Secrets of the Wolves (41 page)

It was so silent in the gathering place I could hear Tlitoo rustling his wings. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“But we’re the ones who are supposed to be with the humans,” I tried again. “Everything the Greatwolves have told us was wrong. We’re
supposed
to be with the humans.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ruuqo said. “That was a long time ago. The Greatwolves are responsible for the humans now, and for us. We must follow their will, or die.”

I shook my head, trying to clear it. It was as if once they’d made up their minds, they couldn’t hear anything that didn’t confirm what they wanted to believe was true. Torell had told me that Ruuqo and Rissa were weak, and I’d told him he was wrong.

“Even if we weren’t the ones to take care of the humans, we wouldn’t have to join Milsindra,” Ázzuen said reasonably. “We can get plenty of auroch and elkryn meat, and Pirra and Sonnen will never attack us if the Stone Peaks stand with us.”

“And we’re succeeding,” I said. I tried to sound as reasonable as Ázzuen did, but my voice shook. “We’re bringing the best meat we’ve ever had. We can bring more now that we can hunt aurochs with the humans. We can show that Zorindru was right and can help him win against Milsindra. If we do, if Zorindru wins the council, we won’t have to worry about Milsindra.”

The leaderwolves said nothing. They just looked at us sympathetically.

“You decided a long time ago,” Marra whispered. “It’s what you wanted all along.” I looked at her. I was surprised that she had been so silent until now. She was usually the first one to try to reason with the pack, to get them to see things her way. Now she was shaking with fury.

“We thought from the beginning that it was the right thing to do,” Ruuqo agreed, “but didn’t know if Milsindra would really allow us the opportunity. It’s a better chance than we could have hoped for. You will cease your hunts with the humans and allow the Greatwolves to take over guarding them. You will avoid the humans, as you should have done all along.”

“I can’t,” I said. “I promised Zorindru. And Frandra and Jandru. And I can’t leave TaLi. And you promised, too. You can’t go back on your word. It’s wrong.”

“We must do what is best for the pack, Kaala,” Rissa said. “We must do what is best for the pack and best for wolfkind. We believe that Frandra and Jandru were wrong to let you stay with the humans, and that we were wrong to follow them.”

I heard what she didn’t say. That she thought Jandru and Frandra were wrong to spare my life when I was a smallpup.

“You are pack,” she said. “You are a Swift River youngwolf, and we supported you at risk to the entire pack because of that. Now we have a duty to the valley and to save our pack. We will honor that duty.”

“But what if Milsindra and Kivdru are lying to you?” I said desperately. “They lied before.”

“They have admitted their mistake in doing so,” Ruuqo said. “They believed it was necessary in order to protect us. Now they are allowing us to take part in the decision.”

“It’s just wrong,” I said again. I remembered what Torell had said about giving up what one believed in for the promise of safety.

“It’s dishonorable,” Marra spat. “It’s shameful. It makes you no better than a grub finder.”

“The decision has been made,” Ruuqo said again.

“Grub finders,” Tlitoo grumbled from his rock.

I felt so helpless I wanted to howl. I’d failed. I had assured Jandru and Frandra that I would gain my pack’s support, and they had challenged Milsindra based on that promise. Zorindru had placed his trust in me, and I had failed him, too. I wanted to argue more, to speak against the pack’s decision, but I was afraid that if I opened my mouth, nothing but a whimper would come out.

“And if we don’t stop hunting with the humans?” Ázzuen asked. I was grateful to him for speaking up. “If we stay with them, what then?”

“You may stay with us and join us in this alliance,” Ruuqo said. “Or you may choose to leave.”

There it was, plain and simple. I had not thought they would state it so unabashedly. As if we had been given a choice between two perfectly sensible options. As if it were reasonable to betray everything that the Swift River pack had stood for.

“Will you give us romma if we leave?” Marra asked, jutting out her muzzle, as no youngwolf should do to a leaderwolf.

“We cannot,” Ruuqo said. “If you fail to follow the rules of the pack, we cannot give you romma. If you stay with us, and follow our rules, then yes, you are all strong youngwolves and deserving of romma.”

“We want you to stay,” Rissa said. “We wish you would stay. We will need your help raising the new year’s pups, as Yllin and Minn helped raise you. It will be difficult to feed them without you.

“Yllin died because of your actions,” Werrna rumbled. “You owe us help with the new pups.”

“They have the right to their own decisions, Werrna,” Rissa said sharply. Maybe she really thought she was doing the right thing.

“Will you help Milsindra and Kivdru kill us?” Marra asked, her voice bitter.

“Of course not,” Rissa said. “We insisted Milsindra agree to let you leave the valley unharmed, Kaala. You and any who would go with you.”

“Like they let Yllin leave?” I asked. “They said she could go.”

“We have told them our cooperation is dependent upon it,” Ruuqo said. “So did Sonnen. He respects you, Kaala, even though he disagrees with you. And Milsindra just wants you out of her way.”

“I’ll bet she does,” Ázzuen muttered.

“Think about it, youngwolves,” Rissa said. “We would like to have all three of you stay with the pack, but we’ll leave the New Cache meat for you, in case you decide to leave the valley.”

Rissa and Ruuqo, then Werrna and Minn touched their noses to our cheeks, as they had done a hundred times before, as if today were no different from any other time we had parted, as if they were not leaving us to choose between the pack that had raised us and the promise we had made, as if it might not be the last time we were together as pack. Then they left us.

The cool evening breeze ruffled the fur between my ears. I was aware of Ázzuen and Marra watching me, waiting for me to decide what to do. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tlitoo crouched on slightly bent legs, as if ready to take flight from the fallen spruce. I could only stand there, staring at the gap in the trees through which our pack had left. I was never sure we could win against Milsindra and Kivdru—I knew the risks we were taking. But I had always assumed that Ruuqo and Rissa would do the right thing, that Swift River pack was different from other packs, and that even if we made mistakes or failed, we would always do what was honorable. Now I didn’t know what to believe. Those I depended upon most had betrayed me. Those I needed were no longer to be trusted.

Ázzuen scraped his paw in the dirt. “We have to change their minds,” he said. “Once they think about it, about the truth about the promise, they’ll change their minds.”

“They won’t,” Marra said, disgusted. “They think it’s safer to do what they’re told. We have to find another way.”

I looked at the two of them. Not everyone I trusted had betrayed me. I remembered what I had seen when Tlitoo had shown me Ruuqo’s memories—how he had looked at Rissa when at last she was his, how he would do anything to protect her.

“No, they won’t change their minds,” I said.

Tlitoo flew from the spruce to land next to me.

“So what now, wolflet? Stay here and whine?”

I didn’t know what now. I’d thought everything would be all right once I told the pack about the Greatwolves’ secret. Now I realized how naive I’d been. Rissa had said that Milsindra would allow us to leave with our humans. Not a moon ago that was all I wanted. I still wanted it.

“We still have the Stone Peaks,” Marra said when I remained silent.

“And the Lan tribe,” Ázzuen added. “We can try hunting with them.”

Their steadfastness made me ashamed of my own weakness. I couldn’t run away when they were so eager to continue the fight.

“I’ll go talk to NiaLi and Trevegg,” I said. “They may have some ideas of what to do.” The thought of their wisdom made me feel better.

Marra leapt to her feet. “I’ll go to the Lan tribe and get MikLan. The old woman can tell him what’s happening.”

“And I’ll tell the Stone Peaks,” Ázzuen said just as eagerly.

“Good,” I said, trying to match the enthusiasm in their voices. “Meet me back at NiaLi’s as soon as you can. Howl that you’ve found good hunting when you’re on your way.”

They darted off. I looked at them. I envied their certainty. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was making a mistake. If the reason the Greatwolves had taken over watching the humans was that we
were
too weak. I certainly felt like I was.

“I must go tell the raven clan, wolf.”

He took off without waiting for my answer. I took one last look at Fallen Tree. I wouldn’t be returning there. Then I took a deep breath and started toward NiaLi’s.

Indru’s rejuvenating effect on me was wearing off, and I was tired. I forced myself to run anyway; I didn’t know how much time we had. NiaLi’s new shelter was farther than I remembered from Fallen Tree, and my paw was hurting again. I slowed to a lope and then a walk. Finally I reached the tiny clearing that sheltered NiaLi’s home.

I knew immediately that something was wrong. NiaLi’s fire was out, and the scents of fear and anger seeped from the dwelling. I heard a deep-voiced shout and a higher-pitched shriek. Forgetting my fatigue, I bolted for the shelter. I dove under the preyskin at the shelter’s entrance, pulling myself into the old woman’s home on my belly.

At once, I saw three things. NiaLi lay crumpled in a heap next to her quenched fire, her neck bent at an unnatural angle and a deep slash oozing blood from her neck. She wasn’t breathing. Trevegg stood growling in front of TaLi, protecting the girl as she hunched weeping over her grandmother. And DavRian stood over them both, his bloody spear raised.

I should have killed him when I had the chance.

The shelter was small, giving me little room to maneuver and no chance to get a running start. I leapt at DavRian just as he brought down his sharpstick in a vicious sweep, cutting deeply into Trevegg’s chest and stomach. The oldwolf screamed and fell to his side, his legs kicking frantically, running from an enemy he could not escape and then going still. His breath began to come in short, harsh gasps. DavRian raised his spear again, ready to plunge it into Trevegg. An instant later, I hit him full force, knocking him against the side of the shelter.

We have rules about killing. Packmates are always warned before they are badly injured or killed. But there are things that are unforgivable, including killing a packmate for no reason other than greed or anger. The promise said we could not kill any human unless in defense of our lives. It did not mean we had to stand by and watch a human kill. DavRian had murdered NiaLi and probably Trevegg, too. When a wolf goes crazy and kills other wolves, when he breaks the rules of life, he is to be killed. DavRian had lost his right to be protected by the promise.

I would have done it. I would have killed him, but he had moved just as I leapt, and I hit him at an awkward angle. He dropped his sharpstick and shoved me. I landed on my back, and DavRian kicked me hard in the ribs. I twisted away and prepared to leap again, but I was slowed by fatigue and pain. By the time I had gotten to my feet, he had reached over Trevegg, who tried to snap at his arm, and seized up TaLi, gripping her tightly to his chest. She struggled against him, grabbing at his head and kicking at any part of him she could reach. He shifted his grip so that he pinned her arms tight against him and squeezed her so hard that she cried out in pain. I wanted to kill him more than I’d wanted anything in my life, but I couldn’t get to his weak soft neck, because he held TaLi too close to it. Instead, I bit into his leg. His scream made my heart pound with the call to the hunt. His blood filled my mouth like the blood of any other prey, and I released his leg to bite the other. I saw the sharp stone blade the instant before it reached me. I twisted out of the way and the blade missed me. DavRian kicked me in the side of the head. I fell back, whimpering.

DavRian had let go of TaLi with one arm in order to attack me. The girl shrieked in fury, thrashing and fighting DavRian’s now one-armed grip. She drove her elbow up into his face, and he dropped her. She tried to scramble to her feet, but he kicked her brutally in the stomach. She doubled over, gasping, and groped around the old woman’s fire pit, seeking a weapon. As her fist closed around a large, sharp rock, DavRian grabbed his fallen spear and slammed the blunt end against TaLi’s head. She sagged to the ground. I got my feet under me and leapt for DavRian again. I was too slow, and he stepped aside as I reached him and threw me so hard against the side of the shelter that for precious moments, I couldn’t move. DavRian threw something over TaLi—it was the cloak he had given her and she had refused to wear—and picked her up.

I watched helplessly as he limped from the shelter, carrying her away. I tried twice to get to my feet and fell back, dizzy and nauseated. I had to go after them. I began to drag myself to the opening of the shelter. Then I realized that the labored breathing I heard was not my own. Trevegg was still alive. I dragged myself over to him and pressed my cheek to his.