Secrets to Keep (16 page)

Aidy wondered if Arch had twigged by now that his mother had no intention of moving out again? But, knowing lazy Pat as well as she did, it was no wonder that she was encouraging her son to mend his marriage. She herself didn’t want the burden of doing his washing and cooking. But she’d still expect to receive the money she got from him each week, supposedly to pay the rent, and she’d demand that be increased from now on as the rent on his and Aidy’s house was much higher than on the two-roomed hovel Pat had moved out of.

Now wasn’t the time, though, to be dwelling on thoughts of her devious mother-in-law. Arch deserved to be heard, but Aidy doubted he’d anything to say to her that could resolve matters between them.

She returned back inside the kitchen to await him.
Although the distance from the gate to the back door was only short, the clatter of Arch’s boots on the cobbles as he made his way over seemed to go on forever to Aidy. Finally he appeared in the doorway, looking uncertain. She was standing by the old, well-scrubbed kitchen table, both hands clutching the back of a chair for support.

‘We’ll talk in here as Gran’s asleep on the sofa and the kids are in bed. We’ll need to keep our voices down. Oh, and mind the floor, it’s wet. I don’t want to have to fetch the doctor again today.’

His face screwed up quizzically, he asked, ‘Why have you had to fetch him? Has something happened to one of the family?’

His mother wasn’t stupid. She must have known at the time that what she did to Bertha was not something an older woman would walk away from without some damage. By not even mentioning the incident to her son, she had obviously not given it a second thought. Aidy enlightened him.

‘I went to our house today to collect some of my personal belongings. Gran came with me for company. While I was upstairs, Gran and your mother had words and Pat bodily threw Gran out of the house. She ended up on the cobbles with a broken wrist and leg, and covered in bruises. Your mother must have known that what she’d done would cause serious harm to my gran, but she just shut the door on her.’

Arch was staring at her, both astounded and appalled. ‘Mam never said a word to me about it! Not even that you’d been round. I don’t know what to say … really I don’t. I’ll go and apologise to your gran.’

He made to go through to the back room but Aidy held up a warning hand to stop him. ‘I told you, she’s asleep. Anyway, it’s not
you
who should be apologising to her. And we both know the person who should, never will.’ She prompted him, ‘So what did you come to speak to me about, Arch?’

‘You know what, Aidy.’

Of course she did, but she wasn’t going to make it easy for him. ‘I’m no mind reader.’

He took a deep breath. Aidy could be exasperating at times. But then, that was one of the many things he loved about her: that she wasn’t the submissive type who only did exactly what her husband dictated, whether she wanted to or not. Now, though, she was looking drained, obviously worried how she was going to manage in the future, both financially and physically, and he fought a desperate urge to go over to her and hold her, tell her he’d an answer to their every problem. But knowing she would only rebuff any advance in the frame of mind she was in now, he decided against it. But she would think better of him when she had heard him out, he was positive of that.

Speaking hesitantly, Arch said, ‘Look, Aidy, after
yesterday and today, there’s no point in me trying to cover up the fact any longer that my own mother terrifies the life out of me. I’d sooner face an axe-wielding lunatic than her when she’s annoyed, and it don’t take much to get Mam’s dander up, as you well know. I promise, though … swear on God’s honour … cross me heart and hope to die … that I’ll never be such a coward in future and let her treat you and the kids and Gran the same way again. You have my word on that.

‘And about what me mam told you, about me not wanting to help you look after your family … Well, I admit, after she pointed some things out to me, I did have a few reservations. After all, it’s a big thing for a man to give up everything he’s worked for and take on someone else’s family, but that doesn’t matter now. Looking after your brother and sisters is not our responsibility … not when there’s someone else whose responsibility goes beyond that.’

Aidy frowned at him, bemused. ‘You know it’s not possible for Gran to care for them, so just who are you talking about being responsible for them? We haven’t got any other family.’

He smiled at her, looking pleased with himself. ‘But you have. Your father.’

Aidy gawped at him, utterly astounded and appalled by his suggestion. ‘Are you serious?’ she exclaimed.

He looked taken back. ‘Yes. He is their father, Aidy. It’s his job to look after his kids now their mother’s no longer here to do it.’

She stared at Arch in shocked disbelief that he could even contemplate such a diabolical option. Her husband was well aware what type of man her father was, and what Aidy herself thought of him.

‘Even supposing he would do it … provided we could find him, that is … do you really think that I would leave my own brother and sisters in the care of that … that … bastard who’s already abandoned his family twice! Marion has never even met him.

‘And what about Gran? Do you think he’d ever agree to look after her when she’s not even related to him, except by marriage. And do you actually think she’d ever agree to live with the man she hates and blames for her own daughter’s death?’ Her temper kindled, Aidy cried furiously: ‘I can’t believe you hate the thought of helping me look after them so much you’d suggest handing them over to a devil like that. How could you, Arch? How could you?’

He looked stunned, totally shocked by her reaction to his suggestion. He really had thought she would jump at his idea, be relieved to have the burden of her family lifted from her, allowing them both to get on with their own lives. He couldn’t believe he’d been so badly mistaken. Aidy was looking at him now with such shock and disillusionment that panic
ran through him. He saw a gulf widening between them that was in danger of becoming unbridgeable. He saw his life without her in it and the thought was unbearable to him. He would agree to anything, suffer it all in silence, sooner than lose her.

He beseeched her, ‘Aidy, please, forget what I suggested! It was only a thought. I … well, I don’t know what I was thinking, even suggesting it. Of course I’m willing to help you. I love the kids and your gran, you know that. I’ll do anything you want so long as we’re together.’

She eyed him coldly. ‘But you
did
suggest it, Arch, and I can’t forget you did. You’d sooner the kids and Gran lived a life of misery with the likes of … of … that man, than you be lumbered with them.’ She swallowed hard to stem the flood of miserable tears that threatened to choke her. ‘You’re not the man I thought you were.’ Finding she had nothing more to say to him, she heaved a deep sigh before adding, ‘I’ve a family to look after. If you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to them.’

Arch couldn’t believe it was all over between them. His thoughts raced wildly, frantically searching for a way to turn this situation around. Nothing but pitiful excuses materialised. In pure desperation, he blurted, ‘Which you can’t do without my help, Aidy. Without my wage packet, you’ll all be on the streets in no time.’

She gasped, hurt filling her at this lack of faith in her abilities. Her eyes brimming with contempt for him, she hissed, ‘Oh, can’t I? Well, I’ll show you that I don’t need your money. And now I’ve seen you for what you really are, I don’t need or want
you
either.’

She shot over to the door. Catching him offguard, she gave Arch a hard shove on his shoulder. He stumbled back out of the doorway into the yard, and the next thing he knew the door was slammed shut in his face and he heard the key turning in the lock.

Numb with shock, he stared blindly at the closed door. He’d come here tonight to save his marriage; instead he had managed to end it. Aidy had left him in no doubt that there was no going back for them. His broad shoulders slumped in despair, he turned and walked from the yard.

In the back room, the sound of raised voices had roused Bertha from sleep. She had recognised them immediately and hope had soared within her that her beloved granddaughter and her husband were resolving their differences and putting their marriage back on the right track again. But that hope was instantly dashed by the tone of their voices, especially Aidy’s, and she knew that her wish for a reconciliation between them was not going to be granted. When she heard the slamming of the
back door, and moments later the sound of Aidy weeping, her own heart broke then for the sorrow she knew her granddaughter was suffering. Bertha wept herself back to sleep.

A
idy pulled a length of thread from the back of the sewing machine and clipped it neatly off with scissors. She gave the collar she had sewn a smooth out and then ran a keen eye over it. It wasn’t the usual perfect result, but hopefully the beady-eyed examiner would feel the very slight mistake she had made, in not tucking the pleated trim far enough into the seam, was not bad enough to fail it. To unpick and redo it would set Aidy further back with her daily quota than she was already.

She’d leaned over to pick up the completed body of a dress and begin attaching the collar to it when she realised her forewoman was standing by her, looking down at her with concern. Aidy looked back up at her worriedly, wondering what she had come to speak to her about, hoping it wasn’t what she suspected it was.

Imelda Hardwick was becoming increasingly worried about Aidy. Since her mother’s death, her
output and the quality of her workmanship had gradually declined, despite several warnings about it. Her personal tragedy had happened over five weeks ago, long enough for Aidy outwardly to come to terms with her loss, although Imelda herself knew from experience you never actually got over the death of a loved one, just learned to live with it. Because of her own bereavement and her soft spot for Aidy, Imelda had been making allowances for her mistakes, but she couldn’t afford to any longer.

She had just come out of a very tough meeting with the factory owner, the works manager, and all the rest of the departmental foremen and women. The recession was biting deeper. Thousands of jobs were being lost on a spiralling basis across local industries, with no prospect of those workers obtaining other gainful employment until the situation improved. Up to now the hosiery industry had got off lightly; people always needed clothes, and despite a huge rise in poverty amongst the working class, there were still others who did have money to spend, especially among the middle classes who bought the good-quality wares produced here. But now the recession was affecting even the moneyed classes who were also cutting back on their spending. As a result of this the factory’s orders were being cut, some even cancelled. The owner had ordered that each department was to halve its
workforce and warned there would be no pay rises in the foreseeable future for those who remained. Once it had been decided which workers were to lose their jobs, a general announcement would be made. Until then, management had been warned to keep tight lipped.

As she looked at Aidy, it distressed Imelda to observe how the once lively and happy young woman had changed. She seemed drained, as if her life blood were being slowly sucked from her. Imelda couldn’t afford to be sentimental at a time like this when even her own job was in jeopardy, but there were many others she’d sooner get rid of than Aidy. She decided she would offer her one final warning to pull herself together or else her name would have to go on the dismissal list.

‘You should have had that batch finished by now, Aidy. Your mother’s been dead five weeks … I can’t afford to carry your slacking any longer. Pull your socks up! I’m warning you, this is the last time I’m going to speak to you on this matter.’

Aidy gulped. She knew exactly what was meant. This was Imelda’s way of warning her that if she didn’t up her production, then it was time for her cards.

But how did you manage to summon up energy you just did not have? While still grieving terribly for the loss of her mother and her marriage … she
wasn’t sure which of them was the worst … Aidy was working in the factory nine hours a day, five and a half days a week, plus tackling all the work involved in single-handedly looking after her family. It was all beginning to tell on her. She looked and felt exhausted. As soon as her head touched the pillow, she was swept into oblivion. But it wasn’t a restful sleep, not with the constant nightmares Aidy was prey to. She suffered from vivid dreams of her family and herself knocking on the door of the workhouse, that prospect being her ever-present dread. She feared it would become a reality if she didn’t somehow muster the energy to up her pace and fulfil her daily work quotas.

She hadn’t even the strength to make an excuse now for her underachieving. Imelda took the look on Aidy’s face to mean she’d got the message, and went on her way.

‘You ain’t told Hardwick about yer home circumstances, have yer, Aidy? You ought to, then she’d know just why you’re having a job keeping up and hopefully make allowances for you, until yer gran’s back on her feet and taking some of the workload off yer.’

Aidy turned to look at her friend on the machine next to hers. Colleen Brown and she had started at the firm within a week of each other and had immediately hit it off. It wasn’t long before they were
spending all their free time together and had met their respective husbands within months of each other at the local youth club. The couples had often made up a foursome while they were courting. These days they didn’t see each other much at all out of work as Colleen’s spare time was taken up by her husband and three children, the same as Aidy’s family took up her time now. Only Aidy knew that Colleen had recently missed a period and was beside herself with worry that she could be expecting her fourth child, an unaffordable addition to the family.