Regine's Book (32 page)

My thoughts are with you, dear Regine!

—
Anonymous

I'm crying for you, Regine. My thoughts go out to you and your family.

—
Karina

Dear beautiful you. It's a miracle that you can even pull yourself together enough to write to us out here. I bow to you, stunning, wise, brilliant Regine. Do you know what? This Christmas will be special for me. Your blog taught me something. I've learned to value being healthy, having a good life, and I've learned to appreciate how important it is to enjoy every day. Every single day. Everything else is just secondary.

At the same time, it's so hard for me to see you suffering—if we blog readers could just take SOME of your pain. It's unfair. You're the most valiant, courageous girl out there.

I'll light some candles for you.

I wish you all the best—no matter what happens.

—
Marte

Dear Regine!

This is so hard to read. I can't believe you're suffering like this.

I hope more than anything that your suffering will end, and that you'll get better.

I hope that this terror will release its grip on you. You said that you're not as scared as you were before. It makes sense to be scared. But if some of the terror can go away, that would be good.

Your loved ones will carry the sorrow. It will be a lot to bear. But if things go badly, they'll be proud to carry it, because they're mourning
you
, Regine. (That is, if this really is the end.) Remember that if the worst really happens, they'll support each other in their sorrow. Your family's very strong.

Another thing, Regine. If the worst happens, we'll all be following after you. Me, your parents, the rest of your family, your friends,
and all of your blog readers. We'll all arrive at the final chapter of life one day, and we're all going to join you in the end. We and your loved ones will follow you.

Keep hoping for a miracle. I'm still hoping for that. And I'm not the only one. Not by a long shot!

We're all still hoping for a miracle. You deserve a better fate.

But there's no doubt that you're incredibly sick right now, so if hope doesn't change anything, try not to be scared. Try as hard as you can.

I don't think there's anything to be scared of, in the end. I really don't.

I'm not religious either, but I'm praying in my own way to my own strange powers, gods, or whatever you want to call them: I'm asking for a miracle. I'm hoping that things will change. That you get well. I'm praying and hoping for that.

If that doesn't happen, then I hope you can feel all the love and admiration that's coming your way. Take in all of the incredible positive energy. The support coming your way is enormous, because you've given so insanely much of yourself.

…Thank you for all the texts, thoughts, and photos you've given us. It means a lot!

With wishes for a pain-free, peaceful night,

—
A 37-year-old dad

You know me, Regine. I've always had too much to say. But I've been struggling to find the words to say to you now, and I just can't seem to find them. There's nothing I can say. I'm just not taking this very well. It shouldn't be this way.

This can't happen! I'm dumbstruck by all of this. I just don't understand it. I love you. I love you a lot.

—
Sofsen

Hi! I am a thirteen-year-old girl who almost had cancer too, but the doctors removed the tumor before I was diagnosed. Your blog makes me realize more and more how lucky I was, and still am. I sympathize with you, and hope with all my heart that a miracle can still happen. I know that you give hope to a lot of people out there. It's incredible that you can blog, despite your situation. When I was at the hospital after my operation, I couldn't do anything. Things are probably worse for you than they were for me, and still you post regular updates. I'm thinking of you.

—
Andrea

Dear Regine,

Life is full of happiness, and life is full of despair. I've been following your blog and I've read about your happiest and most despairing moments. Dear Regine, I'm the mother of a 22-year-old girl. She's my greatest joy and my profoundest happiness—just like you are for your mother. I send warm thoughts your way all day, every day. Thousands of us are praying for you and yours, and sending all of you our love. Take care of each other.

—
Beathe

Dear, dear Regine: I have no idea how many tears I've shed since I started reading your blog. It's been a true privilege to participate in your life and your pain.

Dear Regine: I just want to say thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

Thank you for letting me share in your life.

Thank you for everything you've meant to so many people.

Thank you for your spark, and for your courage.

Thank you for being such a good role model for so many people—however old they may be.

Thank you for being so honest about life—and about death.

And most of all: Thank you for being the fantastic person that you are.

You've earned a place in so many people's hearts.

I'm hoping and praying that you have a peaceful night, without fear and pain. I think a lot of us would do anything possible to ease your pain if we could.

—
Warm thoughts from Wenche

I think about you all the time, Regine. You're the strongest person I've ever come across. I cry when I read your story; it makes me realize how unjust life can be. You must be one of God's sweetest angels, since he's calling you back so soon.

If I have a daughter one day, I'm going to name her after you, and I'll tell her what a strong and amazing person her namesake was—you: Regine Stokke.

—
Linda

Dear Regine!

You've made the world a better place. You've contributed a complete and unique life's work just since you got sick! You've done it with your blog, and with your art, and just by being who you are.

We're able to see things more clearly because of you; we're more grateful—less egotistical, less self-centered—and wiser, more generous.

Your life has touched so many people—you've made a huge impact. Thank you so much, Regine!

I'm so glad you're less scared than you were before. Even though we're all wishing you'd had a longer life, it's not hard to see that the end is near. So, realistically, the best I can hope for now is that you can leave this life with peace in your heart.

Peace be with you! Warm thoughts to you and your family.

—
Ingrid

Dear, beautiful Regine: I've never written to you before, but I've been following your blog for almost a year now, and hoping and hoping that you'd hear some good news from the doctors. But right now I just have to say that I'm angry. I'm furious, because it's crazy that such a beautiful, smart, positive, and lovely person, who's only eighteen, has to experience such torments! It's absurd. No matter what happens, Regine, I hope that your pain is at an end. Hopefully you'll have some quiet and pain-free days ahead of you, with your fantastic family and friends. I think of you night and day. “How's Regine doing today?” is the first thing I think about when I wake up. I've never met you before, but I've gotten to like you so much!!

—
Hug from a concerned grandmother in Frederikstad

I'm thinking of you, Regine!

You've made me more aware of my life. You've changed me. I took life for granted before, and didn't consider how incredibly lucky I am just to be alive. Now I feel like a criminal, sitting here in comfort, knowing that I don't have a life-threatening disease—while you have to live with the knowledge that you might die at any moment.

But you've changed my life. I'm not as superficial as I was before. I'm not a girl who just thinks about boys, makeup, and clothes.
Instead I'm thinking about how I can make a difference with the time I have on this earth.

This will be an entry without a smiley face, hearts, or a “lol.” And that's because I'm thinking of you, and your incredibly harsh destiny.

I'm not a Christian, but I know that something good is waiting for you, Regine. I just know it!

Farewell!

—
Oda, thirteen years old

You're an amazing person, Regine!

You've won a gold medal, you've earned the applause: You're an extreme sports athlete.

Unfortunately, right now, you're probably at the end of the road, with no strength left, and in the middle of all this, the sound of applause just sounds like so much noise. I want you to know that you've made a huge difference: You've gotten people to donate bone marrow; you've made people change their outlook about what's important in life; you've made them stop and think. You've given readers of your blog—young and old—a lot of insights into what it's like to live with terminal cancer.

You've enlightened us, inspired us, informed us, and increased our understanding. You've made a lasting impression. A huge impression. You won't be forgotten. I hope that this means something to you now. I want to thank you for how much you've given of yourself. I want you to know this, even though of course I want you to stay on this earth for a good while longer. You're an important person. I admire you.

Most of all, I'm hoping for a miracle. I hope you get relief from all this pain, and can soon find some peace in this overwhelming chaos.
I hope that you'll feel surrounded by warmth from all the people who care about you. I think of you and cheer you on. Always.

—
Ashild

Oh no. Don't leave us. ☹

—
Kaddy

I'm thinking of an incredibly strong girl: I'm thinking of you, Regine…You've been fighting for so long now, and you've won so many battles, even if the disease seems to have the upper hand right now.

The pain passes, but the beauty remains.
∼Pierre Auguste Renoir (1841–1919)

—
Heidi

After Regine

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Dear beautiful sister,

After fifteen long months of fighting, you've finally found peace. These were probably the longest and toughest months of your life. They were for us, too. We endured a lot together, but we had a lot of good times, too.

After a while, I suppose we all realized that things were nearing the end, and that you were suffering. You needed a lot of painkillers, and you were exhausted.

On Thursday, December 3, 2009, at 2:02 pm, our beloved Regine passed away peacefully with mom, dad, little sister, and kitty cat at her side.

The photo that's included here was taken in Rome, right before her diagnosis.

—
Hugs, from your little sister Elise

Almost 9,000 readers sent a last goodbye to Regine. Here's a small selection:

Two beautiful brown eyes

A brilliant smile

An enormous heart

And a life that was much too short

You won the hearts of everyone

You gave all of yourself

Even with all the pain

That awaited you

Sleep sweetly, little angel

You will never be forgotten

You can sleep safely now

Your soul at rest

My deepest condolences to Regine's family and friends in this time of sadness.