Salt Water Wounds (Oyster Cove #1) (13 page)

“And her moped?” Dane asks.

“It was like that when we got back to shore.”

“Jealous boyfriend?”

“Psycho ex-husband,” I correct.

“Damn.” He shakes his head and lets out an air-filled amused laugh. “So the moped is you trying to make amends?”

I open my hands as I speak. “I’m trying to do the right thing.”

“Which is what? You think fixing her bike will make everything right with the world? You’re really out of practice when it comes to women. It’s going to take a lot more than a new headlight to make her forgive you. First you’ll need to apologize, and actually mean it too. Then you’ll need to give her space and hope to hell she misses you enough to give it another go.”

“How much time are we talking?”

He shrugs. “Shit, I don’t know. Women are crazy. It could be days, weeks, maybe months or years. She probably feels terrible about what happened, like she wasn’t good enough.”

“It wasn’t like that. I enjoyed myself, but a part of me felt like your mother watched the whole ordeal. The idea of breaking her heart tears me up. I can’t shake it, and I know it’s probably not normal, but I don’t want to disappoint her.”

“Mom’s gone. She’s never coming back. I know it hurts. It’s agonizing, but we all have to keep living. She’s not sitting up in the sky judging you for what you’re doing. If everyone believed that we’d all be saints. You have to live.”

“What about you kids? How would it make you feel if someone else was in my life?”

“You know how I feel about it. Our opinions shouldn’t matter. We’re all adults. We can make our own choices. Think of it this way, Dad. If you could have a do-over with Mom how would you go about it? How would you do things differently?”

“I’d spend more time with her. I’d listen when she wanted to talk. We’d be closer friends.”

“If you had a second chance you’d be a better man. That’s what you’re saying. Now, imagine what it would be like if you had the opportunity to be happy with someone else, someone like Perry. She’s here, alive and in Chincoteague, and for some reason she’s interested in your old ass. Show Mom you can be that man. Show her that you learned from your mistakes. She won’t be jealous. She’ll be proud, because her death has taught you how to appreciate what you never worried about before.”

I’m impressed. This is my son, always making me proud. He’s so much like his mother it’s eerie. He gets life. He understands people and how the world spins. He doesn’t get that from me. It’s all Layla. “So you’re saying I should embrace all the things I wished I’d changed with your mother in a new relationship?”

“You’re going to feel guilty. That’s normal. You need to learn how to keep it to yourself. Perry doesn’t need to experience your breakdowns. She probably thinks she’s not good enough.”

“What if I can’t love her the way she deserves?”

“That’s something you’ll have to figure out. My only answer to that is who the hell says how many people we’re allowed to love at once? I’m sure they have different qualities.”

“They do.”

“Focus on that, that’s if she gives you another chance. You screwed up big time. This might be a wasted conversation.”

“Thanks for the pep talk. Now I feel worse.”

“Just talk to her. If you’re both stubborn than it won’t work out.”

I think about Dane’s advice as we enjoy our food and then head back to the moped shop. We give Van his lunch and he only charges me for the parts instead of labor. Small town living has its perks. He caters to tourists to make his money, not the locals he’s known his whole life.

Since I don’t have the keys to the moped, Dane drives me over to Perry’s residence. Her car is parked in the driveway, so I can only assume she’s there. Dane helps me carry the bike to the front sidewalk before leaving me. I’ve assured him I’d walk back if she doesn’t let me inside.

I knock four times, and just about turn around to leave when she finally answers the door. I can already tell from the look in her eyes I’m going to have a lot of work to do.

Chapter 14

I don’t know who I expected to show up on my doorstep next.
An early visit from my father has me frustrated and feeling betrayed. Now I have him on my back along with all my other issues currently going on in my life.

Now he’s standing on the opposite side of the screen door assuming I’m going to let him inside. I roll my eyes and begin to shut the storm door on his face. “Go home, Buck.”

He bangs on the door again and again, until I’m ready to hurt him if he doesn’t stop. I open it again. “What the hell do you want?”

Buck moves out of the way so I’m able to see why he’s here. “Thought I’d bring it here for you. I had Van check everything mechanical to make sure nothing was tampered with. The seat is different from the one you had. He said if you don’t like it he can order you the old one. There’s a hidden compartment underneath of it in case you want to take it to the beach and keep your money and keys with the moped.”

“You didn’t have to fix my bike,” I say while coming outside to check at the changes. I’m in shock. It’s not every day a man does something kind for me, though I know he probably feels like an ass for the way last night went. “I appreciate it. I take this bike everywhere. I was trying to figure out how I’d pay for the damages.”

“I know. I figured it was the least I could do after things went downhill this morning.”

I hate being forced to remember. “I get it, Buck. Really I do.”

“No. You might think so, but you don’t.”

“I thought I could do this, but honestly I feel like I deserve more, Buck. I won’t be someone’s consolation prize. It’s not fair to my heart. You’re not ready to move on. I’m not angry with you about it. I’m mad at myself for getting my hopes up.”

He reaches for me, but my reaction is to move backward to keep him from touching me, because I know if it happens I’ll want to throw myself against his chest and welcome those strong arms to hold me tight. “Don’t. Please. I’ve spent the better part of the morning telling myself I can get past this. We’re going to have to see each other around, so it’s important for me to be able to handle it. I need to be able to look at you and not wish we could be something more.”

I can tell this gets to him. Buck is genuine, and if the circumstances were different and I knew he could change I’d go for it, but last night hurt me. I’d held out and waited for him entirely too long to have him regret it.

“What about last night?” He asks.

“Last night was two adults blowing off some steam. Let’s leave it at that, so eventually we can figure out how to be friends.”

“If that’s what you want.”

I conjure a smile, not that it’s anywhere near being genuine. “It is. How much do I owe you for the repairs.”

He waves his hands. “Nothing. It’s on me.” Buck turns and begins walking away from the property. A part of me wants to run after him, but I know I’m too confused to allow him entrance. My heart wants to forgive the man, but my mind tells me I’ll never have what I need from him.

Since I have my moped back, I figure the beach would be a good place to relax. I pack a book bag full of materials, a towel, a book, lotion and a couple waters, then start on my way. I’m nearing the north side of the island when I see a familiar figure walking down Maddox, the main road to Assateague and Buck’s neighborhood.

Against my better judgment, since it’s hot and humid, and I’m not a total jerk, I pull over to the side and wait for him to catch up. “Need a lift?”

“You want to give me a ride? On that thing?”

“I figured you could drive.”

“I thought we weren’t on speaking terms.”

“I’m headed to the beach. Your house is on the way.”

He seems to be thinking about it. Then looks right at me for a second. My body starts to respond. I look at his hands and remember what it felt like to have them on my body, his mouth reminds me where it’s been. Then I’m lost and utterly high on the idea of being close to him again. “Or you could come with me.”

“You said you needed time away from me.”

“You’re right.” I’m sad he remembered, or maybe that I said it at all.

“I think it’s best if I head home. I’ll walk the rest of the way. It’s healthy.”

“You sure?” The idea of wrapping my arms around him while he drives turns me on. I’m stupid for wanting him again, though unable to stop myself.

“Yeah. Have a nice time. Enjoy your day. I’ll see around, Perry.”

I’m sad as I start my moped and head the rest of the way to the beach. Its still spring so it’s pretty vacant as I make my way through Assateague Park. I stop for a second to pet some wild ponies on the side of the road, and wonder if they’re the same herd I saw on the water’s edge the night before.

When they lose interest in me, I finish my short ride to the beach parking lot. I pull right up to the sand and find a spot away from other people. The breeze is pretty constant, and as I spread my towel and sit down on it I can smell the familiar ocean air. My eyes close for a second as I take in the sounds of the waves as they crash against the shore, and the seagulls flying all around scoping the sand for leftover remnants of food they can scavenge.

I put some tanning lotion on my legs and arms and conform the sand underneath my towel so it’s like a pillow, then rest my head back in hopes of taking a nice nap.

I’m not sure how long I’ve been out. The night before has left me exhausted, and being emotional never helps. The beach isn’t crowded, so the fact that someone is close enough for me to hear them getting situated in the sand bothers me. I sit up, shield my eyes from the bright sun, and search for whoever is invading my personal space.

He’s wearing a pair of swimming trunks and a T-shirt with the arms cut off. He smells fantastic as the breeze blows in my direction. “Hey, sweetness. Sorry it took me a while. I couldn’t find my trunks.”

“Buck? What the hell? You drove here?”

“Yeah. I figured you’d park somewhere near your spot on the beach.” He’s spreading a blanket down in the sand a few feet away from me. Behind him sits a cooler large enough to hold meals for a few days. I can only assume it’s full of beer. He’s also managed to bring a bag with a small radio. He takes it out and then pulls his shirt over his head, shoving it in the bag to keep it from getting sand all over it. “I thought about what you said, us being friends and all, and after I upset you this morning I couldn’t sit around and do nothing about it.” He pulls two beers from the cooler. “Truce?”

I grab the cold beverage and clank it against his. “Fine. Friends.”

Buck stares out at the water, while I roll over on my stomach in hopes of getting the same amount of sun on the reverse side. The music plays a familiar country tune, while Buck sings the lyrics quietly to himself.

“Just say my name, stay right there, I’ll come runnin’ for you.”

I keep quiet while listening, enjoying him being this relaxed. He’s not singing to me, but I pretend he is. My eyes stay closed and face in the opposite direction so he isn’t able to see my reaction.

Another song comes on. He hums half and then sings the chorus in a low tone.

“Want me to put lotion on your back?” His question almost shocks me.

“If you want.” I hand him to lotion in hopes that when his hands touch me I’ll be able to control how it makes me feel.

My arms are up with my face rested against them. I can feel the lotion being poured at the small of my back then he’s drawing it around, making circles with his strong, overworked hands. Buck isn’t just rubbing it around, he’s massaging my shoulders, my neck and then finally my earlobes. My nipples, smashed into the towel, begin to tingle. As he slips back down and focuses on my hips and lower back I’m half tempted to moan, but keep the bouts of pleasure to myself. I wouldn’t want him getting the wrong idea when he’s only trying to keep the peace between us. I also don’t want to appear desperate.

Then he starts on my thighs, and as he reaches where friendship could be misconstrued as something more, I cave.

“That feels nice.”

“I thought maybe I put you to sleep.”

“Pretty sure that’s not possible at the moment.” I turn over, causing him to sit up straight to give me room. “I want to be angry with you, Buck.”

He runs his soppy hands up my calf. “So be angry.”

It’s hard to speak when he’s touching me like this. “You’re distracting me.”

“It’s intentional.”

“You’re a jerk.”

“Don’t I know it? I’m sorry about last night, sweetness. It was a momentary lapse that caught me off guard. If I had a do-over we’d still be out on that boat.”

“That boat. You mean the Layla?”

“That’s not fair.”

I roll my eyes and stand up, because if I don’t get away from him I’m going to ask him to have his way with me right in front of anyone who could walk by. “Life isn’t fair, Buck. You of all people should know that.”

I leave him on his knees as I make my way down to the water’s edge. The frigid water hits the tips of my toes and then goes back  in until another wave takes its place. Just as the chill strikes my outer limbs, I feel something warm wrapping around my waist, his lips coming up to my ear. “You’re right. It’s not fair. Maybe this is crazy. Maybe I’m not ready, hell maybe I’ll never be, but right now I can’t get you out of my head. The idea of you hating me makes me hate myself. I enjoy spending time with you.”

I close my eyes and let my arms fall over his. For a few minutes we stand together, my back to his so he can’t see my worry. Then I give in. I turn around and place my arms around his neck, our eyes finally meeting. “I’m not sleeping with you again, not until I know it won’t end the same way it did before.”

He grins. “That’s fair, but just so you know, it was the best damn two minutes I’ve had in almost eight years.”

I laugh and fall into his chest. He’s trying to get under my skin and it’s working. Damn if this man doesn’t get to me like no other is able.

He kisses me. Doesn’t ask permission. Doesn’t wait for a response to his humorous joke. He just leans forward and places those delectable lips against mine. When I reciprocate things heat up pretty quickly. Before I know it, he’s picking me up and carrying me in the water. We’ve had a warm spring, but the ocean isn’t like the bay. It’s take months to get to a comfortable temperature.

The water hit’s my ass first, I cling to his body, desperate to stay dry and not freeze to death, but Buck has other plans in mind. He crouches down while holding me, forcing me to endure the chill with him. I scream as it happens, burrowing my body into his as much as possible.

He’s laughing and holding me down, my feet begin kicking as I fight to free my body. Then a wave comes and crashes into us, it takes me under, spinning me away from Buck. When I come up he’s close to shore waving at me. I give him the middle finger and go under to fix my hair and remove the sand I know has accumulated in my bikini bottoms.

When I come up for air he’s already on his way back to torture me more, so I make him chase me. By this time I’m used to the frigid water temperature and content staying in the ocean for a while. He makes it to me in no time, pulling me close and kissing me again. As he pulls away his eyes take a while to open. “I need your help, Perry.”

“With what?” I ask.

“I need you to show me how to do this again. I need you to tell me when I’m screwing up, and give me hell if I hurt your feelings.”

“You’re asking me for another chance?”

“I am.”

“What if that’s not what I want?”

His lips brush over mine, his tongue teasing me, while his hands mess with the strap to my top. He’s undone it. Buck takes the bikini and shoves it down inside of his trunks. He’s laughing, while I wrestle with him. “You scoundrel. Give that back.”

“Not until you do a flip.”

There’s no one else near us. The only other people in the water are barely visible. I giggle and back away from him, bending my back and letting my body take me under the water. When I come up he’s catching me.

My arms are covered in goose bumps, but inside I'm on fire. I run my knee up Buck's groin, not surprised when I realize he's hard in the cold water. "That's impressive."

"Yeah? Maybe you could do something about it."