Rewrite Redemption (19 page)

Then again, who am I to talk? I just stood there, silently. Rule ten—stay calm and do not engage. Rule four—no eye contact. I stared at the grass, trying desperately to keep a straight face.

 “We’ve been trying to figure out where your string is, you know, the one I need to pull to before you can speak.” Bratz Doll sneered at me. She was annoyed she’d been left on the sidelines, and that Lex was getting all the attention. “Mommy can’t always be around to talk for you.” She motioned to Lex. Then she elbowed the Kicks and they giggled on cue.

“Too bad
your
mommy never taught you manners,” Lex said, “but I suppose you can’t teach what you don’t know.” She slurped loudly on the lollipop, pulling it in and out of her mouth. “I do love to suck,” she said, suggestively, her eyes never leaving Bratz Doll’s face.

A couple of football players, who’d stopped to watch the interaction, hooted in appreciation. “Nice technique, Archer,” one of them said.

“Thanks, guys,” Lex said, slurping loudly on the lollipop, “it’s all in the tongue.”

“Screw you, Archer,” Bratz Doll blurted out. “You are such a whore.”

“Oh, is this
your
corner, Cheney? I certainly don’t want to intrude on your turf.”

It took her a minute, but when she got it, Bratz Doll huffed and gritted her teeth trying to think of a comeback.

Lex beat her to it. “Crawl back under your rock, Cheney,” she volleyed with ease. “And take your posse with you, before someone mistakes you for roaches and calls the exterminator. Oh, wait…I guess that wouldn’t be a mistake.”

I slipped and smirked. One of the Kicks caught it and whispered in Cheney’s ear.
Damn!
That was my first slip in five years. I immediately went back into non-existence mode, watching them from the corner of my eye.

They both glared at me. Then Bratz Doll looked down at my feet and slowly worked her way up to my hair. “What are you looking at, Dipshit? Don’t be thinking too much of yourself just because you finally took a bath. You’re still trash.”

“Get over yourself, Cheney,” Lex said. “Sure, you’re a dog next to A.J., but don’t worry your empty, little airhead. Your pet gorilla knows he can’t get any from her, so he’ll still settle for your twenty-four-hour takeout.”

“Screw you, bitch.”

“Bite me. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but you’ll always be pathetic.”

“Up yours, Archer.”

“Is that
seriously
the best you can do? Daddy should have bought you a brain upgrade to go with the new nose you got last summer.”

Cheney’s hand flew up to her face, and she whipped her head back and forth to see who heard. “You are such a bitch!”

“Oooooo, sticks and stones—again pathetic,” Lex said. “Speaking of pathetic, I heard Rove tripped over his own big feet and is covered with Band-Aids. Obviously, your kisses don’t have the power to make his boo boos all better. Must be the oil slick on your dried-out, little lips. You know…toxic waste leakage from your filthy mouth.”

Lex gave them a big smile, batted her eyes, and mimicked Bratz Doll’s hair flip. “My job here is done,” she said, putting her arm around me. We walked off, leaving the three girls sputtering curses at our backs and the football guys practically ROFL.

“You
so
rock,” I said to her when we reached the Bratz-free zone.

“Good workout,” she said. “Keeps me on my toes.”

We met up with Ipod at the lockers. Lex was still sucking on the lollipop.

Ipod saw it and grinned. “So you finally got to use the suck joke, I see. How’d it go?”

“Lex was brilliant, as always,” I replied. I relayed the Rove line, and Ipod laughed.

“Cheney’s such a bitch,” Lex said, pulling books out of her locker. “She deserves Rush Rove.”

“No doubt,” I agreed, opening my locker. I caught my reflection in Lex’s locker door mirror—I didn’t have one in mine—and startled. “I don’t know about this—” 

“You can’t let her win!” Lex interrupted vehemently, locking her eyes onto mine. “You’ll be okay, A.J. The hoodie era is over. Ipod, tell her she’s safer looking normal.” She nudged Ipod.

“She’s right,” Ipod agreed. “It’s okay, A.J. You can do this.” He took off down the hall. “Later,” he called over his shoulder.

“You’ve never gotten yanked back to Oz from school,” Lex said. “It’s not going to happen the
one
day you wear regular clothes. You’re gonna be fine.”

“Yeah, well, how about the fact that I bolted from the room like a lunatic the last time I was there, totally violating rules six and seven. The whole class thinks I’m a nut case.”

“They’ve always thought you were a nut case,” Lex said. “That’s nothing new. Just concentrate on walking to your desk and sitting down. Nothing else exists. That’s all you have to do.”

“Yeah, well…”

“And besides, no matter what they thought before, I’ll tell you what they’re going to be thinking now. The guys are going to be thinking ‘Whoa, who’s the hot, new girl?’ The girls are going to be thinking ‘damn, she hid all
that
under that hideous hoodie?’ And I’m going to be thinking ‘eat your heart out, all of you, because my best friend looks freaking amazing.’”

I stared at my books and ignored the looks coming our way as we walked down the crowded hallway. It was hard. Although not as hard as it would be naked. I was momentarily yanked back to my daydream from Saturday. The comparison did make my present situation a little easier, but I was still nervous about fourth period.

 “He’s here,” I whispered as we walked into homeroom. “I’ve been feeling him since we reached the grounds, but it’s even stronger now. He must be in the building.”

“So how’s the static?”

“Gone,” I said.

“Creepy crawlies?”

“They’re gone too.”

“You can’t argue with that.”

“Yeah, well…” I couldn’t. It was really nice not having my nervous system assaulted. But I was letting my guard down. I couldn’t believe I’d let the Bratz Doll get a reaction out of me, even if it was just a smirk.

“I like him, A.J,” Lex whispered, dropping into her seat. “I’m still cautious, but Ipod and I think he’s for real. We’ll take it slow. So chill, okay?”

I nodded and sat down. The last few days had been wonderful, and it was great having full use of my brain here at school. But I was apprehensive about too much change or too much good. It hit my pleasure/pain paranoia button—the one where if things got too nice, it meant that something bad was going to happen to balance it out…to take away the good and punish you for hoping.

Fate couldn’t be trusted. Fate was a bully who got off on slapping you down, if you stuck your neck out by wanting something, or called attention to yourself by being too happy. And after this weekend and in my new outfit, I felt exposed and vulnerable. I was totally violating the code. It made me anxious.

The first two periods passed slowly, but I got through them better than I had imagined I would. I even managed to smile and say thank you to a couple of comments about my appearance. It wasn’t that I was overwhelmingly shy or anything. I’d just adhered to the code for so long; I didn’t know how to
be
outside of it. I was an actor playing a part and I’d played it for years. I tried to imagine myself from their eyes…freak one day and the next just a girl. I mean, what did they think was under the stupid hoodie?

My third period teacher looked at me with confusion as I walked in the room and headed for my seat. He said “Hello Autumn,” slowly and looked like he was going to comment. But apparently, he thought better of it and let me pass without directing attention my way.

I appreciated that and gave him a faint smile. It was my first non-Lex class and I was really anxious. I wondered where Lex hid my real glasses and considered making a break after class to grab the backup hoodie I had stashed in my locker. But when class ended, Lex was waiting for me, leaning against the wall opposite the door. She knew me well. I wondered how she’d gotten out early, but I didn’t ask. I followed her to fourth period, feeling him grow stronger as we got closer to the classroom. My heart sped up and my legs got wobbly.

“Hold on,” I said, grabbing Lex outside the door.

She waited patiently, but the bell was about to ring, and we had to move. She pulled down my hood and fluffed out my hair. I immediately pulled the hood back up again. She rolled her eyes, but left it alone.

“I need
something
,” I pleaded.

It hit me hard as we walked in the door, but I was prepared this time and able to absorb it or let it flow past me. I don’t know how I did it exactly. It felt so amazing, it was hard as heck not to just sink into it, drop to the floor, and let it wash over me. But there was a classroom of people staring at me—including him—people who were probably just waiting for me to do something weird. I
had
to hold it together. I locked my eyes onto Lex’s back, and somehow, I just kept walking.

Lex turned and gave me a little push as we reached our seats. I changed focus to my book bag and whirled around, facing the front of the room. I felt his power pulsing a few feet away. A long leg stuck out into the isle. It had to be his.

“Hey, Lex.” His voice was low, smooth, and sexy.

I felt my face flush.

“Constantine,” answered Lex. She gave me a shove and I dropped into my seat.

“Is this—” he began, but the bell rang.

“Tomar un trozo de papel para un examen sorpresa,” Senora Ortega ordered immediately.

A pop quiz. The test wasn’t hard but concentration was. After about ten minutes, I was able to dampen down my euphoria—at least enough to keep from floating out of my chair—and finish, before the teacher collected the papers. When she got to me, she stopped. She peered down at me intently, and said, “Autumn?”

I looked up at her and begged her with my eyes not to call attention to me. She looked at my paper, and I guess she recognized my handwriting. She nodded and moved on. I let out a breath.

I heard a guy a few rows over whisper, “Who’s the hot, new girl?” under his breath.

I heard a girl’s voice answer, “That’s no new girl. That’s A.J. Jones.”

“No way!”

“Way. She walked in with Lex. That’s her seat. It’s her.”

“No shit!” the guy’s voice said again. “Who’d a thunk?”

That seemed to start a conversation on the other side of the room.
Perfect
. I blushed and pulled my skimpy hood down as far as it would go. I brought my elbows onto the desk, so I could put my hands up to hide the sides of my face.

Senora Ortega launched into the lesson, and I stared at my notebook, counting the metal spirals that held it together. There were thirty-four of them. I counted them over and over: one, two, three, four...

I heard a piece of paper rip behind me. When the teacher turned to write on the board, Lex poked me in the back. I wasn’t about to turn around and she knew it. So I reached over my shoulder to palm the note I knew would be there. It was short.

Yeah, right, like I was even going to look at him, much less smile. Thinking of those eyes focused on me made me all quivery inside.
Thanks a lot, Lex
. I felt another flush rise up my neck and explode across my cheeks. Leaning down, I let my hair fall out of my skimpy hood to hide it. I missed my real hoodie something fierce. I needed to find a tree and have Lex say something to ground me.

I knew I had to meet him—I
wanted
to meet him. But this was too much, too fast. There was no question, at that point, about the origin of the energy I’d been feeling lately. It was definitely him. I didn’t really know what to make of it, what to make of him, and mostly what to make of my reaction
to
him. I sat there, analyzing, daydreaming, and wondering at the quality of his energy. I began to relax into the soothing harmony.     

That
was a mistake.

Suddenly I shivered, and the tingle began to creep over me, the one I get pre-jump.

Oh, no…no, no, no… 

That wasn’t supposed to happen! My first instinct was to bolt…no…too visible. I caught my breath. A bathroom pass? How long would that take? I certainly didn’t want to vanish on my way to the door. Besides, I was scared to move, as if movement might accelerate it.