Reason to Breathe (28 page)

When I was behind the closed door, I tried to
figure out how I was going to get through there again. I inspected
the other side of the basement, hoping there was a door that
connected to the pool table side, but was disappointed. The only
other door was a bulkhead that led to the backyard. Was I that
desperate?

“There you are.” I spun around and found Jake
closing the door behind him.

“Hi Jake,” I responded casually, trying to
conceal my anxiety.

“I’ve wanted to talk to you all night,” he
confessed while approaching me. “But I didn’t really want to do it
here.” He presented the dingy surroundings, sounding overly cocky.
“Let me show you around the house, and we can find somewhere
private to…” he paused before adding, “talk.” He smirked like it
was an inside joke. Everything suddenly made sense. I remained
still, catching myself before dropping my mouth wide open in
shock.

“Uh, well…” I stumbled, looking past him to
the closed door. “Thanks, but I don’t need a tour. We can talk at
the bar?”

“I was hoping for some place with less
people.” He winked. No way, again?! I couldn’t help myself; the
words were coming out of my mouth before I could stop them.

“Who are you?” I questioned, aghast at his
boldness.

“What?” he questioned in shock.

“This is a hook up party, isn’t it?” It came
out more as an accusation than a question. I couldn’t believe how
long it had taken me to figure it out.

“Whatever happens, happens,” he said with a
devious smirk. I remained dumbfounded by his arrogance.

“And so you decided to invite
me
?” I
questioned, unable to imagine how that made sense.

“Why not?” he asked, not catching on, still
overly confident.

“You obviously don’t know me,” I bit, unable
to conceal my disgust. “Why would you think I’d want to hook up
with
you
?”

“Ouch,” he replied, not looking pleased
anymore.

Before I could say anything else that would
make me not want to show my face in school again, I hurried past
him to discover that the door was open. Evan stood in the frame,
with his hand still on the handle. I didn’t know how long he’d been
listening, but it must have been for most of it because he greeted
me with his amused grin.

“You are so dead,” I threatened as I pushed
past him. It only added to his amusement as he let out a small
laugh.

“Hey, Emma,” Drew started when he saw me
approaching. Then he looked at my face, which hid nothing, and
asked, “What happened?”

“Were you in on this too?” I bit.

I didn’t wait for his answer as I rushed up
the stairs and found Sara and Jason talking in the kitchen with
their jackets on.

“Can we please go?” I pleaded. “This is too
weird.”

“We were just coming to get you,” Sara
admitted. “I was wondering how long it was going to take for you to
want to leave. Let’s go back to my place.”

“Sure,” Evan agreed from behind me.

I turned sharply and snapped, “I don’t think
she was inviting
you
.” Sara’s eyes widened at my attack. I
continued down the hall to retrieve my jacket from the closet.

Sara and Jason headed to Sara’s car while I
paced myself a step ahead of Evan to his.

After he shut his door, he said, “I should
have warned you. I’m sorry.”

“Evan, you knew, and you still let me come
here?” I yelled.

“I knew nothing was going to happen. I wasn’t
afraid you were going to do anything, and I hoped that you’d let
Jake see you’re not into him – which you definitely did. I’m so
sick of hearing him talk about…” He stopped himself.

“I’m sorry, really.” His face was serious and
his eyes soft, forcing my anger to dissipate.

“Fine, you can come over to Sara’s.” I still
found it difficult to be upset with him for very long.

After we pulled out of the driveway, my
stomach shot out a charge that caused my heart to stammer. “Evan,
where were you?
And
you said you’ve been to one of his
parties before. Are you serious? Did you… who… no way.” My voice
grew louder with each unfinished question.

Evan laughed.

“Forget it, it’s none of my business,” I
murmured quietly, looking out the window. I was tormented by the
possibilities.

“Relax. Jake was trying to keep me
distracted
by introducing me to some girls, so he could talk
to you. He was pissed that I was there. He knew you’d bring Sara,
and she’d probably bring Jason, but he wasn’t expecting me. So I
was just
talking
- like you were with Drew Carson, right?”
My heart skipped a beat.

“I’ve only been to one other party of Jake’s,
and I didn’t know what they were all about when accepted the
invite. I didn’t…” He had a hard time finding the words. I turned
to look at him, realizing he couldn’t tell me what he’d done.

“Really?” I accused in shock.

“It’s not what you think,” he defended. “I’d
rather not get into details.” We were quiet for a moment. I stared
out the window at the silhouetted trees and the occasional up-lit
house.

“Does that really bother you?” he finally
asked.

“What?”

“That I may have kissed a girl or whatever at
one of Jake’s parties?”

I hesitated before answering. “I didn’t think
you were like that,” I replied softly.

“I’m not,” he claimed emphatically. “That’s
why I’ve only gone to the one party, and I didn’t do what you
probably think I did. That’s not what interests me. It’s too
important of a decision to pick someone at random, in someone
else’s house.”

I let out an awkward laugh and tried to catch
myself before I let out another.

“What’s so funny?”

“I can’t talk about this with you.” I let out
another uneasy laugh. “It’s too weird. Sorry.”

“You think talking about sex is weird?”

“No. Talking about it with
you
is
weird,” I emphasized. “Can we please change the subject?”

“So, you’ve never…” he started.

“Evan!” I yelled.

“Of course not,” he concluded quietly.

“And you have?” I asked before I could shut
my mouth.

“I thought we weren’t talking about it.”

“We’re not,” I said, turning to look out the
window again. We didn’t say another word until we pulled into
Sara’s driveway.

“Do you still want me to come in?” he
asked.

“Do you still want to?” I asked in
return.

“Of course I do.”

“Then come in.”

We followed behind Sara and Jason into the
house. Sara let her parents know we were home before we headed up
the stairs.

“Would you mind if Jason and I watch a movie
in my room?” Sara whispered as she and I followed a few steps
behind the guys to the third floor.

“Are you serious?!” I asked. She begged with
her widened eyes. “Fine.” I conceded. She smiled gratefully.

Sara bent over the couch as Jason sat down
and whispered in his ear. He grinned and followed her into the
bedroom. Evan looked to me, trying to interpret what just
happened.

“They want alone time,” I shared. He nodded,
suddenly understanding.

“What movie are we watching?” I inquired,
sitting on the opposite end of the couch.

“Are you going to stay awake this time?”

“Yes,” I stressed, appearing offended.

Evan selected a movie about a small town,
where people were inexplicably disappearing.

After a while, the exhaustion started pulling
at me, so I grabbed a pillow and curled up in the empty space on
the couch next to Evan to continue watching the movie – still
committed to staying awake. I began fighting with my eyelids as
they attempted to glue themselves shut every time I blinked.
Finally, I gave in.

“Emma,” Sara whispered, gently shaking my
shoulder. She sounded distant as I struggled against consciousness
– I was too comfortable. “Em, you know it’s two o’clock in the
morning, don’t you?”

Her whisper was louder, coming in more
clearly. I groaned to acknowledge I heard her. Then I felt the
weight around my waist and warmth against my back. I blinked my
eyes open, attempting to focus. I heard the rhythmic breathing
behind my ear and felt the warm breath upon my neck. My eyes grew
wider.

“What are you doing?” Sara demanded. I
glanced behind me in surprise.

“Sara,” I whispered emphatically, “how could
you let this happen?” I carefully removed the arm from around my
waist then slowly slid off the couch. I looked at Sara with huge
eyes and my mouth open accusingly.

“Me? I didn’t do anything,” she whispered
firmly. I crept over to the stairs; Sara followed.

“I fell asleep,” I whispered vehemently. “I
had no idea he was still here; forget about
that
.” I pointed
to his position on the couch.

Sara tried not to laugh. “Em, you two looked
so cute.” I swatted at her arm.

“Knock it off Sara,” I demanded, still
whispering. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“Wake him up and kick him out.”

“Why can’t you?”

“He’s all yours.” She laughed and went to her
room.

“Sara,” I yelled in a whisper at the closed
door.

I sighed, looking over at the couch. He did
look so peaceful lying curled up on his side. I folded my knees
into me as I scrunched at the end of the couch next to his feet. I
watched him sleep for a minute, trying to build up the nerve to
wake him.

I kicked the back of his thigh gently with my
foot.

“Evan,” I called softly. He didn’t respond,
so I pushed a little harder, rocking him. “Evan, you need to wake
up.”

“Hmmm,” he groaned, peeking out from under
his long dark lashes. He peered up at me and grinned. “Hi.” He
stretched his arms above him and turned onto his back so that he
could face me.

“Hi,” I whispered.

“What time is it?” he asked with a groggy
voice.

“Two in the morning.”

“No way,” he replied in disbelief, pushing
himself up to sit. “Why did you let me fall asleep?”

“Me? I think I fell asleep before you
did.”

“Yeah,” he remembered, “that’s right. “

“Are you going to be okay to drive home?”

“Why? Would you let me sleep here?”

“No,” I admitted. “I was just trying to sound
concerned.” He smiled - finally fully awake.

“Did I kick you off the couch?” he asked,
trying to take in the scene.

“I slept just fine,” I admitted, avoiding his
question.

Evan stood up and stretched again. He found
his shoes and slipped them on his feet.

“Will I see you… today, actually?” he
confirmed, grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair.

“I have to be home by four, so I need to be
back here by three. Would you rather sleep?”

“No, it’s Sunday. It’s my day – so, I’ll pick
you up at ten, okay?”

“Can we make it eleven?” I countered,
thinking about how late Sara and I would sleep in, and that we
still needed to compare stories.

“Really?” he pleaded. “Ten-thirty?”

“Sure.”

I stood from the couch to walk him down the
stairs. We snuck to the first floor, careful not to wake Sara’s
parents. I stopped on the bottom step as he went for the door. He
turned to look at me without saying a word. I stood with my arms
crossed, bracing myself against the cold air seeping in through the
open door. His lingering made me nervous, igniting a tingling in my
stomach.

“Good night,” I finally whispered, trying to
urge him to leave.

“Good night,” he replied and walked out the
door.

I locked it behind him, and quickly ascended
the stairs to Sara’s room. She was waiting for me in her bed.

“Did he kiss you?” she inquired eagerly.

“No! Sara, you can’t ask me questions like
that - like you’re hoping he has - and then try to tell me we can’t
date.”

“You’re right,” she admitted with a sigh. “I
promise to try to be more consistent. But I really want you to kiss
him.”

“Then keep it to yourself. Good night,
Sara.”

I slipped under the covers after preparing
for bed, compelling sleep to find me again, so I wouldn’t think
about if I wanted Evan to kiss me.

20.
The Room

“Are you
awake?” Sara asked from the bed across from me.

“Uh huh,” I grumbled from under the covers.
“I’m awake.”

“You need to wake up so you can tell me about
dinner last night.”

I rolled over to face her. She was definitely
more awake than I was, propped up on her elbow, waiting for me. I
stretched and yawned loudly. I propped the pillow against the
headboard and pushed myself up to sit.

“How was dinner? I can’t wait any longer,”
she insisted.

I provided the details of the other
dimension, including descriptions of Evan’s parents, the rude
guests and how different Evan was around these people. I left
Catherine for last. When I was done, Sara was laughing
hysterically, not quite as hard as I did when it happened, but she
did wipe tears from her eyes.

“I cannot believe you said that to her,” she
finally managed to say.

“I couldn’t contain myself,” I confessed. “I
guess it warmed me up for Jake’s party.”

“Wait, what happened at Jake’s party, besides
everyone hooking up?”

“Let’s see - I met Drew Carson, and I thought
he was such a nice guy until I realized what the party was all
about, and then Jake followed me into the other side of the
basement and tried to get me to go somewhere alone with him.”

“What did you do?” she asked, looking
horrified. “I warned you not to go anywhere.”

“Sara, I had no idea what you were talking
about. But when I finally got it, I basically told him there was no
way in hell I was hooking up with him and came upstairs where I
found you and Jason. Sara, Evan knew what kind of party it was when
Jake invited me, and he didn’t warn me. He’s been to one
before.”