Reason to Breathe (8 page)

“I know, it’s stupid,” Sara huffed with a
shrug. “No one’s ever seen you talk to someone besides me so much
before. So most of the girls hate you, and the guys don’t get
what’s so great about him. It’s actually kinda funny.”

“Great,” I grumbled, rolling my eyes.

“Anyway, after the game, I’m going to wait
outside the locker room for Jason to ask him to go to the party.
Will you wait with me?”

“Sure, but I’m not waiting by the locker room
door. That’s all you. I’ll sit on the stairs, okay?

“Okay,” her eyes sparkled. “I can’t believe
I’m doing this!”

“He’s going to say yes,” I assured her.

“I hope so.”

The air horn blared to declare the end of the
game. There was a final cheer from the home crowd, congratulating
the team for their win. The guys celebrated with chest bumps, and
shoulder pad punches as they headed to the locker room.

Sara and I lingered while the crowd filed out
through the gates. A few people asked if they’d see us at the
party, to which Sara confirmed emphatically. Sara began silently
wringing her hands as we got closer to the locker room. It was
almost entertaining to see her this nervous. I’d never seen her so
uncertain before.

“Wish me luck.”

“I’ll be right here,” I promised, climbing
the steps to observe from above.

Sara paced back and forth in front of the
open double doors. Every so often she glanced up at me anxiously,
and I’d return an encouraging smile. Before long, the guys started
coming out of the locker room, showered, dressed, and carrying
their gear bags over their shoulders. Most of them greeted Sara as
they exited. It was evident a few of the guys hoped she was waiting
for them, only to be disappointed when she’d respond with a casual
greeting.

Then the damp golden hair of Jason Stark
walked through the doors. I held my breath in anticipation as Sara
said, “Hi Jason.” Her voice didn’t project its signature
confidence, but her smile made up for it.

“Hi Sara,” he responded. She’d definitely
taken him by surprise. I listened intently.

A second passed - he was about to walk away
when she finally asked, “Are you going to Scott’s party?”

He was caught off-guard again. “Um, I don’t
know. I didn’t drive, and I think Kyle wanted to go home.”

“I could drive you if you want to go,” Sara
blurted. I gasped. What was she thinking? She only had two seats in
her car. She glanced up at me quickly and cringed in apology.

“Ah, I guess I could do that,” he agreed
slowly. “You don’t mind?”

“No,” she answered casually. “I think you
should celebrate your win.”

“Okay, let me find Kyle to let him know. I’ll
meet you back here in a minute.” When he walked into the locker
room, Sara looked up at me, jumping up and down, and opened her
mouth to release a silent scream. I laughed.

“It sounds like you’ll need a ride to the
party,” the confidently charming voice concluded from the bottom of
the stairs. Startled, I whipped around to discover Evan looking up
at me.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“How do you do that?” I shot back.

“What?”

“Appear out of nowhere. I don’t even hear you
coming, and then all of a sudden, there you are,” I accused.

“I guess you just don’t pay attention. I
think you’re too busy attempting to fade.” He chuckled. I scowled
back in annoyance. “Well, do you want a ride to the party? Unless,
you’re going to sit on Jason Stark’s lap?”

“You saw that? Do you usually go around
eavesdropping?”

“I was taking victory shots after the game
for the story and was heading to the locker room to get the rest of
my things. I happened to notice they were having a moment, and
waited here until it was over,” he defended. “Besides, it looks
like you’re the one spying from up there.”

“I’m being supportive,” I snapped.

“Sure.” He laughed. I clenched my jaw, trying
to contain my aggravation.

“Well, do you want a ride?” Evan
persisted.

“Fine,” I said through my teeth. This only
fueled his laughter before he walked toward the locker room. Why
did he find me so funny? It annoyed the hell out of me. Then why
was I driving to the party with him? Especially after hearing the
latest gossip. If I showed up with him, it was only going to make
it worse.

What did it really matter at this point?
According to Evan, I wasn’t well liked by just about everyone – so
who cared what they said if I pulled up with Evan? But I did care.
Not being liked was so much worse than being invisible. I took a
deep breath and blew it away before it could hurt. I didn’t need to
know what people thought about me.

Before I could think too much more about it,
Sara ran up the stairs. “Em, I am so sorry. It came out before I
had time to think about it.”

I could see Jason waiting for her by the
locker room.

“It’s okay. Evan’s giving me a ride,” I
assured her.

“Evan? Really?” She narrowed her eyes and
examined me.

“Don’t worry, I’ll see you there. Okay?” I
forced a supportive smile to put her at ease.

“Okay,” she said, still hesitating.

“Really. Go. I’ll be right behind you.” Sara
gave me a quick excited hug and skipped back down the stairs to
Jason. I watched them walk off toward her car, already in
conversation.

“Ready?” Evan asked from the bottom of the
stairs. I jumped again. “You honestly didn’t see me coming from the
locker room?”

“I guess I wasn’t looking for you,” I bit
back.

“Let’s go.” He held out his hand, inviting me
to take it. I creased my forehead in disbelief and walked past him.
My rejection didn’t seem to faze him as he walked alongside me to
the parking lot. Nothing about Evan made sense. But for some
reason, I kept finding myself with him.

He approached a black BMW sports car. I never
really paid attention to the cars in the lot. Most of the residents
in town could afford luxury cars to complement their ginormous
houses – so of course their kids also drove cars to reflect their
parents’ success. Diversity in Weslyn came down to what you drove,
not your ethnicity. So, I was a minority, especially since I didn’t
have a car. Forget that, I didn’t even have a license.

Evan opened the passenger door for me, making
me pause before I entered - not accustomed to the chivalrous
gesture.

“Do you know where we’re going?” he asked as
he closed his door.

“No, don’t you?”

He laughed. “I just moved here. I don’t know
where anyone lives. I thought you would at least know that much.” I
didn’t respond.

Evan rolled down his window and hollered to a
couple of guys he recognized, “Dave, you going to Scott’s?” I
couldn’t hear the answer. “Do you mind if I follow you?”

Evan started the car and drove around to get
behind the silver Land Rover.

“I didn’t ruin your night, did I?”

“No,” I answered casually, removing the scarf
from around my neck. “But if you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk
about what other people think of me anymore, okay?”

“Never again,” he promised. “So what are the
parties like in Weslyn?”

I snickered. “Are you seriously asking
me?”

“Okay,” he said slowly. “Well, I guess we’ll
both find out tonight, won’t we?” I didn’t answer.

“If you want to do something else, I’m up for
anything,” he offered. I looked over at him, my lungs
paralyzed.

“No, I want to go,” I lied, almost choking on
my words. “Besides, I’m meeting Sara there, remember?”

The Land Rover pulled away from the school,
and we started down unfamiliar back roads. Evan turned on the
radio. I wasn’t expecting to recognize the voice of a female singer
bellowing about how life sucked to the strums of a heavy guitar. He
turned it down so he could talk. What else could he possibly have
to say to me?

“Where did you live before you moved
here?”

I hesitated to decide if I could tell him
without backing myself into a corner.

“A small town outside of Boston,” I
replied.

“So you’ve always lived in New England?”

“Yup,” I answered. “Where in California are
you from?”

“San Francisco.”

“Have you lived anywhere else besides here
and San Francisco?”

Evan let out a short laugh. “We’ve moved just
about every year since I can remember. My dad’s a lawyer for a
financial conglomerate, so his job takes him wherever he needs to
be. I’ve lived in New York, different parts of California, Dallas,
Miami, and even in several countries in Europe for a few
years.”

“Does it bother you?” I asked, relieved to be
talking about him instead of me.

“It didn’t used to. When I was younger, I’d
get excited to go somewhere new. It didn’t bother me when I left my
friends behind because I was convinced that I’d see them again,
eventually.

“Now that I’m in high school, it’s not as
easy. I made some decent friends when we moved to San Francisco two
years ago, so it was harder to leave. Also, I don’t want to keep
fighting for a position on the sports teams. My parents offered to
let me stay there to finish, but I decided to give Connecticut a
chance. I can visit my friends during the breaks. If I don’t like
it here, I’ll move back.”

“By yourself?” I asked in amazement.

He smiled at my reaction. “I’m pretty much by
myself as it is anyway. My father works all the time, and my mother
is on every fundraising committee from here to San Diego, so she
travels a lot.”

“I’m sure Weslyn doesn’t even compare to San
Francisco. I’d choose California in a second.”

“Weslyn’s… interesting.” He looked over at me
with his infamous grin. I was glad it was dark so he couldn’t see
my scarlet cheeks. I looked out the window, still having no idea
where we were.

“I hope you’re paying attention to where
we’re going, because you have to figure out how to get yourself
home,” I warned.

“What, I’m not driving you back to
Sara’s?”

I wasn’t sure if he was serious.

“This isn’t a date,” I blurted, knowing I
shouldn’t have said it as soon as it came out of my mouth.

“I know,” he said, almost too quickly -
instantly making me regret saying it. “I figured Sara would drive
Jason home.”

“Oh,” I whispered. I felt like an idiot.

“I can offer to drive Jason so you and Sara
can leave together,” he suggested. “That may be easier for
everyone.”

We were quiet as we followed the Land Rover
down a long driveway lined with cars, or it could have been a
private road for as long as it was. Evan pulled behind the Land
Rover and shut off the car.

“If this is going to be weird for you, I can
go in by myself so no one knows we came here together,” he offered.
I must’ve really offended him.

“No, it’s okay,” I said softly. “I shouldn’t
have said that about it not being a date. I haven’t been as
filtered as I usually am, especially when I’m around you for some
reason.”

“I’ve noticed,” Evan teased. “I never quite
know how you’re going to react. It’s one of the things that makes
you so interesting.” His flawless smile reflected in the soft light
of the driveway’s lanterns.

“Let’s get this over with,” I said under my
breath as I opened the car door.

“Do you really want to do this?” Evan asked
as we approached the house.

I took a deep breath and replied, “Yes, it’ll
be fun.” I forced a smile. It wasn’t convincing, but he didn’t call
me out on it.

6.
Different Planet

As we neared the front steps, we spotted
Sara and Jason sitting off to the side, along the stone wall. They
were deep in conversation with red cups in their hands, oblivious
to the party happening inside.

“Hey, Sara,” I said as I walked over,
breaking her entranced attention.

“Emma, I was waiting for you!” she exclaimed
as she jumped up from the wall and went to hug me, but restrained
herself when she saw my body tense for the embrace.

Sensing Sara wasn’t quite ready to give up
her moment with Jason, I declared, “We’re going in. Find me inside
later.”

“Okay.” She replied with a beaming smile that
could only mean that I wasn’t going to see her for awhile.

I was so wrapped up in my anxiety that I
didn’t realize Evan had grabbed my hand upon entering the loud
crowded space - not until he was leading me through the
entanglement of bodies. I didn’t pull it away as we squeezed
through the bodies, in fear that I would be stranded if I let go.
Wide-eyes followed me through the crowd - evidently, not everyone
who was here was at the football game or had received the
circulating texts.

The house was the typical huge estate that
belonged in Weslyn, with an open floor plan that was conducive to
throwing a large party. There were only two rooms in the front of
the house that were encased with walls - the formal dining room,
and another room with a large wooden door, which appeared to be
locked.

We squeezed through to the back of the house
where we found the kitchen. The island in the kitchen was lined
with different colored liquor bottles and soda, ending with a large
stack of red plastic cups next to a tap handle.

“Want something to drink?” Evan yelled, still
holding my hand.

“Diet whatever’s fine,” I yelled back.

He left me standing on one side of the bar to
get our drinks at the other end, instantly consumed by the crowd
within the few feet it took to reach the sodas.

“Holy shit! Emma Thomas?!” I heard someone
yell from across the room. I froze, afraid to look. His exclamation
caught the attention of a few other people; they evidently were
amongst the few who hadn’t heard that I was at the party since they
couldn’t stop staring at me. I spotted a guy from my Chemistry
class as he fought his way through the crowd, parting the bodies
with his red cup.