Secretly Hers (Sterling Canyon) (18 page)

“I know.” Not only hadn’t Kelsey known about his wealth until five minutes ago, she also still hadn’t asked him how much he had, which proved she had no plans to take him to the cleaners. “Let’s drop the whole thing, except for the fact that now you can relax about whether or not you end up with that big commission.”

Her nose wrinkled. “Not really. It’s great that you’re willing to draw from your trust for our child, but it’s
your
money. You throw yourself off cliffs for a living, so what if something happens to you? My career—and deals like Wade’s—are still important to me, and I’m going to fight you on this one until the bitter end. I have to be able to provide for myself and this baby because, bottom line, you and I aren’t married.”

The melancholy tone of her voice at the end of her diatribe sank in his gut like an anchor, making him ache. Married. It was what she’d most wanted. What, originally, he’d promised to help her achieve. And what he could not give her now.

Maybe not ever.

If only he could convince her that marriage wasn’t a panacea. That they could be great together without a piece of paper forcing them to be a couple. That, even if their relationship didn’t last forever, he’d make sure she was always taken care of.

“If something happens to me, then my trust funds will go directly to any and all of my children.” He squeezed her hand, unable to make more than a promise he
knew
he could keep. “I promise you, you’ll never have to worry about needing money to raise our child, okay?”

She barely looked at him as she forced a lame grin on her face. “Okay.”

Without saying more, she lifted the menu and hid her face. This time he didn’t make her put it down, because he couldn’t bear to see her so dejected.

“Do you know why Avery wanted us to all meet at my office before work?” Kelsey asked Emma while handing her a cup of coffee.

“Nope.” She shook her head. “But she sounded excited.”

Kelsey slid into her chair and sipped her decaffeinated drink, missing the high-octane version. To her right sat a copy of the blasted impact study that threatened her sale. She hated the possibility of losing the battle, but had worked all night to convince herself that being with Trip and having this baby were ultimately the more important prize. She was so close to having the life she’d dreamed about for so long. If only he’d put a ring on her finger and promise to love her forever.

“I hope, at eight weeks into this pregnancy, you’re not still experiencing morning sickness for too much longer.” Emma leaned forward, apparently interested in discussing the baby situation.

“At least it goes away by midday.” Kelsey rubbed her temple. “Lately it’s these headaches that are killing me. I think it must be caffeine withdrawal.”

“Maybe you should check with your doctor,” Emma suggested, then bit her lip before speaking again, her voice somewhat tentative. “Is Trip being helpful?”

Sure, if you don’t count him screwing up my career goals.

“He’s been surprisingly cute about everything. Making sure I’m eating right, helping do things around my house so I don’t have to stress or strain, buying all kinds of pregnancy stuff, acting excited about ‘junior’ instead of terrified or resentful, like I first expected.”

“So you’re happy?” Emma edged forward, her eyes wide with hope. “I mean, I know you’ve always wanted to be a mom, but I also know how much you really want to be a wife.”

“I’m not overthinking that part, at least not yet.” Kelsey took a long sip of coffee and avoided Emma’s gaze. Her friends knew her too well. Being a wife
had
been a lifelong priority, so of course she wanted to marry Trip, especially now that they were having a baby.

First, however, he’d actually have to declare his love for her—a milestone they hadn’t yet reached. And considering the way he was attacking the Copeland deal, maybe he didn’t care quite as much as she’d hoped. Maybe she’d never be able to read any man’s intentions right, not even Trip’s. Was she foolish to believe a freewheeler like Trip could commit? Maybe she shouldn’t go borrowing trouble. “I think all Trip needs is more time to adjust to all the changes.”

At that moment, Avery swept into the office wearing a smile as broad as the Grand Canyon. Without a word, she held her left hand up in the air and wiggled her ring finger.

“Oh my God!” Emma jumped up, her gaze fixed on the sparkling diamond ring now at home on Avery’s hand, and rocked Avery back and forth in a hug. “Oh my God, congratulations!”

Kelsey schooled her features, rose from her chair, and walked around her desk to join in the group hug. After easing away, Kelsey grabbed Avery’s hand, studying the ring: a round-cut diamond simply set in platinum. Probably somewhere between one-half and one carat in size. Very classic. Very Grey.

“I didn’t even know you guys were talking about marriage.” Kelsey mentally ripped apart the envy lacing her happiness for Avery. She smiled, although she couldn’t lie to herself and pretend it didn’t gall her that Avery, the girl who never wanted to be anyone’s wife, would be married before her. Avery, who’d kept Grey at arm’s length for months, was living out Kelsey’s dream of perfect romantic love and
she
wasn’t even pregnant!

“We weren’t. He totally surprised me yesterday afternoon.” Avery beamed as she recounted the details of Grey’s proposal. “We took Shaman on a hike, back to the place where we had our first official date. Then, out of the blue, Grey bent down on his good knee, all traditional, and asked me to be his wife.”

“And you said yes!” Kelsey shoved aside her petty envy and grabbed Avery again, bouncing a bit on her toes. After all, she’d always been a sucker for romance. “Finally you’ve joined the rest of the world in believing in love. This calls for a big celebration! Jeez, Ave, why in the heck did you choose now to share this news? I’ve got a full plate today.”

“Sorry! I was just so excited, and I didn’t want to risk you guys hearing it on the street before I had a chance to tell you.” Avery smiled and looked at her own hand again before clasping it in the other and bringing them to her chest.

Avery had succumbed to love. If
Avery
could be swayed, then so could Trip. That thought prompted a little jolt of excitement.

“Can I ask what changed your mind about marriage?” Kelsey leaned against the edge of her desk and crossed her arms, waiting for the key she needed to unlock Trip’s heart and drive out his reservations. “You pretty much swore you’d never be anyone’s wife.”

Avery shrugged. “I don’t know. Grey’s different. He lets me be who I am without trying to change me. I trust him.”

Kelsey frowned. Avery’s answers were too darn generic to be helpful. “When did you know that you wanted
only him
for the rest of your life?”

Avery cocked her head, looking thoughtful. She tapped a finger to her lips before glancing at Emma and Kelsey. “Maybe when he helped Andy with the prosecutor even after my family and I hurt him? I don’t really know. It’s not like something suddenly hit me over the head. I didn’t even expect the proposal, but I also didn’t hesitate to say yes. “

“You two make an awesome couple. I can’t wait for the wedding.” Emma clapped excitedly. “Can I bake the wedding cake?”

“Of course!” Avery laughed.

“Chocolate hazelnut cake with buttercream icing, right?” Emma smiled, knowing Avery’s favorite dessert.

“Perfect.” Avery glanced at her watch, then her ring finger, then her friends. “Well, hate to dash, but I’ve got a patient in ten minutes. Maybe we can get together for dinner this week?”

“Sounds great,” Kelsey replied.

The friends hugged again before Avery exited the office. Kelsey wistfully watched Avery jog down the street and then sighed.

“Are you okay?” Emma approached and placed her arm around Kelsey’s shoulder.

“Of course.” Kelsey patted Emma’s hand before shrugging out of her grasp.

Emma tipped her head. “You can be honest with me, you know. I’ve known you my whole life. Don’t tell me some part of you doesn’t wish you were in Avery’s shoes now, especially with a baby on the way.”

“Naturally I’d prefer being married to being a single mom. But I’m happy for Avery and Grey. I swear I am.” She really was, despite the brief appearance of the green-eyed monster.

“I know. I only hope their engagement doesn’t have some negative impact on you and Trip, especially since you two are doing well.”

“No worries. If anything, Avery’s news makes me more optimistic, not less.” When Emma frowned at Kelsey in confusion, she continued. “If Grey could convince Avery to get married, surely I can convince Trip. No one was less romantic than Avery. Not even Trip!”

Emma shot Kelsey a concerned look. “Oh, Kelsey. Don’t get your hopes up. Trip may be accepting responsibility for you and the baby, but that doesn’t mean he’ll do an about-face on his whole life’s philosophy. You can’t expect that, especially not so soon.”

“Life philosophy? No. I think he’s just afraid of love.” She nodded, as if convincing Emma somehow meant she’d win the war for his heart. “Afraid of getting hurt because he hasn’t experienced a lot of unconditional love. Once I prove that I won’t hurt him, he’ll propose.”

“And is that what you want?” Emma pinned her with an openly questioning gaze. “You always talk in the abstract about babies and family and marriage, but do you
love
Trip? Because, honestly, that’s the only reason you should want to marry him.”

Kelsey’s skin tightened under Emma’s scrutiny. She closed her eyes, embarrassed. “I know I’m probably foolish to have fallen for him, but I have. He’s sexy and surprisingly sweet, strong and willful, fun and sentimental, even if he doesn’t see it. But I haven’t shared my feelings with him yet, at least, not in so many words.”

“So I take it he hasn’t told you he loves you, either.” Emma’s face filled with empathy.

“He hasn’t, but he acts like he loves me. He’s always buying me little gifts, which means he’s thinking about me a lot. He worships me in bed. He’d already given up other women before he even knew about the baby. And he beat Mason to a pulp over me.” Kelsey looked at Emma, seeking confirmation. “Don’t those sound like the actions of a man in love?”

Emma’s skeptical expression spoke volumes. “Well, it sounds like he’s got volatile emotions. Maybe he loves you, but shouldn’t it be easier for both of you to talk about it? I mean, isn’t that what healthy couples do?”

“Heck if I know, Emma. When’s the last time you saw me in a healthy relationship?”

Emma reached for Kelsey’s hands and squeezed them. “Even if he loves you, Kels, that doesn’t mean he’ll ever believe in marriage. I know you think he can be turned around, like Avery. But what if you’re wrong?”

Kelsey’s brain shut down. Honestly, she couldn’t conceive of any person intentionally pushing away love. Surely Trip had convinced himself of this “marriage never works” attitude in order to make sense of the circumstances of his own messed up family . . . his very existence. Once he spent time around loving families and couples, his silly fears would fade.

Kelsey nodded to herself, and then met Emma’s sympathetic gaze. “I’m not wrong.”

Chapter Seventeen

Dusk settled as Trip followed Kelsey onto Maura’s front porch, where he could hear muted conversation and melodies emanating from behind the closed door. The last time he’d climbed these steps carrying a bouquet of flowers, things hadn’t gone so well.

Tonight could be worse.

Across the threshold he’d be facing her parents’ closest friends and family, all of whom had been invited to celebrate their thirty-fifth wedding anniversary. He’d bet his entire trust fund that his and Kelsey’s “situation” would draw unwanted attention and questions, especially now that Avery and Grey had gotten engaged. Nervous anticipation curdled in his stomach, making him wish they could ditch the party altogether.

At least they’d managed to set aside their differences about Wade’s plans since Tuesday rather than fight while awaiting the outcome. But that part of her future was less critical to her, and to her family, than this part—the family part. Trouble here could make everything between Kelsey and him fall to pieces.

“Ready?” Kelsey brushed her hand along his arm. Her golden hair glowed beneath the soft porch light, the tip of her nose rosy from the bite of cold air. She looked stunning, dressed up in a plum-colored ensemble and a brave smile. It still surprised him; the way his heart stuttered each time their eyes met. Her grace under pressure, however, didn’t surprise him.

After taking an extra second to admire her, he followed her lead and faked a smile despite entering the gauntlet. “Let’s go.”

They’d barely stepped into the entry when a petite, blond Tasmanian devil in a ruffled yellow dress and white tights galloped toward them, shoeless.

“Aunt Kelsey!” Fee skidded before colliding with Kelsey’s legs, hugging them until her little face turned crimson. Then she turned her wide eyes up at Trip. “Hi!”

He squatted and tweaked her chin. “Hey there, pretty girl. Twirl around so I can see the whole dress.” Her tiny-toothed smile perked him up, as did the quick spin she excitedly performed. “Well, it’s
almost
as lovely as you.”

She giggled and grabbed Kelsey’s hand. “Meemaw and Pops get all the presents tonight, huh?”

“Yes, they do. Thirty-five years of marriage is a big deal, right?”

Fee shrugged, clearly unimpressed by the milestone. “As long as I get cake.”

“Don’t worry,” Kelsey assured. “I’ll make sure you get the biggest piece.”

Just then Maura spotted Kelsey and Trip still standing near the front door, where Fee had them cornered. She beelined toward them and placed her hands on Fee’s shoulders. “Well, hello, you two.” She kissed Kelsey’s cheek and offered Trip a look he could only describe as resigned. “Welcome, Trip. Guess congratulations are in order for you, too, right?”

“Thanks.” He wrapped his arm around Kelsey’s shoulders, partly because he wanted to touch her, and partly because he wanted to show her family their solidarity. “We’re real excited.”

“About what?” Fee asked.

“About the baby,” Trip answered. When Kelsey’s elbow poked his side, he realized too late that the family had intentionally withheld the information from Fee.

“What baby?” Fee asked, turning her face up toward her mom. “What baby, Mommy?”

Maura sent a sharp glance in Trip’s direction before faking a smile at her daughter. “Aunt Kelsey is having a baby.”

“Like you?” Fee’s eyes widened in shock, then, when turning toward Kelsey, her pale brows pulled together. “But how can you be a mommy if you’re not married?”

“I . . . uh.” Kelsey cringed. Under other circumstances, the sheer astonishment of seeing Kelsey at a loss for words might’ve made Trip chuckle. He stifled the urge in order to avoid a consequence more painful than a simple elbow to the ribs.

“Fee, honey, we can talk about all that later. Let’s let Aunt Kelsey and Trip come in and enjoy the party.” After exchanging a quick glance with her sister, Maura gestured toward the rear of the home. “Mom and Dad are in the living room.”

“Thanks.” Kelsey took two steps and scanned the candlelit home, her gaze moving from the gleaming silver trays lining the dining table to the fresh flowers scattered in glass vases throughout the space. Frank Sinatra’s indelible crooning enhanced the nostalgic mood of the party.

Cozy, like a lot of things Trip noticed about the Callihan clan. A marked difference from the crystal-laden reception Deb had thrown for her and his father’s thirtieth anniversary, complete with eight-piece band, Beluga caviar, and one hundred of their “closest friends.”

However, the ambience also suggested the entire Callihan family indulged romantic sentiments just like Kelsey, as if they could make their real life as enchanting as a Hollywood love story. It worried Trip—Kelsey’s illusions of love—making him question her ability to be happy in a less-than-perfect relationship with a notoriously less-than-perfect man.

Kelsey grasped Maura’s forearm. “Looks great, sis. Don’t forget to tell me my share of the catering bill.”

“I will, don’t worry.” Maura turned toward Trip, her polite smile almost masking her annoyance with his recent gaffe. “The bar is in the dining room. I’ve got to go check on the caterers, if you’ll excuse me.” She tugged on Fee’s curls. “Come help Mommy, okay?”

“Can I have a cookie from that big tray in the kitchen?” Fee clapped her hands together in prayer.

“After dinner,” Maura said.

Fee frowned but dutifully followed her mother, skating along the wood floor in her tights.

“Well, that was awkward.” Kelsey wrinkled her nose while Trip took her purse and coat to hang in the hall closet.

“One down, many to go.” Trip sighed. “Guess we can’t avoid the firing squad forever.”

Kelsey slapped his arm. “Who knew a guy who defies death on a daily basis could be so fearful of my parents and their old cronies?”

Who knew, indeed?

Feigning the confidence that had deserted him on the front porch, he smirked. “Lead on, princess.”

When she stepped ahead of him, he pinched her behind. She swatted his hand. “Honestly, I think we both know this isn’t the time or place for your games. Can you stop acting like a teenage boy and please help me convince my parents we aren’t making the biggest mistake of our lives?”

Remorse twisted through him with the sharp sting of a paper cut. He should’ve pushed Kelsey to get them all together
before
this big party. He’d been so consumed with his own discomfort, he hadn’t given much thought to hers, or theirs, until that moment.

As they breezed past the dining room, he looked longingly at the makeshift bar.

“Let’s say hi to my folks, first,” Kelsey said when she noticed him hesitate. “Then you can run back here for liquid courage.”

“I don’t need courage,” he grumbled. Yet his mouth did feel damn dry.

At the far corner of the living room, just beyond the archway, Mr. and Mrs. Callihan stood, surrounded by several older people. Mrs. Callihan, an attractive blonde like her daughters, was telling a story when Mr. Callihan glanced over and noticed Trip and Kelsey’s arrival. Although Trip had met the man months ago at Kelsey’s birthday dinner, his broad chest and dark brows looked more menacing than Trip recalled.

The older man’s faltering smile suggested he was almost as uncomfortable greeting Trip as Trip felt about seeing him. And now both had to playact in front of an audience.

The swelling pressure at the base of Trip’s skull intensified with each step toward the group until Kelsey grabbed his hand and squeezed. Like a warm bath after a cold day on the slopes, her gentle touch soothed.

When they reached the circle of adults, Kelsey excused their intrusion before hugging her parents. “Congratulations, Mom and Dad. You set a high bar for the rest of us.”

Trip maintained a friendly smile despite being raked by a dozen curious eyes. He extended the bouquet toward Mrs. Callihan. “Happy anniversary, Mrs. Callihan.”

Unlike Kelsey’s dad, her mother’s natural warmth shone through her stilted demeanor as she accepted his small gift. “Thank you. It’s nice to see you again.”

“You, too. You look lovely tonight.” Trip then turned and extended his hand toward Kelsey’s dad. “Mr. Callihan, congratulations.”

Mr. Callihan’s tight-lipped expression and firm handshake confirmed Trip’s suspicions. The man didn’t trust him. In fact, he probably resented the hell out of him, considering Kelsey was knocked up and Trip hadn’t proposed.

“Trip,” Kelsey began, in a valiant effort to act perfectly normal, “this is my Aunt Winnie and Uncle Lou, my parents’ neighbors, Jim and Sally, and my dad’s longtime colleague and his wife, Bill and Pat. Everyone, this is Trip.”

Trip shook everyone’s hands, then snaked an arm around Kelsey’s waist and braced for a bunch of questions.

“Nice to meet you, son.” Uncle Lou sipped what appeared to be whiskey. “So where are you from?”

“I grew up in Denver, then spent my twenties working in various resorts across the northwest up to Alaska.”

Jim interrupted, “Our son, Tim, worked at Alyeska in 2010 and 2011. Know him?”

Seriously?
“I actually worked for a heli-ski outfit up there, not at a resort. I was already gone by 2011, sorry.”

“Surely you won’t do that dangerous kind of skiing now, with the baby coming?” Kelsey’s aunt asked once she’d quit gaping.

Mr. Callihan’s gaze homed in on Trip, making him wish he’d stopped at the bar before facing his executioners. Perhaps it was better to address the elephant in the room sooner rather than later. But the nervous cone of silence that enveloped their little group pushed him center stage, transforming him into a young kid who suddenly forgot all the lines of the school play.

Mrs. Callihan tossed a perturbed glance at Aunt Winnie.

Kelsey gently rubbed Trip’s back, reassuring him while pleasantly smiling at the group. Hell, if she could brazen through, so could he. After clearing his throat, he finally replied, “Gotta work so I can help support Kelsey and our baby.”

“Don’t mind Winnie.” Uncle Lou swirled his glass, ice cubes clinking against its sides. “She’s just looking out for her niece, and eager for any excuse to talk about babies . . . and weddings.”

Trip hadn’t noticed his ever-tightening hold on Kelsey’s waist until she wedged her thumb inside his grip. “Uncle Lou, we’re here to celebrate Mom and Dad, not talk about me. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we haven’t had a chance to say hi to Bill, or grab any of the yummy apps.”

Thank God she’d rescued him.

Weddings!

Winnie’s remark made a total of two unwed pregnancy comments within ten minutes of his arrival. He’d expected a couple of unsubtle hints, considering they were attending a milestone anniversary party. But at this rate, he’d be tarred and feathered by eight o’clock.

Once they’d ducked into the dining room and out of her parents’ sight, he gave Kelsey a quick peck on the cheek. “I need a drink. What can I get you?”

She sighed, and only then did he notice both the strain and distance in her eyes. “Seltzer, please. I’m going to see how I can help Maura. Be right back.”

When she meandered toward the kitchen, his stomach started to burn.

“Hey, Trip. Hiding out from the preacher?” Bill stood behind the bar, cutting extra lemons and limes.

Preacher? A cold sweat broke out beneath Trip’s clothes. His muscles seized up, his throat tightened. “Pardon me?”

“Just kiddin’!” Bill chuckled and then poured himself a drink. “You oughta see your face right now.”

Embarrassed and annoyed, Trip drew a deep breath. Tonight he couldn’t offend Kelsey’s family or stick his foot in his mouth with his typical sarcasm. For better or worse, he had to forge relationships with these folks for junior’s sake, and for Kelsey’s.

“You got me,” Trip conceded. He glanced at the grandfather clock in the entry. Only seven twenty. Good Lord, it would be a long night.

By nine thirty, Trip gulped down his third scotch of the evening, weary from the duck-and-cover game he’d been playing to avoid direct questions about his and Kelsey’s plans for the future. “Hell if I know” probably wouldn’t have gone over very well with this crowd.

He stared into the bottom of his empty glass, frowning. What he
did
know was precious little. A, Kelsey enthralled him like no other woman ever had. B, no doubt he couldn’t have lucked into a better mother for his child. C, he’d never planned on having children, and although he had every intention of being the best father he could, he wasn’t all that convinced his best would be good enough. D, sooner or later Kelsey would start pressuring him for a more permanent commitment, and then what?

Tonight he’d observed a dozen or so happy couples of various ages engage with each other. All but one seemed genuinely happy. He’d noted affectionate touches, loving glances, gentlemanly gestures, secret whispers—all the while questioning the truth behind their actions. Like an alien plopped into the middle of a culture he’d never much experienced, he couldn’t quite believe what he saw.

Although his mother had casually dated, she hadn’t brought men into their home, so he’d never seen her in a serious romantic relationship. His father’s marriage wasn’t openly affectionate, although he suspected his dad and Deb shared an active sex life, if for no other reason than Deb’s determination that he not stray from her bed again. Mason and his wife, well, he’d barely been around them enough to make a fair judgment, but the divorce confirmed his suspicions.

Even if Trip
were
certain he was falling in love with Kelsey, did it follow that marriage would make them happier? Seemed to him half of all married couples divorced, and the other half mostly complained about each other and had less sex than when they’d been dating. With stats like that, why muck up a good thing?

Just then he heard Kelsey’s feminine giggle from across the room. She’d been a perfect cohost for her sister, balancing her time between entertaining guests, helping to direct the caterers, and looking after Fee and Ty when needed.

A force of nature at times, yet tender and soft at others—a five-thousand-piece puzzle with no picture for guidance.