rushed to Leah's bedside, grabbing her hand as I brought it to my lips.

"Seriously, don't do that again. I just saw my life flash before me."

"And what did you see?" she asked, her voice muffled behind the plastic of the mask.

"A life without Leah James is no life at all," I answered.

Her eyes crinkled and glistened. "Well, it's a good thing I'm too strong and stubborn to rid of so easily."

"Good."

My amazing wife showed just how strong she was over the next hour as she delivered out daughter into the world.

When I heard that magical sound of my daughter crying out for the first time after Dr. Pace had placed her on Leah's stomach, I knew I'd found heaven.

Seeing tears of joy streaming down Leah's face as she cradled our newborn child to her bosom for the first time, it was then that I found nirvana.

I used to think life was better spent on the sidelines. Don't get attached, don't feel--doing so only brings heartache and pain. It was only when I stepped away from the safety net I'd made for myself and was willing to get my hands dirty that I experienced what living could truly mean.

Life wasn’t about playing it safe, and it certainly wasn't easy, but I'd take whatever was left for a million more moments like this.

~Leah~

"Seriously, Declan--she just shoved cake up her nose!" I shouted from behind the camera lens.

"What? This is funny shit--I mean stuff," he laughed. Several of the other men in the family joined in while I pulled my head away from the expensive camera that had been attached to my body since the day Lily arrived home from the hospital and gave him a dirty look.

His lazy sexy grin killed my death stare on contact.

Damn it, why did it have to be so hot all the time?

He sauntered over to me, squeezing between Clare and Logan and several other family members and pulled me into his arms. The camera was taken out of my hands and given to Garrett to resume picture duty.

"Come one babe. She only turns one once. Let her destroy the cake."

I looked over at Lily, sitting in her highchair, surrounded by loved ones. Her face was aglow as she messily ate mouthfuls of chocolate cake off her chubby palms. Globs of pink and white frosting stuck to her cheeks, arms and most of her chest.

"Well, at least I had the forethought to take her out of her dress," I muttered.

"See--smartest mom ever."

I smiled as he bent down to place a chaste kiss on my ruby red lips. The wicked look in his eyes promised it was just the prelude to an evening of so much more.

I turned in his arms and watched as our little girl continued to demolish her chocolate confections. Declan wrapped his arms around my waist and I leaned into his broad chest.

"You don't have to take five thousand pictures Goober," I said, after hearing my digital camera click for the millionth time.

"Well, you handed the thing off to me. I just wanted to make sure I was doing a good job."

"You're doing a fantastic job. You'll be a pro by the time your own kids come around," I said.

"Yeah, that's never going to happen," he answered gruffly.

"Oh come on Garrett! You can't be married to work forever. We need to get you out more. Why don't you go out with me one of these days. Oh I know--I'm going to the Farmer's Market next week. Want to come with the kids and me? I see young hotties there all the time."

"Sure, farmer's market. Sounds awesome."

I rolled my eyes at his flippant comment. He needed to do something--anything, but sulk in that cramped office of his. He was disappearing more and more as the years dragged on and even though he was closer since moving home from college, somehow we seemed to see him less.

"You can't force him to have a life Leah," Declan whispered against my ear with amusement lacing his hushed tone.

"No, but I can nudge."

"You just can't help but meddle, can you?"

"Can you blame me for wanting everyone in my life happy?" I turned, grinning up at him as he laced his hands around my waist.

"And Connor and Maddie? What exactly is that?" he asked, arching his brow.

"That's just a gentle nudge. They'd make the cutest grand babies."

"That's kind of fucked up babe--they're kids. Seriously, keep it up and they won't be able to look at each other later on without cringing." His amusement was growing by the second.

"Nope, you're wrong. I'm just laying the foundation for a beautiful love affair."

"Uh huh. We will see."

As if our conversation had summoned the two future lovebirds, Maddie and Connor came rushing by, reaching for cookies and snacks on their drive by through the kitchen.

"Woah there," Clare said, halting both of them in their tracks. "Where are you two off to in such a hurry?"

"Connor was going to show me his new Harry Potter wand in his room and then we were going to play video games," Maddie answered.

I turned back toward my husband, giving him doe eyes and made a small heart in the air with my fingers. He rolled his eyes.

Clare shifted her stance, as the wiggly toddler in her arms reached out for the cookies his sister was dangling in front of him.

"Okay," she managed to get out before Maddie took ahold of Connor's hand and they attempted their escape "But make sure you come back down when I call!" Clare shouted after them.

She gave me an exasperated, frazzled look and I laughed. I'd watched her be a mother long before I'd taken the role on myself and it was nice to finally have these moments where we could share in the craziness together.

I looked back at my one-year old daughter, covered in frosting and cake, giggling with glee as our friends and family watched with pride. I never thought I'd have a family of my own--children I could love and love me in return. Declan had given me a life I'd secretly always wanted.

"You did this Leah," he whispered in my ear. "You filled the emptiness in my heart and gave me a family, a home and a soulmate. He brought our joined hands to the spot where his tattoo lay etched into his chest, a celtic knot, now bearing my initial.

"We did this," I amended. "Together."

I wrapped my arms around my husband and smiled as we watched our daughter further destroy the beautifully crafted confectionary masterpiece.

Family, friends and someone to share your soul with, that's all you need in life.

Well, and maybe a bit of cake.