Safeword: Rainbow (8 page)

"I knew from the beginning that our time was limited, so I soaked in every detail. You didn't know that. It wasn't fair, and I'm sorry about that."

"I know what you used to do for a living, and I can come up with a lot of guesses as to why our time had to be short. Plus, I was never angry with you, it just seemed that the way you said goodbye, was, I don't know. You didn't have to do that, and I appreciated that you did. If you had just left without telling me anything I'd have gone back to the club looking for you and you would not have been there and my heart would have been a different kind of broken. I'd have felt used, I think. Or I would have doubted what I'd felt. So, telling me that you were leaving, and that I hadn't imagined what we'd had together, was a pretty nice thing to do. Not something most men would do, I don't think."

"I felt chickenshit for doing it when you couldn't ask questions or say anything back."

"Yeah, I guess it was chickenshit, but… I was still never really angry. My marks did fade completely in about two weeks, a full week before my next research trip. But I was sad to see them go, they were some sort of connection to you. I guess. What are you cooking?"

He kissed her forehead. "I prefer to have the big meal in the middle of the day and then eat light later on. So, for our lunch today, late as it is, we have chicken Parmigiana, green beans, and a mixed veggie dish that will make your mouth water."

"If you can get my dad to eat his vegetables that will be a miracle. Why will it make my mouth water?"

"It's just zucchini and squash and onions, but I cook it with beef bouillon powder and brown sugar and a touch of steak sauce and it just brings the flavors alive."

She watched his hands flying around cutting up the vegetables and her eyes got wide. "David wasn't kidding, you really can cook. Well, I guess I knew that; the dinner you cooked for me three years ago was incredible. Where did you learn this?"

"One of my foster dads was a professional chef and he spent a lot of time teaching me things."

"Foster dad? You haven't mentioned family before. I... I guess I don't know what questions to ask. Do you want to talk about it?"

Tyler started to shut down, and realized that he couldn't do that. Not with Viv. It wasn't a huge deal anyway; just something he'd prefer not to talk about. But, if he were going to try to make a relationship work with her, he had to share this kind of thing.

"How about I give you the short version now and maybe we go into the longer version later?"

"Sure, if that's what you're comfortable with."

"My mother was a spy when she got pregnant with me. They were actually called spies back then, too. Not the politically correct titles we use nowadays. Anyway, apparently my biological father had been a spy as well, but he's not listed on my birth certificate and I don't know who he was. I just know what little my mom told an eleven year old kid. Once she started showing that she was pregnant my mother got an office job with the agency, something that didn't require travel, and she kept those kinds of jobs after I was born. It was just her and me, she never spoke of her parents and I never asked why I didn't have grandparents. I've looked for some grandparents as an adult, but she must have changed her name or something because I could never find an actual record of her birth. I mean, I have the one that is on file, but it doesn't appear to be an accurate statement of where or when or to whom she was born. Anyway, she was a good mom, a great mom, but she was killed when I was eleven years old. Since there were no relatives, I went into the foster care system. I had three sets of foster parents in seven years, and only one set of them was really bad, so I guess I had it pretty good, compared to what other kids have experienced in the foster care program."

"And David is the closest thing you have to family, right?"

"Yeah. I first met your brother in college. I had a full scholarship as part of the foster care program. Kids in the foster care program who have at least a 3.0 GPA when they graduate high school get a full scholarship to a pretty decent list of colleges in the state as long as they keep their GPA above certain points at each semester. I wanted to do what my mom had done, so I used my mom as a reference point and managed to get someone at the CIA to tell me what classes I should take if I wanted to work for them. It seems Mac had received similar advice from the FBI and we were signed up for many of the same classes. Mac and I met on the first day of school and we've been close every since. That first year, when he realized I didn't have family to go home to for Christmas, he invited me to go home with him. You were still in high school but had been invited somewhere overseas as part of an exchange program or something. It's funny, I've been around your house a lot in the last fourteen years, but I've never seen you. I guess you've been off at school doing your own thing, but I've spent enough time around your dad that I've got a lot of affection for him."

"And you are willing to risk that friendship with David to see where things might go with me?"

"I told you, I went back looking for you. For three years I've wished I'd found out your real name, or something about you that could lead me to you. I even, ummm, kind of found a way into the member files at the club, but they don't list aliases and there was no way to figure out which file belonged to someone who called herself Katrina out on the floor. And Ron wasn't working there anymore either. I found information about him, but he and his wife were both listed as living on a ship on some sort of research grant when I went looking, and then six months later when I looked him up they were at the South Pole on an expedition. I realize now that should have been a hint that if you were friends with him then maybe you did that kind of thing, too. And that would have led me to the University. Ah well, hindsight."

He was quiet a moment and then said, "I should tell you that when I left the message in the drop for Mac to let him know we're okay, I told him it seemed I'd finally found the girl from New Hampshire from three years ago. It occurred to me that it might be better to let him have some time to think it over. I've learned a bit about his Irish temper, sometimes it's better to let it have a chance to cool off before you actually see him."

"I'm surprised he hasn't come flying in the door at us."

"He can't, not without endangering you. We have to have complete silence between us. If this asshole is monitoring communications then we'll give ourselves away. The internet box I'm using is secure, we're both going through a series of proxies to get there, plus we're using some pretty intense encryption. That's the only way we can talk, and even for that we need to keep it short."

"But, if this guy is going to wait around until I show up then this might take awhile. Weren't you going to be flying out to an interview in a few days?"

"More than a few days, it's almost a week away. We'll have to figure out something. With any luck this will be over by then. I miss having all of the toys that I used to have at my disposal. I guess I hadn't realized how much I've come to rely on all of those cool gadgets to do my job. My guess is that if nothing happens in the next day or two that Mac will go to a payphone and call the cell I called him from the other day so we can work on Plan B."

"What is Plan A?"

"The guy goes to your house looking for you and Mac kills him. There won't be any legal problems, with the hit Mac had on his passport and the documentation for why the hit was there, and then the guy going to the house... Mac won't have any trouble proving self defense. It will be considered an international thing and the agency will keep the DA from even thinking about doing anything with it."

"How many people have you killed?"

Tyler grimaced. "Let's not go there, okay?"

"Sorry."

"No, don't be sorry. I don't want you to be sorry for asking me questions. I'm going to have a bit of a learning curve, working on opening up and actually letting someone inside. But, there are some questions that I'm not sure I can ever answer, and that's one of them. Don't be sorry for asking though."

"Have you ever had a long term relationship?"

"Two. One in high school and one in college. I haven't allowed myself the luxury of one since. Not with the job I had at the time. But now that I'm out, and alive, I think it's about time I gave myself permission."

"You're thirty-two years old Tyler; there hasn't been anyone since you graduated college?"

"Oh, I had a few ladies that I could call up while I was in town. Probably a dozen or so in cities around the world. And I treated them as if they were special, but they weren't a relationship. None of them knew my real name."

"Just Master James?"

He figured she wouldn't like the answer, but he wanted to be honest with her. "Yeah."

"If you could have found me when you came back looking for me, would I have turned into one of them? Just another submissive in another city?"

"No. If I had found you I was going to tell you that it would be a couple of years before I could offer any hope of a relationship to you. I would have asked to see you when I could make it into town until I could release myself from the work obligations I found myself under."

"Maybe it's just as well you didn't find me. I'd have assumed you were married and trying to get me to be your out-of-town mistress."

"I think I hear your dad waking up, the smell of the food must have done it."

She lowered her voice. "Something tells me you are a better liar than me, why don't you tell him about us meeting in New Hampshire, I'm not sure I can pull it off. I'll go see if he needs any help."

"Let him do it without help. I know you want to care for him, but he's got a huge male ego and it's hard for him to let you help him. He'll be okay.

* * * *

Viv knew Tyler was right; it was time to start giving her dad more space. It took him ten minutes to get up and go to the bathroom and make it into the kitchen. But she sat and talked to Tyler and didn't go to him. She got up and started putting out dishes and silverware and pouring drinks. By the time her dad made it in, Tyler had dinner ready and they all sat down to eat.

Viv took a bite of the vegetables. "Oh, my god, you were right. These vegetables are incredible."

Her dad wasn't buying it. "Nice try Viv, trying to get me to eat vegetables."

"You kind of have to, dad. Tyler cooked them and it would be rude to refuse to even try them. Besides, they really are incredible, at least try a bite."

Mr. MacNeill scooped a very small amount onto his plate and took a bite and then looked wide eyed at Tyler. "Where were you when my wife was trying to stuff vegetables down my throat? These are really
good
. Who would have known you could make squash taste like this?"

Tyler smiled. "I'm glad you like them, Mr. MacNeill. Eat up."

"Umm, dad, you like Tyler, right?"

"Of course I do, Viv. He's been a good friend to your brother. And he's been around more than you have since you've grown up. I understand you were busy, but there were a few Christmases that Tyler made it when you didn't."

"I'm sorry dad, but I was lucky to get invited in on some of the research projects I've been able to take part in. I really couldn't turn them down. Plus, they were great opportunities.

"I know Viv, and I'm sorry. There's no room here for a guilt trip. I want you to fully live your life. Speaking of which, have you figured out what you're going to do next? You told me you thought you were through with academia now."

"Yeah, if I could get on with a zoo or an aquarium somewhere as part of their conservation program, I think that would be perfect. And, as odd as it seems, a smaller one that has a good budget might be better than one of the big famous ones. I could probably be in charge at a smaller aquarium or zoo, which means I'd get to set the agenda. I've got some feelers out, trying to see if there is anything out there that might be a good fit for me. I've gained enough of a reputation that if there are places with openings, many of them would hire me just for my reputation at this point."

Tyler spoke up. "Speaking of your traveling daughter, it seems that Viv and I managed to meet each other, even though we've missed seeing each other here at the house for the past fourteen years
that I've been coming around."

"Oh?"

"Yes, three years ago, in New Hampshire. We had a very quick fling and then lost track of each other. I had no idea she was Mac's sister, of course. And now that we seem to have found each other again, we've been trying to figure out the best way to handle it. I don't think that Mac's going to appreciate it much, but Viv and I have kind of decided to maybe try to pick up where we left off and see how things go."

"I don't know son. Mac thinks a lot of you, he might be happy to know that his sister will have someone who can take such good care of her. And, seems to me, since you're both job hunting, you might see if you can find jobs in the same city."

Viv couldn't believe her ears. Was her dad actually giving his blessing to this? He'd never liked anyone she'd ever dated. Ever.

"Gee dad, maybe we should get you to talk to David for us."

"Speaking of David, have we heard from him to find out how things are going?"

"No Sir, I'll check the box again at nightfall, I will expect to have heard something from him by then. In the meanwhile, I'm going to take a nap when we get through eating since I'll be staying up all night tonight. While I'm down for my nap Viv, I'll need for you to step across the hall to my room and wake me if anything, anything at all, seems out of the ordinary. I'll give you a button to keep in your pocket. If it vibrates that means that a door or window somewhere in the house has moved. I have one too, and it will wake me up and I'll get to the two of you as quickly as possible." He looked back at Mr. MacNeill. "I will want the two of you to camp out in your room, Sir, while I sleep. There are chairs in there as well as the bed, you can watch TV or play games or something, but only leave to go to the bathroom. That's why you have the master suite, so you can go to the bathroom without really leaving the room. Also, to both of you, don't close the door all the way when you are in the bathroom, leave it cracked a half inch or so, please. I'm going to turn a TV on in several rooms of the house so it won't be obvious which room is occupied. Please move around as little as possible."