Red Dirt Diary 3 (20 page)

WORMS vs KITTY THE KID

Exciting eating challenge.

Has Worms met his match?

Find out who is the biggest garbage guts.

School playground

Lunch time

Tuesday 4 August

IN MEMORIUM

Froggy

Beloved friend of Tom

RIP

Kookaburras are scum

ANIMAL CARE

Does your goat have a sore leg?

Is your dog afraid of cats?

Have your chooks stopped laying?

Does your pig have diarrhoea?

 

See Gabby for top quality vet care at a reasonable price.

 

Operations on people will still be performed at school on Thursdays at lunch time and Fridays at recess. Ask about Gabby's Brain Surgery Specials for August.

Heart's Triumph — Part 5

Edmund lay on the ground in agony, but he did not want to distress his beloved Elizabeth. He sat up, cringing with the pain, but managed to put a smile on his overwhelmingly handsome face.

‘My darling,' he sighed, heavy of heart. ‘Life with just one arm and one leg is going to be tough.

It makes it very difficult

To sit down on a chair

Or lie in bed or wash your face

Or even comb your hair.

There will be many months of painful medical treatment. But together, we can seek
top quality vet care at a reasonable price,
if only you can stand the sight of me.'

Edmund began to sob in a totally manly, handsome, romantic sort of way.

Elizabeth cried, ‘Oh Edmund, my darling. We will travel this journey together. I'm sure there is so much we can learn from each other, like how
to break wind without people thinking you are rude.
Just look shocked and blame the noise on the dog, the squeaky chair or your brother.'

Edmund smiled with relief.

‘Dearest, darling Elizabeth,' he sighed. ‘You are too, too kind. I just have one more thing I need to ask of you …'

He knelt on his one remaining knee, took her hand in his one remaining hand, looked deeply into her eyes and asked,
‘Does your pig have diarrhoea?'

Elizabeth cried, ‘Yes! Oh yes!'

Edmund replied, ‘You have made me the happiest man alive.'

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT

Katherine McKenzie will be returning to Hardbake Plains on Friday 17 August.