Rush of Darkness (13 page)

They said their goodbyes, and Raine locked the door behind him. When she turned back toward Seth, he looked as confused as she was by Granger’s strange revelations. “Do you think that what he said is true?” she asked.

He lifted his shoulders, the muscles in his chest drawing her eye as the cotton of his shirt pulled tight across his firm pecs. Knowing damn well how dangerous it was to ogle him, since it always made her feel a little dazed, Raine set her jaw and forced her gaze back to his face, a sliver of wariness shooting up her spine at the intense, predatory way he was watching her.

Just because she’d decided not to run didn’t mean she planned to jump into bed with him, and her nerves had her babbling. “Personally, I think it sounds crazy. Not to mention impossible.”

His rough, breathless bark of laughter caught her off guard. “Impossible. Improbable. Christ, that seems to be the hallmark of our relationship.”

“We’re not in a relationship,” she argued, knowing she had to preserve as much emotional distance as she could.

“Sure we are,” he rasped, his head tilting a fraction to the side as he stared at her. “It might be dysfunctional as hell, Raine, but you can’t argue that there’s something going on between us.”

“You’re freaking me out,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around her middle.

“Good. ’Cause I’m feeling pretty freaked out myself.”

“If you’re trying to sweet-talk me, McConnell, then you have a lot to learn about women.”

He gave another rough burst of laughter, sliding her one of those killer grins that always made her a little weak in the knees. “Trust me, honey. When I decide to sweet-talk you, you’ll know.”

Raine just stared back at him, too turned on to do anything else. And he knew it, the knowledge burning like embers in the hot depths of his eyes as he took a step toward her.

“Granger had it right, by the way,” he said in a dark, rumbling drawl.

“Had what right?” she asked, wetting her lips, unable to break away from his smoldering gaze.

“I want you. In my bed. Under me.” They were rich, husky words that stroked her like a physical touch, and even though she was wary, she still wanted to curl into them, rubbing her face against their warmth. “Hell, I’ll take you any way I can have you, Raine.”

“This is insane,” she whispered through trembling lips, knowing she had to find some way to resist, because she was too close to making what would surely be a mistake.

God, how could it not be? She needed her hatred to keep her strong for her hunt, and he was only just leaving
that part of his life behind, trying to look to the future. A future she wouldn’t be a part of.

“I’ve heard Kellan and the others talk about your reputation,” she murmured, grasping at straws, even though she could feel the quicksand of an inevitable downfall sucking at her heels.

“Hell, they
all
have reputations.” He flicked the lamp on the dresser down to its lowest setting as he walked past it, the light becoming nothing but a soft, shadowy glow.

“But they’re particularly impressed by yours. For a human to be in the same league as a shifter? That’s a big deal, Seth.”

“Have I had a lot of women? Yeah, there have been more than a few,” he admitted, closing the space between them while she kept retreating, until she found herself pressed up against the door. “But do I want any of those women now? Not even a little,” he rasped, his eyes burning with a wicked gleam that told her he knew she was losing ground. “The only woman I want is standing right in front of me.”

“Then it’s a guilt thing,” she said, sounding pathetically desperate even to her own ears.

He snorted. “What? Making you happy and keeping you coming is going to change my past? The buzzer’s sounding on that one, Raine. Try again.”

“But you hate vampires!” she shouted, no doubt waking the humans who were sleeping in the neighboring rooms. “Just because you feel bad about some of the
ones you’ve killed doesn’t mean you don’t still hate the race!”

“I’m done with the hatred,” he told her, so close now that she could feel the delicious warmth of his heat as it pressed against her. “There’s another emotion burning inside me now. Has been ever since I met you. I can’t stop it, Raine. Can’t control it. And I’m tired of fucking trying.”

She trembled, stammering, “We c-can’t.”

“Why not? We’re both single. Both adults. Who’s it gonna hurt?”

“Damn it, don’t do this,” she pleaded. “Please, Seth.”

His nostrils flared as he drew in a deep breath, and she could sense his visceral struggle to hold himself back from her. “You say that, Raine, but do you have any idea how you’re looking at me right now?”

“And what about the way you look at me?” she demanded, feeling as if a part of her was battering against some invisible wall that separated them, doing everything it could to break it down, while the other part just wanted to hide behind its safety. “You might not hate me, Seth. I…I believe that. But you
do
feel guilty about wanting me.”

Frustration flared off him, vibing and hot. “That’s not—”

“Just listen to me! I’m not…I’m not blaming you. But we can’t pretend this is going to work.”

“It could,” he growled, “if you were willing to take a chance!”

And just like that, the wall started cracking, on the
verge of shattering into a million fractured pieces. “How can I take a chance on anything when I’m broken?” she snapped, tears streaming from her eyes in a hot, salty rush. “God, don’t you see that? I wouldn’t be any good for you like this!”

“You’re not broken,” he ground out in a thick, graveled voice. “You’re hurting, and I want to be the man you let get close enough to make it better. Damn it, Raine. I just want to get close to you.” He started to reach for her, but she flinched, and he dropped his hands to his sides, his muscles bunched with tension, his breaths ragged. So easily, he could have reached out and overpowered her.

But he didn’t. Instead, he forced his body back a step. Giving her space. Giving her the distance she’d demanded.

“Tell me to leave you alone,” he rasped, “and I will. Just say the words, Raine.”

She swallowed, pulling in a shaky breath…and tried. But nothing would come out, her voice frozen in her throat. And she knew why.

She didn’t want him to leave. Didn’t want to be alone. What she wanted was Seth, regardless of the consequences. For however long it lasted, she just wanted to wrap herself around him and hold on, taking every ounce of pleasure from the experience that she could get.

But she couldn’t just give in. Couldn’t reach for what she wanted, because she no longer knew how.

“Damn you!” she shouted, slapping him across his face as frustration poured out of her in a violent, uncontrollable wave of rage. “You’re driving me crazy!” she
cried, pounding her fists against his chest again…and again, until he finally snagged her wrists, manacling the delicate bones in his long fingers as he forced her arms over her head, pinning them against the door. His face was a rigid mask of hunger and lust, and she could feel how badly he wanted to pull her against him, his need blasting against her, driving hers higher, until there was simply no other choice but to give in.

“Please,” she whispered, hoping he could read what she wanted in her eyes, since she couldn’t get anything else out.

He held her stare, his breaths coming a little harder…a little faster. His burning gaze flicked to the hammering beat of her pulse at the base of her throat, then the tight tips of her breasts beneath her thin sweater, before shooting back to her flushed face.

Then he groaned two soft, husky words that completely melted her down. “Be. Sure.”

B
E SURE
…

Raine knew exactly what Seth was saying: that once he started, he wouldn’t be stopping. She closed her eyes, trying to think past the lust, but it was impossible. She would just have to steel her heart against him while she slaked her hunger, without letting him sway her from her course, because there was no other choice.

Raine could no longer pretend she didn’t
have
to know what it was like to be with him, the carnal need as necessary as the air in her lungs. She was shaking so badly she could barely manage a nod, but that was thankfully all it took to get him going. One second she was wishing for him, and in the next, his strong arms were wrapping around her, crushing her against his bandaged chest. His hands roamed her back, then slid lower, gripping her ass, while his mouth did deliciously wicked things to hers that made her go hot and wet in
all
the right places.

Eager to finally touch his magnificent body, Raine slipped her hands inside the back of his waistband…and encountered only warm bare skin, not a stitch of boxers or briefs to be found. As if he’d read her mind, he said, “After you left, I was in a hurry. Didn’t bother with anything but the jeans.”

“Sorry,” she whispered, not knowing what else to say.

“God, you have no idea how badly you scared me,” he rumbled, running his mouth along the sensitive edge of her jaw. “When I realized you were gone, I…Christ, I don’t think I’ve ever been that terrified.”

“Just kiss me,” she rasped, too needy to sort out what she should say. She just wanted to feel. To take and give pleasure back in return. Needing to touch him, she tried to push one hand into the front of his jeans, but he snagged her wrist, dragging it away from his body as he drew back his head.

Reading the question in her eyes, he forced out a gritty explanation. “Can’t take that.”

“But I want to touch you.”

His eyes crinkled sexily at the corners as he stared down at her. “You touch me, and this is going to be over before we even get started. No way in hell am I letting that happen.”

He didn’t give her another chance to argue. Instead, he kept her busy as she struggled to keep up with his devastating kisses, his mouth eating at the breathless sounds she made, while his hands made short work of her clothes. Her sweater was ripped over her head, her jeans unbuttoned and unzipped so quickly, she barely had time to register the actions before he was pushing her back on the nearest bed and ripping the denim from her legs.

He took off his shirt as she lay there panting, wearing only her bra and panties, as well as a head-to-toe blush that covered every inch of her skin. But he didn’t seem to
mind, his hot gaze leaving a scorching trail of heat in its wake as he looked her over, while Raine could only stare, wide-eyed and dazed, at the blatant proof of his desire. The top button on his fly had popped open, revealing the heavy, glistening head of his cock. She wished he’d left the light burning brighter, so that she could see that purely masculine sign of need more clearly, without the soft darkness obscuring the details. But she knew it was better this way, the shadows helping her to relax.

“So beautiful.” The words were soft and thick, as if he were simply speaking his thoughts out loud, his big hands shaking as he grasped her hips, pushing her farther across the bed. Then he pulled off her silky panties and trailed those deliciously rough hands up the insides of her thighs, shoving them apart. As he forced her legs indecently wide, pressing her knees into the bedding, a dark, primitive sound tore from his chest, his eyes dilating with hunger when he dipped his gaze from the pale ringlets on her mound to the soft, pink folds nestled beneath.

Raine vibrated with nervous energy, her breath jerking in sharp, shallow pants as she watched him crawl onto the bed with her, settling between her legs, that pale, golden glow of light playing seductively over the rugged contours of his body. Over those broad, muscular shoulders and strong, corded arms, his biceps bulging beneath his gleaming skin. He was like some wild, beautiful animal crouched over its prey, but she wasn’t afraid. She wanted him too badly. And though it surprised her, she truly did trust him.

“Seth,”
she whispered unsteadily, simply wanting to say his name. To feel it on her lips.

“Wanted this for so long,” he murmured, the rough, lust-thick words making her shiver as he drew his big hands back along her trembling thighs, until they framed her sex. He used his thumbs to spread her open and his lids lowered, the thick lashes leaving spiky shadows on his carved cheeks as he licked his lips. Then he leaned forward…and tasted her wet flesh with a deep, voluptuous stroke of his tongue.

“Seth!”
she said again, this time as a deep, throaty cry, and he gave a feral growl in response.

Though she sensed he was trying hard to control his aggressive sexuality, determined not to frighten her, there was no gentle easing into the explicitly intimate, erotic act. He touched her as though he had every right to her body, lapping his tongue over her melting sex as if he was devouring something sweet. Her back arched hard, heels digging into the mattress, while choked, husky cries fought to break from her throat. She fisted the sheets, her head thrashing, while her body struggled to make sense of the shocking sensations. All she could feel were those hot, wet licks and the rough bursts of his breath as he ate at her with a raw, savage avidity. Even as he became more frenzied, his control slipping, his skill was unlike anything she could have ever imagined. It was like he was inside her mind, sensing her pleasure. He knew exactly where to linger. Where to be soft. When to be rough.

His fingers gripped her thighs so hard she knew she’d
be bruised, but she didn’t care, needing that strong anchor to push up against, her hips rolling…and rolling. She’d never been this lost to sensation in her life—but this was
Seth
doing these incredible things to her body, his tongue lashing her clit, thrusting hungrily inside her, and she couldn’t fight it.

“Don’t stop!” she cried, pushing her fingers through the damp strands of his hair as she tried to hold him to her. “It’s too good…
Ah, God!
”

“Come for me,” he demanded, his lips moving against her clit as he spoke. “I want you to come in my mouth, Raine. I want to feel it. Taste it.”

Tears leaked from the corners of her closed eyelids, streaming in hot trails down her cheeks, a broken sob spilling from her lips as the tension within her pulled tighter…and tighter…and then finally broke. She came in a hard, shocking rush, the deep pulses clenching around his tongue as he thrust it into her again and again, while he thrummed her clit with his thumb. He stayed at her until her body finally quieted, her muscles heavy and lax, legs sprawled shamelessly wide as he lapped with hungry strokes, rumbling wicked things about her taste.

And then he was rising over her, bracing his weight on one hand as he used the other to rip down the cups of her bra. His fingers glistened with her juices, his lips parted for his ragged breaths as he rubbed that warm moisture into her nipples, then lowered his head and took one shiny tip into his mouth. He suckled hungrily,
greedily,
the pressure just shy of pain, but the pleasure so intense Raine didn’t care. She just wanted more, and
her hands roamed his shoulders and arms, squeezing the solid muscles and corded bands of sinew as they flexed beneath the sweat-slick heat of his skin.

He left both nipples throbbing as he suddenly reared back, that hot gaze seeming to touch her everywhere at once. He stared into her eyes, then at her mouth, her breasts, before settling another blistering look on her sex. Then he locked his jaw as he ripped open his fly and took hold of his shaft, a low growl in his throat as he rubbed the taut, swollen crown through her drenched folds.

“Just do it,” she groaned, digging her nails into his hips as she tried to drag him inside her. “I want this, Seth. I
need
it!”

“Birth…control?” he ground out, the muscles in his arm flexing as he gripped himself even tighter. “Can’t risk…don’t want to hurt you.”

She knew he probably thought she was still too weak to carry a child—but she wasn’t. And while it was clearly stark-barking mad to even be contemplating the idea, considering the circumstances of their relationship, she couldn’t deny that there was something oddly compelling about the thought of carrying McConnell’s babe. Would it have his amazing eyes? That golden hair that was shades lighter than her own?

And my brain has clearly been fried by lust. Only thing to do now is enjoy it.

“It’s okay,” she panted, so desperate she could barely form the words. “Alacea can only get pregnant during the two days before our cycle, so we’re safe.”

He gave a firm nod that sent a bead of sweat snaking down his nose, the hammering beat of his heart filling her head, while his decadent scent poured over her senses, driving her wild. She couldn’t believe this was really going to happen.
And there are no bad memories. No pain or fear. Just this insatiable craving for him…

She’d wanted this so badly, and now that the moment was here, it was even better than she’d imagined, her pulse rushing so swiftly she should have been light-headed. She was so excited she couldn’t stop her fangs from releasing with a sharp burst of heat, suddenly slipping beneath the curve of her upper lip—and that’s when disaster struck.

Though he tried not to show it, she caught the look of disgust in Seth’s eyes before he dropped his gaze to her breasts. And just like that, the sweet burn of desire coursing through her veins turned cold, like ice.

God, she was so stupid. She’d gotten so wrapped up in her own issues, she’d forgotten about his.

He was still the most gorgeous, masculine thing she’d ever set eyes on, and she knew that he wanted her. But Raine couldn’t ignore the fact that there was still a part of him that loathed being with her, and she felt herself lifting her hands to hold him back as he settled deeper between her thighs. “No. I…I can’t do this,” she stammered, pushing him away. “Please, stop.”

His gaze immediately shot to her face, a frown wedged deep between his brows. “What’s wrong?”

Her stomach twisted so hard, she thought she might be sick, and she tore her gaze from his as she wiggled out
from beneath him. “Believe it or not, I don’t like being looked at like I’m some kind of parasite.”

He flinched as if she’d slapped him, but didn’t try to deny it. Rolling to his back, he scrubbed his hands down his face and muttered, “Shit. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” she said in a choked voice, moving into a sitting position at the edge of the bed. “That just makes it worse.”

“Raine—” he started to say, but she cut him off.

“Do you really think there’s anything you could say right now to make this better?” she asked in a tight rush, her hands fisting the sheets at her sides.

He exhaled roughly, then said, “You know, just because a guy wants to get involved with a doctor doesn’t mean he’d let her operate on him.”

Her head whipped to the side as she glared at him over her shoulder. “It’s not my profession, Seth! It’s a
part
of me. Of who I am.” A fact she’d foolishly overlooked when this erotic interlude had started, because she’d wanted him so badly.

“And you don’t think I’d change the way I am if I could?” he growled, sitting up and shoving his hands through his hair, his frustration evident in the harsh lines of his expression. “Damn it. I’m not trying to hurt you.”

“I know that.” Her voice was soft, her anger slipping away as a sad sense of acceptance took its place
.
“I’m not blaming you, Seth.”

He pulled back his shoulders, his green eyes shadowed and bleak. “Sure as hell feels like you’re blaming me.”

“I’m not. But you have to be reasonable. How would this work?” she asked, shaking her head. “I can’t go into a relationship trying to hide what I am. Not even for an affair.”

He opened his mouth, ready to say God only knew what, but was interrupted by the ringing of his cell phone. Blowing out a sharp breath of irritation, he moved off the bed and zipped up his jeans as he headed toward the dresser, where he’d left the phone. He answered the call, then looked at her, saying, “It’s Ashe. I’m putting him on speaker.”

The vampire’s voice crackled from the phone. “Guys, we’ve got a problem. Gid and I just found out we’re not the only ones running surveillance on Spark. Liam, our cousin, spotted a Casus who’s watching her, too. The guy’s holed up in the room right next to ours. Said he’s a big bastard, with a scar that runs along the right side of his face.”

“It’s Seton,” she murmured, scrambling for her clothes. “He’s here.”

“How do you know?” Seth asked, giving her a sharp look. “I thought you couldn’t read him.”

“I can’t.” She pulled on her panties, then her jeans. “But I’m the one who gave him the scar. And I can read Spark.”

He turned the lamp on high, flooding the room with light. “Since when?”

“Since earlier tonight.” She didn’t look at him as she pulled her sweater over her head, but could feel the force of his anger as it blasted against her.

“You knew she was in town, didn’t you?” His voice was raw. “You knew before you ran.”

She nodded, saying, “But I wasn’t reading her as clearly as I am now.” Settling her gaze on the phone, where Ashe was still listening, she said, “Spark doesn’t know that Seton’s in town, but she did get a call from him earlier today. He told her he was delivering orders from Westmore.”

“What were the orders?”

“To come to Berlin and find me.”

“Was it a kill order?” Ashe asked.

“No,” she answered. “She’s meant to take me in alive.”

“So then why would Seton come to Berlin, as well?”

“I’m not sure. But I can tell you that Spark is suspicious. She knows there’s a good chance that I can use my powers to read her. She thinks they’re setting her up. Figures they’re using her as a decoy to distract us, so that a backup team can swoop in and close the deal.”