Room at the Edge (13 page)

“I think so,” Austin said.

“Jay, I want you to take ten deep breaths. In and out, slowly.”

“Good,” Austin murmured, petting his hair as Jay tried to obey. “He’s doing it, Liam.”

“Good boy.” Liam’s approval made Jay try even harder despite the shudders that were running through him as he attempted to stop crying. “Everything’s all right. Listen to me. I know you’re upset, but this isn’t the end of the world, not even close. Do you need me to come over?”

“No,” Jay said forcefully. “I don’t—”

“Shh, it’s okay.” Austin hugged him more tightly. “You really did have a bad day.”

“I’m coming over,” Liam said decisively. “And I’m not angry, Jay. I mean it. If I get there and find you’ve worked yourself up even more, I’ll put you over my knee as a way of saying hello. You know I wouldn’t do that if I were angry.”

As threats went, it felt more like a security blanket. “That’s… I wish you would, Sir.”

“You wouldn’t like it.” Liam sounded very sure about it. “I’d make sure you didn’t. Calm down. Austin, make him a cup of tea.”

The call ended there without the usual courtesy of a good-bye, and Jay exchanged a startled glance with Austin. “He’s coming here?”

“Well, it’s not like he’s not allowed to.” Austin glanced around and moaned, releasing his hold on Jay. “Shit, the place is a mess.”

On the apprehensive side, no matter what Liam said, Jay sat up straight. “No, it’s not.”

Austin was already on his feet, darting around the room and making what was already tidy even tidier. Abandoned on the couch, Jay wiped at his wet face irritably. There didn’t seem to be much point in continuing to cry, but he wasn’t close to the calm Liam had demanded, and no amount of slow breathing would get him there. “You’re supposed to be making me tea!”

“I will, I promise. I just need to sort through these magazines.” Austin cast a harried look over his shoulder. “Put the kettle on? That PG Tips stuff Liam likes is in the cupboard with the cereal, I think, right at the back.”

Jay got to his feet and deliberately knocked a cushion Austin had plumped onto the floor, stomping on it heavily as he stalked into the kitchen.

Tea. He hated tea.

He dumped out the few inches of water that had been sitting in the kettle for who knew how long and refilled it, then put it on the stove. The box of tea bags Liam liked was exactly where Austin had said it would be—Austin always knew where stuff was. Hell, maybe he had a labeled diagram in his head. Jay was probably lucky there wasn’t a written one to go along with it and a rule that he had to follow it exactly.

Jay found a mug, put a tea bag in it, and went in search of a box of tissues for his dripping nose.

“Tea?” Austin reminded him as he went past, and Jay didn’t even try to keep from rolling his eyes again.

“I know. I’m on it.” The tissue box in the bedroom was empty, and he had no one to blame for it but himself, since he remembered taking the last one a few days ago. There weren’t any new boxes in the hall cupboard, but he finally found one under the bathroom sink. He blew his nose loudly a few times, then took the opened box of tissues into the bedroom where Austin was pulling the blankets up and straightening them. “You know Liam won’t care how the place looks.”

“I care,” Austin said.

“Yeah, but you have OCD.” Jay sighed, listened for the whistle of the kettle and didn’t hear it, and swapped the new box of tissues for the empty one. “Can I help?”

“No, I’ve got it. Just deal with the tea?”

Watching the kettle boil felt like the times Liam put him in a corner, staring at the wall, a punishment he reserved for when Jay was at his most fidgety or petulant. Jay had never worked out if Liam did it to calm him down or as a more efficient way to drive him to the point where he needed a good, hard spanking to quiet the chatter in his head. Sometimes it was effective, and he could find clarity in the blankness filling his eyes and the awareness that he was submitting. More often, he fought the command to stay still, because not moving was intolerable. Kicking and squirming over Liam’s knees as the stiff bristles of a hairbrush were rubbed ruthlessly over freshly spanked scarlet skin was easier.

He made the tea and, on an impulse since he’d overfilled the kettle, made some for Austin and Liam too. If it felt like a social occasion, maybe Liam would feel restrained by good manners and go easy on him.

He took one look at Liam’s face five minutes later and changed his mind. Liam swept into their small apartment as chilly and brisk as the north wind, his searching gaze boring through Jay, who put his mug down on the coffee table before he spilled its contents.

“Sir, I—”

Liam dropped his coat over a chair and held up his hand. “You told me quite enough on the phone, thank you, Jay. I’m not here to listen to excuses or apologies, just to deal with the situation before it gets out of control.”

He sounded so fucking competent, the perfect executive, his blue shirt open at the neck, the sleeves rolled up neatly to expose muscular forearms dusted with dark hair.

Jay remembered Liam had mentioned the possibility of fisting him. Those strong, capable hands, the power in those arms harnessed to perform an act that required complete trust to change it from brutally invasive to an encompassing possession… God, he wanted it as much as he wanted the lick of flames against his skin, but he’d fucking blown it now. Destroyed Liam’s trust for the sake of a quick gasp and shudder a foot away from a toilet, the stink of pine cleaner making him gag.

Austin stood, going over to Liam with a confidence Jay guessed came of a clear conscience and dropping to his knees. Austin always looked so happy to be doing that, so relieved when Liam rested his hand on Austin’s head briefly in acknowledgment.

“Sir, it was my fault for texting him,” Austin began, his head ducked. “I should’ve waited.”

Okay, so maybe Austin wasn’t feeling guilt-free, not that there was any need at all for him to blame himself for Jay fucking up.

“Austin, if there’s any flagellating to do around here, you can leave it to me,” Liam said, clearly agreeing with Jay. “This is Jay’s fault, and he knows it. Go and sit by him, please.”

It was amazing how Liam took over no matter where they were, Jay reflected. Some people would think being in someone else’s house meant they had to defer to them, but not Liam. They were his subs, so wherever they were, they were his to command.

Jay found that oddly comforting.

The couch sank under Austin’s weight as he sat and reached for Jay’s hand. Whether it was supposed to be a request for support or an offer of it, Jay didn’t know, and he wasn’t sure he cared, either. The feel of Austin’s hand against his was familiar and reassuring.

“We can’t have a repeat of what happened today,” Liam said. “I’m sure you both realize that. Jay, it’s clear that you aren’t at a place where I can trust you to follow the rules based on my words alone. You require assistance, so I’m here to provide it.”

He went over to the chair where he’d draped his coat and rummaged in the inside pocket, coming out with something Jay didn’t recognize at first.

Liam made an impatient gesture. “Stand up. No, Austin, not you. Jay, take down your pants.”

Puzzled, Jay did, pushing them down to his knees as Liam stepped closer, allowing Jay to identify what he held. It was a chastity device, a combination of shiny chrome and what looked like black plastic.

“Don’t get hard,” Liam told him, but unfortunately that wasn’t something Jay could control right then. Which he supposed was the bigger problem, and getting bigger by the minute. Quickly, as if he’d done this before, Liam fastened the device around Jay’s swelling prick and slipped a tiny padlock into place.

“Rubbing you anywhere?”

It had all happened too fast. Jay had expected a spanking, but if he’d guessed in time what Liam was going to do, he wasn’t sure he would’ve dropped his pants.

Then he got a look at the serene confidence in Liam’s eyes and knew he would have.

“I… No, it feels…” He paused, searching for the right word. Not fine. Not okay. Not good. His dick was encased in plastic, enclosed, caged away. He couldn’t touch it.

When Liam’s hands closed over his, Jay realized he’d been scrabbling at the plastic frantically, trying to get to warm, familiar flesh and failing.

“No,” Liam said quietly. “That’s off-limits now. You can wash and urinate without difficulty, and it won’t show under clothes if you’re sensible about what you wear, but you don’t get to touch yourself. I hold the key.”

Austin was silent beside him, through shock or envy of the totality of Jay’s enforced obedience, Jay wasn’t sure which. This went beyond anything Liam had done to them. He was humiliated beyond words, still struggling with the reality of his situation.

“You can’t do this.” He was horrified, aroused, furious in equal measure, and the storm of emotions ripping through him was dizzying. He loved a dash of humiliation in a scene, but this was breathtakingly beyond that. His pants were around his ankles, hobbling him, air cool on his bare legs and ass. He couldn’t take his eyes off what lay between his legs, the curved plastic shell so out of place and alien looking. His dick, responding to his arousal as if it’d decided that emotion was strongest, tried to harden and couldn’t, compressed by the unforgiving shell of the device.

“I have done it,” Liam pointed out reasonably. “I’m your Dom, Jay. I’m owed your obedience. If you try to withhold that from me, I won’t permit it. I can’t be with you twenty-four/seven, even after you move in, so this is my way of ensuring I have that obedience.” There wasn’t a hint of gloating or triumph in his voice, just a matter-of-fact assertion of his rights.

“How long does he have to wear it?” Austin’s voice was stifled, subdued. Jay spared him a glance and saw Austin was twisting his hands restlessly in his lap, a sure sign he was agitated.

“Until I’m satisfied he’s learned his lesson.” Every word was crisp, Liam’s English accent very much to the fore. Liam tilted Jay’s chin up, forcing Jay to stare into his eyes. “I’m not angry,” Liam told him. “I expected this to happen at some point. The fact that I already had this device to hand should tell you that.”

“Take it off,” Jay begged him, his voice breaking. “Please, Sir.
Please
.”

“No. Don’t bother asking again. The answer won’t change. I’ll take it off when I judge you’re ready and not a moment sooner.”

There were tears in Jay’s eyes again. He turned toward Austin beseechingly, and Austin stood and gathered him close. It felt good to be hugged, even with his cock caged and his pants down, but it wasn’t enough to make him feel better. “I can’t do this,” he said against Austin’s neck.

“You can. Liam wouldn’t ask you to do something you can’t do.” Austin didn’t sound particularly convincing.

“Jay,” Liam said sharply, and Jay pulled away from Austin and looked at him. “Fasten your trousers and come here.” Liam sat down on the sofa chair while Jay forced his fingers to do as he’d been told and stepped closer. “Here.” Liam patted his knee.

Awkwardly Jay perched himself on Liam’s lap. He was off balance, not just physically but emotionally, and he twitched when Liam reached for him, but all Liam did was pull him close and hold him. Jay felt himself relaxing by degrees into Liam’s solid warmth. After a minute he sighed and curled even closer, clinging to Liam.

“This must seem unfair to you,” Liam said. “Austin, you don’t have to hover there. Come here and sit next to me.”

Jay didn’t open his eyes to see if Austin obeyed, but he didn’t have to. Of course Austin would obey. Austin was the perfect sub—liked being humiliated, liked being on his knees for hours, didn’t break the rules. The surge of resentment Jay felt toward him in that moment sickened him. He loved Austin. Maybe he could learn to be more like him.

“Jay, you haven’t answered me.”

Liam’s previous statement had been just that, a statement, not a question. Jay hadn’t realized it required an answer, and that wasn’t fair, either. “No,” he said softly.

“This isn’t a punishment,” Liam said. “It’s a tool. It’s meant to help you, not hurt you. Did you feel guilty when you broke the rule?”

“Yes.”

“There, see? This will keep you from doing anything that would make you feel guilty.” Liam patted Jay’s groin, bumping the device without enough force to hurt—that might make Jay hate it even more. He squirmed on Liam’s lap, wincing as his sore ass twinged.

“Why aren’t you angry?”

Liam chuckled. “Because I’m used to you misbehaving to get my attention?”

“Spank me,” Jay said, even though he knew that would hurt more than he’d enjoy. He opened his eyes, looking up at Liam’s face. “Do that instead.”

“No. You’re too bruised from last night. I wouldn’t be able to do more than pat you, and I’d find that frustrating.”

“And it’s all about you.”

Liam ran his hand over Jay’s groin again. “How does it make you feel to be wearing this?”

“Humiliated!”

“But you enjoy that. Both of you. And I’m not laughing at you, and Austin’s so hard he’s finding it difficult to stay still—but perhaps he should try before I remind him of how much I dislike fidgeting.”

Austin flushed and murmured, “Yes, Sir,” folding his hands in his lap. He was hard; Jay could see the shape of Austin’s erection clearly.

“Humiliation is a response to external judgments. It’s not an emotion you need to be feeling with us. Try again.”

Jay curled his fingers into the front of Liam’s shirt, the smooth fabric smelling clean and fresh, as all of Liam’s clothing did. “Helpless. Frustrated. I can’t touch myself. I can’t get hard. You’ve taken that away from me.”

“Yes, I have.” Liam brushed Jay’s hair back from his face, studying him intently. “Jay—Austin, I would’ve used these devices on you at some point even if you hadn’t broken the rules. You’ve just made it sooner rather than later.”

“Why?” Austin sounded genuinely bewildered. “We’ve been good for weeks, Sir.”

Liam settled back on the couch and drew Austin closer, his arm around Austin’s shoulders. “Why? Oh God.” He shook his head, a rueful smile on his face. “Sometimes I think you two leave me out of the equation or think I’m doing you a favor. Because it turns me on, of course. I’m sitting here so hard I ache, and I’ve been like that since I locked that thing around Jay’s cock. It’s incredibly arousing to control him on this level.” He arched his eyebrows. “What, I’m not allowed to enjoy this?”