Sasha's Dilemma (11 page)

I slowly pull away and look into
his eyes. I place his hands on my chest over my heart. “This is
why I’m here, Josh. Can you feel how crazy you make me? I know
I freaked out, and I’m sorry I scared you. Yes, I will move in
with you, but I still need to talk to my sister. I can’t just
pack up and leave her.” I say, hoping he will understand.

“Beautiful, you just made me
the happiest man ever. I will give you a chance to talk to your
sister, but I can’t wait to wake up to you every morning and to
watch you fall asleep every night. I love you, Sash. I think I have
since I first saw you at the bar.” With that, he picks me up,
carries me to the bed and slowly starts undressing me, leaving
feathery kisses everywhere he exposes.

“So beautiful,” he
whispers after every kiss. And he does me make me feel beautiful.

He always acts as if I’m the
only girl in the world and he wants to devour me. I am truly lucky to
have this gorgeous guy in bed with me, telling me he loves me. He is
every woman’s dream; he’s successful, a great kisser, a
smooth talker, and has a banging body to match. Oh, and that V on his
body sets me off the edge every time he takes his shirt off.

Plus, he can make me have multiple
orgasms in one night. No other man I’ve ever been with has been
able to do that. They all seem to want to please themselves. Once
they’re done, usually they don’t worry if I got off or
not. But Josh always makes sure I’m first to come and the last
to come as well. He knows my body so well. Sometimes I think he can
hear my thoughts when he is touching me.

I feel someone staring at me and I
open my eyes to find Josh lying next to me smirking.

“Have you been watching me
sleep?” I ask him, rolling on top of him for cuddles.

“Yes, I love to watch you
sleep.”

I feel him between my thighs. I
look down and then back up at him with a knowing look. I start to rub
myself on him and trail soft kisses up his neck and on his chest. I
see the tattoo and pause. I actually forgot about it yesterday when I
came here to talk to him. He realises my hesitation and looks down at
the tattoo, and then back at me.

“I wanted you to know I’ve
never taken relationships seriously until I was with you. You stole
my heart that night and have never given it back to me. And I never
want it back. If this is what love feels like, I want to shout it
from the rooftops because you, beautiful, make me feel so lucky and
so alive. I am madly in love with you,” he says, kissing me. I
melt into the kiss and just feel lucky as well. He really does love
me for just me and nothing else.

I get to work just in the nick of
time, no thanks to Josh who wanted me to stay in bed to celebrate
with him all day. But I can’t miss my shifts at the hospital,
no matter how much I would rather stay in bed and let him ravish me.
As tempting as that is, I need to work.

I see Rose and she calls me over.
“Hey, Sasha, what’s been happening? How’s life
treating you and that man of yours? I feel like we haven’t
caught up all week.”

I fill her in on how I agreed to
move in and about the tattoo. Rose doesn’t respond, and her
eyes are glued to something behind me. I turn around and realise
Dylan just heard my story. I blush and look up at him to see him
scowling.

“Hey, Dylan,” I say
very softly and he finally looks me in the eyes.

“Hi, Sasha. Can we talk in
private?”

I look back at Rose and she looks
at me sympathetically. I turn back to Dylan and nod my head. He walks
off and I follow him. We walk into a supply area and he shuts the
door and turns around to me.

“Are you sure this is what
you want, Sasha? Do you want him, I mean?”

I know he is hurting, but he has
to know that even though I have feelings for him, I can’t go
there with Josh in the picture.

“Yes,” I say in a
small voice, but he doesn’t look convinced.

“I don’t know Josh
that well, but what I have heard of him, he is quite the ladies’
man. The last thing I want to do is see you get hurt. Even though it
didn’t work out for us, I still care for you.”

I look up to him and say what I
have been telling myself, “Thanks, Dylan, but you don’t
have to worry. Josh treats me well and he would never hurt me,”
I say with the hope that it’s true.

“Okay, Sasha, but when he
does, come find me.” With that, he walks out the door, leaving
me with my mouth hanging open. I’m wondering what he meant by
“when he does” like it’s going to happen.

I finish my shift at the hospital
and head back to my apartment to see Lola. I walk in and notice she
isn’t here, so I start to pack a small bag to take over to
Josh’s. I just pack the everyday stuff I will need until I work
out what is happening with Lola. I hear the front door shut and walk
in the kitchen to find Lola looking in the fridge. She see me and
turns around.

“Well, baby sister, haven’t
seen you at home in a while. You decided to grace me with your
presence?” she says with a bit of bitch in it.

“Yes, I wanted to talk to
you. How you been?”

“Spill it. Tell me what you
wanted to talk about?” she says, cutting through the small
talk.

“Well…” I begin
hesitantly. “I agreed to move in with Josh. But I told him I
needed to make sure you were gonna be fine here without me.” I
look up to see her shocked face.

“What? What? You’re
really moving in with him?”

“Yes, Lola, I am. What’s
wrong with that? I know you don’t like him, but if you gave him
a chance, you would see he really loves me and is good for me,”
I say defensively.

“Yeah right, the only thing
that man loves is pussy and more pussy. He will get sick of yours and
leave you all broken for me to fix.”

I can’t believe she just
said that. She doesn’t even know him.

“Seriously, what is your
bloody problem?” I scream at her.

“Can’t you see it,
Sash? He is a male whore, who jumps from one bed to another. I don’t
want to see you get hurt because of him.”

I know she means well, but she
doesn’t understand.

“Well, at the moment, you’re
the only one hurting me. Not him. I don’t call you a whore when
you sleep around. No, I love you just the same. Josh would never hurt
me. He loves me. All you have to do is see us together to see that.”

“I can’t believe your
comparing me to him, Sasha. That’s a low blow, even from you.”

With that, she storms out, goes to
her bedroom, and slams the door shut. I don’t know what to do
about these two anymore. I really don’t know what the problem
is. Yes, Josh was a whore, but people can change.
Stuff
this!
I go to
her door and open it to find her on the bed texting away on her
phone. She looks at me and scowls.

“Lola, will you come over
for dinner tonight at Josh’s to see what I’m talking
about? Please give him a chance. I think I’m falling in love
with him, and if you don’t like him, that’s just going to
hurt me.”

She looks up from her phone and I
can tell she wants to tell me no, but she sees how much I want this
to work.

“Fine, I’ll come, but
I’m bringing Blake. I don’t want to be around you two all
by myself.”

“Thank you! Thank you!”
I jump on her, give her a big cuddle, and then run back to my room to
text Josh.

Me:

Sister and Blake are coming
over

for dinner tonight.

Josh:

OK… did the talk go well?

Me:

Still working on it!!!

Josh:

Okay, beautiful, see you
tonight.

What do you want me to cook?

I love that he offers to cook,
because I hate to cook and I’m not really the best at it. I
think that’s why he always does, plus he is an excellent cook.

Me:

You’re so sweet, but I
can just

grab Chinese on my way over.

Josh:

Don’t go calling me
sweet,

unless you’re talking
about the

taste of my man downstairs,

that could ruin my rep. lol

Me:

You’re a fool. I’ll
call my

boyfriend whatever

I damn well please.

P.S he tastes quite yummy too

P.P.S now, I’m wet.

Josh:

You’re killing me,
beautiful.

I’m trying to work here,
and now

I’m as hard as rock.
Arghhh!

Ha ha!
I love stirring him up. He can never get enough, and I really hope
that doesn’t change because what if Lola is right and he does
get sick of me and wants someone else? I try to push those thoughts
to the back of my head and focus on the now, not what everyone thinks
will happen.

I’ve got the Chinese and
Josh and I are waiting for Lola and Blake to get here. There’s
finally a knock at the door and I answer it. Blake picks me up and
gives me a peck on the cheek and walks into greet Josh. I look at
Lola and she looks like she doesn’t want to come in.

“Come on, Lola, you said
you would give this a chance.”

She looks at me for a moment
debating, but she finally comes in and gives me a hug. I drag her to
the dining area where the boys are chatting away. We take a seat and
start eating and listening to the boys talk sports. Lola hasn’t
said too much, but she watches how Josh kisses me on the cheek and
puts his arm protectively around the back of my chair.

I can see she’s finally
starting to understand. Once dinner is over, I tell them all to go
and take a seat in the lounge room while I get the drinks. Blake
offers to help while Lola and Josh head to the lounge room.

“Do you think they will be
all right in there?” I ask him, being serious.

“I hope so. Your sister can
be mean if she wants to be, but I think she sees you’re happy.
Anyone can see Josh is crazy for you. He hasn’t shut up about
you since the first time he saw you at the bar,” Blake says,
smiling at me. I give him a big hug. I hope he and Lola will work out
their differences and finally get together.

We are finishing up the drinks
when we hear yelling. We both take off to the lounge room and see
Josh and Lola in a screaming match.

“You haven’t told
her?” Lola screams at him.

“Why would I do that when
neither of us remember what happened,” Josh says.

“What are you talking
about?” I interrupt. Both of their heads whip around to me at
the sound of my voice.

“It’s nothing,
beautiful,” Josh tries to say in a calming voice. I look over
to Lola and give her a pleading look.

“Josh and I slept together,”
she answers softly.

I’m dumbfounded. I don’t
know what to say. I just look at them both, waiting for them to tell
me it’s all a lie, but I can tell by looking at both of them
that it’s the truth. Everything is finally making sense. That’s
why she doesn’t want me with him. That’s why she was
always pushing me to stay away from him, and why she was cheering for
Dylan.

“Beautiful,
it was nothing. We were drunk, and aren’t quite sure what
happened, short of waking up together,” he says in a pleading
tone.

I look back over to Lola. “This
is why you didn’t want me with him, isn’t it?”

“Yes, I know how he is, and
I don’t want him to hurt you.”

“I would never hurt her,
Lola. So don’t go saying stuff like that.” He turns back
to me. “You know I would never hurt you on purpose.” He
tries to take my hand and I just snatch it back and take a step back.
He looks hurt by this, but that’s nothing compared to how
betrayed I feel. I just need to get out of here. I turn around
looking for
my bag,
find it, and start heading towards the door. Just as I’m about
to open it, Josh grabs me by the arm.

“Please don’t leave. I
can explain everything, but please don’t leave me.”

I can’t even stand the sight
of him. I pull my arm free and walk out the door. I have no idea
where I’m going to go. I don’t want to head back to the
apartment because Lola will be waiting, and all I want to do is smack
her across the face for not being honest with me. And Josh, God, what
a dick! He should have been honest instead of weaselling his way into
my heart.

God, I can’t believe I was
going to move in with him. Now I just want to get drunk and forget
about it all. Hopefully, that will take my mind off the two
backstabbing liars.

I call up Rose and ask her to
have drinks with me. I pull up to a bar near the hospital I work at,
and spot her as soon as I walk in. When I get closer, I
see she isn’t
alone. It looks like there are a few people here from work, and Dylan
is one of them.

I go to turn around and take off,
but Rose notices me and waves me over. Everyone looks up, but all I
can see is Dylan’s eyes scanning me from head to toe. It makes
me nervous because I wonder if he knows already. He’s friends
with Blake, though I don’t think he would have said anything to
anyone. I walk over and wave hi to everyone. Rose asks me to the bar
with her to grab a drink. I follow and she looks me up and down.

“So, tell me what’s
up?”

“Just a lot going on. I just
want to get white girl wasted tonight.”

She knows something’s up,
but she doesn’t push me.

“Well, when you decide to
talk, let me know,” she says with a hug.

Two hours later, I’m well on
my way to being very drunk. I have shot after shot, and someone is
always putting a drink in my hand when I’m empty. I’ve
filled Rose in with what’s going on, so I suppose that’s
her way of helping me drown my sorrows. I have a feeling that Dylan
overheard our conversation. He has been a gentleman all night,
grabbing me glasses of water and so forth. When Rose hands me another
beer, I chug it back. Now I’m a stumbling mess, but Dylan grabs
me before I make a fool of myself and fall head first.