Sasha's Dilemma (17 page)

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because when I look into
your eyes, all I see is beauty. And that beauty is all mine whether
you admit it now or later.”

He never gave up on me. He was
just biding his time until I realised
that I love him, too.

“Will you consider giving us
another go?” Josh asks, looking down at me still lying on his
chest.

“I really do want to, Josh,
but… how can I be sure you won’t hurt me again like last
time?”

“I swear to you, Sash, I
would never intentionally hurt you in anyway.”

I can hear the truth in his words, but I’m willing
to give him a chance.

“Okay... I’ll try.”
I’m afraid this is going to be a mistake, but I’m hopeful
at the same time.

“You’re really going
to give us another chance?” he says, sounding hopeful.

“Yes, Josh, but so help me
God, if you hurt me again, I will rip your balls off.”

“Honey, I will hand them to
you on a platter, no ripping necessary.”

With that, he worships by body two
more times that night. He whispers sweet nothings to me all night
long, and I’ve never felt so loved.

I wake and realise if I don’t
get going now, I’m going to miss my shift at the hospital. I
get up, frantically trying to find my clothes.

“You weren’t running
again, were you?” he says with a hint of disappointment in his
eyes.

“No, you idiot. I’m
gonna be late for work, and I can’t find my bloody undies.”

I let out a scream as he picks me
up and throws me on the bed.

“Can’t you have a
sickie today and spend time with me?”

I look up at him, and I am really
contemplating it. He is looking at me with those big blue eyes
pleading with me to say yes. But I know I need to go and not give in
to him all the time. Otherwise, all of what has happened would be for
nothing.

“I can’t, but I can
text you when I have finished.”

“Sash, you’re breaking
my heart here by leaving. What is a man to do, hmmm?”

I grab a pillow and throw it at
him for being a smartass.

“Seriously, I’m going
to be late as it is. I need to go.”

“Okay, just give me some
sugar first.”

He slowly lets his lips touch
mine. It’s not as powerful as the kiss from yesterday, but it
still has the same effect. I feel my knees getting weak and my belly
getting excited with anticipation for what follows this kiss. Before
it gets that far, I back away and give him a final peck on the lips
and leave.

I finish my shift at the hospital
and Brax is waiting there for me like usual. I didn’t even
consider him yesterday when I was with Josh, and now I’m going
to have to face the music.

“Hey, Brax.”

He pulls me into a hug and kisses
the top of my head. “Hey, Sash, missed you yesterday.”

Even though I haven’t been
seeing him for long, I can’t ignore the pull he has over me. We
get into his car and talk about work until we pull up at my
apartment, and I know it’s time. “Brax, I think we need
to talk,” I tell him.

He nods his head and follows me
inside. I explain to him how last night I met up with Josh, and how
we have decided to start seeing each other again. He doesn’t
speak or interrupt me one bit. I finally find the courage to look up
at him once I’ve finished. He has a confused look on his face
as if he can’t believe what I just told him.

“Look, Sasha, I get it. He
is your first love. You need to see where it should have gone and now
you get that opportunity. I know we weren’t anything serious,
but I was hoping to be more and I care about you. Just promise me, if
he hurts you again, you won’t go back.”

I nod my head in agreement, and
then walk him to the door. He turns and kisses me like it’s the
last time he will ever see me. I hope it’s not, because whether
it worked out or not between us, he is a great man.

“I’ve wanted to do
that for a while,” he says in a husky voice. “Goodbye,
Sash.”

I watch him walk away and wonder
if I made the right choice. This isn’t like with Dylan, where I
knew we weren’t fit together, but wanted to try it anyway. With
Brax, he inspires hope and love.

Not long after he leaves, I hear
my cousins let themselves in and go straight to my fridge.

“What are you doing?”
I demand.

All four turn around, shrug their
shoulders, and then go back to raiding my kitchen. The twins walk out
with a sandwich and sit next to me on the couch.

“Hey, cuz, what’s
happening?” Kyle asks around a mouthful of food.

“Can you at least wait to
talk to me until you’ve finished what’s in that gob of
yours?”

“Oh, snap! Ha, you got told
off by a girl,” Ryan snickers at his brother.

They start bickering and punching
each other’s arms like teenagers. I wonder how either of them
ever get a woman.

“Hey, so we came for movie
night. Where’s Brax?” Ryan asks me.

“I’m not seeing him
anymore,” I tell them.

All four heads turn towards me,
but before I can say anything else, there is another knock on my
door. I shrug my shoulders at the boys and get up to answer it. I
swing the door open and find Josh standing there staring me up and
down.

“Well, hello there,”
he greets me in his sexy voice.

He leans in and kisses me on the
cheek. He notices the noises coming from inside my apartment. “You
have company?” He raises his eyebrows like ‘who the hell
do you have here,’ and that’s when the twins walk over
and stare at Josh.

“Who’s this?”
they ask in unison. I turn to introduce them and see Josh glaring at
them. I give him a scowl.

“Josh, these are my annoying
cousins, Kyle and Ryan. Boys, this is Josh.”

They shake hands and the boys
invite him in for movie night, which I guess I’m having now
whether I like it or not. He follows them in and I shut the door
behind them. I hear Brandon say hello and introduce Alan. I hear them
all chatting while I head to the kitchen.

Brandon comes in not long after,
and immediately asks, “You sure about this, Sasha?”

“What are you talking about? Josh?”

He nods his head and stares at me.

“I’m not completely
sure, but I know my feelings for him are stronger than any I’ve
had for anyone else,” I tell him honestly.

“But is that enough? I just
don’t want to see you hurt again. It took you ages to talk
about it, and finally get out of staying at home all the time.”

“I know, but I really need
to try.”

“Well, if he does hurt you,
he isn’t just messing with you. He will have to answer to all
four of us, and I will make sure he understands that.”

Movie night turned out to be
great. All the boys got along. By the end of the night, they had all
decided they wanted to stop in at his tattoo shop and get a tattoo.
Josh gave them his mobile number and told them to contact him
whenever they were ready. This impressed them and I got a thumbs up
by all, even Brandon. Josh couldn’t keep his hands off me all
night. They were either on my thigh or holding my hand. It was a
simple gesture but very sweet, and the boys approved, which means a
lot to me. I love them like brothers and their opinion matters to me.

The next morning, we are lying in
bed snuggling, when Josh informs me, “I have to head back
today, Sasha, but I don’t want that to change anything between
us. I’ll be back in two weeks.”

I foolishly didn’t even
consider when he would be leaving. It was too soon.
It hurts knowing I just got him back, yet he is leaving already, not
that I will admit that to him.

He must have seen the expression
on my face because he instantly grabs me and drags my body so I’m
lying on top of him.

“Hey.” He grabs my
face, looks me in the eyes, and kisses me. “You know I don’t
want to leave you. God, the last thing I want to do is leave now that
I have you back, but I need to sort some stuff out at the shop. I
can’t let Pixie run the show; otherwise, I won’t have a
business left.”

He laughs at that and returns to
kissing me. We make love again before he leaves. When I walk him to
the door, it hurts to watch him go.

He turns as he’s leaving and
asks, “Hey, I was wondering, is this where you plan on
seriously staying, or would you consider coming back home?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Okay, I guess that’s
better than a no. I’ll miss you and I’ll call you as soon
as I’m home.”

Once Josh is gone, I’m not
sure what to do with the rest of my day. I decide to call Lola and
talk to her.

“Hey,” I say when she
answers.

“Hey, sis.” She sounds
happy to hear from me, which puts a smile on face.

“How’s work going?”
I ask.

“Oh, come on, Sash, you
didn’t call to talk about work. What’s up?”

“Just wanted you to be the
first to know that I decided to give things a go with Josh again.”

“Oh…. okay, I was not
expecting that bombshell,” she says, sounding more than a
little shocked.

“I know. What happened back
then hurt me a lot, but it was mainly the trust that was broken. I
think we have hashed things out enough.”

“I’m glad, Sasha. I
really am. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. I’ve
come to really like Josh. I can see that he is a good man. He may be
a playboy and has a temper, but he is different with you and that’s
all that matters.”

“Thanks, Lola. That means a
lot.”

“So, does this mean you are
gonna come back?” she asks, sounding hopeful.

“I don’t know. I
haven’t gotten that far yet. It’s still so new.”

“It really isn’t. You
have known him for a while, and you dated for a few months. You were
even ready to move in with him then. Now you’re older and all
that shit.” I hear her laughing at herself, and it makes me
smile. I really have missed having my sister around.

“Anyway, on to another
topic, how’s Adam?”

“Ahh, well, that’s a
tough one. Some days are better than others, but I think he is trying
to be strong for Kasey. Koby’s court date is coming up, and
they said it’s looking pretty good; he will go away for a long
time. I think once that’s done, it will be better for him.
Until then, we just help out as much as we can.”

I remember hearing of what he did
to her and how his obsession only grew. I can’t understand how
if you love someone as much as Koby said he did, how he could hurt
her so badly.

“I miss them so much. Brit
used to Skype me once a week and kept me updated on Kasey and her
life. I loved those chats. I really miss her, Lola.”

“I know, sis, me too.”

We’re quiet for a while
before either of us speak.

“How’re the boys? I
miss them. Make sure you say hello to them from me,” Lola says,
finally breaking the silence.

“Ha, yeah, they’re
good, but annoying the hell out of me and barging in whenever they
like. Brandon won’t give me my bloody key back!”

“Ha ha! You will never see
that key again if they have a say in it. You know how they are with
you. You’re the baby and they think they’re your
brothers, bloody idiots.”

“Oh, don’t I know it.
Actually, they all met Josh last night. That was interesting,”
I tell her.

“Oh, fill me in. How did
that go with the brutes and the hottie?”

“You’re a tool. It was
awkward at first, but by the end of the night, they loved him, but
still threaten bodily harm if he hurt me.”

“Ha ha, bloody
overprotective cousins. All right, Sasha, I got to go. I have a hot
date lined up for tonight, so it’s time for me to go and get my
freak on. Catch you later. Love ya guts. Mwah!”

“Love you, too.”

Once I get off the phone, I check
my emails. I see that there is a message from Rose. She is asking for
my address so she can send me an invite to her and Dylan’s
wedding. I reply and tell her I miss her and hope everything is going
good with them.

About five months after I left,
Rose rang me and said Dylan asked her out on a date. She just wanted
to check with me to see if it would bother me. I told her the truth
that I didn’t hold feelings for Dylan anymore. She couldn’t
have picked a nicer man. Not long after, they moved in together and
only six months later he proposed.

I flew there for their engagement
party. I thought it was going to be awkward, but it wasn’t.
They make the most beautiful couple and soon they will make a
gorgeous husband and wife. They’re both very caring and
considerate people, and I couldn’t ask for better friends. Even
when things didn’t work out between me and Dylan, I still
considered him a friend and he hasn’t disappointed to this day.

Dylan and I talk regularly, but
usually Rose steals the phone to chat to me. She’s always
asking about my love life and about work. She is a little mother hen.
They’re even talking about having children straight after their
honeymoon. I smiled when I heard that. Those two are going to be
great parents.

It’s been a long two weeks
waiting for Josh to return. We have been on the phone every day
chatting back and forth. He told me about the studio here, and is
considering moving here if I don’t want to leave. I admitted to
him that I’ve seen the studio but never got up the nerve to
stop in.

When I mentioned that, he was
quiet for a while before asking, “Would you have ever
considered seeing me again?”

“Well, obviously I did.”

“Is the reason you never
stopped because you didn’t want to cause a scene?”

“I don’t know. I just
thought it would hurt too much seeing you, so I didn’t give it
much thought.”

“I guess I can understand
that.”

I never let myself think about
it, but I’ve really missed how we used to be. I’m glad I
have him back in my life again.

I’m now standing in the
airport, ready to surprise him. He told me he was going to come
straight to my place once he landed, but I thought I would meet him
here. When I see him walk off the plane, my heart starts to beat like
I’m a teenager seeing a rock star. It’s crazy the effect
this man has on me.