Riding and Regrets (13 page)

“Sure.” Duke took it and held it up to Prissy. “This good? You want a story about a bat?”

“She’s a special bat,” Prissy exclaimed. “Her momma lost her. That pawt’s sad, but she didn’t have a daddy like mine.”

Duke sat on the edge of the bed. “You gotta good daddy, Prissy. Hop on up and I’ll read this here story and see why you think it’s so good.”

“’Cause it is.” Prissy sat on the bed. “It’s the best.”

“Call me if you need anything,” Jody told Duke before leaving the room.

The house was kind of bare. Jody didn’t have a couch of his own, but Carlos and Troy had brought over one from their den for him to use until he bought one. They’d also given him a couple of small tables and a lamp. He had his TV from his bedroom at the bunkhouse, and his furniture from there. Prissy had had her room set up and decorated within hours of the house being brought out. Jody had been brought to tears when he’d learned that everyone had pitched in to buy her a sweet little girl’s bedroom set, complete with a canopy bed and frilly bedding. The furniture was all done in white, from the bed frame to the dressers and mirror, and the desk in the corner of her room.

Even her toy box was white. It had different coloured flowers painted on it, and Prissy said it was her favouritest thing ever, possibly because it’d come pre-stocked with some toys.

Jody couldn’t ever imagine working somewhere else. The Mossy Glenn and the people working on it felt like home to him.

He would make him and Prissy a home right there. Jody took in the blank walls and imagined them lined with pictures of Prissy through the years. He’d find some western art, maybe even try his hand at making a few things. Not paintings, nothing like that. He had some ideas for barbed wire and cast-off horseshoes, old tack and greyed-down wood. If he ever got the courage to try, he’d see if he could make the things he saw in his head.

He heard a knock, this one softer than Duke’s. Joy bubbled. It had to be Noel at the door. Everyone else had come and gone already. Well, except for Duke. He was still here.

Jody walked over and opened the door. Noel stood on the top step, and he looked so tired that Jody wanted to hold him and tell him everything was going to be fine.

“Hey, Noel.” Jody stepped back and as soon as Noel was inside, he reached for Noel and kissed him.

Noel made a happy sound as he put his arms around Jody. For a moment, Jody controlled the kiss, then Noel rumbled and he gripped Jody’s nape. He held Jody just so and began to kiss him in that hungry, demanding way that Jody loved.

Jody had to work at keeping his hands on Noel’s hips. He wanted to touch him all over, but Duke was there and Prissy was awake. For all he knew, Prissy might not sleep in her own room. Noel might not want to spend the night. There was just no telling how the evening would go.

Noel moved on to Jody’s neck, and he sucked a spot right beneath Jody’s ear that made him want to beg Noel to fuck him. “I’m so glad to see you,” he heard Noel whisper.

Something in his tone set off an alarm in Jody. He leant back in Noel’s arms and looked at his face. Those familiar dark circles were there under his eyes, but more than that, Noel’s smile wasn’t in place, and he seemed worn down on an emotional level.

“What’s wrong?” Jody caressed the curve of Noel’s hip. “You need me to whoop someone for you?” He was only half teasing. He’d sure enough knock the tar out of someone if they were hurting Noel.

Noel cracked a smile and rested his forehead against Jody’s. “Crazy ex syndrome is kicking in. Clive’s texted me twenty-plus times today.”

Jody was instantly furious, though not at Noel. “That bastard can’t have you back.”

“I don’t think that’s what he’s after, since he keeps going on about how he should have killed me.”

Jody pulled back so fast that he and Noel both stumbled. “He can’t do that! You can have him arrested!”

“Sure I could,” Noel agreed, taking his cell phone from his pocket. “Except this isn’t the number I have for him. He brags about how he’s using a pre-paid phone I can’t trace, and he never actually says it’s him.” Noel handed Jody the phone. “See?”

Noel pulled the phone back and bit his bottom lip. Seeing him look uncertain shook Jody, but he buckled up and kept a strong front. “You’re afraid I’ll read about stuff y’all did and think you liked it?” The idea turned his stomach, but he knew Noel, knew what a gentle man he was and how much he needed to be touched with tenderness and passion.

Noel glanced at some point past Jody’s shoulder. “I was so stupid. Some of the things Clive did were degrading and…”

“And none of it’s gonna change my mind about how I feel for you,” Jody said gruffly. “Let me see.”

Noel handed the phone to him.

Jody read text after text and his blood was surely boiling by the time he was done. “This guy needs the shit knocked outta him.” The messages were twisted and hateful, and Noel was right. Clive never said who he was, only that he wished he’d killed Noel when they’d been playing their kinky games.

Then a text came in that made the bile rise up in Jody’s throat.

I jack off every night to the sounds of your screams while I fucked you. You begged me to stop. Begged me. I had the power.

Jody slowly raised his gaze to Noel’s face. “Noel, look at me.”

Noel swallowed and Jody could see how hard it was for him to look into his eyes. “What did he send?”

Jody didn’t know how he found the courage to do it, except that he thought Noel needed him to. Still, the words hurt to speak. “Noel, did Clive rape you?”

Noel recoiled, and at that moment, Jody saw a slight movement behind Noel.
Duke. God damn it!
Jody could only hope that Duke hadn’t heard, but that seemed unlikely. At least Duke had gone back into Prissy’s room. Jody was certain the man would keep Prissy busy, probably read her another story so Jody and Noel weren’t interrupted.

“He didn’t…” Noel began, his complexion so pale that Jody feared he’d pass out. “We were already having sex. It wasn’t like that. He was— I—”

Jody gently reached for him and was relieved when Noel didn’t pull away from him. “Come on, sit down on the couch.”

Noel followed him as docilely as a baby duck following its mama. He sat on the couch and Jody took a seat beside him. He held Noel’s hand and waited.

Noel kept his head tipped down, and after a few shaky breaths, he spoke. “We were already having sex. It was because he hurt me, bad enough I thought I might have been bleeding from him digging his nails into my side. He’d done it before, but that time I just— I couldn’t take any more of it. He didn’t stop when I said the safe word, the one that meant I’m serious, quit. He laughed. Then he slapped me. He slapped me until my ears rang.” Noel shuddered, his voice dipping lower. “When I screamed at him, he started talking about how he’d take the dirty condom off and fuck me. He was gonna strangle me and tell the cops it was an accident. Said he could get away with it because he had friends in the right places.”

“Who is this fucker?” Jody asked, horrified on Noel’s behalf. “He some big wig out in California like your parents?” Noel had told him all about his shitty parents, a big time movie producer and some indie-film darling. They were both as useless as teats on a boar hog as far as Jody was concerned. Every bit as bad as his own folks, only in different ways.

“Yeah. One of their friends, actually. That should have been the first clue that he was a sadistic asshole right there. He didn’t rape me, so I thought— I keep thinking I should be over it. No big deal, but it’s getting worse, the nightmares are getting worse.” Noel scrubbed at his face with one hand.

“I keep telling myself and everyone who’ll listen that I didn’t need my parents and didn’t want their approval. I mean, I had Aunt Gertie, and she was awesome. I guess somewhere in my head, I thought if I could make Clive love me, I could make my parents love me too. Clive has been one of their biggest financial contributors and probably the closest thing to a friend either of them have. But he’s just like them.” Noel raised a red-rimmed gaze to Jody. “I don’t think there’s anything I can do about this.”

Jody disagreed. “I think you can. You’ve met Ian. He’s a smart cop, and I bet he knows what you can do to put Clive in jail.” He frowned, remembering bits and pieces of conversations he’d heard at the ranch. “Carlos and his guys might know someone who could help. I think they have some FBI friend, maybe. I’ll have to ask.”

“I don’t have any proof that he ever actually assaulted me. The bruising was minimal. He kept hitting me here.” Noel touched the side of his head, where his ear was. “Once or twice on the face, but nothing major. That would be my word against his, and it wouldn’t do any good.” Noel shuddered and looked away. “But the texts, if they can be traced to him… I don’t want anything except for Clive to leave me alone. That’s selfish, I know it is. He’ll just do this to someone else.” He shifted on the couch and leaned against Jody. “I’ve been trying to deal with this. I mean, at first I tried to forget it, but the nightmares won’t stop and I don’t know what to do about those messages.”

“Forgetting your past ain’t all good for you, trust me, I know,” Jody muttered. “And Clive, he needs to be stopped. This can’t go on. If you’re okay with it, we can talk to Ian tomorrow. Unless you want to do it tonight.” He hoped that Clive would show up in Ashville, or, better yet, at the ranch. Jody contemplated where to hide his body, though he knew he wouldn’t really kill the asshole even if Clive deserved it. “Does he know about your aunt?”

“Maybe. My parents could tell him. Tomorrow’s fine to speak with Ian. I’m not going to touch my phone again tonight.” Noel finally looked at him. “Did you forget your past on purpose?”

Jody wanted to clam up. He hated thinking back to that night. It was the only night Prissy could have been conceived and it was difficult as hell to remember much of it. “I don’t think so. I can’t remember it all. I been thinking maybe I should go talk to someone about that. Maybe you should, too.”

“I don’t want to be broken,” Noel whispered. “I want you.”

“You have me,” Jody promised him. “You’re not broken, Noel. Maybe a little dented, but so am I.” He stroked Noel’s cheek, and found the strength to smile at him when Noel looked up. “We’re gonna be all right, one way or the other.” He needed Noel to believe that, because seeing Noel so close to giving up, to giving in to the fear and nightmares, that was tearing Jody up inside.

Chapter Ten

Spending time with Prissy eased Noel in a way that nothing else could have. She was such a sweet burst of innocence and joy, his spirits couldn’t help but be lifted. He read her the bat book then sang the skinny-marink-a-dink song twice.

“You’re gonna wear me out,” he told her.

Prissy giggled and hugged the teddy bear she always slept with. “I got a new woom.”

“It’s a beautiful room for a beautiful girl,” Noel informed her. “Do you like it?”

“I love it. I wanna live in it fo-eveh and eveh.” She patted her pillow. “You sleep wif me?”

Noel touched her cheek. “Oh, baby doll, I can’t. You want me to get Daddy to come lay down with you for a bit?”

At her nod, Noel stood. “I’ll send him right in.” He kissed Prissy’s cheek. “Be right back.” Noel was impressed with how everyone had come together to make Prissy’s bedroom special just for her. It restored some of his fading faith in humanity. He hadn’t realised cynicism was taking root in him until that moment.

Jody was sprawled on the couch, his head in his hands. Noel felt bad for bringing him down with his recounting of Clive’s attack. He saw his phone on the floor. It wasn’t broken, but it looked as though Jody had wanted it away from him.

“Prissy wants you to lay with her for a while.”

Jody glanced up at him. “I was so tempted to call that fucker and lay into him. I don’t think I’ve ever had to fight myself so hard in my life.” He stood and toed the phone under the couch. “Only reason I didn’t was ’cause you said you’d be willing to talk to Ian about this. I didn’t want to interfere in case doing so caused a problem.”

Noel only had to envision another young fool falling prey to Clive. As much as he’d tried not to dwell on that, it would happen and he would be responsible for it, in part. “I’ll talk to him. I haven’t changed my mind.”

“Daddddyyyyyy,” Prissy whined.

“Go on.” Noel gestured towards her room, but Jody took him by the hand.

“You too. The bed’s too tiny for us and Prissy, but you can sit in the rocking chair in there. Keep us company.”

Noel didn’t want to be alone. He wanted to be a part of the little family Jody had, even if it was just for the night. “Okay. I’d like that, but maybe I’ll sit by the bed.”

“Good.” They went back to Prissy’s room. She met them at the doorway.

“I was comin’ to get Daddy an’ you.” She took each of them by the hand. “Come on. I’m sleepy.”

“Love you, Daddy,” Prissy mumbled shortly thereafter when she was in bed and tucked under the covers. “Love you, Noel.”

Jody smiled at him over Prissy’s head. “We love you too, baby.”

It was perhaps the singularly most perfect moment in Noel’s entire life.

He drifted off for a little while and was awakened by Jody speaking softly to him. “You wanna get up before you get all stiff?”

Noel let Jody help him stand then they left Prissy’s room. Jody pulled the door to but not all the way shut. “I have a baby monitor in there. Prissy wasn’t thrilled about that until I told her it’d help me sleep knowing I could hear her if she woke up and needed me.”

“She’s a sweet girl.” Noel followed Jody into the kitchen. “What’d her mom look like?”

Jody scratched his head. “Well, she was pretty, I guess. Lots of people talked crap about her because she did like most guys did and had sex with whoever she wanted to. Elena liked to party. She drank and did drugs, and I know that for a fact ’cause I went to a party or two myself and she was always—well, she wasn’t shy about the things she did. I wonder now, what if something happened to make her like that? She had six or seven guys this one time, went off into a bedroom with them. Everyone was talking about it at school the next Monday, how she did all of them. Everyone knew, including adults, and no one did anything. That’s just wrong, ain’t it?”