Second Down (Moving the Chains Book 2) (27 page)

On the other hand, because Evie is actually always on my mind, I make a mental note to find Eddie before I see Evie. I have no desire to talk to the douche, I just need to lay eyes on him. Gotta make sure I didn’t pound his ass in my drunken stupor. I still haven’t quite figured out how I’m gonna get that asshole, but I know damn well if he’d started any shit while I was that intoxicated, I wouldn’t have let it slide.

Though I would never betray Evie’s desire to keep what happened between them from being public knowledge, the idea that Eddie is still running around like nothing happened, potentially hurting other girls who don’t know what he really is, doesn’t sit right with me. I feel like not only did I fail Evie, but I’m failing every other female on the planet who could be his next victim. Hell, who knows how many other girls have gone through the same experience she did? Either she was the only one, or none of them want to admit it, either.

I can’t wrap my head around that. Simply cannot understand why a woman wouldn’t want to shout from the rooftops that a guy is a raping bastard. Isn’t that part of the girl code, or something? Wouldn’t they want to protect each other with that knowledge?

In Evie’s case, I feel like I understand why she feels at fault for what happened with Eddie. She thinks she brought it on herself, in some twisted way of paying penance for only going out with him to make me jealous. She feels guilty for trying to cope with his hands on her by imagining it was me, instead.

I gotta stop myself, right there. I’m already nauseated enough without that mental picture. I don’t know what’s worse. Actually having witnessed with my own two eyes what Jackson did to her, or my imagination running wild with what Eddie might have done to her.

Hell, I’m never gonna get a boner, again, at this rate.

Alex chuckles to my left, getting in his locker and throwing me the side eye. “How ya feelin’ this morning, bro?”

“Go to hell. You know damn well how I’m feeling.”  Like I’m going to throw up and my head will burst.

“When I said we should all let loose and have a good time, I didn’t mean you should drink yourself into a coma, you dumbass. You know you have zero tolerance because you never drink.”

Yeah, I know it. I turn to face him in all seriousness. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before, but with Alex’s champion liver, he was probably at least aware of what happened that night. “Hey, uh, I didn’t do anything stupid at the bonfire, did I? I mean, Eddie’s still alive, right?”

The look on Alex’s face would be priceless if it weren’t so disconcerting. “You don’t remember a thing about that night, do you?”

“Uh...no.”  I would never admit that to anyone else.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”  An expression of sheer anger crosses his face as he turns back to his locker, and my heart leaps into my throat.

“Alex.”

“
You
didn’t do anything stupid, bro. You just passed out, and I made sure your ass got home.”  He seems to work to control his emotions, turning to me with a carefully neutral face. “You finally get to talk to Evie yesterday?”

I run a hand through my hair and look over my shoulder down the hall towards her locker. Kerri and Jess are there, but Evie is noticeably absent. I saw her car in the parking lot, so I know she’s here. She must already be in homeroom. “No, she wouldn’t answer any of my calls or texts, and I honestly can’t blame her. I didn’t even wake up until around five, and she’s probably pissed, thinking I blew her off.”

“Nah, she picked up a shift yesterday. She was at work by then, and stayed until close.”

I can’t help the spark of jealousy that fires through my veins, especially after what happened on Thanksgiving. “How do you know?”

He shrugs, like it’s no big deal that he knows my girlfriend’s schedule better than I do. “I didn’t wake up until around four, so I went to the diner for some greasy food. Nothing better for a hangover. Thank fucking Christ Evie was working, because there was no way in hell I could put up with Gena, yesterday. I had a headache that just wouldn’t quit. Anyway, I checked with her, and CJ wasn’t working, so I just hung out there to make sure she got to her car alright.”

My anger deflates knowing that Alex was only trying to keep her safe. I’m sure there are a million other things he would’ve rather been doing for hours on a Sunday night, especially with a hangover. “Thanks, bro. I owe you one.”

He laughs, shutting his locker loudly enough to make me wince. “You have no idea how much you owe me.”

Alex walks into our homeroom, as I turn and head in the direction of Evie’s. It’s strange that she wouldn’t be at her locker, waiting for me. In spite of Alex’s brushoff, this is just another sign that she is, in fact, giving me the cold shoulder.

Peeking my head in the door to her homeroom, I see Mike, but no Evie. He gives me a little nod, acknowledging me, but when I raise an eyebrow and gesture to Evie’s empty desk, he simply shrugs. He obviously hasn’t seen her, either.

My heart starts thudding painfully in my chest, remembering the nightmares that plagued me last night. I don’t have them every night, anymore, but they still bother me a few times a week. Friday night, sleeping with Evie in my arms, was peaceful and dream free. Saturday night, I was blackout drunk and could have had a million bad dreams and wouldn’t remember. Last night, though, was exceptional. One right on top of the other, like the first week after her attack. I woke up covered in sweat, and barely made it to the bathroom in enough time to puke my brains out. I tried to convince myself that it was from all the alcohol I’d consumed and the hangover that just won’t quit, but now as the hairs on the back of my neck raise, I’m feeling like they were a harbinger of things to come.

I approach Evie’s locker slowly, trying to talk myself off the ledge. There are any number of reasons why she wouldn’t be here. I saw her car in the parking lot. I know she’s at school, somewhere. Maybe she’s down in the honors lounge, taking care of something for Honor Society. Maybe she’s in the band room, finishing up marching season stuff. Hell, maybe she’s in the guidance office, checking to see if she’s edged me out for Valedictorian, yet.

I can’t explain away the fact that she’s obviously mad at me, because no matter what Alex says, she always at least texts me goodnight. Evie knows how much I worry about her. She has every reason to be upset with me, though, and I’ll take the heat for my shitty behavior. I can’t apologize and start making it up to her, if I can’t find her, though.

When I step up to Jess, she hasn’t noticed me, yet, but Kerri has. I swear to God, I woke up in an alternate universe. Maybe I’m still passed out in an alcohol induced haze, because Kerri has never once looked at me like this, before. When I raise an eyebrow in silent question, she simply winks at me, blatantly ogles my crotch and raises her eyebrows like she’s happy with what she sees. My stomach rolls, again, for good measure. I have no fucking clue what that’s all about, but now isn’t the time to find out. I have a mission. Find and kiss the hell out of Evie.

“Hey, Jess. Have you seen…”  I don’t even get the whole question out before she slaps me. Slaps me right across the fucking face.

My head is spinning, my cheek stings like it’s being attacked by fire ants, and I have no idea what just happened, here. “What the fuck, Jess?”

“If you ever go near Evie, again, I swear to God, I will rip your cheating dick off myself.”  She slams her locker and storms off, leaving me gaping at the air in front of my eyes.

Wait. What?

Chapter 28

Eva

              I’ve successfully managed to avoid Rob for the last two weeks. It hasn’t been easy, because God knows he is a stubborn fucking jock. Not to mention that Alex and Mike have been equally relentless in their pursuit to get me to at least hear him out. Jess and Lys have my back, though, and I wouldn’t have been able to get through this without them, in all honesty. They’ve been running interference at school, and it was Alyssa who blocked Rob on my phone and on the net when Jess told her what happened at lunch that day. Lys actually screamed at Jeremy for being friends with such a douchebag. Her poor boyfriend fled in terror. I think they’ve been at odds ever since, which only makes me feel shittier about it all.

Now that basketball season has started, Jess has enlisted Ashton’s help with keeping Rob and his boys away from me outside of school, at the expense of their time together. Even Chase, God love him, has threatened to beat Rob’s ass should he come within twenty feet of me. He actually told Alex that he’d take on all three of them at once, if they didn’t leave me alone. He’s honestly so angry on my behalf, that I think he’s gone out on a limb and called in favors to enlist help in an effort to make sure the guys know he means business. It makes me feel intensely guilty for believing at the beginning of the year that they were only friends of convenience.

They are loyal to a fault.

              Now, Kerri has been another story, entirely. I suspect that even if her locker weren’t right next to mine, and even if she didn’t sit directly behind me in homeroom, she would still find a way to rub my face in what happened, every chance she gets. Honestly, the first time she decided to rub my nose in it within earshot of Mike, I thought his head was going to explode. Never in my life have I seen him so angry. Never have I heard him threaten bodily harm to a woman, before.

              When Kerri went on as though she hadn’t heard a word he’d said, he actually rushed out of homeroom, ignoring the calls from Mrs. Romano to return to his seat. He wound up with detention that afternoon.

              Even CJ, Gena, and Margie are in on it. Not that any of my friends rushed into the diner to spread the news, because they’re trying to keep my embarrassment on the downlow. No, I only have myself to blame for my coworkers knowing what happened. I was stupidly unable to control myself after walking in on CJ and Gena making out in the stockroom. I hadn’t even known they were together, but when I saw his hands cupping her face and the way he was fucking her mouth with his tongue, I burst into tears. I simply couldn’t help it.

              Even worse, it took them a good half hour to calm me down. I’d been trying to stop myself from dwelling on it, but it was like a dam bursting, and the events of that night just suddenly overwhelmed me and came pouring out. I’ve never felt so ashamed. I’m not a drama queen. I don’t let people get to me that way. But, yeah. That night, sitting in the kitchen of the diner, I was the emotional teenager who’d had her stupid fucking heart broken, and bawled her eyes out to her coworkers.

              CJ went ballistic. Gena had to start kissing him again to calm him down, which only made me cry harder. Poor Margie seemed caught between her desire to comfort and protect me, and her loyalty to Rob. I had to convince her that I don’t want anyone taking sides.

              Because I don’t. There are no sides to take.

              This was bound to happen. I knew it. Kerri knew it. Rob tried to deny it.

In the end, his baser male need for physical gratification won out. I knew damn well that I had tricked myself into believing anything else. Just as I was starting to come to terms with it, and seriously think about setting him free, he made the decision for me. I can’t even really be upset with him for it. He’d tried for so long to hold back. If he weren’t such an amazing human being, he would’ve been using me for his pleasure. He just didn’t think I could handle it, and I know that’s fair. I’ve known all along that I’m the truly fucked up one, wanting things that anyone else in my situation would absolutely shy away from. Maybe if we hadn’t been crushing on each other for the last three years, we would’ve given up sooner. I think we were both attached to some unrealistic fantasy, blinded by years of seemingly unrequited want. Then, there’s the whole concept of feeling responsible for one another after my attack, and the stupidly romantic notion of being bound by shared tragedy.

But, dammit, did it really have to be Kerri? I think I’d be handling this better if it were anyone else. Anyone else wouldn’t feel the need to remind me of it several times a day, and speak of it in enough graphic detail to warrant verbal porn. For that, I am angry with him.

She continues to make me suffer every single day. You can just see by the look in her eyes that she enjoys it. I grew to dislike her over the years, but I never pegged her for a sadist until now.

No matter how much I try to block out her words, or how often Jess threatens to maim her, she is relentless. The constant jabs about how he screamed her name when he came, about how the rumors aren’t true, his dick is actually bigger than first reported, about how she’s never had a better, more intense orgasm in her life are slowly crushing me. Kind of hard to get over past events when they keep getting shoved in your face.

It’s like she’s trying to make sure that I can’t even look at Rob. And oh, is it working. In the past two weeks of school, I genuinely cannot even gaze in his direction. He’s been thankfully silent in all of our shared classes. I know if I have to hear his voice I’m going to lose it. Instead of hearing him answer a question about covalent bonding, all I’m going to hear is him screaming her name.

I haven’t been to a single basketball game, even though I’m supposedly in pep band. There’s no way I could bear to watch his large hands handle the ball, knowing that those same hands had been all over Kerri’s naked body.

One thing that surprises me in all this is the lack of rumors. No one has said a word about Rob and Kerri’s affair. The way she’s been so vocal about it to me, I figured she’d be shouting about their hot, steamy sex at the top of her lungs to the whole school. I have no idea if he’s said anything to anyone about it. Surely, at least his teammates know, but I guess everyone is keeping it from getting back to my ears out of a sense of pity. I hate pity.

It all really goes a long way to explaining my zombie-like state the past few weeks.

Might also be the reason why I don’t notice the blue Mustang sitting next to my rusty Corolla in the parking lot of the diner as I leave for the night. Could have something to do with why I never told anyone I was leaving, and now find myself staring at a completely defeated looking Rob Falls.

“Evie, please. Can we talk?”  I barely even recognize his voice. He looks as awful as he did the first day I came back to school after Jackson attacked me. The same dark circles ring his blue-green eyes, his hair is an unkempt mess, his expression looks haggard and exhausted. Even his muscular shoulders seem to slump under an invisible weight. I vaguely wonder how he’s been playing basketball several nights a week since this all went down. He’s still wearing his sweaty uniform, seemingly impervious to the frigid winter air.

I throw a glance at the doors to the diner over my shoulder, slowly becoming aware that it’s only a matter of time until CJ comes looking for me. Whatever else has happened, I really don’t want to be the reason that he and Rob get into another fistfight. “Make it fast, before CJ catches you out here.”

He laughs darkly, running a hand through his sandy hair. “I’ve been out here every night that you’ve worked, waiting for him to slip up. I knew he would, eventually.”

“He didn’t. I did. I didn’t tell anyone I left.”  I don’t want to fight with him, but I can’t help the angry tone of my voice. The idea that he thinks he’s better than CJ at watching out for me just pisses me off.

“Evie, I wish you’d be more careful.”  He reaches an unsteady hand for me, forcing me to step away. Funny how his large, gentle hands seem unclean after being all over her in the way that I’d wanted for myself.

“And I wish you’d stuck your dick in anyone other than Kerri Peters, but we can’t all get what we want, can we?”  Honestly, if it had been anyone else...

“I never slept with her.”  His voice is firm, unwavering. His eyes have turned a steady shade of green, and he gazes at me, unblinking. “Hell, I never even touched her!”

“Really? Wow, she’s a hell of a liar, then, because I’ve heard all about it every day for the past two weeks.”  I so do not want to be here, having this conversation, right now. I would actually rather be in Calculus, and that’s saying something.

“She is lying. I swear to you, honey. I would never do that to you. I love you.”  His voice breaks, and hell, he’s a better actor than I’ll ever be.

That’s the last straw, though. As much as I’ve been willing to admit that we were never going to work, and tried to not fault him for being a red-blooded, horny teenage male, keeping in mind that I owe him so much, his words tip me over the edge. I march up to him with a confidence that I haven’t felt in weeks, jamming my fingernail as hard as I can into his chest. The vicious part of me is what keeps me afloat when life tries to drown me. Though I’ve been trying to suppress this side of my personality, it comes roaring out now with a vengeance. “Yeah? You have a fucking funny way of showing it.”  

He blinks at me, my poke not doing nearly enough damage, so I push him as hard as I can with both hands and all my weight behind me. “You love me? You love me? You love me the way a brother loves a sister. The way friends love each other.”

He cuts me off, grabbing my arms to stay my attack. “No! I love you the way a man loves a woman! I love you so much that when you’re not with me, I can’t breathe! I love you so much that I nearly died when I thought you had! I love you so much that I haven’t even noticed other women since you knocked me down in the hall that first day we met!”

“Well, I don’t love you.”  If this is what it takes to make him let go of his guilt and feelings of responsibility towards me, to finally walk away and leave me the hell alone, then so be it.

He doesn’t try to pull me closer, just keeps his hands holding me still, but I know the look in his eyes as he gazes down at me will stay with me forever. It’s firm, unyielding. His creepy mood eyes, a kaleidoscope of color. Where I used to think I saw only honesty, now all I see are lies. “Yes, you do. I know you do. And not just as a friend, either. If you didn’t love me the way I love you, you wouldn’t care who I stuck my dick in.”

“I thought you said you didn’t sleep with Kerri?”

“I. Didn’t.”

Sighing, I step away from him, the fight gone out of me. It doesn’t matter, anyway, and I’m tired of his lies. Rob’s an honorable kind of guy. Maybe if I can just trap him, get him to admit what he’s done, he’ll have no choice but to leave and never look back. “Yeah? Well, it’s her word against yours, Rob. It’s not like you can prove it.”

He heaves a deep sigh, closing his eyes and dropping his chin to his chest. “Yes, I can.”

I’m sorry. What? Unable to help the incredulous laughter that pours out of my throat, I quickly slap a hand over my mouth to stem the flow. “Don’t be ridiculous! You can’t possibly prove that you didn’t fuck her.”

“I can’t, alright!”  His voice explodes into the night air, reverberating through the darkness.

It’s only a matter of time until CJ comes tearing out of those doors, now. There’s no way that everyone inside didn’t hear Rob’s shout. “Exactly. You can’t. So, now, let’s just agree to go our separate ways, and leave it at that.”

I turn to walk away and get in my car before a brawl breaks out in this parking lot, but Rob grabs my hand pulling me back to him, tears welling in his eyes that won’t quite meet mine. “No, you don’t understand, Evie. I can’t. I can’t fuck anyone. Not even you.”

He blinks, a few streams of saline trailing down his stubble covered cheeks, before closing his eyes altogether as I gape up at him, stunned. “I know you said you think I’ve been jerking off, instead of being with you, but I can’t even do that. I didn’t know you were waiting on me to make the first move, and I’m sorry. I really didn’t think you were ready for anything like that, so that’s why I haven’t told you.”

“Told me what?”  My whispered words come out in puffs of warm white, a stark contrast to the cold, dark air that threatens to swallow us both whole.

He opens his mouth to answer, but my attention is diverted to the sound of the diner doors slamming against the walls.

“Get your hands off of her, you worthless piece of shit!”  I look over my shoulder at CJ tearing towards us at full speed, hatred rolling off him in waves.

Quickly turning back to Rob, I push his chest gently. “Just go. Get out of here. He will maul you, right now, and I know he won’t stop until you’re on the ground. Just go, Rob.”

But, it’s too late. CJ is already here, ripping me from Rob’s tenuous grasp. He cocks his fist back, forcing me to stand between them. I just pray to God he won’t hit me in his rage.

“CJ, it’s fine. We were just talking. Rob’s leaving. Now.”  I turn a pointed glance to Rob as tears continue to track down his face.

CJ is struggling to get past me and at Rob, who is still unmoving. Begging is my only option, now. “Please, Rob. I don’t need this, right now. Just go.”

“What’s the matter, pretty boy? Can’t have your cake and eat it, too, so you’re gonna pretend to be a pansy ass and cry to win her back? She fucking deserves a real man, not a poser like you.”