Royal Pain in the Ass (10 page)

I nodded.
  “
Um, what if I haven
’
t done so yet?
”

“Start.”

I nodded again.
 

We pulled up to the shopping district.
  “
Are you ready?
”
Christine asked looking to me.

“Nope,”
I shook my head.
  “
But then again, I never will be,
”

“
This will be fun,
”
Christine giggled as she pulled me out of the limo.
 
Ian held a hand over his face.
 
I think he was dreading shopping as much as me.
 
We weren
’
t in the store ten minutes before Christine handed me an armload of clothes and pushed me into a dressing room.

I walked back out handing her a pastel pink shirt which had too many holes for me to be comfortable with.
  “
Do I wear it or wrangle tigers with it?
”
I asked holding it up, to which Ian laughed.
 
Christine let out a bubbly laugh and Ian just shook his head.

“You
’
re so silly,”
Christine smiled as she pulled me into the dressing room.
 
Before I knew it I didn
’
t recognize myself.
 
Christine had dressed me.
 
To my surprise a pastel purple dress actually didn
’
t look horrible on me.
 
I didn
’
t like it, but I didn
’
t exactly hate it.

“
This doesn
’t suit me,
”
I grumbled.

“
It does though, it suits your figure.
”

“
But I hate it,
”

“
Oh, me too!
 
I hate these kind of clothes, but I have to wear them for events.
  It
’
s good to have a few in the closet.
”
She beamed.

“
But, I hate it.
”

“
No one under fifty likes these kind of clothes,
”

“Hey,”
Lana muttered from somewhere outside.

“
Except Lana of course,
”
Christine called.
  “
Carolynn, you
’
ll hardly recognize her!
”
Christine beamed as she shoved me out.
 

“
Oh my, you look like quite the young lady,
”
Carolynn sighed, a huge smile across her face.

“
I feel like an idiot.
”
I grumbled.

“I
’
ll take you to the good shops next,
”
Christine offered with a wink.

I sighed.
 
Somehow the prospect of more shopping didn
’
t enthuse me.
 
I wandered over to Ian.
  “
How do I get out?
”

Ian laughed.
  “You don
’
t.”

“
What do I do?
”

“
You deal with it?
”

I turned to Carolynn.
  “
Is it too late to go back to America?
”

“Yes, darling.  I
’
m afraid it is.
” Carolynn smiled.  “
This really isn
’
t your cup of tea, is it dearie?
”

“
The last time I went shopping for clothes was before I interviewed for a scholarship,
”
I grumbled.
  “
Now I learn I have a duke for a dad. . . this is weird still.
”
I sighed.
 
At the next shop we met up with Amelia.
 
Ian gave her a kiss on the cheek, and they held hands but something wasn
’
t right.
  “
Ian, can I borrow you?
”

“
Um . . . sure,
”

I pulled Ian over to a rack of clothes.
  “
So, who
’
s the girl who broke your heart?
”

“
What do you mean?
”

“You
’
re in love with someone else,
”

“
I am not!
 
I love Amelia,
”

“
I never said you didn
’
t. 
I just said you
’
re in love with someone else.
”

“
I think you
’
ve had too much shopping for a day,
”

“
I think I
’
ve had too much of whatever Christine is on,
”
I laughed.
  “
Give me some of that to put in my pipe to smoke and everyone would be happy.
”

“Lana, let
’
s get some lunch,
”
Ian practically shouted as he stormed back over to Amelia and gave her a long kiss.
 
I noticed Lana was paying exceptional attention to the scarves.
 
Somehow, I just didn
’
t think scarves were what had her attention.
 
I had a funny feeling I shouldn
’
t say anything else, so taking Lana
’
s own advice, for a change, I kept my mouth shut.
 
I meandered over to Christine who was gushing about the new fashions she loved and hated and handed me an armful.

“
Want to help me make some outfits?
”
I offered.

“Sure!”
Christine pulled me into a dressing room and I kind of felt like Barbie.
 
She was just dressing me.

“
I have a question,
”

“
What
’
s that?
”

“
What
’
s going on between Lana and Ian?
”

“
Um . . . ask them?
”

I sighed.
  “
You can
’
t tell me then?
”

“It
’
s not really my place.
”

“
Can you tell me anything?
”

“
You look amazing in red.
”
Christine beamed.

“
About them?
 
Like what should I not say?
”

Christine looked serious for a moment.
  “Don
’
t talk about it.
 
They
’
re both in denial. It
’
s cute and sad.
  Now, let
’
s talk about something happy, like which shoes we
’
re going to get to match that top.
 
It really looks stunning on you.
”

An hour later we were sitting at a little bistro eating sandwiches the size of my pinky drinking tea.
  “
Anything else, your highnesses?
”
the waiter asked.

“
About fifty more of these?
”
I asked.
 
The waiter gave me a disgusted look but walked off none the same.

Ian was paying exceptional attention to Amelia who was talking about her cat in great detail.
 
I don’
t know about him, but I really don
’
t care about her having to clip her Himalayan
’
s claws so he didn
’
t destroy the antique furniture.
 
Call it a hunch, but I had a funny feeling he was about as interested as I was.
  
I kicked Ian under the table.
 
He scowled at me.
  “
What?
”

“
Can we run away yet?
”

Ian shook his head, but I caught that smile on his face.
  “No,”

“
Christine is in the tinkle palace, Lana is paying everything else attention, Carolynn is arguing with the hostess, and Amelia is so absorbed in herself that if we gave her a mirror I doubt she
’
d notice if we left.
”

“No,”
Ian replied flatly after a moment.

I hung my head.
  “
You were my last hope.
”

Ian gave me a strange look.
  “
What do you mean?
”

“
I don’
t fit in here.
 
I feel trapped.
” 
Ian looked at me for a long moment.
 

“
Amelia, darling, Juliet here isn
’
t feeling well, I think I should take her home.
 
Lana, make sure Christine buys lots of nice things.
” 
Ian grabbed my hand and dragged me out to the limo.

“
What?
”
Lana cried torn between the leaving Ian and Christine still in the bathroom.
 
I guess she figured Christine was the bigger problem because we managed to get away.

Ian sprawled out in the back of the limo.
  “
How old are you?
”

“
Twenty-one,
”

“
How long have you been here?
”

“
About a week,
”

Ian nodded.
  “I
’
ve had twenty-three years to adjust to this sort of thing.
 
It takes time.
  It
’
s not going to happen overnight.
 
Some of it will be scary.
 
Just go with it.
”

“
Where are we going?
”

“
To my other little sister
’
s house.
”

“
I thought Christine was your only sister?
”

“Let
’
s just say we adopted her, sort of.
”

We pulled up to a large manor.
 
I thought the Eastgate estate was huge.
 
It was a pebble in comparison.

“IAN!”
came a sing-song voice as Ian was tackled as soon as he got out of the limo.
  “
I got your text.
 
We have a new member of the family?
 
You didn
’
t knock someone up did you, you naughty boy?
”
this girl laughed who seemed right at home atop Ian.
 

Ian shook his head laughing.
  “
No way Fiore, you
’
re next to bear an heir.
” 
His laugh sounded warm, and somehow it didn
’
t seem like something he did often enough.

“Don
’
t jinx me!”
Fiore snapped, holding her index fingers up to make a cross.
  “
Hello!
  I
’
m Fiore, and you are?
” 
asked this girl.
 
She had dark blonde hair and fair skin.

“I
’
m Juliet, it
’
s a pleasure.
”
I smiled back.