Scars of the Present (10 page)

The night air hit me when I was taken outside, and I heard someone try to stop us.

“Whoa man, she’s pretty far gone. I can’t let you take her with you.”

A female voice said something about police, and the first guy didn’t respond again, but we kept moving. I heard a car door open, and I was laid gently across a cool leather seat. I whimpered at the loss of the arms, but I was too tired to protest, so I just snuggled into the seat.

I was faintly aware that we were moving and I heard two voices in the front seat talking quietly.

“Where are we taking her?” The female voice had returned, but she sounded far away or like she was in a tunnel.

“Linda Thomas has a bed for her and she won’t be alone. “ The male voice sounded muffled, and I wondered how he knew Linda.

“She’s a hot mess. She’s lucky she didn’t end up the same way Maddie did.” The woman sounded irritated, and I wanted to tell her to mind her own business. “The bartender mentioned she was at least ten shots in, probably more. She’s a tiny thing and she’ll definitely feel it tomorrow.”

“Yeah, I’m glad Sean called when he did.” The man didn’t sound as irritated, but more sad, and I wanted to comfort him.

I dozed off in the backseat, and when I woke I was cradled back against the chest. I made out Linda’s voice briefly before I was laid on top of a comfy bed. My shoes were pulled off, and someone tucked a warm blanket around.

“Oh Tink, why did you do that?” David’s voice washed over me, and I instantly felt comforted.

“Sorry David. I’m just not good.” My tired voice slurred as I tried to speak. I curled into the pillow to sleep and imagined I felt David’s lips press against my forehead.

Chapter Fourteen

I woke up and immediately I felt like someone had slammed into my head repeatedly with a rock. I tried to open my eyes, but the blinding light made the pain worse. I moaned unhappily and willed the pain in my head to just stop.

Suddenly, I knew I was going to be sick. The agony in my head was almost too intense to notice that my stomach was rolling, but I knew it was going to happen. I jumped out of bed and moved out to the hallway, trying to figure out where I was. Thankfully, the bathroom door was open and directly across from the bedroom. I had barely made it to the toilet when I lost everything my stomach had to offer.

I don’t know how long I sat there and vomited, but once my stomach was empty I collapsed on the cool tile and went back to sleep.

When I woke for the second time I had been covered by a light blanket and there was a glass of water with some tiny orange pills sitting on the edge of the bathtub. I swallowed the pills quickly and drank the entire glass of water without breathing once. I sat still for a moment, trying to gauge how solid my stomach was, and when I had decided I was done vomiting, I stood with the blanket wrapped around me.

I padded back into, what I now recognized as Maddie’s old room, and fell into her bed. The blankets smelled familiar, was glad for something comforting because it felt like my brain was going to pulsate out of my skull. I closed my eyes and fell back asleep.

The next time I opened my eyes my head still hurt but the throbbing was gone. I sat up and rest my head on my knees, letting out a low groan.

“Oh, Sydney Rae, what were you thinking?”

I turned my head towards the door, leaving it up against my knees and saw Linda standing in the door way.

I groaned again. “I don’t think I was, Linda.” I attempt to smile at her, but my lips wouldn’t move. “What time is it?”

She moved into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s after two, sweetheart.”

“Oh god, I missed my whole shift at the hospital.” I sat up straight and cringed.

“I called and let them know you weren’t feeling well. You’re covered.” She rubbed my back gently. “I’m going to go make you something to put into your stomach.”

“Thank you so much for letting me sleep here last night. I’m not sure how I got here, but thank you.”

Linda stood and smiled at me. “Detective Wilson and Detective Bradley dropped you off. He called me a little after one this morning and said he had found you severely intoxicated. He wasn’t sure if Amanda and Maddie were at the apartment so I had him bring you here. Such a good boy.” She turned and walked out of the room, and I stayed still.

I hadn’t dreamt David after all, and he had picked me up at the club. Which also meant he had been the one to pull me away from the guy last night. I buried my face in my hands and wanted to cry. I longed for just a few days prior when I woke up being held wrapped in David’s arms, and now I would probably be lucky if he ever spoke to me again.

I didn’t move again until Linda brought me a plate of toast, eggs, and orange juice. I ate quickly and felt considerably better once I was done. I walked my empty plate into the kitchen, washing it and putting it away. I collapsed on Linda’s couch and pulled my phone out of my purse. I ignored the missed calls and texts and just called Amanda.

“Hey Syd.” She answered on the second ring.

“Hey, are you home?” I leaned my head back and rest it on the couch cushion.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“I’m at Linda’s. Do you mind coming to get me?”

“Ah,” a sound of realization dawned on her. “I was confused when I saw your car here this morning but you weren’t. What are you doing at Linda’s?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you when I get home, okay?” We hung up and I went to find Linda, giving her a hug before apologizing to her

“Oh Sydney, you can always come home. I don’t care how old you are, you call me if you need me, okay?” I thanked her before hugging her again and moving to the living room to wait for Amanda.

Amanda’s Toyota pulled up and ran outside to hop in, grabbing her second pair of sunglasses out of her glove box.

“Jesus, you look like shit and you smell like you bathed in alcohol.”

“You’re not too far off.” I closed my eyes and tried to shut whatever light out that I could.

“You got trashed on a weeknight? That’s pretty hardcore, even for you.” I could hear the confusion in her voice so I confessed the details of the last three days to her.

Amanda parked and I walked slowly behind her, climbing the stairs in my bare feet as I help my shoes in my hand.

I collapsed on the couch, and sighed. “I fucked up, and I don’t even know where to go from this point.”

Amanda sat on the other half of the sectional and shrugged. “The shower might be a good place,” she teased, and I knew she was trying to make me feel better. “But seriously, get back on track. Get your shit together and try approaching him once you’re sane. And if you lost him, Syd, you learn from it and move on.”

“Learn from it and move on,” I repeated slowly. The thought that I lost David for good was like a hot searing pain to the stomach. I knew Amanda was just trying to be honest, but for once I wished she would just sugarcoat it for me.

I went to my room and took a long, hot shower before putting my pajamas on and sitting in bed with my phone. I went through my missed calls and texts, and felt disappointed when none of them were from David. There was one from Sean though.

Sean: I’ve never seen you like that, and I didn’t like it. I hope Detective Bradley took you somewhere where you could sleep it off. Let me know you’re okay.

I text him back quickly, just thanking him and letting him know I was fine, and then I made a split second decision to call David. It rang a few times before going to voicemail, and I took a deep breath as his voice came through the line, letting me know to leave a message at the beep.

“David, it’s me. Uh, Sydney. Thank you for taking me to Linda’s last night and I’m really sorry you had to see that. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m just so sorry.” I paused, trying to decide what else to say. “I just… I miss you.” My voice broke on the last part and I hung up, tossing my phone onto the bed.

I opened my laptop to resume the movie I had been watching just the night before, and curled up to finish it.

I didn’t even realize I’d fallen asleep until ringing jolted me awake. I pulled my phone to me and swiped it open without looking at who it was.

“Lo?”

“Sydney.”

I bit back a groan. “Hello mother.”

“I’m calling to remind you we have the Miller’s garden party this weekend, and then the 4
th
of July soiree the following week.” Her voice sounded agitated, like her calling me was my fault.

“Fine.”

“You don’t need to bring a date to either.”

“No mother. I will not be subject to one of your escorts again. I’ll bring my own date.”

She didn’t respond for a full minute and when she did she huffed. “Fine. Make sure they are presentable.”

And with that she hung up the phone.

I pulled my pillow over my head and attempted to go back to sleep. I could hear people out in the living room, and I had no desire to join anyone right now. My phone rang again, and I picked it up expecting to see my mother’s name, but my heart started pounding when the phone flashed ‘Ralph’,

“David.” I breathed out his name and closed my eyes.

“Hi Sydney.” Those two words sounded so wrong from his tense voice.

“God, I’m so sorry.” Neither of us said anything, and I squeezed my eyes shut. “I messed up, David.”

“Yeah Tink, you did. I’m sorry I didn’t call after you left that night, but we had a case come in that I couldn’t get away from. And then I have to pull away from it anyway because I got a call that my girlfriend was wasted and trying to take every guy in the club home.” He’s voice was loud and angry by the end, and I wanted to cringe in shame.

“I just…” I didn’t get a chance to talk before David interrupted me.

“You promised, Sydney. Only me. And apparently I can’t trust you. How can I be with someone I don’t trust?”

Tears fell down my face and I shook my head. “I thought you were done with me, and I didn’t know what to do.”

“So you decided to go find someone to fuck. That’s a fantastic solution. Do you know how that felt? Seeing that guy touching you like that? Knowing that if I had come that you would have had sex with him freely?”

I wiped the tears from my face, but didn’t respond.

“I need some time, Sydney. I just don’t get it. One day I’m asking you if you wanted a future with me and the next I’m pulling you out of some other guy’s arms. I just need some time.”

“I understand,” I whispered quietly.

He groaned in frustration. “I should have text you or something, but I was mad at you for walking away, especially when I asked you not to. I wanted you to feel the irritation I felt.”

I sat in silence, knowing I didn’t have anything to say that would help.

“Honestly Sydney, are you going to drink a bottle and run to some other guy’s arms every time we have a disagreement?”

“No!” I ran my hand through my hair. “No, and that’s not what I was doing this time. I just wanted to numb the pain. I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, me too.” He sighed. “Like I said, I need some time. I’ll call you, okay?”

I wiped another tear from my face. “Okay.”

“Sydney... If you need me, call me okay? No matter what.”

“I will.” I ended the call and buried my face into the pillow, wishing I could go back in time. I had known from the start that I would probably mess this up, but the reality of it actually happening was so much worse than I imagined.

Chapter Fifteen

I woke up the Thursday morning determined to get back on the right track. I showered and got ready for my shift at the hospital, and headed out of my room for the first time since I returned from Linda’s house.

The living room and kitchen were empty, but a full pot of coffee told me I wasn’t alone.

I filled up my travel mug and tossed both a banana and a muffin into my purse before gathering my keys and heading out the door. I was just hitting the bottom stair when Amanda ran up, obviously having just finished her morning run. She popped her earbuds out of her ears and looked at me.

“Going to the hospital?” She put her water bottle to her mouth and took a long drink of it.

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I need to make up for what I missed yesterday.”

“Did you ever talk to David?”

I just stared at her for a moment and gave a stiff nod. “Yeah. It wasn’t good.”

“Oh Syd. I’m so sorry.” Amanda moved to hug me and then thought better of it when she realized how sweaty she was. “Are you okay?”

I shrugged and gave her a small smile. “I will be. I have to get going. Love you.”

“Love you too.” She ran up the stairs and I continued to my car.

The hospital director accepted my apology with a wave of the hand, mentioning that I was already one of the hardest working volunteers anyway, and I deserved a day off.

I dived into the work that needed to be done, and by the time my shift was over I felt fairly accomplished. As I walked back to my car afterwards, I briefly wondered what my dad would say if I told him I wanted to do something like that as a career.

I got in the car, but instead of turning it on I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my contacts before pressing the call button.

“Hey Syd.”

“Hey Matt,” I said, leaning back in my seat. “I have a favor I wanted to ask.”

“Okay, what can I do?” He sounded surprised, probably because I’d never asked Matt for anything.

“I have to go to the fancy garden party on Saturday, and if I don’t bring a date my mom will try to hook me up with another 50-year-old.” I sighed. “Is there any chance you’d be willing to go with me?”

“Do I have to wear a tux?”

I laughed. “No, but you do have to wear a tie. Maybe some nice khakis and a dress shirt?”

“I can handle that. I’ll go with ya, Syd.”

I let out a huge sigh. “Thank you so much, Matt. I’ll text you the details, okay?”

“Sounds good.”

After we had hung up, I sat in the parking lot for a few more minutes before I started the car and headed back to the apartment. Amanda was in the kitchen when I walked through the door, and I set my purse down before moving towards the fridge.

“Hey babe,” I smiled at her as I opened the bottle of water.

She looked up from the chicken she was cooking and smiled. “Hey Syd. You okay?”

I shrugged. “I’ll survive. Hey, I needed a date for a thing with my parents this weekend, and I asked Matt. I hope that’s okay.” I glanced at her before continuing on quickly. “I just needed someone to go with and you know I love Matt like a brother, right?”

“Of course, go with him. I have no claim to him anyway.”

I rolled my eyes and gave her a look. “Whatever you say. But, he’s just going as my friend, and I wanted to let you know. I would ask Sean, but I think that might be a little awkward.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “Probably. Matt will be good to go with- he’ll help you make fun of all the rich people.”

“Definitely.” I reached in to give her a hug. “Thanks for understanding.”

I tried to stay busy all evening, hoping that the big gap of loneliness wouldn’t show. By the time I went to bed, I didn’t feel lonely, I just felt sad. Both Becca and Emily had text me, but the thought of going out just made my stomach ache as I remembered how defeated David sounded.

Instead I dived into different books. Some were corny love stories that made me cry, and others were unbelievable fantasy novels. By the time Saturday rolled around, I had read two different books to keep myself occupied.

On Saturday afternoon, I did my hair and make-up before dressing in a sleeveless blue summer dress with my favorite silver sandals. I gave my reflection a nod before heading out to the living room where Matt was already waiting. Amanda was sitting opposite him on the couch, and they were just staring at each other in silence. When he saw me, he dragged his eyes from Amanda and stood up.

Matt was a big guy, not only over six feet tall, but he had muscular defined arms from years of being in the army. His bright blue eyes matched Maddie’s perfectly, and his usually buzzed dark blonde hair was starting to grow out a little. He looked fantastic in his khaki slacks, matched with a white dress shirt and tie. As I moved closer to him, I got a look at his tie and laughed.

His tie was navy blue, but it had little images of basketball hoops with balls in them. It was a tie my mother definitely would not approve of and I liked it.

“Hey Syd. Ready to go?” He glanced back at Amanda before gesturing to the front door.

“Yeah, thanks for doing this, Matt.”

Without looking back to Amanda, he moved to the front door and disappeared through it.

“You okay?” I mouthed to Amanda and she just nodded, forcing a smiling and gesturing at me to leave. I gave her a small wave and met Matt in his Jeep.

We chatted the whole way to the event, and when we pulled up to leave the car with the valet I turned to look at Matt.

“We only have to stay an hour, two tops.”

Matt pushed opened his door and came around to my side as he flashed me a grin. “Is there an open bar?”

I nodded and took his arm when he offered.

“Then no rush.”

We moved through the huge backyard of the estate, stopping to get Matt a drink, and found the table my parents were sitting at.

“Mom, dad, you remember Matt Thomas right?”

My mom frowned and gave me a disapproving look, but my father stood and offered a hand to Matt.

“Of course. Hello, Matt. It’s been a few years.”

Matt shook his hand and smiled at my dad. “Hey Mr. Lewis. Good to see you again.” He turned his head and dipped it slightly towards my mom. “Mrs. Lewis.”

My mom didn’t acknowledge him at all and just glared at me.

She refused to talk to Matt throughout dinner, although my dad and he conversed quite a bit.

My dad asked him all sorts of questions about being overseas, and they discussed the lack of support for returning vets. I was really happy that Matt wasn’t completely miserable, but I still ached for David to be by my side.

Matt excused himself to the restroom after he was done eating and my father smiled at me.

“He’s a pleasant fellow. Are you seeing him?”

I shook my head and gave my dad a grin. “No, I had to bribe him with the open bar to come with me tonight. He’s just a friend.”

My mom huffed. “Thank goodness. What a savage.”

“Diane, that’s enough,” My father said to her quietly.

I rolled my eyes at my mother and looked at her in disbelief. “He’s an amazing man, and you’d be lucky to get to know someone like him. He put his life at risk for years when he didn’t have to. You don’t have to like him, but you should definitely respect him.”

I placed my napkin on the table and stood up. “Thanks for the dinner, Daddy.” I walked to the bar where Matt was getting another drink and he smiled at me.

“Let’s dance, Syd. This may be the only swanky event I get to go to, and I wanna dance.”

A small giggle escaped my lips as I realized he was a little tipsy, and I grabbed his hand and took him to the dance floor.

Matt was an amazingly fun dancer. We danced like a couple of fools- doing the boogie when the music was upbeat, and showing off a terrible tango when the music was slow. By the time we stepped off the dance floor we were both sweaty and laughing.

We gathered our stuff from the table, and Matt shook hands with my dad once more before politely saying farewell to my mom. We made for the exit, only stopping at the bar so that Matt could get one more drink. Matt made small talk with the bartender and I pulled my phone out of my clutch to check the time. A warm hand settled on my back and I immediately got the chills, but not in a good way.

“You look more delicious every time I see you.”

I turned my head and found Kerry Morgan wearing a slimy smile. I narrowed my eyes and shrugged his hand away.

“You really don’t take a hint, do you?” I looked over to where Matt and the bartender were comparing tattoos and completely oblivious of everyone around them.

Kerry stepped in front of me, putting himself between me and Matt, a scowl set on his face. “You would be smart to quit rejecting me. Your mother all but promised you would show me a good time, and you’d hate for your dad to pay for her broken promises, wouldn’t you?”

“Oh geez,” I said with an eye roll. “You are really ridiculous, you know that? You will have to take it up with my mother, because you will never get a good time from me.”

“I’ll take it if I have to, Ms. Lewis.” Kerry stepped forward so that he was just inches from me, and his tone was menacing. “You will be in my bed, make no mistake about that.”

Kerry was jerked back swiftly, a look of surprise barely having time to register on his face as Matt shoved him to the ground.

“Get away from her,” Matt growled as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, his balance a little unsteady. “If I ever catch you near her again, I will beat the shit out of you.”

Kerry moved to open his mouth, but Matt shook his head and kept going before Kerry could speak. “I have plenty of friends in law enforcement who would say you fell. You’re lucky one of them isn’t here, because if he caught you touching his girl you would already be in either cuffs or the hospital.”

Kerry snapped his mouth shut, but glared at Matt before turning his gaze on me. I just smiled and leaned my head against Matt’s side.

“You have a good night, Mr. Morgan.”

Matt and I walked towards the exit, both of us laughing as we did.

“The look on his face was priceless, Matt. Thank you.”

He handed the valet his ticket and turned to grin at me. “What an asshole. Sorry it took me so long to get to you, I’m a little drunk.”

I laughed and shook my head. “Don’t apologize. You’re my own personal hero.”

The valet handed me Matt’s keys and I loaded him into the passenger seat. The sun had gone down, leaving the cab of the car was dark as I drove across the city.

“Why doesn’t she want to be with me, Sydney?” Matt murmured next to me. “I would treat her right, but she won’t let me.”

“Who, Matt?” I asked, wondering if he was talking about Amanda.

But he didn’t answer me. Instead he let out a cheer and leaned forward to turn up the radio. “I love this song!”

When we made it back to his townhouse I walked with Matt inside. He kicked off his shoes by the door and swayed near the bottom of the stairs before climbing them. As we walked up, he removed his dress clothes and tossed them aside and by the time we made it to his bedroom he was in just a pair of boxers. He fell into his bed, and I laughed before reaching down to cover him up. His strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me close and he sighed.

“That was fun, Sydney. Thanks for taking me.”

I hugged him back for a minute and when he released me I kissed his cheek. “Thanks for coming, Matt. Get some rest.”

I went downstairs and grabbed some ibuprofen and a bottle of water to leave on his nightstand, and when I got back upstairs he was already asleep. I left his keys on the kitchen counter, grabbed my purse, and opened the front door, locking the thumb lock before pulling it closed.

I sat on the porch and pulled my phone out of my purse. I stared at it for a moment before calling a cab company and giving them Matt’s address. I ended the call and still fought the urge to call David. It had only been a week since that last night we spent together, but suddenly it felt like an eternity. I tucked my phone away, let out a huge sigh, and just waited for the cab to show up.