Scattered Colors (14 page)

“I’ve been a lousy father, Freya...” I opened my mouth to try and argue, to tell him I understood, but his hand came up to stop me. “I know I have, and there’s no excuse for how I’ve been acting. I should have been there for you and I wasn’t. But I want to try and fix that, sweetie. That is, if you’ll let me.”

“Y-yeah,” I stuttered, trying my hardest to hold back my tears. The emotions running through me as my father finally
looked
at me were overwhelming. “Yeah, Daddy. I want that. I’ve missed you.”

He was off his barstool and wrapping me in a tight embrace before I could take a solid breath. Without hesitation, my arms went around his strong waist as I allowed myself to soak up the comfort he was offering me. It was a comfort I feared I was never going to get back. I squeezed him tightly, never wanting to let go. The familiarity of being in my father’s arms was a balm I’d needed desperately for so long.

“I’ve missed you, too, baby girl,” he choked out. At the sound of the tears in his voice, my own finally broke free. “I’m so sorry, Freya. I can’t promise I won’t screw up again, but I swear to God, I’ll try my very best. You have my word, honey.”

Taking a deep breath, I pulled in my father’s familiar scent and let it surround me like a blanket before finally leaning back and smiling up at him. “Better late than never. We’ll figure it out as we go.”

His hands came up to form around my cheeks as his gaze darted back and forth between my eyes. “How’d you get so smart?”

“Good genes, I guess.”

“Oh, honey. That was all your mom. I can’t take credit for that. You two always did run circles around me.”

As I looked up into my father’s smiling face, I began to think that maybe things were finally starting to get better.

By the time I got to school later that morning, excitement coursed through my veins at the thought of seeing Parker again. I needed a chance to tell him just how much I appreciated him being there for me a few nights before. And I couldn’t wait to tell him about the breakthrough I had with my father. Things weren’t completely fixed with that one conversation, but it was a starting point and I wanted to share that with Parker.

“Morning, sunshine!” Stella exclaimed loudly as I walked up to my locker and began the process of turning the dial and beating on the door to get it to open.

“God, you really are a sickeningly sweet morning person, aren’t you? I’m not sure if we’ll be able to stay friends.”

“Whatever. You know you love me,” she joked.

We turned to head toward our English class when I noticed Parker walking down the hall in our direction. His head was down, a black hoodie pulled up masking part of his face, but I could still tell it was him. It was the way he walked that made him recognizable, even as he tried to remain discreet.

I smiled as he got closer, a sense of elation at seeing him rushing through me. “Hey.” I reached out to touch him. The moment my hand came in contact with his, he flinched like he hadn’t heard me calling him. His head shot up as he pulled earbuds from his ears, screeching metal music raging through them so loud I was able to hear it from where I was standing. But that wasn’t what held my concern.

“Oh, my God, are you okay?” I gasped as I noticed the angry blue and black bruise spread across his left cheek. The swollen, puffy skin on his cheekbone had been ripped open and was currently being held closed with two flimsy butterfly bandages. It looked horribly painful. “What happened?” I asked as I reached up to touch his injured cheek.

He jerked away from my touch, grumbling, “Nothing.” He wouldn’t meet my gaze as he tried to walk past Stella and me.

I reached for the sleeve of his hoodie and held on, refusing to let go until he talked to me. By the massive bruise on his face and his somber demeanor, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that something major had happened from the time he left my house to now. I felt an insane need to help him with whatever he was going through just then. He’d been there for me a few nights ago and I wanted to return to favor. But I needed him to talk to me first.

“Stella, we’ll meet you in class.” Thankfully, she seemed to get the silent message I was trying to get across and began backing away. I needed a few minutes alone with Parker, and I had a feeling he wouldn’t open up to me if there were other people around.

“Yeah, I’ll see you in there.” She turned and hurried down the hall. The first warning bell rang and the sea of students around us began pushing and shoving to get to their destinations.

When I finally turned back to Parker, his eyes were still on the ground as he shifted from foot to foot. If I had to guess, standing in the emptying hallway was the last place he wanted to be. “What’s going on, Parker?” I asked softly.

“I told you it’s nothing,” he glowered. “Drop it, Freya.”

He tried to step around me but I shifted in front of him, blocking his way. “Hey.” I stopped him with a finger to his chest. “I don’t know what’s going on, but it’s obvious whatever it is isn’t good. I’m your friend, Parker. Talk to me, please.”

“Jesus Christ!” he snapped. “Why do chicks try to make something out of nothing?” He ran his hands through his mop of hair frantically, knocking the hood from his head in the process. “I don’t need your shit right now, Freya. I fell off the goddamned arbor climbing out your window, that’s it. Let it go, or we’ll be late for class.”

I wasn’t surprised to hear Parker curse, but I was taken aback by just how much anger was in his words and the fact that they were directed at me.

“Bullshit,” I spat, standing toe to toe with him. If he wanted to use me as his verbal punching bag because he was going through something heavy, then he’d have a fight on his hands. I wasn’t backing down. “You’re lying. You don’t want to tell me what really happened, that’s fine. But don’t take your shit out on me. We’re friends, Parker, and that means we
help
each other. You were there for me when I needed it. Please, let me do the same thing for you.”

He stepped close, his voice coming out low between his clenched teeth. “I don’t
need
your help.”

I narrowed my eyes at his blunt, abrasive tone, not allowing myself to be intimidated by him. “You’re full of shit, Parker. Let me know when you decide to stop lying to me.” I spun on my heels and stomped down the hall toward class, ignoring the feel of his eyes on me as he trailed behind. I spent the entire period so focused on ignoring the pull of the boy behind me that I hardly paid attention to anything Mrs. Wilkins had said. I briefly caught a piece when she mentioned our papers on
The Crucible
were due at the end of the week. In all the time we’d spent together, that damn project hadn’t even crossed my mind. I wondered if Parker had bothered to write it like he’d promised or if I was going to have to buckle down and do it all myself.

For weeks, Parker had shown me a side of himself I felt was just for me. I thought he’d proven me wrong in my initial judgment of him, but seeing him revert back to how he was those first few days created a nagging disappointment in the center of my chest.

As the morning progressed into afternoon, my concern grew heavier. Despite the length of time I’d actually known Parker, it
felt
like I knew him well, better than most people probably did. I got the feeling that he didn’t show the parts of himself he’d shown me to others. When we talked about my mother, it was as if there was a kinship there, like we clicked on a level other people might not understand. Finding out he’d suffered a loss as well had built a bond between the two of us, or at least it had felt that way before his blow-up earlier that morning. He sat sullenly through Biology, not once lifting his head in acknowledgment whenever Seth leaned in to talk to him. He kept his head down and his shoulders slumped. My eyes stayed trained to his defeated posture for the whole hour and a half that our teacher prattled on about something or another, my heart aching at the sight of him looking so defeated.

After much thought, I’d finally decided to confront him—in a much calmer manner—at lunch. I sat at the table with Stella just pushing the food around on my tray, my appetite nonexistent. I kept an eagle eye on the cafeteria doors waiting for him to walk through, but each time they opened to show someone other than Parker that worry in the pit of my stomach grew even larger.

“I heard he left early,” Stella said, cutting into my internal debate over what could be plaguing Parker.

I turned my eyes to my friend, shaking myself out of my daze to see her looking at me with pity in her shiny green eyes. “What?”

“Parker. You’re watching the door like a hawk. Every time someone other than him walks through, you sigh.”

I hadn’t realized I’d been so obvious. “Something’s not right,” I told her, looking down at the glob of unrecognizable food on my plate. “We got in a fight this morning and he…I don’t know…with that bruise and how he was acting…I’m just worried.”

“You like him.” It wasn’t a question; she spoke with absolute certainty.

“What? No! No, I don’t like him. He’s just a friend,” I insisted adamantly.

Her brow furrowed as she studied my reddening cheeks. “You do. You like him. There’s nothing wrong with that, Freya. He’s not a bad guy.”

“Stella, I don’t like him. I’m just concerned…as a friend,” I tacked on to the end. I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince, me or her. I knew nothing about Parker Owens, but somehow he’d managed to work his way past my defenses. I felt more normal with him than I did around anyone else. It was as if I were healing bit by bit whenever I was in his presence, as if I were getting some of myself back.

“If you say so.” She shrugged casually and bit into her sandwich, keeping a knowing gaze on me as she chewed. “You know, that’s not the first time he’s shown up to school with bruises,” she said after she swallowed and sat her sandwich back down on her plate, her face a mask of sympathy.

The tiny hairs on my arms stood on end as I straightened in my seat. “What?”

“Every few months, Parker shows up at school sporting a black eye or a busted lip, something like that. People talk, you know? But he always has an excuse. No one really knows what actually happened.”

“Oh, God,” I breathed with a hand to my chest, my mind automatically running rampant with a dozen different scenarios, each one worse than the last.

“I’ve never seen him act the way he does with you around any other girl, not even Cassidy, and they dated for, like, two years. Maybe you should try talking to him.”

I ran a hand through my hair in frustration. “I tried, Stella. That’s what we fought about this morning. He didn’t want to talk about it and turned into an asshole.”

Her expression grew thoughtful before she spoke again. “And I’m guessing you got angry back at him?”

I glared at her for a few seconds before finally relenting under her steady gaze. “All right, yeah. I might have gotten a little angry. But he was being a jerk!” I defended.

“Well, maybe you should try talking to him
without
getting defensive. Just a suggestion.” She grinned at me and bit into her lunch again. I could have done without her smug insightfulness right at that moment. “I’m just saying, I think if you can both manage to keep your tempers in check, he might actually open up to you. You seem to get him to react differently than he does with everyone else.”

“I don’t know about that,” I grumbled. “He seemed to react to me like he would anyone else.”

“He probably felt cornered.”

“So, what do you suggest?”

“Finesse, my dear.” She giggled. “Try using finesse.”

“Finesse,” I repeated as though I didn’t understand what she was saying.

“Yeah. Basically I’m telling you not to be a bitch. Don’t go in guns a blazin’. You’ll attract more bees with honey than vinegar and all that jazz.”

“Any other metaphors you want to throw at me?” I deadpanned.

“Nah, I’m good for now. But I’ll text you if I come up with anything else.”

I spent the remainder of the day playing out what I’d say when I saw Parker next, trying to take Stella’s advice to heart. Parker and I had butted heads quite a bit when we first met. I knew it would be difficult to keep my attitude in check when it came to him, but I also knew I had to at least try. There was just something about him that made my emotions more intense than normal. I responded to him in a way I never had with anyone else. Be it anger or attraction, what I felt around Parker was ten times stronger than it should have been.