Safe (37 page)

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered to him. He didn’t answer back, and all I wanted was for him to wake up. It’d been twelve hours since we got out of that barn. Twelve hours I had been scared shitless.

Once I was able to untie myself from that damn rope, I ran toward Macy who had a gun pointed at Landon and Rob. I didn’t give two shits if she shot Rob, but Landon, it wasn’t gonna happen. I tackled her before she could get any shots off. I began punching her, hard, the anger from her betrayal taking over.

I had never been on this end of a fight before, and the surge of empowerment came over me. Fighting for something right. After she stopped fighting back, I quickly tied her up. I grabbed the gun. I was going to yell for them to stop fighting, but my voice caught in my throat.

The blood dripping down Landon was enough to set me off. I wished to God I had listened to my mom about getting shooting lessons. They would have come in handy at this moment.

I aimed and fired the bullet, shooting for Rob, but instead it landed in Landon. Fear spiked through me. I just fucking shot him. Oh. My. God.

His eyes turned and focused on me. The pained look on his face crushed me. I could see the anguish and hurt in his eyes from that shot. I didn’t have time to think. Rob was coming up to punch him again. I began shooting. Three hit Rob, and one other hit Landon.

Then everything stopped. No movement from either of them.

I killed Landon. I rushed over to him and found him still breathing. Rob was, too, but his breaths were sporadic.

“Shit!” I yelled.

I heard the girls mumbling, but I had to see where Landon was shot. I saw the entry wounds in his chest and arm. I ripped my shirt off and pushed hard on his chest to stop the bleeding.

I ran over to the girls and untied them.

“Oh God. Sadie, is he dead?” Lainey asked.

“No, Landon isn’t. Neither is Rob. Go get help,” I barked. Lainey and Lauryn took off out of the barn. I ran back over to Landon.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry.” I kept whispering in his ear, holding his hand.

Before I had time to think, the barn was filled with all kinds of people. They tried to get me away from Landon to work on him, but I wouldn’t leave him. The cops wanted to talk to me, but I stayed with him all the way to the hospital. And this was where I sat, waiting for him to wake up. I hadn’t left him, except for his surgery.

“Sadie?” I pulled my head up from Landon’s hand and tried to smile warmly to Lainey. Her face was badly bruised, and I was actually surprised she could see at all with her eyes being almost swollen shut.

“Hey. How are you?”

“Here. How is he?”

“Still out.”

Lainey looked to the ground, seeming to want to avoid eye contact. “How are you doing?” she asked quietly.

“I shot your brother, so not so good.”

“You didn’t mean to.” Lainey reached out, putting her hand on my shoulder. Her touch was warm and comforting.

“But I did. Now he’s here because of me.”

“No, he’s here because of me.”

Turning quickly, I looked her in the eyes. The agony and hurt was etched into her stare. “You didn’t do anything.”

“I brought Steve … I mean, Rob here. It’s my fault.”

“No. You didn’t. It’s all on me. I did this.”

“Sadie, I thought I loved him.” Tears began to course down Lainey’s cheeks, falling to the floor below.

“I did, too.”

“Everything was a lie. How could I be so stupid?”

“It’s Rob.” I sighed deeply, not knowing exactly how to comfort her in this moment. “How did you and Lauryn end up in the barn?”

“Steve … I’m sorry, Rob called saying he was here. I’d been waiting for him to show up. I was so happy he was here.” Lainey’s eyes traveled down to stare at her entwined fingers. “I asked Lauryn to come with me ‘cause I wanted them to meet … I never should have.”

Lainey’s tears became heartbreaking sobs. “He said he parked out by the barn so he didn’t block anyone in. I didn’t think anything of it.” Lainey paused. “When I saw him, I ran into his arms and began kissing him. I don’t know how everything happened. It was so fast.”

I stood and pulled Lainey into my arms as she sobbed. With her head buried in my neck, her entire body began to shake. “He grabbed me, hit me, and dragged me into the barn. I looked over for Lauryn, and she was out cold. That woman was dragging her underneath her arms.”

“We’re all okay now.”

Lainey pulled back from my arms. “No. We are not okay, Sadie. Stuff happened before you got there. It’s not okay.”

“What happened?”

Lainey fell to her knees on the floor with me following her. “I can’t. I just can’t.”

I wrapped my arms around her again and didn’t push. I wanted to know what happened, but I didn’t want to make it worse than it already was.

“Where’s Rob?”

“He’s upstairs, in a coma, unconscious. Doctors don’t know when or if he’ll wake up. One of the bullets hit a spot in his neck, severing an artery, causing him to lose a lot of blood.”

“Good. Serves him right. I want him dead.” He needed to be dead, and I wished I had better aim. If I had learned to shoot, he’d be gone, and Landon wouldn’t be lying unconscious in a hospital bed. I was so fucking stupid.

I put all these people I loved in danger, exactly what I didn’t want to do.

I was the one Rob wanted, not everyone else. But they got it because of me. Tears streaming down my face, I kissed Landon’s hand and lay my head next to it. This was all my fault. I did this to him.

If Rob woke up, it would only be worse. He’d come after me with a vengeance. I couldn’t let anything else happen to the people I loved. Fear ripped through me. What was I going to do?

“I’m so sorry, Lainey. I brought him here. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

Lainey held me tightly. “I don’t know what’s going on with Lauryn. She won’t talk to any of us. Renzo even tried, but she refuses.”

“Excuse me, ladies?”

Our heads popped around simultaneously at the sound of the man’s voice. In the doorway stood a man with light brown hair and a white jacket, his hand extended to mine.

“I’m Dr. Daniels. I came to update you on Landon.”

Standing, I took his hand in return. “This is Lainey his sister. Let me get the rest of his family. Hang on just a minute.”

I called out the door. “Doc’s here for an update. Come in.”

The family piled in the room with me. They’d been really good at letting me stay with him and waiting outside, even though I knew it had to be really hard on his mom, but I knew she had her hands full with Lainey.

After introductions, the doctor started, “As you know, Landon suffered two gunshot wounds.” I looked down at the floor, embarrassed, not wanting to see their faces. I was the reason for their sadness.

“We were able to remove all the bullet fragments and repair all the damage.”

“Why hasn’t he woken up?” I asked.

“He was in a lot of pain, so we gave him some strong sedatives. So technically, he’s not unconscious, just resting. The shot in his chest made him lose a lot of blood, but we were able to repair the damage. He will have a bit of scar damage, though.”

“How long will he be out?” Kay asked.

“I’d say a good six hours, maybe longer. We’re going to keep giving him the sedative to help him in the healing process. He’ll be in a lot of pain and will need lots of care. So the longer we keep him calm and not moving, the better.”

“But he’s gonna be okay?” I asked, finally looking at the doctor.

“Yes. He will have pain and discomfort. He’ll need quite a bit of recovery time, but overall, he’ll be fine.” Dr. Daniels smiled at me.

I laid my head back down on the bed.

“Do you have any other questions for me?”

“How long will he be here?” Kay asked.

“I can’t give you a definite on that yet. I know for sure forty eight hours.”

“Thank you Doctor,” Keith said as I heard the footsteps of what I assumed was the doctor walk out the door.

A hand rested on my shoulder, and by the feel of it, I knew it was Kay. “He’s gonna be just fine, Sadie.” She gave me a small squeeze and left the room.

The boys all followed her out, not saying a word to me. I knew they blamed me. They should blame me. I did this to their brother. The one I claimed to love. He made me feel safe, and what did I do? I shot him.

How would he ever forgive me for that?

Remembering the look on his face after the shot went off, I cringed. He was so hurt. I needed to leave. I really needed to run away. I needed to disappear.

Landon’s family would never forgive me. I would always hurt Landon. If Rob woke up, he’d come after me, and it’d been proven that no one was safe.

I was alone.

I would always be alone. Rob made sure of it. I was his. I would be his until he was dead. I needed to get away, but this time, disappear for good.

My aching heart wasn’t enough to keep them safe. I didn’t want to leave Landon. I loved him with every bit of my soul, but I couldn’t do this.

I couldn’t handle seeing him look at me like that again. He lost his trust in me, and he should for what I did. These were the thoughts running through my head as I fell fast asleep, gripping Landon’s hand.

Whipping my head up, I searched where I was.
Hospital
.

It was pitch black in the room; the only light came from all the monitors beeping away. Looking up at Landon, his poor face was battered and bruised. Rob did a number on him. He still looked as gorgeous as always. I loved him.

The thing I could do to protect him was to leave. If I left before he woke up, I wouldn’t have to see that look in his eyes again. Selfish ... yes, but I couldn’t do it. I never wanted to disappoint him.

I turned on the side lamp and grabbed a piece of paper from the drawer. I needed to write him and let him know how sorry I was and that I loved him.

As I wrote, tears streamed down my face, crashing onto the paper, but I couldn’t hold them back. I folded the letter up and wrote his name on it.

I kissed his lips, whispered, “I’m so sorry. I love you,” gathered my things, and left the hospital.

My eyes were gritty. They hurt to move, but I willed them to open. The bright light was too much. “Light,” I croaked out.

“Okay, son, I’ll turn them off,” I heard Mom’s voice say.

I looked around the room, realizing I was lying in the hospital. Everything started rushing back to me.
The barn
.

“Sadie!” I yelled, bolting out of bed.

“Landon, calm down. Everyone is fine.”

“Mom, where is Sadie?” I barked.

“We haven’t seen Sadie since yesterday. I don’t know where she is,” Mom said sadly.

Fear struck through me. “Where’s Rob?”

“He’s upstairs in ICU. He’s unconscious still, but he’s in that room.”

“Where did she go?” I asked, not believing for a minute she would leave me here for long.

“Son, calm down. You were just shot and had surgery. You can’t get all riled up.” Mom’s voice was stern, but I didn’t listen.

“No. Where is she?” My voice was getting louder.

Mom’s voice got soft. “Landon, I don’t know where she went. She didn’t say anything to any of us. We think she left in the middle of the night.”

“Did you call Lauryn?” I asked.

“No.”

“Call her now and ask where she is,” I demanded.

“Sweetheart, she left you a letter.”

Mom pulled out a folded up piece of paper and handed it to me.

“I’m gonna go get your dad and brothers. They’re downstairs getting coffee. Stay in this bed.”

“I will,” I said quietly.

I was hoping what I was holding in my hand wasn’t a fucking goodbye letter. No ... No … No... I wanted to rip it up. I didn’t wait to read it. But I had to.

Opening it up, I read:

Dear Landon,

I am so sorry for what I have done to you. I never wanted to hurt you, I love you too much.

I did this to you. I did. Not Rob, but me. I pulled the trigger, and that’s why you’re lying in that hospital bed. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me, just know that I will carry that with me for the rest of my life, and I will not forgive myself.