Sara's Soul (9 page)

“Yes, and I’m truly grateful for that.”

“Are you sure your mom gave Dave the letter?”

“No,” he replied. “I found it in her things, not his, so I don’t know if she ever gave it to him.”

“So, it may be a family secret.”

“Yes.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet,” he admitted. “I don’t think I should say anything to my da—to Dave right now because I don’t know what he knows. Maybe I will get a blood test to see if my DNA matches his.”

“In the meantime, please know I’m here for you,” she said. She softly placed her hand his shoulder. “I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

“Thanks, Sara,” he said. Chip kissed her gently on the forehead.

“No problem.”

“And I’m sorry for being distant this morning,” he said. “It was really bothering me. The whole thing is just a lot to digest.”

“Yes, it is. Don’t worry about it. I understand.”

“I really need to get going now,” Chip said. “I will see you soon.”

He gave her a quick kiss and then headed out the door. Sara breathed a big sigh of relief. She had thought she lost him, and life without Chip would be sad and empty.

CHAPTER 9

help from beyond

After a busy day at the university seeing clients and working on his thesis, Chip finally returned home. A dark sky filled with stars hovered above him, and he paused for a moment outside his house to appreciate the splendor. Then he headed inside and got ready for bed.

Before long, he settled into his queen-size waterbed and reflected on how his life had changed. He had been shocked to find his mother’s letter and learn of his questionable paternity. He wasn’t sure how this would all pan out, but he knew that the letter changed things. It changed lives.

Change seemed to be his thing lately. He had never expected to meet the woman of his dreams at Starbucks and fall in love. He was just stopping in for a quick cappuccino before heading back to campus. But fate had intervened, putting him in the right place at the right time. He remembered how he had caught a glance of Sara as she was leaving the counter with her drink. He was immediately mesmerized by her. And then, as luck would have it, two men appeared and began harassing her. It was a perfect opportunity to swoop in to save her. Of course, after that, he had a good excuse to talk to her. Once Chip introduced himself, the magnetic attraction between them was undeniable. He felt like he was reunited with a lost love, even though they had never met. And now, they had become a couple. They had made love. The two of them joining together was so natural, so effortless. The only thing bothering him was her secrecy and demeanor, especially after the episode the night before. He would be certain to check on her first thing in the morning to make sure everything was all right.

As Chip drifted off to sleep, his initial images were of Sara’s beautiful face. He could almost still feel her flesh against his and the unexpected love that took over his soul. Sara had enriched his life in a way no other woman ever could. She was amazing.

“She’s a wonderful woman, Chip,” a voice interrupted.

Chip peered into the darkness, struggling to see the shadowy figure that slowly approached him. He could almost make out the small white ginger jar lamp that sat on his black lacquer dresser across from the bed. There was very little light coming in through his bedroom window, which didn’t help matters. It was overcast outside, and the stars and moon were hidden behind a thick layer of clouds. The weatherman had predicted storms for tonight, and judging by the increasing winds outside his house, they were likely almost there. He squinted and continued to fix his gaze on the approaching figure. Within seconds, his focus improved and a glowing white mist appeared. Within it was Connor, his trusted friend and longtime guardian angel, standing before him.

“Hey, Connor.” Chip greeted him excitedly. The two enjoyed a firm hug and patted each other on the back.

“It’s good to see you, buddy.” Connor smiled.

“Yeah. It’s been a while. Where the hell have you been? Oops… Sorry… I mean… where in Heaven’s name have you been?”

“Here and there,” Connor replied with a shrug. “Helping souls, saving lives, teaching people, enlightening others. You know, the usual.”

“Yeah, you lead a rather interesting life,” Chip said. “How’s Mom, by the way? She visited me the other day.”

“She’s fine, Chip. She sends her love.”

“Speaking of love, there’s something I need to know,” Chip said cautiously. “Something that’s been bugging me.”

“I was expecting this conversation,” Connor said knowingly. Chip could never hide anything from him. As a spirit, Connor had not only acquired a greater knowledge of all things, but could also read like minds and communicate telepathically. He clearly already knew what this was about.

“Did you and Mom have an affair while she was married to my dad?”

Connor sat down on the bed next to Chip. “Such a big and important question,” Connor said, placing a hand on Chip’s shoulder. “Well, the short answer is… yes. But before you say anything more or get angry with me, I need to explain a few things.”

“Okay,” said Chip patiently. “I’m listening.”

“First of all, I had no idea that your mom was married,” Connor continued. “I would never interfere with someone’s relationship or try to break up a marriage. That’s not my style.”

“I didn’t think so,” Chip agreed. “So tell me what happened.”

“Well, I came home for a visit, and we met at the park after dark to just talk. The plan was to catch up on things. Celeste and I hadn’t talked for a long time, and we both agreed that we wanted to remain friends. When we saw each other that evening, neither one of us could deny that we were still very much in love. It was so difficult to fight the feelings we had for each other. And to make things even more tempting, the park was empty. No one was there, so we were completely alone. Before I knew it we were… you know.”

Chip blushed. It was weird talking to Connor about his mother’s sex life.

Connor continued: “I never meant to hurt your mom or interfere with her marriage. After that happened, I couldn’t bear the thought of being separated from her again. I even suggested she move to Rome with me, but she refused, saying she had a life here. I was confused, because I was certain she wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her. When I insisted she come with me, she told me she had gotten married. I was both shocked and crushed. I would have never allowed things to go so far had I known, and I was surprised Celeste hadn’t mentioned her marriage or tried to stop me. I apologized and told her I would stay out of her life. And then I went back to Rome with a broken heart.”

“Did she tell you she was pregnant with me at the time? That she and my dad were expecting a baby?”

“No, Chip. She didn’t mention a pregnancy. You hadn’t been conceived yet.”

“I suspected that,” Chip said, nodding knowingly. “This is all making so much more sense.”

Here it comes
, Connor thought.

“So tell me, Connor. Are you my father? Did you get my mom pregnant that night? I really need to know the truth.”

“Well that’s a complicated question,” Connor said, looking away.

“What’s so complicated about it? Either you are or you aren’t. Tell me, Connor, are you my dad?” said Chip, getting angry.

“After that night, I longed to be with Celeste again. I thought about her all the time. But I just couldn’t break up her marriage. So I didn’t contact her for a long time. She left a few messages for me. She seemed desperate to talk to me, but I never returned her calls. There is no way I wanted to get involved with a married woman. I found out a couple of years later that she had a son and assumed she and your dad were happily married. It never occurred to me that I might be your father.”

“You mean Mom never told you?” Chip said, his face turning red.

“Don’t be too hard on your mom,” Connor said calmly. “She never told me because she didn’t know.”

“What? How could she not know?”

“She and your dad had been trying for a baby, so when she got pregnant, she assumed it was Dave’s baby. About four years later, she felt horribly guilty about what had happened between the two of us, so she wrote a letter to your dad about the affair. Before Celeste gave him the letter, an odd feeling came over her. Something told her to get a paternity test just in case I was really your father. She did it in secret. She cut off a piece of Dave’s hair while he was sleeping and then had doctors compare it to your blood. That’s when she discovered that Dave’s DNA did not match yours. Only then did she know that you were actually my son.”

“So when did she tell you?”

“She didn’t. She couldn’t. As I mentioned, I didn’t return her calls.”

“But she was the love of your life. Why didn’t you call her back?” Chip asked.

“Celeste never mentioned the reason for her calls. And I was determined to stay out of her life. I wasn’t about to break up a happy family. Like I said, that’s not my style.
”

“Okay. That’s fair. But weren’t you curious about why she called?”

“Of course I was,” Connor said. “But I also didn’t trust myself. Any contact with her would have been too tempting. I was afraid if I heard her voice, I would race home to be with her. I didn’t want us to end up making love again.”

“That must have been very hard for you,” Chip said sadly. “To love someone that much and not be with her.”

“It was very hard,” Connor agreed. “Some days I don’t know how I made it through. Then about a year or so later, my friend told me that Celeste and Dave had separated. There is no way to describe the feeling I got inside when I heard the news. It’s like my heart was pulling me to her. I knew I had to talk to her to see if there was any chance we could be together again. It was time to fight for her. I decided to move back home. I finally called Celeste and left a message on her cell phone that I was coming back and wanted to see her. But I died in a plane crash before we had a chance to talk.”

“Do you think she was going to tell you that you’re my father?”

“I know she was. After I died, I became privy to all sorts of information about my life and the lives of those I was close to. I reviewed my entire life and not only saw but experienced the emotions of everyone in it. I knew how my decisions affected others, and how things would have panned out had I made different choices. The afterlife is like that. When you cross over, you’re suddenly enlightened. God gives you knowledge about your existence and it all makes sense. It was then I learned the truth.”

“Were you angry with her?”

“No,” Connor replied. “There is no anger in the afterlife. I understood why she made the choices she did. I felt only love, peace, and acceptance.”

“So why didn’t you tell me about this? Why didn’t Mom tell me? You’ve visited me since I was a child, and Mom has stopped by to check on me, too. Why did you keep this a secret? Didn’t you think I deserved to know the truth?”

“Of course I did!” Connor exclaimed. “But there are rules in the afterlife. The elders wouldn’t allow Celeste and me to tell you until the time was right.”

“So finding a letter was how they thought I should find out?”

“Apparently,” Connor said. “Their methods and decisions don’t always make sense, but everything they do is for the greater good. They always wait until they feel a soul is ready before revealing important information. You were ready to hear it.”

“So that’s why you became my guardian angel and spent so much time with me?” Chip said. “You wanted to be a father to me?”

“Yes.” Connor nodded. “I may not have been able to raise you or be a part of your life on Earth. But I have enjoyed spending time with you like this and sharing many father-son moments in your dreams.”

“Like the time you taught me to fish?” Chip asked, remembering the vivid details of his afterlife encounter in Connor’s realm. “You actually took me to Heaven on an airplane and showed me where you lived. It was so breathtaking. I’ll never forget it.”

“Yes. Those were special times for me as well,” Connor said smiling. “Please know if I had any idea that you were my son while I was still living on Earth, I would have gladly hopped on the next plane and left my life in Rome behind to be with you and Celeste.”

“I know that,” Chip said.

“I also hope you’ve learned that genes are not what makes you a family,” Connor said. “Family is about the love you feel for someone and the bonds that connect you. Dave is your dad, too.”

“Yes, he is. I love him so much. It doesn’t matter that we aren’t related by blood. He’s been a great father.” Chip paused before continuing.

“So did my mom and dad separate because of the affair? Did Mom tell Dad you were my biological father?”

“No. They separated because of their differences and also because Celeste was still in love with me. It wouldn’t have mattered if we had slept together or not. Her love for me was too strong to ever let go. She never gave Dave the letter, and she never told him about your paternity.”

“Wow, this is a lot to digest,” Chip said. “So that must be why you’re here. You knew I found the letter and wanted to clear things up, right?”

“Actually, no,” Connor answered. “I’m here to help you with something else, something very important.”

“Okay. Please fill me in.”

“It’s not that simple. I can’t tell you what it is.”

“That’s ridiculous. How can you help me if you can’t tell me what you’re helping me with?”

“The elders won’t allow it,” Connor explained. “So I must give you clues and subtle messages so that you can figure it out yourself. I brought something for you that I think will point you in the right direction.”

Connor handed Chip a yellow ribbon. “A yellow ribbon? What the heck does that mean?” asked Chip, looking perplexed.

“You’re a smart guy,” Connor replied. “You’ll figure it out.”

Lightning flashed outside Chip’s window, and a loud crash of thunder rumbled through the house. The storm had arrived. Hail made a clinking sound on the roof, and the wind howled menacingly. Connor patted Chip on the head and then faded from view.

Chip was left feeling like a child again, already missing Connor’s presence and longing for his return. Tears filled his eyes as he thought about the time they had lost on Earth, precious moments between a father and son that could never be replaced. But now, as Connor had indicated, he had much more important matters to address.