Safe (38 page)

I know that you’re disgusted with me, and it breaks my heart. I saw your eyes after the gun went off, and I wish I could erase that from your handsome face. I swear I did not intend on shooting you.

You must know that I love you, but I don’t think I have ever told you to what extent. Many people tell others they love them, and those words can be empty, but mine are not.

You are the first man that has showed me what it felt like to be loved, cherished, and appreciated. You picked away at my hard shell of a heart and filled it with the most beautiful feelings that I never knew I could have.

You made me feel whole … complete.

You made me feel safe. I haven’t felt that way in a very long time, but you made me feel it. For that, I thank you with all my heart.

I thank you for putting me back together again. For loving me and being there for me. You are my best friend, and I love you.

I’m sorry, but I have to go. Rob will wake up, and when he does, I have to be gone. I cannot allow him to hurt those I love again. He has proven that he can, and if I’m gone, he’ll have no reason to stay.

Please understand that I am doing this to protect you, your family, and mine. Please don’t try to find me because you won’t.

Just know that I love you with every fiber of my being and will hold you in my heart forever.

Love always,

Sadie.

Tears fell from my face, splashing onto the paper. She left me … again.

How could she do this? And what asinine thoughts were going through her head that Rob would come after her again. I would kill that son of a bitch before that happened. Anger, grief, and pain were seeping through my veins.

She was the love of my life, and I’d be damned if she ran away because of him.

“Hey brother. How ya feelin’? Renzo said as he walked in the room.

“Get me out of here now,” I growled.

“Can’t.”

I stared into his eyes. “Renzo. Get. Me. Out. Of. Here. Now.” My voice was now angry.

“Dude, you just woke up. They’re not going to discharge you,” Lukas spoke up from the doorway.

“I’ll sign myself out. Go get the papers now,” I barked.

“Dude, she left, it’s better just to move on,” Renzo said.

“Fuck you. When you are in love with someone, then you can tell me to move on, but until then, shut the fuck up and get the papers now!”

“Son, calm down.” Dad walked into the room.

“No. Get me the papers, and I’m signing myself out. I don’t have a lot of time or she will be gone for good.”

“What do you mean gone for good. She’s not gonna kill herself, is she?” Dad asked.

“I don’t think so, but she’s going into hiding. She says no one will find her. I can’t let that happen. Get. The. Papers.” I bit out again.

“Calm down, brother, let me see what I can do.” Renzo walked out of the room.

I lay back in bed thinking of what I needed to do—where I needed to start.

“Give me my phone,” I barked.

“It’s not here. Use mine,” Lukas said.

“You got Lauryn’s number?”

“Yeah.”

I scrolled through the names and hit send.

“Lauryn, its Landon. Where is she?”

“Landon, calm down.”

“No. Where is she?”

“I know you’re angry, but she said she had to go.”

“Why didn’t you stop her?”

“Have you met Sadie?” I knew she was trying to be funny, but I wasn’t in the mood for it.

“Lauryn, where is she?”

“She went back home. Said she had to clear a few things up. I tried to talk her out of it and tell her how crazy she was, but she wouldn’t listen.”

I could hear Lauryn’s voice crack and knew she was crying. Damn it.

“So she’s home?”

“Yes, but I don’t know for how long.”

“I’m getting on a plane.”

“Wait, aren’t you in the hospital?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

I hung up and looked up flights. The soonest one I could get left in two hours. I could make it.

“Lukas, take me to the airport.”

“You haven’t checked out yet.”

“So? Take me.”

I began to get out of bed, but needed to stop for a moment. The dizziness invaded my head, but I had to get it together.

“Whoa, bro. Hang on there.”

“Get my clothes,” I demanded.

“I think you should lie down.”

“I don’t give a flying fuck what you think. Get. Me. My. Clothes.”

“Fine. But get another ticket because I’m coming with you.”

Lukas went to the closet and threw my clothes at my face. Bastard.

“It’s still open on your phone; set it up.” I turned and got dressed. It wasn’t easy. My body ached and I couldn’t move my shoulder for shit. Putting on my shirt was a pain in the ass, but I got it on.

I was going to get to her.

She was my world, my life. I loved her. Now, I needed to show her how much.

“Where are you going?” Shit. The nurse. The one who was a fucking pain in the ass.

“Out of here.”

“Oh no, you’re not! Get in bed,” she demanded. I did not have time to deal with this bullshit.

“I’m releasing myself. Bye.”

“Don’t make me call security.”

“Call whoever the fuck you want. I am leaving,” I barked.

“Whoa! Slow down. You gotta sign these papers,” Renzo called from the doorway. I slowly made my way to him, signed the fucking papers, and got the hell out of dodge, along with enough pain meds to get me through a few days.

The flight didn’t take long, and I slept most of the way. The pain meds were kicking my ass.

Lukas rented an SUV, and we were currently on our way to Sadie’s mom’s house. How fucking dare she think she would just disappear from my life. HELL. NO.

Pulling up to the house, I saw Sadie’s little car. Thank God she was here.

“What?” Sarah barked as she swung open the door. Her smirk told me I was doing right.

“Where is she?”

“About time you got here. Talk some sense into my daughter, please.”

She stepped out of the walkway.

There, sitting on the couch all balled up, tears streaking her face, eyes wide in shock, was my girl. She jumped to her feet and came over to me.

“Landon, what are you doing here? You should be in the hospital.”

She was so close I could smell her strawberry vanilla scent, and I felt home.

I reached up with my good arm and brushed her face. Her eyes closed as she leaned into my touch. God, I loved this woman.

“I’m here, because my girl wants to disappear from my life. I love her and she loves me. We need to be together.”

Her pained eyes opened and began crying. I tried wiping the tears, but stopped when they got heavy.

“I can’t be with you. He’ll hurt you again. I hurt you.”

“You were trying to protect me. You don’t think I know that.”

“I shot you.”

“Yes. We really need to work on your aim.” I smirked at her, hoping to get one back, but she dropped her head. I pulled her into my chest and wrapped my arm around her, hugging her as tightly as I could.

Her sobs picked up intensity. “It’s all right, baby. You’re safe.”

“When he wakes up, he’ll come after me, you … everyone,” she mumbled in my chest.

“Then we deal with that if it happens. We’ll do this together. We are in this together.”

Sadie couldn’t control her sobs now, and I could do nothing but whisper how much I loved her until she began to calm.

She looked up into my eyes. Hers were bloodshot, but still so breathtaking. I didn’t think she even knew what she did to me.

“He’ll kill you.”

“No. Don’t think that way. We’ll deal with him if we need to.”

No way would I let that fucking prick hurt her, ever. I would kill him myself before he ever had the chance.

“I’m scared,” she whispered.

“Then be scared with me. I want to be your rock when you need strength, your cushion when you fall, your heart when you need love, your safety net. Always.”

I brushed the pad of my thumb over her bottom lip and watched as the tears fell from her eyes again.

“I love you, Sadie. I will do anything to protect you, to keep you safe.”

“I know,” she whispered. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Come home with me. Please.” I knew I was begging, but at this point, I didn’t give a damn.

“Okay.” She finally smiled.

Relief washed through me.

I lowered my lips and crushed them to hers. I so loved this woman.

Six Months Later…

“Where are we going?” Sadie asked while driving.

“It’s a surprise.” I smiled over to her, pulling her hand into mine.

“Give me a clue?”

“Nope. Sit back and enjoy the ride.” I pulled her hand to my mouth, kissing her gently.

She fell back in her seat and began to stare out the window of the truck.

These last six months have been one hell of a rollercoaster ride. Once I finally got Sadie home, we had a lot to work through. She felt she needed to make amends to everyone, my family, her family … everyone. She seemed to be falling in to a bit of a rut saying the word
sorry
to everyone she encountered, repeatedly.

Sadie carried around so much guilt for what happened that she couldn’t get past it. She was actually turning into a zombie, never getting out of bed, and crying … a lot. I couldn’t take another day of it.

We finally had a meeting with my family, minus Lauryn who didn’t want to be part of it. We each said our piece about what happened and how we felt. Self-absolution was a great thing. It took a while for it all to sink in for her, but once it did, I could see the change in her.

Except where Lainey was concerned. Sadie was so careful around her—not wanting to say anything to upset her. Lainey hadn’t been dealing with what happened very well. She actually liked ‘Steve,’ that fucker. She was crushed to find out she was repeatedly lied to and used.

After learning about my sister and her involvement, I was beyond irate. I couldn’t contain it. All the emotions of Sadie and Lainey being hurt were eating away at me, but before I could do anything to that fucker, someone else got to him first.

We were told that his medicine got switched in the hospital, causing him to have a massive heart attack, in which he didn’t survive. Who knew what really happened, as long as he was buried and gone, that was all that mattered to me.

Sadie took the news of his death very well. I knew she didn’t want anything to do with him, but when she smiled at his death, I was actually surprised. I knew she wanted him gone, but I didn’t know she really wanted him dead.

“I’m worried about Lauryn.” Sadie broke my thoughts.

“I know.” I couldn’t say anything else.

Lauryn had become closed up in her house—shutting off everyone and everything. She barely went to work or even to the grocery store. Her once bubbly fun self was deteriorating. I even asked Renzo to go over and talk to her. He did, repeatedly, but she wouldn’t come to the door. She even shut out her parents. She refused to speak to anyone.

I knew that Sadie was carrying this guilt on her shoulders, and I didn’t know how to help her.

“I wish I could make it go away for her,” she said, her voice soft.

I squeezed her hand, trying to be reassuring, but unsure if I succeeded. “I know. Give it time. Hopefully she’ll come around and hopefully Z can help.”

Silence filled the truck, and my heart was breaking with hers. When she hurt, I hurt. “Our place.” She smiled.

Driving up to the clearing in the trees, I saw the small blanket and picnic set up. I didn’t have mom go to all the fancy stuff with tulle. That didn’t end up so hot.

This time was simple.

“Yeah.” I stopped the truck. “Come on, baby, let’s eat lunch.”

I ran over to her door, opening it for her. I loved seeing the smile on her face when I did. I took her hand in mine and walked her to the blanket.

Lowering to our knees, she said, “This is beautiful. I love when you bring me here.”