Rock My World (6 page)

***

Airika
arrived early to meet her brother, Zach, at the
backstage entrance.
 
She would just
drop off the band’s clothes and bail
;
her brother
there as an unwitting buffer of protection or distraction. He happened to be in
town this weekend for the premier of his latest ski film. He was one of those
guys into
huck
-yourself-off-a-cliff extreme sports
and made little indie films of he and his friends doing crazy things.
Airika
didn’t understand the appeal, but he did pretty well
for himself, despite his
ü
ber
-monk lifestyle. She knew he lived in some sort of
log cabin up at Lake Tahoe, but she’d never had time to visit.

When their dad
left for Florida, they took very different paths toward their new identities.
He’d gone the solitary introspective route while she’d created a successful
business all about celebrities, award shows, and all manner of showy opulence.
They couldn’t be less alike. But right now,
Airika
needed her big brother. And he was here for her. Not that she’d told him why.

“I’ll just
be a minute,”
Airika
said, wheeling the chrome
clothes rack into the room marked ‘
Phazee
Crux
Wardrobe.’

“Need help?”
He asked, grabbing the other side of the rack.

“Thanks.”

They left
the rack in the middle of the room, white paper labels attached to hangers,
indicating which outfit was for whom.

“All set,
let’s go,” she said, leading him back down the long hallway running the full length
of the stage.

“You’re not
going to say hi?” He asked.

“No, they’re
busy. Let’s go or we’ll be late for your premier,” she said, eyes darting back
and forth.

Isolated
mountain man he may be, but one thing Zach knew for certain was that his sister
had never been on time for anything, ever. Her life was chock-full of drama,
hence his desire to stay out of her business. He hadn’t seen Alex in years,
though in high school they’d been close. Their foursome had long since broken
up, but whenever Zach came home or Alex passed through Reno, they made a point
of seeing one another.

“We’ve got
time to say a quick hello,” he said, heading down toward the
press
room
.

“Fine. I
have to get something out of the green room anyway. I’ll meet you out back in a
minute.”

Airika
was sure Jenna ran crying to her parents’ and would
still be hiding out. She would have taken the path of least resistance, as
usual. In all the years they’d known each other,
Airika
had never seen Jenna stand up for herself or anyone else. Everyone catered to
her delicate ego and handed her what she wanted on a perfectly polished silver
platter.
Airika
too had been looking out for Jenna
all this time. Must be nice, she thought. This time it might not be looking out
for her in the traditional sense, but in a way she was doing her a favor, by
forcing the inevitable. She knew she deserved Jenna’s wrath, but the stubborn
competitive streak in her wouldn’t let go of the feeling that, just once, she
deserved to get what she wanted and let Jenna be the one to suffer
disappointment. It was petty—granted—but true nonetheless.

Her main
reason for skirting around was that she couldn’t face Alex yet. Not after the
way he’d treated her. She knew his feelings for her hadn’t been in her head,
not after all the signals he’d sent. It was plain to everyone on the tour, not
just her. She’d seen the knowing glances cast in their direction. The way
people cleared out to leave them alone. It wasn’t coincidence.

For now, she could hide out in the green room for
a couple minutes and make sure the right clothes were sent over. After all,
work was the one love in her life that didn’t disappoint.

Chapter 10

When the
door opened, Jenna stood up from the vanity, revealing her long lean figure in
a short black negligee she’d picked up from the hotel’s boutique while Alex checked
them out of the hotel that morning. In a drastic departure from her normal
prudish nature, she wanted to surprise him before the show. She felt a little
naughty and like she wanted a reprisal of last night’s performance. Her nerve
endings tingled in anticipation. The last person in the world she expected to
see was
Airika
.

“What. Do.
You. Think. You’re. Doing.
Here.
” She seethed through
clenched teeth.

“What are
you wearing?”
Airika
asked, looking her up and down.
Jenna closed the gap between them with a single step and repeated, “What do you
think you’re doing here? Trying to seduce my husband?
 
Again?” Her eyes radiated a rage
Airika
had never seen before. Jenna stood up taller,
puffing her chest slightly, towering over her former friend.

“Oh here we
go. You’re right. I’m a bitch. I kissed your husband.”
Airika
wasn’t one to stay on the defense for long. She stepped in closer, “Go ahead.
Blame me. But just don’t think you know the whole story.”

“There is no
story! You kissed my husband!” Jenna squealed.

“Yes, I
kissed him, but it’s not like it was the first time.”
Airika
said, pleased to see her comment creating the desired effect.
Airika
on the offensive was unstoppable. Jenna stood
speechless, mind reeling.

“Before you
got knocked up, Alex and I were together. As in sleeping together. That summer
when you were in Europe? We were dating. We didn’t plan for it to happen but we
just … fell in love.”

Jenna’s
mouth moved but no words came out.
Airika
continued
calmly, “We were going to tell you … but then we found out you were pregnant.”
She let that sink in before she continued. “And I backed off. I held back all
these years, letting you have him. But sometimes life’s not fair, even for poor
perfect Jenna. He made it clear he still had feelings for me while we were on
tour together. And I’m sorry, but just once I’d like to be the one with the
happy ending.”
 

Before Jenna
could muster a retort,
Airika
turned and left,
leaving Jenna on her own, a black spot in the stark white room. There were a
million things soaring through her mind, and she felt dizzy with information.
Did
Airika
make that up? Why would she? Was it true?
She didn’t know which was worse.

“Jenna, are
you okay?” Alex asked, entering the room two minutes too late. He hurried over
to his wife, crumpled in a heap in the middle of the floor, nearly naked. “What
happened?” he asked, forehead wrinkling in concern.

“Is it
true?” she asked through a fog of tunnel vision.

“Is what
true? Jenna, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m talking
about you. And
Airika
. Dating. Did you sleep with
her…ever?”

Her eyes
scanned his face, watching it contort in agony. His eyes silently pleaded with
her and he let out a heavy sigh.

“Yes. We dated
briefly in high school when you and I were broken up. I never cheated on you.”
He steadied his gaze, letting that statement settle between them. “But Jenna,
that was so long ago. It didn’t mean anything. I chose you.”

“You only
chose me after you found out I was pregnant!”

She felt like she’d been punched in the stomach.
His eyes widened, revealing the truth of her accusation.
Oh God.
“You were sleeping with both of us at the same time?” She
felt nauseous at the thought. “And you never told me? You two have been keeping
this from me.
 
You’ve been lying to
me for eighteen years!” She stood up to her full height, eyes ablaze.

He looked
down at his feet and whispered, “We didn’t want to hurt you.”

She blanched
at his use of the word “we.”

“Did you love
her?” she asked, closing her eyes in anticipation.

“No! I … I … cared about her, that’s all,” he
stuttered.

“Well that’s so much better. You’re right, that
doesn’t hurt at all,” she thundered on. “My best friend and husband were
together behind my back and spent two decades keeping it from me? You’re right.
It’s much less humiliating to find out now than in high school!” Adrenaline
surged through her now, propelling her on, “Why don’t I make this easy for you
both. I’ll just take myself out of the equation.”

“Jenna … ”
he said, reaching out to touch her. She pulled away. “I only want you. You’re
all I’ve ever wanted.”

She glared
at this stranger in her husband’s body before storming out of the room, down
the hall. When she reached the backstage entrance it dawned on her that she
didn’t have a car, or now that she thought of it, clothes. Before she had time
to panic she felt the warmth of a jacket gently enveloping her shoulders. She
jumped, spinning around. Seeing Zach’s familiar face, she breathed a sigh of
relief and fell into his open arms.

Chapter 11

Anya looked
on with wonder, awed by her husband’s patience and youthful energy.
 
From the vantage point of her office,
she could see into Shawn’s music studio, set up over the garage, where he was
giving an animated lesson to a scruffy teenage boy, a friend of Felicity’s. She
watched the young man strumming away on guitar. Shawn picked up a bass and let
his head bob in rhythm as he plucked the thick strings. His back was to the
window, but she didn’t need to see his face to know that look. He was in his
zone. When he created music, alone or collaboratively, he became an ageless
entity existing in his own dimension. It was the purest state she had ever
known, if only by proximity.

“How cute
are they?” asked Felicity, plopping down on the window seat in front of her
Grandmother’s desk.

 
“Should we rescue Trey?” Anya asked.

“Are you
kidding? He’s in heaven right now. No, let’s work on our own project. I have
everything set up in the craft room.”

Felicity felt
guilty for keeping the audition she’d just been on secret, but she didn’t want
to elicit reproach if she didn’t have to. If she got the part, then she’d worry
about how to tell her mom and grandmother. Their irrational fear of acting
perplexed her. For two women firmly entrenched in the music industry, they were
abnormally distrusting of the film industry. The first time she told them she
wanted to act they looked at her like she said she wanted to be a porn star.

Despite her
guilty omission, she couldn’t have been happier spending time with her
grandmother. Even though they lived in the same town, their time together was
limited. Her grandparents made regular appearances at industry events, took
trips overseas, and even when they were home Felicity often felt overshadowed
by her mother’s demands on their time.

Once, during
a home renovation project, Jenna showed up an hour late to Felicity’s soccer
final and took Anya away to sort out a “life-or-death” issue with a contractor.
While they were gone, they missed Felicity’s game winning goal.

Another
time, Felicity had to call in sick (even though she felt fine), letting her
stand-in deliver Juliet’s lines in the opening night of her school’s rendition
of “Romeo and Juliet,” because Jenna was certain they had ingested whipworms
from their neighbor’s dog pooping in their herb garden. After quarantining them
all and bribing their doctor to do a home visit, the inevitable diagnosis came
back—no whipworms.

So in these
rare moments of uninterrupted time together, Felicity felt most like herself.
Anya said Felicity was her greatest accomplishment—the one for whom she
got to do things right—the one with the world in the palm of her hand.
But when the front door flung open, clattering violently, Felicity wasn’t surprised
to hear her mother’s voice.
 

The sight of
her, however, was something else entirely. Jenna’s normally smooth hair stuck
out at odd angles in a disheveled mess. She wore something that may have once
resembled fleece sweatpants and an oversized men’s sweatshirt. The effect was
alarming. She looked like a homeless person recently escaped from a mental
institution.

“What
happened now?” Anya jumped up, looking from Jenna to Zach. Zach stepped
forward, steering Jenna inside, ushering her onto an overstuffed chair. She
stared blankly at the wall as he spoke.

“I didn’t
know where else to take her. She and
Airika
had a fight.
It sounded pretty bad.” He looked over at Felicity, then back at Anya, silently
motioning for her to join him out of earshot.

“What
happened?” Anya asked, when they were far enough away.
He
hesitated, not sure how much to say.

“I heard
them fighting backstage—she and Alex.”

“I thought
you said she and
Airika
had the fight,” Anya prodded.

“They did.
It was about Alex,” he said, not looking up. Anya nodded, her fears confirmed.
“Did she leave him?” He didn’t say anything.