Seductive Truths (Seductive Trilogy) (34 page)

     Pained sapphire eyes and a defenceless body swarms my mind and I am wracked with guilt. 

    
What am I doing? 

     How could I even entertain the thought of kissing, more like ravishing, the man who put Gareth in hospital? 
Christ!  I am snogging my brother’s killer!

    
I feel sick
.

     Yanking myself away I exclaim,
‘
This cannot happen, will never happen.  You and I are over and nothing you say will change my mind.  What you’ve done is inexcusable and I will never be able to get over it.  I...I need to go,
’
I fluster around continuing with my packing. 
‘
I need to get away from you.  Can’t stand it anymore, need to get away, need to go.
’

    
‘
Alex…
’

    
‘
Need to go, have to go.
’

    
‘
Alex, will you just listen to me!
’
and I feel firm hands grab hold of my upper arm and tug me round so I end up facing him. 
‘
Are you mad woman?  You can’t seriously be thinking about going back to him can you?  Have you heard a word of what I said?  He’s a dangerous man…
’

    
‘
No,
you’re
the dangerous one William.  Can’t you see?  It’s because you can lead a double life which is what makes you dangerous.  When it comes down to it, you are inevitably two people.  And yes, we had something special once upon a time ago, but no longer.  A part of me will always love you William, there is no getting away from that fact, but I just can’t be around you. 

    
‘
And as for Gareth, I haven’t made up my mind.  I need time away from this mess, get some sense of normality back into my life.  Maybe then I will be able to see clearly.  Gareth isn’t exactly going anywhere for the time being so it gives me time.
’

    
‘
You do know you are making one
big
mistake by doing this?
’
a steely tone slithers into his voice.

    
I hate this man he has become…already is…or whatever!

    
‘
Then it will be
my
mistake to make and I’ll live with the consequences.
’

     He looks into my eyes,
really
looks, like he is trying to identify whether I’m bluffing.

    
I’ve never noticed before how scary his eyes can get.  There are some alarming emotions swimming about in those irises of his.
   

    
‘
Fine,
’
he says and lets go of my arm. 
‘
But you remember what you said, because I grant you there will definitely be consequences.
’

     With one last parting look he turns on his heel and storms off towards the front door.  However, once again my mouth moves before my brain kicks into gear and I speak without thinking.

    
‘
I wish you well William.
’

     He stops dead, hand outstretched.

     His head turns slightly to the side as if he is in two minds to turn around, but he doesn’t move from his position.  Instead I see his shoulders rise and fall in time with his heavy breathing, back scrunches up and fists clench, tension claiming every inch of his body immobilising him for a mere few seconds.

     My eyes follow a lock of his curly brown hair as it falls across his forehead.  Even now my fingers itch with the need to delicately smooth it back into place. 

     Yes, William will always hold a special place in my heart
. 

    
‘
Stay safe Alex,
’
and then he is gone.

     Out of my life.

     Forever.  

    
Goodbye William
. 

    
Great, it’s raining, such a cliché. 

     After William stormed out of our, well, the apartment I hurriedly shoved a few more items into my bag and made a move to head back to Gareth and now here I am watching the rain overflow the drains.  The thrashing of the drops beat against the windowpanes, but this doesn’t hinder the snogging couple on the corner, in fact, the weather seems to be encouraging them! 

    
Wait a minute, that’s my neighbour!  No.  Keep your focus Alex; you’re on your way to see Gareth
.

     One part of my life has come to an end and now it is time to move on.

     Reaching inside my pocket I pull out my mobile phone, but before I have chance to punch in the taxi number it is knocked out of my hand.

    
‘
Oh sorry Miss, my fault, wasn’t watching where I was going.  Here you go.
’

     Looking up to thank him I come face to face with scraggy jet black hair, blood shot eyes and a knowing smile. 
Dougie?

    
‘
What are you doing here?
’
I say while alternatively gazing around my surroundings making sure no one is staring at us. 
‘
If you have come for Gareth I’m afraid…
’

    
‘
I know about Gareth Alex, but that’s not why I am here.  I need you to give him something,
’
and a scrunched up slip of paper is shoved into my hand. 
‘
Tell him to ring it.  He
needs
to ring it.
’

     Opening it up I see a scribbled number.

    
Don’t recognise it
.

    
‘
What’s this for?  Whose is it?
’

    
‘
I don’t know who gave it to me or who the number belongs to, I’m just following orders.
’

    
‘
Can’t you even describe what they looked like?
’

    
‘
I’m sorry Alex, but I can’t tell you anything.  To be honest, I don’t really know much.  All I know is that I must get this to Gareth, it’s important.
’

    
‘
So why can’t you give it to him yourself?
’

    
‘
I need to go back to my kid, can’t leave him alone for long.  Plus, you never know who could be sniffing around hospitals, coppers for instance.  I don’t want to run the risk of being caught.
’

    
‘
I understand Dougie; I’ll give it to him.  I’m just on my way back to see him now.
’

    
‘
Say hi from me and tell him to get well soon so he can get his lardy arse back onto the streets.  The area is not quite the same without him sneaking around.
’

    
‘
I’ll pass on the message.  Oh and Dougie, stay safe, I know Gareth would want that.
’

     He may be a creep but for some unfathomable reason I find empathy towards him.  The longer I am connected to Gareth, the more I feel comfortable in his world, his way of living.  I can’t explain it, it’s just…there.

     Dougie’s eyes squint, glistening with inquisition, before a gentle smile l
ifts the corner of his mouth, slightly chipped teeth peek through.

    
‘
Thanks
Scarlet
.
’ 
Scarlet?  Oh yes, I remember, the chosen name given by Gareth!
 
‘
You know, I don’t know what’s really going on or why he went after you, but I’m glad he did.  Gareth deserves a woman like you in his life.  Just watch your step though; he has made a lot of enemies over the years.
’

    
‘
Erm…thanks.
’

     And with a nod of his head he disappears into the dark alley.

    
Hmmm, I wonder what this is about
.

     A few rain drops soak into the slip of paper and my eyes drift to the number that has started to smudge.

    
Should I ring it?  No, it is between Gareth and whoever this number belongs to, I should just trust him.  But where has trust got me so far?  Still…

     However, curiosity gets the better of me and I quickly dial the number before I have chance to back out. 
I can’t believe I’m doing this!
  But after several rings it goes straight to answerphone.

    
So much for that then
.

     Sliding the number into my pocket I go to dial another.

    
‘
Hello, yes, I’d like a taxi please.
’




     As I make my way along the corridor I hear a commotion up ahead.  I go to turn the corner only to be confronted by an upheaval in one of the rooms.  It’s only when I draw closer I realise it’s the room containing Gareth.  Panic setting in I pick up my pace and come careening into the
chaos
, almost crashing into an extremely flustered nurse rushing in the opposite direction.

    
‘
Would you calm down Sir, we do not want you to aggravate your wound…
’

    
‘
Where is she?  I need to see her; I need to see Alex!
’

    
He’s awake!  Oh thank God, he’s awake!

    
‘
Sir…
’

    
‘
Get off me you bastard!  I do not want that pissing needle anywhere near me!  Just get me Alex you incompetent, baboon faced, ar…
’

    
‘
Oh, thank God, you’re here.  I was just going to call you.
’
  I turn to see a very relieved Nurse Harding almost sprinting to my side, arms out in preparation to guide me to the man kicking up so much fuss. 
‘
He’s been like this ever since he has woken up.  He has been asking for you constantly.
’

    
‘
Alex!  Alex!  Is that you? Alex!
’
  he shouts, trying to peer through the cluster of staff surrounding his bed attempting to calm him down. 

     I can’t help but smile at hearing his familiar rough growl.  My stomach flips in anticipation. 
It must be love!
 

    
‘
When did he wake up?
’
I ask the nurse as we make our way over to the uncooperative patient.

    
‘
About half an hour ago.  We were about to give him a sedative to relax him, but now you’re here, maybe you could talk to him.   He’s got enough medication pumping around him as it is so we’d rather not give him more.  The sooner he quietens down the better; he’s disturbing the rest of our patients.
’

    
‘
I’ll try my best,
’
I reply, never taking my eyes off of Gareth struggling to get out of bed. 
‘
I’ll try.
’
     

     As I make my way over to his side I experience a sense of euphoria.  It feels like I am walking on air and that right here, right now is the place I am meant to be.  And when our eyes connect I am home.

    
‘
Alex, are you alright?
’
fear lights up his pupils.

    
‘
Of course I’m alright, more so now you’re awake.  I just went home to change.  I should be the one asking you how you’re feeling.
’

    
‘
I’m okay, fit as a fiddle me.  Nothing a bit of TLC won’t fix,
’
he winks while reaching for my hands.

    
‘
Hmmm, I’m sure I can help you with that,
’
and I go to lean down to give him a kiss, but am rudely interrupted by a nurse scuttling around checking Gareth’s blood pressure and vitals.

     A knowing look passes between the two of us and I nearly laugh at the exasperated expression that drifts over his face.  If looks could kill that nurse wouldn’t still be standing.