Sasha's Dilemma (15 page)

“Sasha, its fine, don’t
even worry about it. I have a private plane. I can take you if you
like,” he offers kindly.

“No, it’s okay. I’m
just going to go straight to the airport and get on the next
available flight they have.”

“Are you sure? I don’t
mind taking you.”

“It’s fine. I think I
need to be alone right now. Can I call you later?”

“Of course you can. I’ll
drive you there.”

I arrive at the hospital a few
hours later. I was lucky enough to get on a flight straight away. I
walk in looking for Lola and find Adam hunched on the floor outside
her room. I drop to the floor with him, lean in, and cuddle.

“Adam, how is she?” I
whisper.

“Not good. They say her
brain has too much swelling and it doesn’t look good.”

I’m not sure what to say, so
I just sit with him giving the comfort he needs. We sit on the floor
for a good twenty minutes until Lola comes out of the room.

“Sasha, you made it.”

I give my sister a cuddle. “He
isn’t coping at all. I don’t know what to do,” she
whispers in my ear.

I pull away and decide it’s
time to go in and see Brit. When I walk into the room, I couldn’t
have prepared myself mentally for what I see and how I feel. I
completely understand dropping to the floor and going into my own
world like Adam has. I think that would be easier than having to deal
with this. Brit has tubes coming out of everywhere and her face is
badly bruised and swollen. I’m afraid to touch her. I pull a
chair over and sit close.

“I hope you can hear me,
Brit. Please don’t leave us. We would be lost without you,
especially Adam.

“I remember the day you
walked down the aisle. You were the prettiest woman I have ever seen.
I know you are meant to watch the bride, but I watched Adam. And let
me tell you, there is not a man out there who is capable of loving
the way he has loved you.”

I feel a hand rest on my shoulder
and turn around to see Lola with tears in her eyes. I get up and hug
her. We stand holding each other when suddenly there is a loud
beeping noise. We pull apart and look at Brit when we realise it’s
her machines. The doctors come in and push us out of the way to get
to her. We’re asked to leave the room. Adam is still sitting in
the same spot as we left him and he hasn’t moved an inch. All
we can do is stand around helplessly, waiting for the doctors to come
out and tell us something. When one finally does, it doesn’t
look good.

“Hi, I’m Brittany’s
doctor. Are you all family?”

We all nod our head in union.

“I’m sorry. We tried
everything we could, but the swelling was too severe. There was
nothing else we could have done. I’m so sorry for your loss.
You are welcome to go and say your final goodbyes.”

As soon as he walks away, we’re
all too shocked and hurt to say anything at all. We stand like we are
statues, not moving. I have no idea what to say or do, but I don’t
think my words would comfort anyone anyway.

We all take turns visiting Brit
one last time. Adam still hasn’t moved from the position he was
in when I got here. I try to tell him it’s best if he says
goodbye now; otherwise, he might regret it.

He looks at me like I’ve
lost my mind, but his next words to me make me think he might be the
one with the issue.

“I’m going to kill him
if I can get to him.”

He is pulling at his hair like a
madman and I have no idea what he’s talking about.

“Who Adam?”

“That scumbag Koby. He did
this! He’s going to rot in hell after I’ve had my way
with him,” Adam promises in a scary tone.

“Adam, I’m not sure
what happened but you have to think of Kasey. She needs you now more
than ever. The police will handle Koby. Don’t do anything you
will regret later on.”

Adam finally goes in to the room
and we leave him be, but Lola and I stand out in the hallway waiting
for him, unsure of what to do and how to comfort someone who has just
lost his wife, and the mother to his child.

It’s been two painful days
since Brit has left us, and today is her funeral. It’s going to
be a hard day. I’ve been helping out as much as I can with
looking after Kasey and helping with the funeral preparations, but it
isn’t easy seeing how hurt Adam is. He is so lost. He just
doesn’t do anything, but drink until he passes out. It’s
especially hard when Kasey is crying for her mom. How do I tell a two
year old that mummy isn’t coming home?

The funeral home is packed with so
many people here to show how much Brit was loved. Adam just walks
straight past all of them and goes inside. Lola and I try to greet
the people we know.

I’m surprised when a pair
of arms wrap around me. I turn around to find Brandon standing behind
me.

“You came!” I say,
cuddling up to him.

“Of course, Sasha. I can’t
believe you didn’t tell me when it first happened. I would have
come with you.”

“None of that matters.
You’re here now.”

“I’ll always be here
for you, cuz. You know that. The boys send their love and all wanted
to come, but Dad needs them, so we all thought it would be best if I
came.”

“I’m glad you did. I
need someone here for me. It’s been so hard, and all I want to
do is hide away in a corner.”

He leans in and wraps me in a big
bear hug. I feel like I might actually cry for the first time in a
very long time. Before the dam breaks, I step out of his hug and grab
his hand. I can feel a set of eyes on me. Then that beautiful smell
of leather and musk reaches me, bringing back so many memories, good
and bad. I turn around to see Blake and Josh staring at me. I can’t
stand looking at him. He holds too much emotion and I have enough of
that to deal with today to last me a lifetime. I tug Brandon’s
hand and follow Lola inside.

The service was beautiful and the
slide show had everyone in tears. Seeing that Brit’s life was
cut so short just after having her happy ending is the hardest part
to deal with. We all head back to Blake’s bar. He’s shut
it down for Brit for the wake. I haven’t really spoken to many
people since I’ve been back. I’ve been too busy and it’s
easier not dealing with people’s sympathy. Today, everyone has
been coming up saying how sorry they are and what a lovely girl she
was. And I’m about ready to tell them all politely to fuck off.
Brandon pulls me away in the nick of time.

“Let’s grab a drink
before you lose your temper, hey?”

“I knew I loved you for a
reason,” I say, grabbing his hand. That’s when I hear a
drink get spilt and is goes all over my feet.

“Hey, watch out.” I
turn and see Josh staring at me like I’ve lost my mind.

“Sasha, can we talk?”
he asks, looking from me to Brandon.

“Sorry, man, trust now is
not the time to be talking to Miss Firecracker here,” Brandon
adds, butting in and saving my ass as always.

“Sorry, didn’t know I
had to ask you for permission,” Josh spits out at him.

“Look, I’m not sure
what is going on here, but now is not the time,” Brandon says,
once again to my rescue, stopping me before I have a chance to go ape
shit on Josh for talking to Brandon that way.

“Josh, please, just leave it
be. I’m not in the mood for an argument.”

“Wait, this is the Josh?”
Brandon asks, finally piecing the puzzle together. I nod my head in
agreement. Brandon grabs my hand and we’re off again. We pass
by Adam and say our goodbyes. I tell him I’ll stop in soon to
see them before I leave, and then we’re out the door.

We’re almost to the car when
I hear my name being called. I turn around to find Josh strutting
over to us. “Oh no,” I mumble under my breath. Brandon
turns around and stands high like he won’t be taking Josh’s
shit. I want to laugh at him for being so good to me.

“Sasha, can we have a coffee
and talk, please?”

“No, she is busy and needs
to rest,” Brandon tells him.

“Who the fuck do you think
you? Are you her bodyguard or something?”

“Yeah, something like that,”
Brandon says with a menacing grin.

“It’s okay, Brandon.
I’ll go and have a coffee. I’ll call you later, okay?”
I’m not in the mood to have these two arguing today. I just
don’t think I can deal.

“You sure, Sash? We can
leave right now.”

“Yes, it’s fine. I
love you and I’ll call later, promise.” I lean up and
give him a kiss on the cheek. When I turn around to Josh, face is
contorted with anger. “You ready? I’m tired and don’t
have long.”

“Yeah,” he says and
storms off, leaving me to follow.

We end up driving around in
circles and not talking. I’m starting to wonder why he even
wanted me to come if he isn’t going to talk. After driving
around for another ten minutes, he finally breaks the silence.

“Is that your boyfriend?”
he asks through gritted teeth.

“Is that all you have to say? Is this why you
wanted to talk?”

“Yes and no.”

“No, he is not my
boyfriend,” I say because I don’t want to play games with
him.

“Are you engaged or something?”

“God, Josh, no, we are not.
He is my cousin from Sydney. Any other stupid questions?” I
turn to glare at him and I see his body relax. I realise
how tense he’s been since I first saw him this morning. I take
in his looks for the first time. His hair is buzz cut short. He is
wearing a suit, which looks ridiculously handsome on him. He is way
better looking than I remembered. He is absolutely scrumptious, but I
can see that he has lost weight and still looks a bit sick.

“Sorry, I wasn’t
sure.”

Josh is not the apologetic
type, so now I feel bad for yelling and ignoring him. I realise
he also lost a friend today, not just me.

We pull up to a really nice modern
two-storey home. It’s so gorgeous my mouth literally drops just
looking at it. It has a wraparound porch, a water feature, and a very
large yard.

“Wow, this is beautiful.
Whose home is this?” I ask in awe.

“It’s mine,” he
says, not looking at me at all and I can tell by his body language
that he wishes I hadn’t asked.

“Well, it’s very nice,
but why are we here?”

“I thought we could talk in
private, and this way, you can’t run away. And it’s a
really long walk if you try.”

He gets out and comes over to open
my door. I follow him into the house, and the inside is just as
gorgeous. It has hard wood polished floors, granite top benches in
the kitchen, massive all new appliances everywhere, a very large TV,
and a beautiful corner couch with cinema chairs around it.

He has really outdone himself with
this home. I’m so awestruck at everything, trying to take it
all in at once. Something in the lounge room catches my attention.
Josh was never one to hang photos up in his last home. There wasn’t
even a single one anywhere. But here, there is a very large canvas
photo hanging above the lounge. It stops me dead in my tracks when I
see it. It’s of the two of us taken at one of Blake’s
parties when we first started dating.

I didn’t even know he had
this photo. I’m leaning in on his shoulder laughing, with a
massive smile plastered on my face and Josh is staring down at me
like I’m the only person he sees.

It actually hurts me to see it,
but I can’t take my eyes off it. That’s how he always
looked at me, like I was the only girl in the room with prettiest
dress on and he just couldn’t ever take his eyes off me. My
thoughts get interrupted as I hear Josh make his way over to me.

“I love that photo. Brit
gave it to me one night and I always wanted to get it framed, but
never got around to it.”

I look up at him and see he is
looking at me that way again. I take a step back because he jumbles
up my thoughts when I’m around him.

“It is beautiful.”

“Indeed it is.”

We stand there looking at each
other without speaking, and I can feel his eyes roaming my body. I
feel a bit flustered, and turn back toward the picture so he can’t
see my face.

“Take a seat. I’ll get
you a wine, Sasha.”

Not long after he hands me the
wine, he takes a seat across from me on the couch.

“So what did you want to
talk about?” I ask because I’m getting sick of the
silence.

“How are you liking Sydney?”

“It’s great. I love it
there.”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

“Sorry, Josh, but I don’t
want to talk about that with you.” I don’t understand why
he going with small talk. I just want him to get straight to the
point. I’m tired. Today has been an emotional rollercoaster and
I’m ready to get off.

“Okay, well, have you at
least forgiven me?”

“Yes, Josh, I have. I
forgave you and Lola a while ago now.”

“Would you consider having dinner with me
sometime?”

“Look, Josh, I’m not
here to talk about rekindling. If that’s why you thought I
came, you have the wrong impression and I’m sorry for that.”

“To be honest, I just wanted
to talk to you. To make sure you didn’t hate me.”

“Well, I don’t. Would
you mind taking me back to the hotel now?”

“You shouldn’t stay at
a hotel. You can stay here. I have more than enough room.”

“Thanks, but no. I’m
staying with Brandon and we’re leaving tomorrow after I say
bye. I have to get back to work.”

“Okay, can I have your
number?”

“Why on Earth would you want
my number?”

“I just thought when I’m
in Sydney next, we could have coffee.”

I reluctantly agree because I know
he is trying to make amends. After I give Josh my number, he drops me
off at the hotel. We say our goodbyes, and he says he will stay in
touch. I’m not sure how I feel about that. My feelings for him
are so mixed after seeing him after so long.

“Hey, you made it back. I
didn’t think he would let you go,” Brandon says opening
the door for me