Rocked Under (32 page)

Scott gripped my arm tightly and my wide eyes looked into furious green ones. Scott hauled me away and didn't stop until we were hidden under the staircase. 

He caged me in so I couldn't go anywhere. “What the
fuck
are you doing?” he shouted so loud that I didn't need to be close to hear him. His neck was corded and his fists were ready to fly — prepared to fight anyone that got in his way. 

“I was dancing! You wouldn't dance with me and I didn't want to dance alone.
Why
did you hit him?” I yelled back at him but I knew m but I the answer. I felt like a bitch for secretly revelling in the thought of Scott getting jealous.

"Are you seriously asking me why?" his eyes bugged out. "You didn't want his hands on you, that's fuckin' why!"

"How do you know what I want?" my hands went to his chest and pushed but he wouldn't budge.

"It doesn't fuckin' matter, you’re not dancing again tonight." He sounded decided and he pushed his chest closer to me to drive home the fact that he was bigger and stronger than me.

"Yes, I am." I went to walk past him but he scooped his arm around my waist; his other went into my scalp where it clutched a handful of my hair and pulled so I was looking up at him as he rose to full height.

"Let go of me."
 

He looked down at me darkly. “You’re not going back out there.” He growled. “You’re better than that. I won't let someone else touch you because you want to hit back at me, I'm not worth it."

I gasped.

"
Fuck!
Why are you doing this to me?” he shouted.

I relaxed in his hold then and reached a hand up to his face, my own softening. "Isn't it obvious?"

He closed his eyes, then let me go and stepped back shoving his hands in his pockets. "No, it's not."

He let me
go
? I didn't understand. Last week he was saying how much he wanted me and now, when I try to show him what I want, he lets go? I closed the distance between us. I slipped my hand around the back of his head and brought his head down to mine.

Our lips joined and I felt Scott stiffen but as I moved my lips over his slowly, softly, he relaxed. My hand slid up into his glossy hair while my other went around his back. His hand cupped my cheek affectionately as his lips took the lead and we begun a slow, deep dance that went on and on until my heart was swelling, overflowing with love for him.
 

My lips were released and he placed gentle kisses on my cheeks, down my neck, hitting the sensitive part on the way.

I slipped my hands under his shirt and skimmed over his back, every muscle defined. "Scott," I moaned as he nipped me tenderly.

Without warning, he gently put me away from him and held me at arms length. His eyes were wide as he stared at me in shock.

I frowned, why did he stop us?

"Fuck sake, babe." A hurt expression crossed his face. "This has got to stop."

Rejection was like a slap across my already heated cheeks. I stepped back from him. Everything crashed in — where we were, the people around us, the music…

His expression was one I hadn't seen before — hard to read. I looked down.
He rejected me again?
I had made my move and he didn't want me. I felt embarrassed all of a sudden. I clasped my hands together.
 

I looked up at him. "You don't want me," I stated.

Surprise flared in his eyes, his hands came out of his pockets and he took a stilted step towards me. "I don't know where I fuckin' stand with you; I never have. All the times you've blown me off — all the fuckin' shit you put me through…" His eyes burned into mine.
 

He was right, I couldn't just change my mind like that. What shit had I put him through anyway? I sighed, we had put each other through it, each of uit, eachs at fault in our own way. I couldn't unwrap the cotton wool from my heart and he couldn't stop sleeping around even though he wanted me at the same time.
 

I looked at him, his frown was in place, his anger still there. “I’m taking you home.”

“Im not going home, Scott. Go without me.” I wanted to be away from him now.

“No fuckin' way am I leaving you here,
goddammit!
” he gripped my wrist.

“Get your hand off me.” I said firmly. I was the worst kind of brat but I wanted space from him. Being blanked like that hurt and I didn't,
couldn't
let him see it.
 

He dropped his hand and looked at me like I had grown another head.

I stared him down before I brushed his body with mine as I went back out to the dance floor. I went with the music, raising my arms above my head and swinging my hips as I sensed his hungry gaze caress me.
Touch Me
by
Rui Da Silva
started playing. I opened my eyes and found Scott's blazing with need. Every part of him was pure male aggressiveness, I sensed a violent hunger flare in him as he crossed his arms and lowered his head without taking his eyes from me.
 

I was caught in his stare, in our own need. I loved him so much that I couldn't breath. Without realising, I begged him with my eyes to come to me. I needed him so bad that I ached painfully with it. I danced on but when he didn't come over, pain clawed inside my chest and my throat thickened.
 

Then he pushed away from where he was leaning and came towards me.

He pulled me into him roughly as his stormy sea green eyes glittered down into mine. I didn't have a second to catch my breath before his mouth came crashing down on mine. His tongue stroked mine firmly, and frantically. He gripped me tighter, his hands digging into my back but I welcomed it. This is where I belonged, in his arms. I felt safe here, he would never let anything happen to me.

His hand went into my hair and pulled me away from him, “Is this what you wanted, Emma? To drive me over the fuckin' edge?” he rasped loudly above the music.

I let my gaze wonder over his face, the face I had come to love so much more than I thought possible.

"Don't look at me like that." He closed his eyes tight, "I hate you right now," his nostrils were flaring and his jaw clenched.

His words slashed through me and broke me. I looked away from him wanting to hide my face from the pain that I knew was painted across it.

This wasn’t working out how I wanted it to, he was too mad at me to give me what I wanted. If there was a first time for us, I didn't want it to be out of anger.

I struggled out of his hold. “I'm going home."

Chapter Thirty-six

As we entered our communal hall, Scott dropped my hand as though it would poison him.
 

He had followed me out of Soundz, took my hand forcefully and almost marched us home. The silent walk had been awkward and tense with sighs in between.

“Go to bed.” He turned his back on me, about to go upstairs without saying goodnight.

“I’m a big girl, don't tell me what to do.” How dare he talk to me like a child. Is that how he saw me?

He spun to me and stepped nearer, his frown in place and his mouth pursed. “You’re a big girl? What was that about tonight then?” he came closer. “You don’t think, do you? Any one of those guys could’ve taken you and it would your own fuckin' fault for acting like a hooker,
fuck
, you even tried to come on to
me.
”
 

I looked down at my feet, it was true and he had every right to be annoyed with me.

His hand caught my chin tightly and pulled it to him, “Don’t
do
that!”

I moved my head quickly to the side so he couldn't see my shame.
You have the most readable eyes that I have ever known…
 

“You did it on purpose.” His voice was gruff, defeated. Then he turned and went upstairs.

I didn't do it to hurt him. I had tried to tell him that I loved him but it had all gone wrong. His rejection was too much for me and I fucked up. When it came to him I was impulsive and I knew I was but I had always been that way when I had been hurt.

I marched up the stairs after him a few minutes later after deciding what to do and I knew that I should apologise. I didn't want to hurt him, I fucking loved him and when he hurt, I did. I went into his apartment without knocking. The sound of
Nothing Else Matters
by
Metallica
reached my ears. It was dark apart from a lone floor-lamp lit in the corner of his living room. Scott’s silhouette stood by the balcony doors, his hands buried deep in his front pockets and his head down.

He didn't move when I came in and shut the door, he didn't look around or even flinch.
 

“I’m not in the mood, Emma. If I were you, I would leave.”
 

His quiet warning unnerved me but I needed to do this. My heart was hammering in my chest painfully as I walked slowly towards him. “I’m sorry. The last thing I want to do is hurt you but I don't understand you. The other guys – I just wanted you to know a part of how I’ve been feeling when I see
you
with other girls and–”

He turned swiftly and paced angrily towards me. “Well, let me tell you that you did a good fuckin' job!” he grabbed my arms painfully and my eyes widened in alarm. “I’m hurting so much I’m fuckin' sick with it – I'm tired of feeling like this!” the muscles in his neck were corded, his lips curled back.

I could see pain in his eyes and I wanted to erase it more than anything.

I reached my hand up to his face but he flinched away from me and let go of my arms and, once again, turned his back to me.
 

“Get out – I'm done with this.” His voice was stilted, gruff.

Tears pricked my eyes, “No.”

“Leave, before I lose my goddamn temper.”

I took a shaky breath, “I’m not leaving you.” How could I leave now? I had made my choice and I was sticking to it. I knew he didn't mean any of what he was saying and I knew he would never harm me physically.

“I said, fuckin' leave!” he turned as he shouted at me.

I shook my head and we both stood facing each other, our breaths heaving. He stood there at war with himself and I watched, with my heart pounding, in fascination. I saw the exact moment that he lost it; his jaw clenched and he pinned me with dark eyes.

He strode t">He stto me and jerked me into him forcefully. His mouth went to mine angrily as he moved me back to trap me but he didn't need to – I was going nowhere.
 

My arms came around him and I pressed myself into him wanting to get closer. His tongue went in and out without mercy as his hands clasped my face. His hips went into mine, thrusting. I moaned low in my throat and stroked my hands through his hair.
 

All of a sudden, he stopped and placed his forehead on mine. His eyes were hidden behind his lids and he rasped air into him. “Go, Emma. I’m not strong enough to stop this again. I just watched you get mauled by fuckin' strangers. Every instinct in me is telling me that you're mine and to erase them from your body.”

I let my hands slip under his shirt and roam over his contoured back, he moaned and shuddered, the sound was the most erotic thing I had ever heard.

“Emma, don't.” He groaned and grabbed my hands away from him. He pinned them above my head. His eyes were full of desire and pain. He banged my hands against the wall again lightly, "Stop."

I whimpered, “Scott,” my voice was breathless as I tried to wriggle my hands free, the need to touch him was unbearable.

He frowned and watched me for a moment, his eyes changing tone. As though coming to a decision, he lowered his mouth to mine slowly, hesitantly, waiting for me to refuse him. His lips brushed mine softly before he took them away making me whimper my need for him again.

"I don't want you to stop." I could weep with how much I wanted him.

A confused look entered his expression. "Emma–" he took a shaky breath and looked away.
 

I wanted him now, I couldn't fight this anymore and I didn't want to. I couldn't bear to be away from him for months again while he went on tour – I couldn't do it. I was ready for him, ready to love him.

He swung his head back to me, his eyes intense and sad. "–I can't do this with you."
 

“Scott, please.” I begged as my hands went to his shoulders. I pulled his head closer, "I need this, I can't get you out of my head. I want it to stop."

His hands clinched my waist, "We can't. I'm not what you need but, fuck," he squeezed my waist, "I wish I could be."
 

"You're everything I need and all I can think about is what you would feel like inside of me!" I raised my voice and put my lips on his forcefully.

For a split second he froze, then, with a low growl, he clutched me to him and surrendered. His mouth devoured mine. The days' stubble scraped over my sensitive skin. His hands travelled over my butt where he took a breath and hauled me up quickly. I wrapped my legs around his waist and his mouth came back to mine. I felt him hard, ready for me and I couldn't stop the jerk of my hips as I rubbed myself on him and moaned into his mouth. He put his head back and hissed as air rushed through his teeth.

He crushed my ass and moved me against him slowly, teasing me. I hissed and held him tight as his hardness hit me through the ridge of his jeans again and again. I was coming apart.
 

He watched me, his lips parted and his tongue darted out to dampen his kissed lips.

His mouth came down to my neck as we started to move to hiso move t bedroom, kicking the door closed as we went through. I was lowered onto the bed but I didn't take my arms and legs from around him until his body pushed me into the mattress. The feel of him there, between my legs, his mouth on my neck was where I needed him to be.

He eased himself up onto his knees to look down at me as I laid with my head on his pillow. His hand stroked me slowly from my neck, between my breasts, over my stomach and right down to where I ached for him the most. He cupped me – I gasped and jerked my hips, the intense pleasure too much for me. Too sensitive, I was too aware of him, of myself — of everything. His eyes held mine as he circled my clit with his thumb.