Safe (15 page)

But the biggest problem was I just couldn’t be with him. I couldn’t even if he saw me differently than the rest. I was too messed up and there was too much baggage.

This realization made me sad. Tears began to roll down my cheeks—why I wasn’t entirely sure, but they continued to fall. How could I be sad about something I never had in the first place?

I felt this strong urge to hit something—beat something. I needed to get to the gym. My fists connecting with the bag over and over again helped relieve some of my pent up frustration, but not all of it.

Sitting down on the workbench, I grabbed my water and took a huge gulp. I was sweaty and really needed a shower.

“Hey bro,” I heard Lukas’s voice from behind me and turned to look at him.

“Hey.”

“What’s wrong?” Lukas asked.

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. It’s all around town that you were out with Sadie today. Not go so hot?” Lukas smirked.

“Fuck you,” I barked, which in turn made him laugh.

“Oh … come on, don’t tell me that you finally realized that she isn’t your normal bag and tag.”

“Shut. It.” I yelled.

His laughter was causing the other members to take notice.

“Okay, okay … calm down here.” Lukas’s voice cut through the punches.

“Now why would I want to do that when I’m imagining your face is the one thing I’m punching,” I said, continuing to punch.

“Oh, come on. You know she’s not Stacy.”

Turning my eyes on him, I saw red. I didn’t want to hear about her. Being already pissed off at him, I did the best thing I could do … walk away.

The hot shower did nothing to calm me. Did I know Sadie wasn’t like Stacy? No, not for sure. I didn’t need my brother shoving Stacy down my throat. The best thing that woman did for me was move out of this town.

Getting out of the shower, I headed over to my locker and sitting on the bench was Lukas. Go figure. I should have known he wouldn’t go away that easily.

“What do you want Lukas?” I asked while digging through my bags to find my clothes.

“I know you’re not into the brother advice thing, but you’re gonna get it.” Sighing, I listened.

“Landon, ever since ‘it’ happened, you’ve been a mess. First, it was the booze, and now the women. I get that you want to have a good time with no strings. Hell, I like that. But it needs to change. It’s been years, and the one night stands really aren’t you. You never did it before Stacy.”

“You think I don’t know that,” I snapped.

“And it scares the hell out of you, I get that, but not all women are like
her
.”

Yes … it scared the hell out of me. And didn’t that make me a pussy.

“This whole talking about feelings shit is making me all warm and fuzzy,” I said sarcastically.

“Damn it, Landon! Don’t fuck this up. I don’t know if this thing with Sadie will work, but get your head out of your ass and see,” Lukas said, standing up. “Bro, you got the shit end of the deal. Everyone agrees. But it’s time to move past it. You don’t want to pass something up by being a pussy.”

“What the hell. You learn all that psychobabble on TV or something?”

“HA. HA. You know I’m right.”

Sighing … Defeat crushed over me. Here I was trying to make myself stronger to not want Sadie, but talking to Lukas made me want her more.

“Bro, she doesn’t want anyone. She told me flat out. That is why we’re going to be friends.”

“She may think that now, but once she gets some of that Ellison charm, she’ll change her mind,” Lukas said, smiling.

“I haven’t used charm for years dumbass. Not really my style.”

“Dumbass, huh?” Lukas stood next to me. “If this is something you really want, you’ll find it and use it.”

Lukas went to leave, but I stopped him. “Bro?”

“Yeah?”

“She doesn’t trust many people. She doesn’t trust me. Meg called her one of my whores today, and it didn’t go so well,” I said sheepishly.

“She what? Why the hell would she do that? Did you stand up for Sadie?”

Pulling my clothes on, I answered, “I tried, but Sadie actually stood up for herself before she walked out. I let Meg have it, but Sadie didn’t hear. I apologized to her, but she just wanted to go home.”

“Ah … so that’s the real reason you were beating the hell out of the bag, huh?”

“Maybe.”

Fuck. Men do not do this feeling shit … seriously, what is wrong with me?

“Look, bottom line is … if you want her, fight for her. Charm her, do things to make her trust you. It’ll take work, but you can do it.”

Blowing out a deep breath and rubbing my hand on the back of my head, I answered, “Yeah.”

“Hey Landon. Doesn’t that job on the Wright guest house start tomorrow? You might need to go check it out and make sure everything’s on schedule.” Lukas smiled and walked out of the locker room.

Climbing in the truck, I headed toward home. How in the hell was I going to get Sadie to trust me? I racked my brain trying to figure something out. Charming her, I could do. But trust was a whole different animal.

Pulling into my driveway, I saw a familiar car. What the hell was she doing here?

Not even getting out of the truck, I pulled up to where Meg stood by her car, her long legs crossed at the ankles. I rolled down my window. “What do ya need, Meg?”

“Hi to you, too. I need to see you.”

“Why?”

“I miss you.”

“You saw me earlier today, when you were a bitch to Sadie.” I knew I was being an ass, but I didn’t want her here.

Meg came up to the truck and leaned in, whispering, “Thought we could have some fun.”

“No.”

“What do you mean
no
?”

God she was clueless. “I mean no. Get in your car, leave, and don’t come back.”

I saw the rage start boiling so I cut her off. “Look, I told you in the beginning what this was. I told you again in the diner today that it was over. You need to accept it.”

“What does she have that I don’t?” she asked quietly.

“It’s none of your business. Please leave.” Really, it’s not. It’s no one’s. She already saw us together … let go already.

“You need me.”

“I don’t need you. You need to leave.”

Before I knew it, Meg reached into the truck, grabbed my head and began to kiss me. Sickness boiled in my stomach. I liked this before?

I instantly pulled away, pushing her away. “No. Don’t ever do that again. Leave now.”

I saw the spark fly out of her eyes. It would have been heartbreaking, if I had those feelings for her. But I didn’t. Never had. She was just sex.

“You’ll be back,” she whispered, turned, and went to her car. With one last look at me, she climbed in her car and drove away.

I wanted to yell at her, but I wouldn’t because there was no point in it. She wouldn’t get it.

Walking into the house, it was cold and empty just like always. Once, I loved this house. I built it with the intent of having a family in it. It was big—four bedrooms and five baths. I remember drawing up the plans with my brothers. I was so excited to build my own house.

That excitement went to shit about three-fourths into the building process. So, I moved in … alone. I’d never brought a woman here … ever. Oh, many women had tried to get inside including Meg, but had never been successful.

I had a small guesthouse just down the lane. I used to live in it before this house was built with Stacy. That was where I took the women who wanted to fuck. It was easier that way. I hated that place anyway, so why not add to it.

When I was ready to leave, I told them so. I liked my arrangement. I got my kicks and didn’t have these women invading my space.

I didn’t want to taint this home with any of that. This house was supposed to be love, and that left me a long time ago.

Visions of Sadie came to mind. Would she like it here? Shaking my head, I knew I wasn’t thinking clearly.

But I did come to the realization that if I wanted the Wright job done to my standards, I would have to go and manage it myself.

BANG … BANG … BANG …

What in the hell was that? I willed my sleepy eyes to wake up. BANG … BANG … BANG … Jumping out of bed, I threw the shorts and tank top on that were lying on the floor. Running out of my room, I saw Lauryn standing at the island drinking her coffee.

“Lauryn, what the hell is all the banging?” My tone was a little more snippy than normal.

“The guys.”

“What guys?” I barked back.

“Those guys,” she said, pointing out the large windows. Outside were several men, all sweaty, all with their shirts off, working on the deck.

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah. I’ve been enjoying the view,” Lauryn said, smiling.

“I bet you have. I’m gonna join you!” I said happily.

I felt like a stalker just sitting in the air conditioning watching them work while they sweated their asses off. But what the hell. After scanning all the men, my eyes landed on the one man that still had his shirt on. His back was to me, but his ass was very delicious.

His baseball cap was turned backward and had a large
G
on it. Suddenly, he ripped his shirt over his head, and I gasped.

“Holy shit!” I yelled, dropping the soda I grabbed a few seconds ago onto the floor. Good thing I hadn’t opened it yet.

“What?” Lauryn said.

“Over there.” I pointed to the broad shoulders of a man with a large cross tattoo across his back. Above the cross was the name Ellison in awesome graphic letters.

“Do you think that’s …” Before Lauryn could finish her sentence Landon turned around and saw us staring. His wide smile told me he knew what we were thinking. Damn men.

Feeling this pull to him, I needed to say hi. I could see the men outside turning to look at me. What the hell were they looking at?

I opened the door and smiled at Landon. “Hey Landon. Didn’t know you’d be here.”

“You wear clothes like that, I’ll be here every day.” Looking down at my clothes, I realized what I had on. My shorts barely covered my ass and my tank top was practically see through. My nipples were hard from just being around him, and they were poking through the shirt. Shit.

“I gotta go change,” I said quickly.

“You don’t have to on our account,” one of the guys said.

Landon turned toward the man. He didn’t say anything, but whatever expression he had, shut the guy down quickly, and he began working again without looking in my direction.

“That might be a good thing. You may give all my men heart attacks.” He smiled and I melted. Damn, why did he have to be so charming.

“I’ll see you later.” I ran through the house and up to my room.

I heard a knock on my door as I was searching for something to wear.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, dumbass.” Lauryn.

I opened the door to let her in. “I’m a dumbass, huh? I just wore practically nothing in front of a group of guys—one of them Landon—so I sure as hell am gonna ask who’s at my door!”

“Calm down, tiger.” Lauryn smiled. “So, Landon wanted to come and see you today. Huh?”

“He’s working, Lauryn,” I said, pulling my shorts on.

“Funny how he only stopped by every so often while the house was getting renovated, but when you come along, he’s outside sweaty with his shirt off. Hmm.”

“He’s just working, okay Lauryn. Yesterday didn’t go so hot. I’m sure I’m the last person he wants to see,” I responded.

“What do you mean? What happened?” Lauryn snapped.

I relayed what happened at the diner with Kay, which Lauryn was happy to go to dinner and be near Renzo, and I told her about Meg.

“She called you a whore? I’ll kill her!” Lauryn yelled.

“I handled it. I told you.”

“Yeah, but she needs to be bitch slapped,” Lauryn growled.

“No, she doesn’t. She just wants to be with Landon. She took it out on me since he doesn’t want her … or so he says,” I said.

“What does that mean?”

“Well, according to Meg, Landon always goes running back to her, so yeah ... whatever.”

“HA! She wishes! She may want him, but he doesn’t want her. I’m sure they’ve had sex many times.” I inwardly cringed. “But that was all it was for him. Nothing more.”