Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans (3 page)

“You
could
leave them to it, but you won’t.” Jerry turned to stare into the living room. “I see no way for this to be resolved without you getting hurt.” He faced me again and shook his head. “Demons play dirty, you know that. Alesa will make sure you have naught to do with Rafael if she wants him for her babe’s father.”

“You’re right. Yet here she is. At my home, asking for my help.” I bit my lip. Was I being set up? Alesa hated me. I’d
humiliated her in her world, keeping her trapped in my body far longer than most hosts would have managed, according to the other demons I’d met. And Lucifer wasn’t crazy about me either. Had he sent her here to get even with me? I’d managed to best him the last time we’d met. I knew he’d been pissed off about that. And when you pissed off the Devil…

“Tell her to leave. To take her brat and deal with Valdez elsewhere.” Jerry grabbed my shoulders. “It’s the only way you’ll be safe.”

We both turned at the knock on the door. I really needed to breathe. I’d missed the smell warning of Jerry’s arrival and now Rafe had managed to sneak up on me.

“Well, he’s here now. Let’s see how this plays out.” I touched Jerry’s cheek. “No matter what, please don’t pull out a knife again. That will only make things worse.”

“You’ve got two demons in your home and another one on the way. How could things get worse, Gloriana?” Jerry strode toward the door.

He just had to ask, didn’t he?

“W
hat
the hell is a demon doing here?” Rafe asked as soon as I got the door open.

“That’s exactly what I said.” Jerry grabbed the sacks of fast food and took them into the living room. “I can guess who these are for. Don’t breathe, Gloriana, you know this food is torturing you.”

“Tell me about it.” I followed him, helpless as I inhaled salt and fat anyway. I couldn’t keep back a moan. “I swear I would kill for a french fry.”

“I’m not sharing, even if you could eat real food.” Alesa smirked. “I’m starved.”

“You’re lucky anyone bothered to get that for you, demon. Glory never should have let you in the door.” Jerry dropped the sacks on my coffee table.

“I didn’t tell Rafe who it was for. And I had to let her in. She threatened me and I know she can follow through, Jerry.” I snatched the large chocolate shake from Rafe to get a whiff of chocolate and ice cream. Too bad someone who didn’t deserve it was getting this pleasure.

“I don’t believe it.” Rafe had just spotted Alesa, who still lay stretched out on the sofa. “Call a priest.”

“Believe it, lover boy. And you won’t want a priest once you see the gift I brought you.” Alesa patted her tummy. Demon magic. She now wore a pink maternity top with silver letters and an arrow that said “Baby,” in case there was any confusion about why her stomach was the size of a soccer ball.

Rafe looked at me, then Blade. “Are you kidding me?”

“No, I’m not.” Alesa got to her feet, suddenly flashing red eyes and fangs. “I’m pregnant, Rafael. With your child. You’re going to be a daddy. Deal with it.”

“No, hell no. You’re lying.” Rafe put up his hands and backed away from her. “I never slept with you. Not in hundreds of years anyway. We’ve had this conversation. You couldn’t pay me to fuck you this century, demon, and that’s a fact.”

Alesa’s eyes brimmed with tears. “No reason to be mean about it. And get a clue. You did sleep with me. When I was inside Glory here. You two went at it like sex-starved teenagers. See it all the time down there in hell. It’s one of Lucifer’s favorite shows—
Nymphos Gone Wild
.” Alesa rolled her eyes. “Quantity not quality, if you ask me. But no one ever does.” She glanced at Jerry and back to Rafe. Both men looked ready to blow.

“Shut up, Alesa.” I didn’t have to read Jerry’s mind to know she’d painted a picture for him that I’d never be able to erase with words. In moments she’d undone months of work to get our relationship back on track. I itched to strangle her until she couldn’t wheeze out one more incriminating word. But among her nasty powers was the ability to freeze me where I stood. Her gaze flicked over me and a jolt of her power hit me like a lash.

“What Glory and I did had absolutely nothing to do with you, demon. And the idea that you somehow witnessed our lovemaking sickens me.” Rafe just had to say that. I didn’t dare look at Jerry.

Alesa smirked at me. “Sorry. Lovemaking. Guess bunnies in heat call it that too.” She poked Rafe in the middle of his
black and red N-V T-shirt. “And your swimmers obviously still have what it takes to make a baby.” She waved a hand down to her stomach. “Exhibit A.”

“Shit. I don’t have to listen to this.” Jerry headed for the door.

“Jerry, wait.” I grabbed his arm. “You knew what happened. Alesa’s exaggerating. It wasn’t like that.”

“Spare me the excuses, Gloriana. I don’t want to hear them.” Jerry looked down to where I held his arm. His muscles flexed under his short-sleeve shirt. I could see them tighten in his jaw too. He avoided looking at Rafe. That was progress. In the past, he’d have lunged for my friend and pounded him again for what we’d done. Thank God he’d never lay a finger on a woman, but I could see in his eyes that he wanted to flatten Alesa for reminding him.

“Jerry, please. You know I love
you
. I thought we’d gotten past this.” I tried to pull him into the kitchen for a little privacy. He let me take him as far as the dining area.

“Unless you’re going to tell Valdez to take this elsewhere, we’re obviously not past this. Am I wrong?” Jerry looked me in the eyes, daring me to tell Rafe to take his demon and go somewhere, anywhere but here, to thrash this out.

“I can’t just turn my back on this. I was there, involved. Can’t you see that?” I let go of his arm. Honestly, I was the one who’d made love with Rafe. If that somehow got him tied to Alesa, didn’t that make me an accomplice or something?

“Gloriana, obviously the demon manipulated things. Is still determined to manipulate all of us. Don’t let her.” Jerry put his hand on my chin and made me look at him again. “I’m calm now. I’m here for you. Actually feeling sorry for the poor bastard.” He jerked his head toward Rafe.

I heard a grumble from Rafe in the living room.

“Thanks, Jerry.” I smiled with relief to hear him being so sensible. Before he’d made me look into his eyes, I’d been staring at his chest, at the white cotton shirt that was unbuttoned just enough to make me want to finish the job. I doubt
if he’d done that deliberately, Jerry didn’t think that way. But it worked just the same. He looked sexy to me, always had. But that wasn’t why I was determined to salvage our relationship.

“It’s Valdez’s problem, not yours.” Jerry pulled me close. “Stay out of it.”

“Give me a few minutes to think. This was big news.” I felt Alesa and Rafe waiting and tugged Jerry back into the living room. Rafe clearly wanted me to let Jerry take off. Alesa wanted Rafe to herself. I wasn’t about to go with either of those options.

“Think about
this
. It sounds like from what I heard just now that you were a victim. That when Alesa possessed you it was part of the demon’s plan to use Valdez as a sperm donor. Everything is clear to me now. Obviously you never really wanted Valdez; the demon worked her wiles to attract you to him. So she could have his baby.” Jerry grabbed onto this theory like a life raft that could save our relationship. And it was tempting to go with it. But not the truth. I knew the attraction had been alive and well without Alesa along for the ride.

Rafe had a wry look on his face when I glanced at him. “You going to say you never wanted me, Glory? Go ahead. Let Blade finally feel less threatened by the shifter he hired as your bodyguard.”

“Threatened? By God, the day a shifter makes me shake in my boots is the day I walk into the sun.” Jerry’s look was pure Highland arrogance.

“Settle down, both of you.” I sighed. “Look, I can’t lie about it, even if it would make my life much less complicated.” I rested my hand on Jerry’s sleeve. “I’m sorry, but I was drawn to Rafe long before Alesa came on the scene. I hate to hurt you like this, Jerry, but that’s the God’s honest truth. Yes, Rafe and I are friends, but there were sparks between us, chemistry, that Alesa had nothing to do with.” It felt good to get that off my chest. Stupid maybe, but good. Jerry could usually see through my lies anyway.

“Chemistry? Well, you can just forget scratching that itch, Glory St. Clair. Rafe is off limits now. He’s mine.” Alesa growled and pushed into our circle, resting a claw on Rafe’s shoulder. “We’re starting a family.”

Rafe was on the other side of the room before any of us could blink. “Yours?” He couldn’t have looked more disgusted. “I don’t know what kind of kinky scenario you’ve worked up in your warped brain, but I’m not and never will be yours, Alesa. Get it?” He shook his head. “Damn, I’m sorry, Glory. Blade’s right about one thing. I need to get her out of here. You don’t deserve to have her polluting your atmosphere.”

“And do what with her, Rafe?” I stayed out of claw range. “Alesa, have some pride. He doesn’t want you. Give it up, girl. Take this mythical baby bump and peddle your story somewhere else. You have to know we’re not buying it.”

Alesa’s eyes filled with tears that oozed, dark and slimy, down her face. “It’s not mythical. This baby’s real. And I have nowhere else to go. Rafael
is
the father.” She glared at him where he stood rigid against the door out to the hall. “Obviously he plans to be a deadbeat dad. No surprise there. Demons are notorious. What was I thinking?” She sniffed and wiped her nose on the back of her hand. “Maybe I should go to your grandfather, Rafael. What will he say when I lay this story on him?”

“You leave my family out of this.” Rafe shoved away from the door. He looked as scary as I’d ever seen him.

“Calm down, Rafe. I think we need more information.” I jumped between them. I didn’t like the idea of a fight with a pregnant woman involved no matter how I despised her.

“She’s right. Demon or not, you need to step up if the babe is yours.” Jerry stared at Alesa’s stomach. “Though I can’t credit how it could be possible.”

“Exactly. It’s a damned fairy tale.” Rafe hit his leg with his fist.

“Think what you like. Food’s getting cold.” Alesa huffed and pulled open a sack to unwrap one of the hamburgers.
“I’m starved and all this drama’s not good for the baby. Sit down, everyone. I need to eat. I’m getting woozy.”

I looked from Jerry to Rafe. To my surprise, they both seemed inclined to follow Alesa’s suggestion. They each took a chair, staring hard at the demon as she wolfed down two burgers and a large order of fries. By the time she slurped down her chocolate shake, I was ready to scream.

“I don’t believe a word you’ve said since you walked in that door.” I’d pulled Penny’s computer chair over to the living room while Alesa ate. Now when I jumped up it rolled back until it slammed against a bookshelf. I stomped over to stand next to the couch.

“Tough. I’m telling the truth. Deal with it.” Alesa licked chocolate off her lips.

I reached down and jerked up her shirt. Well damn. Her stomach really was swollen, looking like pictures of pregnant women I’d seen in magazines, the ones who’d worn bikinis to proudly show off their tummies.

“Satisfied?” Alesa grinned and pulled down her stretchy maternity pants so we could see her stomach all the way to the edge of her tiny panties and her Brazilian wax job. “Little Rafael here is growing every day. Kicking and everything. I’ve been reading up on it. He’s right on schedule.”

Little Rafael. I might throw up. No way had this really happened. I shook my head and must have looked as bad as I felt because Blade was suddenly on one side of me and Rafe on the other, both of them carefully easing me toward my bedroom.

“Get a cool cloth for her face. I think she’s going to pass out,” Rafe ordered.

“You get it. I’m taking off her shoes and unsnapping her jeans. She always wears them too tight. And what the hell is this on her head?” Jerry reached for my turban.

“She’s conditioning her hair. Does it about twice a year. Don’t mess with it.” Rafe obviously had gone for the washcloth because the next thing I knew I was on the bed, shoes off, pants unzipped and something wet on my face.

“Are you all right, sweetheart?” Jerry held my hand.

“Did I pass out?” I blinked up at him after I pulled off the washcloth.

“Yes, you did.” Rafe stood right behind Jerry. “Alesa’s still on your sofa. I’ll get her out of here if I have to carry her. I figure this is my mess, I’ll deal with it.”

“Glad to hear it. When she originally came to Austin to find you, she was spouting nonsense about an anniversary. That’s how she got inside Gloriana in the first place. This all started with you and an ill-advised alliance with the demon.” Jerry squeezed my hand.

“I know. I married her when I was young and stupid. Got the thing annulled as fast as I could.” Rafe glanced toward the living room. “Alesa’s just stubborn enough to refuse to accept that. But she’ll have to accept that Glory’s no part of this latest scam of hers. Somehow I’ll make this go away.”