Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans (7 page)

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Authors: Gerry Bartlett

Tags: #Glory St. Clair#8

BOOK: Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans
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Aggie wiggled her perfect nose. When the Siren was in human form, she had perfect everything—from her size six figure, tonight poured into a pair of skinny jeans and a teal sweater, up to her long blond hair and sea green eyes.

“Yuck. Are you kidding me? More demon trouble? What now?” She grabbed my arm with nails done in a ruby red. “I thought you sent them all back to hell.”

“I did. But it’s that demon Alesa. She claims she’s pregnant. With Rafe’s child. I know you don’t want to see her, do you?” I remembered the last time the two had met. Aggie has this great power where she can turn people to stone. It’s her pride and joy. Well, Alesa can do it too. Oh, yeah. She’d stuck Aggie in her place and taunted her. It was not a happy moment.

“No way.
You
called
me
, you know. Tell me what you want me to do and I’ll meet you somewhere else when that bitch isn’t around. No demon ever again.” Aggie tossed her hair and gave my door a glare that should have sent it up in flames. If it had been Alesa throwing the look, it would have. “Man, I bet Rafe is beyond freaked. But what was he thinking? Sleeping with that skank?”

“He didn’t sleep with her. It’s a long story. Baby’s probably not even his. Who takes Alesa’s word for anything?”

“Oh, I hear that.” Aggie waved her hand in front of her
face. “I’m out of here. The reek of that demon is getting to me. What did you say you wanted?”

“I need a blood sample from you. For an experiment. Do you mind?” I eased her toward the stairs. I knew Alesa had batlike hearing and she didn’t need to be in on this. Luckily I could hear an ad for a wonder diaper that was sure to have her riveted. One change a day? Who wouldn’t be glued to the tube?

I pulled Aggie to the top of the stairs. “The doctor is on his way to see Alesa. He’s a vampire, the same one doing this experiment. Would you let him take some of your blood? Just a bit?”

“Fangs or a needle?” Aggie gave me a narrow-eyed look.

“Needle, of course. If he bit you, he’d swallow. It’s what we do, you know. And I bet you’d be delicious.” I hid my smile as Aggie paled. “Come on now, I know you’re not afraid of vampires. You sure showed Ray and me who was boss when we met you.” Aggie had trapped Ray and me in an Austin lake and put us through our paces once when she’d been cursed by an angry goddess. It was a miracle that we were on speaking terms.

“No, I can handle vamps as you know. But I really, really hate needles, Glory.” Aggie shook her head. “And why are you helping this guy?”

“This from a powerful Siren who can make men quiver with terror? Or fall at her feet with lust?” I couldn’t help it. I grinned. “He’s my fledgling’s boss. Come on, girlfriend. One little stick. Do it as a favor to me. This will help Penny’s career. Cooperate and I’ll talk to Flo. The three of us can go shoe shopping together.”

“At the mall?” Aggie’s eyes lit up. There was nothing she wanted more than to have girlfriends. Seems she missed her Siren sisters since she was stuck way over here in an Austin lake most of the time. The rest of the girls were in the Mediterranean, Siren Central apparently. Aggie was being punished and Austin was considered a serious downgrade in Siren terms.

Flo had invited her to be a bridesmaid in her wedding but hadn’t spoken to her since. Aggie isn’t exactly good company, always threatening to turn you to stone if you don’t do things her way. We were going to have to work on her social skills.

I felt guilty, playing on her feelings that way. But she’d done some really dirty tricks to me and to Ray, so I pushed down the guilt and went with the plan. And, hey, I
would
arrange the shopping trip. She’d love it. It would be a nice evening for her, and Flo owed Aggie. The Siren had done a decent job throwing a wild bridal shower when Flo had scraped the bottom of the bridesmaid barrel. My bud Flo doesn’t exactly make girlfriends either. Obviously I have interesting friends.

“Yes, we’ll hit the mall and every shoe store there. Cute boots. Suede platforms. What do you say? Isn’t a little needle stick worth it for some female bonding? Maybe we’ll stop by Rafe’s club after and you can pick up someone to dance with.” I got her to the bottom of the stairs and punched in the security code to open the door on… hello, Ian.

“Who’s this?” He smiled and gestured for his guards to move on up the stairs. Aggie watched them go, appreciating the way they filled their tight jeans before focusing on Ian. Her eyes widened and she batted her long lashes. The woman didn’t believe in easy on the mascara.

“Aglaophonos, but call me Aggie. I’m a friend of Glory’s.” She held out her hand. “And you are?”

“Ian MacDonald. I’m the doctor she may have told you about.” Ian raised a brow at me. “I sense that you are a Siren. Fascinating.”

“Yes, Sirens are that. If you haven’t tried one…” Aggie did a hair toss and pulled back her shoulders so that her impressive boobs, showcased in cashmere knit, couldn’t be missed. Not that Ian had missed them. “Well, let me say this.” She licked her lips. “We have a certain reputation for seduction. And we’ve earned it. Google us.” Her smile was an invitation for more than an Internet search and I fanned
myself while the two sent each other scorching mental messages. Whew.

“Dial it down, Aggie. Ian’s here to see Alesa. The pregnant demon upstairs?” I tugged on Aggie’s elbow. “I just asked Aggie about the blood sample, Ian. Well? Are you willing to let Ian stick you? With a needle?” I wanted to laugh at the look on her face. She was torn. Fear of needles versus hot doctor. The battle didn’t last long.

“Sure, why not? You won’t hurt me, will you, Doctor?” She leaned in. “But then if it’s for a good cause…” She smiled and ran a fingernail down his bicep. “I never did get to play doctor as a, um, child.” Aggie as a child? My mind boggled.

“I promise to make it painless.” Ian grinned, clearly interested. He put his card into her hand. “If I didn’t have a patient waiting, I’d definitely be all yours right now. For any games you wished to play.” Ian winked at me.

I rolled my eyes. “Why don’t you two set a date? I’m going upstairs before Alesa takes off. She’s reluctant to let you examine her, Ian. She’s going to take some convincing.” I headed up the stairs. I could hear more flirting going on behind me. Seriously? Did Aggie not care that she sounded like a slut? Oh, wait, that was in the Siren job description. Along with luring sailors to their deaths. Of course that was old-school. Aggie had confided that new technology had made the Siren business more difficult. So her boss, the Storm God, was working on a new game plan. I shuddered to imagine what it could be. A Siren app?

Ian caught up with me. He was chuckling as he reached around me to open my door. His bodyguards took up posts on either side of it. He ordered them to stay outside unless he called for them.

“Aggie’s quite a character.”

“Yes, she is. Be careful around her. She can turn you to stone if you displease her.”

“So can I, Doc.” Alesa had moved to the sofa, her shoes
off, her empty ice cream carton and spoon making a puddle on my lacquered table.

“Then I’ll have to be careful, won’t I, Miss Alesa?” Ian set his black bag down on the table then handed me the carton and spoon.

“Who says I’m going to let you anywhere near me?” Alesa gave me a dirty look when I grabbed a cloth and quickly wiped up her spill. I gave her the same look back. “Glory and Rafe think they can get rid of me and my baby. They can think again.” She used the remote to turn off the TV.


Is
there a baby?” Ian sat in a chair across from her. “Perhaps proving that should be your first step. That would be a fine slap in the face to Glory here and Valdez. That is who you claim is the father.”

“I don’t just claim that. He is my baby’s daddy.” Alesa swung her feet to the floor and sat up. “You doubting me?”

“Don’t get huffy. I’m offering you a way to prove some things. That puts me on your side, I would think.” Ian smiled. “Watch the anger. It’s not good for the baby. If there is one.”

Alesa put her hand on her swollen belly. “There is one. Feel.” She gestured for Ian to join her on the couch.

I sat in a chair, afraid to say anything as Ian walked over and sat beside her. He let Alesa take his hand and put it over her tummy.

“Well, I do feel something. Let me use my stethoscope to listen for a fetal heartbeat.” He frowned as he moved his hand over her brown knit maternity top.

“Guess listening couldn’t hurt.” Alesa watched him carefully as he opened his bag and pulled out his stethoscope. He fixed it around his neck, put the ends in his ears and began to listen. When he pulled up her shirt, Alesa didn’t object, just let him move the stethoscope around on her taut skin.

She finally couldn’t stand his silence or the look of concentration on his face. “Well, what do you hear?”

“There’s a lot of echo. I’m not sure what I hear. Could be
gas, could be heartbeats.” Ian pulled down her top. “I need a blood sample. Increased hormones in the blood are a great indicator of pregnancy.”

“Wait. Heartbeats. Like more than one?” I just couldn’t keep quiet. This was, like, my worst fear. Multidemons.

“I said I couldn’t really tell, Glory.” Ian pulled out a syringe like the one he’d used on me a few days ago. “I need more information. Blood first, then an ultrasound.”

“Whoa, whoa. I never said I’d let you stick me with a needle. Or look up my hoo-ha either.” Alesa obviously wasn’t keen on giving blood. “And what’s an ultrasound?”

“Relax. I’m just going to take a little blood. All you’ll feel is a tiny prick. And the ultrasound is painless, not invasive at all. It will give us a picture of what’s going on in your womb.” Ian pushed up Alesa’s sleeve and stuck her as if she’d given permission. I had to give him credit for guts. I wouldn’t have poked a demon like that. Of course I wondered if he’d ever seen one in action like I had.

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not scared for myself. But I’ve got a baby on board.” Alesa watched black blood fill a vial. “Pretty, isn’t it?”

“Careful with that blood, Ian. That’s how she got inside me. Her blood seeped into my open wound.” I glared at her. “Having her in my body was hell and that’s no exaggeration.”

“Wimp.” Alesa smirked.

“Explain to me how you could get pregnant when you weren’t physically present.” Ian pulled out the needle, wiped off the puncture wound with a sterile pad, then watched as the spot healed. He nodded then carefully put away the blood-gathering gear and this time actually pulled an electronic pad out of his doctor’s bag and fired it up.

“Well…” Alesa smiled and sat back. “This is where I got really clever. I was nearing the end of my fertile time. Demons only have a certain number of years to get pregnant, you know.”

“No, I didn’t. How many would you say?” Ian began typing rapidly.

I tuned them out as they talked about demons and life in hell. I didn’t care, didn’t want to know. Because what if that was what I’d been before Jerry had turned me? No, I wouldn’t believe it. I didn’t have that sweet smell for one thing. And my blood wasn’t black sludge. Of course Rafe was part demon and he didn’t have either of those attributes. Oh, God.

A demon taint might explain why Lucifer had taken a strange fancy to me, though. No. Since I’d been turned, I’d gone to church, handled holy water, done lots of things that my buddy Rafe, kind soul that he was, wouldn’t dare. And Ian had compared my blood to Rafe’s without finding a match. Okay then. Not demon.

“I’ll do it.” Alesa shook Ian’s hand. “When?”

“Tomorrow night if the equipment gets here as promised. Penny can tell Glory where I live and work.” Ian put his pad away and turned to me. “Can you bring Alesa to my house?”

“She’s going to do the ultrasound?” I really had spaced out.

“That’s what I said. Are you driving me or do I need to get Rafael, on a busy Saturday night, to abandon his club and take me?” Alesa sighed. “He’s going to have to support a family now. I really think he should tend to his business.”

“I have a business too, you know.” I didn’t like the way my own interests were being dismissed. “Saturday is a big night for us in the shop.”

“I would have Penny bring her, but it’s her night off. She’s going to the UT football game, to see her sister on the cheerleading squad.” Ian shook his head. “Your fledgling is positively wholesome, isn’t she, Glory?”

“Gag me.” Alesa got up and walked into the kitchen. “I want chips and salsa. Sorry you two can’t join me.”

“I just bet you are. Do your eating in the kitchen.” I turned to Ian. “I’m glad Penny is going to the game. She needs to do some normal college things instead of spending
her whole life hunched over a microscope.” I rubbed the back of my neck, tight with strain. This whole thing—Alesa here, worrying about Rafe, not to mention thinking about how Jerry was going to take my working with Ian—was giving me another headache. “I’ll arrange things so I can take Alesa.”

“Great. You obviously are feeling the stress of this and your other situation.” Ian nodded toward the kitchen. “I won’t mention it here but with Aggie’s sample and now Alesa’s, I feel I’m close to the truth about you.” He opened his black bag. “Don’t suppose I can interest you in a pain reliever for that headache.” He held out a packet with a pill inside.

“No, no drugs.” I rolled my neck. “And I’m still not interested in Clarity either.” There was a noise outside the door. Thumps, groans, then the door crashed open.

“What the hell is going on here?” Jerry strode over, not waiting for Ian to move. He knocked the packet out of Ian’s hand then shoved him against the wall. A picture I’d really liked fell to the floor, the frame cracking. “Trying to drug her again, MacDonald?”

“Jerry, stop!” I jumped up and landed behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Ian’s here as a doctor. Stop acting like a Campbell and listen to me.”

Ian threw Jerry’s hands off of him. “Listen to you? That’s too reasonable for a man like Jeremiah Campbell. No, I forget. Jeremy
Blade
. That’s the asinine name you gave yourself a century ago.” Ian laughed. “Can’t say I blame you. Who wouldn’t want to be shed of the Campbell curse?”

“Why you—” Jerry lunged, but I got between them.

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